Parody: Parody Parade

Summary: Point: To write an ultimately funny parody with no pairing, and randomly hilarity at any given moment.

Specka: Okay, I like this parody the best. So, I guess I have to get into the dramatic part of Hansel PotSmoker the next chapter, but I'll wait until then. And I hope you like this chapter, it's very creative!

Disclaimer: If I could, I'd buy--

(which means I DON'T OWN!)

Evanescence's 'Bring Me to Life'

Linkin Park's 'Breaking the Habit'

Nine Inch Nails' 'The Perfect Drug'

Hawthorne Heights' 'Saying Sorry'

JK Rowling's 'Harry Potter'

Chapter Includes:

Harry Potter trying to be a superhero.

Ronald Weasley being an idiot.

Hermione Granger 'getting good grades.'

Professor Snape's horrible past.

Another game of extreme goldfish: Draco, Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid.

Some poker and Anorexic!Hagrid.

Snogging and KetchupObsessed!Hermione.

And...karaoke! Like always!

Chapter 3: In Which Draco and Hermione Free Azkaban Prisoners

The story starts off with Harry. Harry had gotten drunk that morning. So, tying Seamus' bedsheet around his neck, (mind you, Seamus is still in it) he jumped down the stairs, causing Seamus to grow wings, transform into a giant bird, and perch on Harry's shoulder.

"I am the-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Some-Other-Weird-Descriptions-That-Make-Me-Look-Awesome Man! And this is my sidekick, Phidippides!" Seamus crowed at Harry and bit his cheek off. So, the-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Have-His-Cheek-Bitten-Off-Oh-Funny Man and Phidippides ran around the school saving first years that were stuck in Professor Snape's classroom.

Hermione huffed and walked away, a book in her hands. She had to go make sure she got an O on her Charms test. Skipping into Professor Flitwick room, she pressed a button on the wall and a pole came from out of nowhere. Hermione tore her robes off to reveal some stripper outfit she had found while washing Ron's laundry. She twirled around the pole for the Professor and when she got her test back...

"Yes, an O!" She exclaimed, winking at Flitwick. Everyone groaned, wondering why Hermione's grades were so excellent.

Meanwhile, Ron jumped down the stairs from the seventh floor to the second. As he was falling, he started to sing. "Wake me up inside, Wake me up inside! Call my name and saaaaaavvveeeee mmeeeeeeee frrroooooooom theeeeee darrrrrrrrkkkk! Bid my blood to run, before I come undone! Save me from the noooootttthinnnnnnnnnggggg I've beeeeeeecommmeeeee!" Before the Boy-Who-Lived Man-Who-Saves-Innocent-Redheaded-Morons-From-Sucide, who was flying on Phidippides' back, swooped him up in the 'idiot catcher net' and flew off into the sunset--ahem, wrong scene. And flew off into the stained glass window, sliding to the floor. Now, the window was stained with their blood.

While Hermione was skipping around, she accidentally stepped on Phidippides, who squawked angrily and shitted on Ron's face. Hermione found this a wonderful time to sing, and the-Boy-Who-Lived-Who-Is-Supposed-To-Be-Unconscious Man became conscious, even after falling five stories, as they sang.

"I'll paint it on the walls! Cause I'm the one that falls! I'll never fight again! Cause this is how it ends! I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream? But now I have some clarity, to show you what I mean. I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be all right! So I'm breeeeeaaaaaaakkinnnnng the haaaaaabbbbiiiiiiiiiitttttt, I'm breeeeeaaaaaaakkinnnnng the haaaaaabbbbiiiiiiiiiitttttt, I'm breeeeeaaaaaaakkinnnnng the haaaaaabbbbiiiiiiiiiitttttt, tooooooniiiiiight!" Hermione and the-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Forgot-To-Take-His-Monthly-Pill passed out. And then, when they woke up, they were in a pensieve. Professor Snape's pensieve.

--

"And I want you, and I want you. And I want you, and I want you! You are the perfect druuuug, the perfect druuuug, the perfect druuuug." It looked like Snape's father, singing to--blanch...Professor Dumbledore. The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Act-Retarded-When-It's-Called-For promptly puked on the floor, but he was in a pensieve, so no one paid any attention. A mini Snape walked out of another room to see his father kneeling in front of Professor Dumbledore, clasping his hands.

"I'm sorry. I can't love you." And then, Professor Dumbledore saw the little Snape standing there.

"Severus, child, what have you been up to!" The door opened again to admit a teenager, the same age as the little Snape. He had long, blonde hair, which was tied into a ponytail and grey eyes.

"Hey, Sevvie. Me and Tom Riddle are gonna go play a game of extreme goldfish. Wanna come?" The boy sounded exactly like someone the-Boy-Who-Lived-That-Forgot-That-Draco's-Obsessed-With-Goldfish knew, yet he couldn't place his hand on it. Severus looked at his father pleadingly.

"Oh please, can I go?" He begged.

"No!" So, his father began to sing songs instead of answering his son. "It's the way, that he makes you feel, it's the way, that he kisses you, it's the way, that he makes you fall in looooooooovvveeeeeee. Pretty girl is sufferriiiiiinnnnngg while he confesses eveerrrythiiinnnggg. Pretty soon she'll figguurreee ouutttt what his intentions wweeeerrreeee abbouuuuttt."

--

After getting out of Professor Snape's pensieve and seeing Ron on the Astronomy Tower strapped up in a bungee cord and getting ready to jump into a pit of lava and jello, the-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Is-Utterly-Retarded-In-This-Chapter jumped on Phidippides and flew off. After finding Snape in the Great Hall talking to a stoned Dumbledore, he flew over and hugged Snape.

"Saying goodbye! This time! The same old story! Seeing you cry! Makes me feel like saying sorrrrryyyy!" the-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Snog-His-Greasy-Professor kissed Snape and the man barfed on the-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Needs-Mouthwash's cape. "Professor, I'm sorry that your father sang in a horrible high tone voice to Sugarcult, which is muggle and sang songs to Professor Dumbledore that confessed his love!"

Then, Draco Malfoy ran into the Great Hall. "Potter, Granger!" He was dressed in a hoodie saying, "Crips up, B's down," and his hair was in a blonde afro and his pants were around his ankles. "I'm back from the hospital, and you are cordially invited to my exclusive game of X-Treeeeeeme Goldfish, using my famous Wizard of Oz limited edition playing cards with new Alice of Spades!" the-Boy-Who-Lived Man and Hermione agreed, so the-Boy-Who-Lived-And-His-Stupid-Obsession-With-Jello flew off on Phidippides and Hermione followed Draco to the dungeons, yet again.

--

Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Hagrid sat in a circle of the Wizard of Oz playing cards. Hermione asked Draco for a Queen and he handed her two, consisting of a pair. Slyly, she asked Harry for a Queen as well, and he relinquished his as well. Hermione jumped up again, winning.

"Damn, Granger." Draco said, laying his cards down as Hermione and her beloved ketchup did a victory dance. "You should enter Hogwarts new, mysterious Extreme Goldfish championships. You'd cream them all." She smiled, before squirting ketchup on Phidippides and starting a bonfire on Hagrid's large beard. They all sat around the fire and roasted Phidippides; Needless to say, roasted bird with ketchup was the source of energy for the crazed teens. Afterwards, Hagrid and Harry played strip poker, Harry losing because of Hagrid's bear skin rug layers, which made him fat. Hagrid was actually anorexic, but hid it behind his larg extensive clothing. Draco and Hermione proceeded to the nearest spare empty classroom with a bottle of ketchup, some whipped cream, handcuffs, and a pair of scissors. I guess they were gonna go break someone out of Azkaban. Those guards sure do love ketchup.

Chapter 3: In Which Draco and Hermione Free Azkaban Prisoners

Crys: Review! Thanks you guys for reviewing Hansel!