this one reads:

Harry

James

Harry

Draco

the second part reads:

Harry

Draco

Pity Problems

"Wake up."

"No."

"Good, you're awake. Now get up, we're cleaning the house today."

"Since when? We aren't cleaning."

"Yes we are. We are going to have this place spotless before James leaves. We are going to use our free child for manual labour purposes. Quite genius, actually."

"No, it's not. Not genius at all. I'd come up with a new plan if I were you."

"But you aren't."

"Thank Merlin. One Harry is bad enough."

"Hateful. Now, get up James! We have to buy you all sorts of things for Hogwarts. The least you could do is clean up this pig sty you call a bedroom."

"Is that all I have to do? Pick up my room?"

"No."

"I'm going back to bed."

"No you aren't, Draco. No rest until I say you can rest. James, don't make me bodily drag you from your bed. I'm not liable for loss of motor functions."

"Fine, I'll clean my room. But I'm not going to like it."

"I assumed as much. I suppose you like the smell of dirt, drool, and rotting food?"

"I know I do."

"Stop with the sarcasm and grab a broom!"

"If I grab a broom I'm flying away."

"And I'll pull out my wand and curse you out of the sky, now clean!"

"Harry, I don't think..."

"Silence from you! Now, get the vacuum and march."

"But my arm hurts, Dad. I don't want to clean my room."

"Trying to wring pity out of me won't work. I've used it all up. You both are kings for excuses, I'm not going to believe anything you say."

"But Harry my love, I am carrying yet another child of your parentage."

"You are not, you were nicer when you were pregnant. James, get out of bed now."

"I'm paralyzed and I love you. Please don't make me clean my room."

"Once again, you will receive no pity from me. You are going away to school and your room will ferment if you don't clean it. If it does that, we'll probably have to burn it down and start all over again."

"Dear Merlin Potter, you have most definitely been around me for too lo...ow, don't bloody pinch me! I'm going, I'm going..."

"Good. James, I am giving you an hour. I had better be able to see the floor and not have to suppress vomit when I walk in. Understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go set your mum to task."

"Draco?"

"I'm not bloody cleaning anything."

"Draco."

"I'm not going to do it. I am above the mundane task of wiping things. I won't do it."

"Yes you will."

"No I won't."

"You will because I told you too."

"Since when do I do what you tell me to do? My guess would be never, but..."

"You'll do it or there will be no sex."

"I can always buy sex."

"And I can always slice off your bits."

"Ow."

"Try me."

"Harry, I DON'T clean. It's in my rules."

"What rules?"

"The rules I made you read when we started dating."

"You mean that horrible 32 page rant about how wonderful you are and how utterly unworthy I am?"

"That would be the one, yes."

"You clean. Wives clean."

"Ah yes, but I'm not your wife."

"But yet, you are still going to clean. I promise it will be worth it."

"I don't need your pity sex."

"I won't be giving any unless you..."

"Yes, yes, I know what I have to do."

"Now get to vacuuming, bitch."

"You did NOT just say that."

"Nope."

End