Title: The Seven Year Itch
Author: MindyH
Chapter: 5
See part one for disclaimer etc.
And now, she was drunk.
He'd got her there and felt very little remorse at having achieved it. Gibbs was sorry to see that Kate Todd had changed quite a lot, in the intervening years— he'd recognized it the moment he clapped eyes on her again.
She was still beautiful, still strong and engaging, but her manner was more guarded, her eyes a little dull. Something had shattered her confidence, someone had broken her heart. The last traces of the girlishness which he used to find so exasperating had vanished entirely and in their place was the distrustful shield of a woman who had been hurt too much.
She needed a drink. She needed a friend. She needed someone who remembered who she really was. Suddenly, with just a little gin and tonic, the woman he used to know began to appear again.
The Kate Todd he used to know, had eyes that sparkled, a voice that smoldered and a laugh for every day of the week. His particular favorites had been the dark snigger, which frequently emerged at DiNozzo's expense; the gently amused chuckle, which he often received on telling her something like that scotch keeps you warm but doesn't cost you a house.
Presently, she was employing his other favorite, the openly, girly giggle. He couldn't help but smile in response, despite not knowing what had made her laugh in the first place. He didn't care. The sound of her laughter, the light in her eyes was worth the emptiness in his wallet, after he'd paid for her meal and drinks.
He had come into this with a very simple but specific strategy. First, he'd get her drunk, then he'd get her talking. He had a long list of questions which he'd wanted to raise for some time, including why she'd left NCIS and his team in the first place. What had Bradley Hughes offered her that was so damn irresistible? Also he longed to know in minute detail the reason for their recent breakup; what had caused the demise of her marriage to the FBI's fair-haired boy.
He knew he really had no right to ask -- but Kate had meet his curiosity with candor, and while he hadn't received the full story, what he got from her was her most sincere and meaningful response. With that, he had to be content.
And he was. In her company again, he found he wasn't so obsessed with the why's and who's and when's, he was merely interested in her and in the pull that he once more felt stretching between them just as it always had done.
He leaned in again, watching her laugh, noticing for the second time how close his hands were to hers. All night he'd been wanting to reach out and take her hand, stroke the skin of her wrist which looked so soft or run his thumb over the inside of her palm.
The heat that he felt flickering between them was even more potent than he remembered. He'd wondered over the years, whether he'd imbued her with more quality and power that she'd actually had, whether he'd imagined the connection they'd shared.
Apparently not, he mused privately, feeling his body thrill in response to her nearness. It was more real than he could bear.
Back when he first knew her, he never would've admitted it to himself, never would've indulged the thoughts (for long) that he was now entertaining. Thoughts of taking Caitlin Todd home and discovering some other sounds she might be capable of making, exploring the skin of not just her hands, proving to her just how insane Bradley Hughes had been to let her out of his life.
In the past, he never felt like he had the right or stamina to offer Kate Todd anything much. Professionally, he could make her into a great agent, a force to be reckoned with, he could help her fulfill her enormous potential.
That, he could give her. That, she would accept.
Anything more they may have separately dreamt of was categorically forbidden. He'd driven her away, out of fear, not knowing just how much he'd been hurting both of them, and not realizing until too late, how far away from him she would actually be pushed.
To say he regretted it was a massive understatement.
Strangely enough, it was only now that Kate Todd had grown up a little, and now that her heart had been broken, that he felt like he could offer her something much more than in the beginning.
Kate's laughter receded as she realized she was being observed by his dark, direct gaze. Her eyes gleamed with merriment as she planted her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. Her lips were still moist from drink, and her cheeks slightly flushed as she leant across the table towards him. He leant in closer too.
"Gibbs…" she breathed, after a long, long pause that throbbed with possibility. She averted her eyes briefly licking her lips as he watched every movement she made and waited for her to speak.
"You ever wonder…" she began hesitantly: "what might have happened…"she whispered, looking up at him: "if I hadn't joined NCIS?"
His brow creased as he looked at her, reading the real question in her eyes: "Between you and me, you mean?" he asked carefully.
She nodded faintly, her eyes wide and wondering. He thought back to when he first encountered her younger version aboard Air Force One and what a strange and intense meeting it had been.
"Maybe," he began, indecisively: "…maybe I would never have seen you again."
Her glowing expression seemed to recede somewhat. He saw a little flicker of disappointment in the back of her eyes and a dullness appear in her face again.
"Maybe," she admitted softly, her eyes still holding his, hoping for something more.
Gibbs shifted as close as the table would allow him, summoning his nerve. He hesitated before plunging in, not sure whether he was up to the challenge, whether he really knew how to do this anymore.
"Or maybe," he added, his voice strained and husky: "a few nights later… when I'd worked up the guts…." He shrugged, his voice deceptively casual: "I would've called you."
Her eyes opened a little wider, the fire deep within flaring again as she searched her mind for a response. And he could tell from her eyes that she'd thought about it too.
She tipped back her head slightly: "How would you have got my number?" she asked, quietly challenging.
He grinned slowly: "I have my ways."
Her mouth turned up in response: "And what would you have said?" she murmured, liltingly.
Gibbs took a breath, willingly his heart to slow. The way she was looking at him was making him loose all his words. Flirting with Kate Todd was easier than he thought – all he had to do was be completely honest.
"I would have said…" he rumbled, thinking as he spoke: "that I wanted to take you out to dinner. Get you drunk and have you tell me everything there is to know about Caitlin Todd and how she got here."
Kate's lips parted softly, as her breathing increased noticeably. Her cheeks darkened beguilingly again as her eyes flicked back and forth between his.
"What would you have said?" he asked impatiently, hoping he wasn't reading her wrong.
She breathed in, pursing her lips for a moment, then replying softly: "I probably would have called you an immoral and demanding bastard." Her eyes glowed at him shyly for a moment before dropping downwards: "Right before I jumped at the offer," she admitted, with a slightly amused intonation.
He smiled: "And then what?" he asked, wanting to know how much she'd thought about this, how far she'd carried the fantasy. The very idea that she had thought about it too -- about them -- that she'd wanted exactly what he had, all that time ago, while not a huge surprise to him, sent him nearly mad with want.
He watched closely as she bowed her head so that he could smell her shampoo again, just like he had at the bar, when he'd felt her body through her clothes.
"Then," she mused, running a finger around the rim of her glass: "I would've worn something ….very red and very sexy." She looked at him again, telling him in a candid voice that both faltered and smoldered: "And I would've hoped like hell that you kissed me before the night was over."
He wanted to kiss her now. He wanted nothing more than to just get rid of this heavy table sitting between them, push her down onto the leather and finally taste her mouth, touch her body, make her sigh. Instead, he reached out with one finger to graze over her thumb using a light touch.
"I would've, Katie," he answered, thickly, his heart pounding in his chest with excitement.
If Kate Todd had not joined NCIS, he knows he would not have had the strength to let her just walk away. He would have found some way to be with her again, even if it meant exposing himself to feelings he'd spent a long time trying to avoid.
If Kate Todd had never joined NCIS; if she had worn that red dress and let him take her to dinner, there would have been nothing that could've stopped him kissing her before the night was over.
He would have done that -- and so much more.
Her eyes fluttered faintly as his finger continued to stroke her skin: "God, why didn't you?" she breathed shakily.
"Because," he began and faltered. He cleared his throat and withdrew his hand, unable to stop himself from speaking the truth, unable to deny the wound he still fostered: "Because, by now," he sighed, deeply: "We would be screaming at each other. And you would be aiming glass vases at my head."
He leaned back, not withdrawing from her completely, but sticking his hands back under the table. That's what it came down to after all. Fantasy was one thing; reality another. He was crap at relationships and he hadn't improved with age. He'd seen things deteriorate with too many women and couldn't stand to see it happen again. Especially with Kate.
"But you still think about it," she insisted, gently after a long silence.
He met her discerning gaze, her eyelashes falling dimly. He couldn't deny their connection, he couldn't deny he'd missed her. But a large portion of his life experience was still holding him back, and he didn't know how to alter that, when it was so deeply entrenched in his heart.
"So do I," she added softly, holding his eyes.
He could reach out and touch her right now, and he knew Kate wouldn't stop him. He could tell her right now how he felt, all he'd hidden for so many years, and she would probably smile and kiss him. His Katie was once more sitting in front of him, his chance with her had miraculously resurfaced. And, once more, he was watching passively as it slipped irrevocably by.
When he didn't say anything more, Kate dropped her eyes and slid slowly out of the booth, standing on unsteady legs. She was heading for the ladies room, one hand still gripping the table as she turned, when she seemed to reconsider.
Turning back, she faced him squarely, hesitating before telling him in a soft tone: "I'm not a child, Gibbs. I never was." She swayed a little and continued in a voice that held no pretense or reproach: "You don't have to protect me and I won't throw things if I don't get my own way. I am – despite everything," she gave a sad little laugh: "perfectly capable of conducting an adult relationship."
She paused a moment and added, more pointedly: "As are you." Leaning in, she planted both hands on the table and pinned his wary eyes with her druggy gaze: "Question is, -- do you want to? How much do you really think about it? 'Cause I'll make it real easy on you, Gibbs."
She straightened and waved at the dark booth they'd been sitting in, her voice lowered dangerously: "You don't have to take me out or get me drunk. I'll tell you anything you want to know. And I'd give you everything I've got--" she blinked and finished quietly: "If you're up to it."
And with that, she walked away.
Gibbs gulped as he sat back in the booth, watching her move slowly through the rows of tables towards the bathrooms. So much for strategy. He really hadn't seen that coming. Drunken Kate was much more to handle than he thought. She'd pretty much rendered him speechless.
How much of that she had meant, though, and how much she would regret in the morning, he did not know. He didn't have much time to consider it though, or reflect on the opportunity she had just presented him with, because his cell phone trilled and when he answered it, he was told that their prime suspect in the rape and murder of three young women had somehow escaped. He was standing in the doorway, yelling down the line, when Kate reappeared.
"He's on the run," he told her blankly and watched her shift gears at once, pulling out her own cell and beginning to assemble her own team.
"Your place or mine?" she asked, briskly, grabbing her coat and following him out the door.
He was already heading for NCIS headquarters. "Mine," he growled over his shoulder at her, feeling her match his pace, at his side.
TBC….