Pleasing Problems
"It's quiet."
"I know. Too quiet."
"What do we do now? I mean, we've got all the time in the world. Do you want to go somewhere?"
"Not really. D...do you want to have sex? This way we can be as loud as we want and not worry about bothering James."
"I...well..."
"Oh come on, you know you want to. You're a screamer by nature, I think it's physically painful for you to hold it in."
"Well Draco, when you are constantly whispering vulgar things into my ear and pinching...certain body parts...you make it difficult."
"It's because I'm totally sexy with my rabbit-soft hair and my large scar that tells of struggle and strength and my fantastic body that just oozes sex."
"My scar is cooler than yours. Mine is proof that I survived Voldemort. Yours is just proof someone cut up your stomach and pulled out a child."
"That's a big deal, Harry. You only wish you had thought of it first."
"Whatever. Are we going to have sex or what?"
"No. You insulted me."
"I did not. It's not worth it. I don't like it when you are angry with me. You refuse to talk to me and kick me in the shins in bed."
"I do not."
"You bloody well do. Please can we have sex?"
"I suppose. Come here you sexy man-panther."
"Man panther?"
"Shut up and get over here while I'm still in the mood."
"Unlike you, the oldest of the pair of us, I don't have that problem. I am always in the mood because of my youthful vigor."
"Fuck. You."
"No need to get snippy. Take your trousers off."
"Whatever you want, oh wait, I'm angry with you."
"You shouldn't be. If I were you I would be pleased I had a willing, screaming partner."
"I'm not pleased. You usually don't please me."
"Oh well...step out of them, there you go...it's the thought that counts."
"At least close the bloody blinds if you're going to do that. I don't want our sex life on display for all the world to see. Unlike you, I'm not an exhibitionist."
"Anything to please you."
"Stop talking and put your mouth to better use. Suck."
"I'm not just going to..."
"Yes you are. Anything to please me, right?"
"But..."
"Suck."
"I..."
"Suck."
"Fine."
"Good boy."
"I hate you."
"Love you too."
End