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Of all the people to be stuck in a carriage with.
Fixing a scowl on his handsome face Walter Corey, aka Mr Jarvis the stern yet fair butler at Taplows, stared forward at the opposite wall of the carriage. It had seemed like a privilege at the beginning, there were only two carriages and it had surprised him when having stopped over night at the inn practically all the staff had preferred to cram themselves into one carriage rather then spread themselves over two. He had thought that perhaps the men had decided to indulge in a little gambling and drinking, something that they couldn't do with two ladies present but now he knew the truth.
They had stitched him up the bastards!
Gritting his teeth as the high pitched hiss and wheeze went right through him, he could have sworn his ears were beginning to bleed if not yet then they would when he ripped them from the side of his head; it was either that or childishly stuffing his fingers into his ears to gain some respite. Risking a glance across at his other travelling companion, his curiosity piqued as to how she could have stood this two days in a row? Yet Flora Ryan seemed completely serene, a complicated needlework sampler sat on her knee as she added delicate little stitches seemingly oblivious to Mrs Diggin's nerve jangling snores. If only she would speak or damn it at least give some sign as being so affected perhaps he could have borne it better. As it was he had scarcely been able to concentrate and had read the same line in his book over five times.
Staring out the window he tried to comfort himself that at least the weather was as miserable as he was. Unusually for this time of year the sky was darkening to an ominous black a rainstorm was definitely in the air. Comforted by this thought, as at least soon there would be the thud of raindrops to compete with the blasted woman's endless droning.
Soon after the butler's wish was granted and the rain began to slate down from the sky, so fast and heavy he could scarcely see more than a few feet out of the window. As if in agreement with his thoughts the carriage slowly came to halt as the driver decided it was safer to wait for it to pass before continuing. Yet the snoozing Mrs Diggins remained oblivious, as did their housekeeper who carried on regardless.
Settling back in his chair the butler closed his eyes and enjoyed the relative soothing sensation of the clatter on his abused ears. He was just drifting off when he practically had the wind knocked out of him as several pounds of housekeeper, petticoats and sampler landed practically in his lap.
"Mrs Ryan." He gasped as loudly as he could despite the winding.
"What?" The housekeeper asked glancing round at him, her voice far louder then he was expecting as she practically bellowed in his poor ear. "I was rained on…" She added pointing at the now constant drip drip of rainwater that was leaking through the entire length of the roof on her side.
"It must be the seal!" The butler mused quietly.
"Eh?" Flora asked before realising and reaching under her bonnet removing what appeared to be two plugs of cotton. "That's better what did you say?"
"The seal…Oh so that's how you were managing to stay sane?" The Butler trailed off, relieved that one mystery was at least solved and resolving to adopt the housekeeper's method of torture survival at the next available stop. "Now if you would kindly move…"
"I am not going back over there I'll be soaked through…"
"Well why not move opposite?" The Butler argued nodding towards the seat that had the oblivious Mrs Diggins sprawled across it.
"And where I suppose do you suggest I sit on the window ledge perhaps?"
Snorting in amusement the Butler quickly suppressed his humour at her wry comment. "Just push her up a bit…" He suggested meeting Flora Ryan's look of disbelief.
"You know a gentleman would offer me his seat?"
"Oh really then where would I sit…On the floor or Mrs Diggins knee perhaps?"
"Now you are being ridiculous!" Flora snorted. "Either you move or I am staying where I am."
"I am not moving."
"Fine then!"
"Fine!" Walter snapped back childishly, his nerves already in shreds, refusing to give an inch of ground to this infuriating woman. Yet he had not anticipated her shifting to sit more fully on his lap, her back moving to lean against the side of the carriage so her legs lay across his, one delicate boot wedged against the opposite wall to keep her securely in place.
"I imagine the rain will stop soon!" The Butler muttered confidently, watching as the housekeeper chose to ignore him as if he hadn't spoken and continue with her needlework. "You will move back when it does won't you?" He asked tentatively concern now setting in that she intended to crush him all the way to Brighton. Although if he was being honest she wasn't really crushing him, she hardly weighed anything, it was the lack of personal space that was bothering him, closing his eyes he tried to block out the feeling, he hadn't been this close to anybody since…
His mind suddenly gave him a very detailed flashback of the last time he had been this close to a woman, a certain trip to Bristol if he remembered correctly, and he stifled a groan that was certainly not the thing to be thinking about when he had Flora Ryan lying all over him. Yet now it was in his head he found it impossible to think of anything else, the glimpses of white shoulders and heaving bosoms, of a throaty female chuckle and that heady feeling of intoxicating pleasure. Had she been a blonde, red head or brunette? He couldn't be sure; his mind was providing images of black ringlets against alabaster skin but that could just have been a product of his rather fevered imagination. Ringlets that he just wanted to run his fingers through and draw their owner down for a lengthy passionate kiss before rolling her over and…
His eyes suddenly shot open he did not just imagine what he thought he did? Looking anywhere but at the woman who was shifting on his lap he tried to block that thought permanently from his mind, yet the image of a familiar face contorting in pleasure under him simply refused to be banished and his body was reacting accordingly.
"Mr Jarvis." The housekeeper's low and tense voice suddenly filled the carriage.
Blushing bright red in embarrassment the Butler fought to meet her eye, if it was not so mortifying he would have had to fight the urge to burst out laughing at her pale almost terrified expression.
"I didn't mean…Men do not have much control over these things…" He managed to gasp, barely stifling a gasp when a panicking Flora shifted again making the situation worse with her rocking movement.
"Sit still you are making things worse."
"It can get worse?" She hissed.
As if her words were the clap of doom it was that precise moment that both the driver decided to start moving and with a loud snort Mrs Diggins woke from her long sleep. Her eyes widening suddenly when she caught sight of the butler and housekeeper.
"The roof." They both suddenly blurted out pointing to the leaking spot and soaked carriage seat.
"I see…Well you can squeeze in next to me Mrs Ryan if you prefer?"
"No." The butler suddenly insisted his hand latching tightly onto Flora's arm, if she got up now it would be humiliating for them both.
"Why not?" Mrs Diggins asked bemused.
"Yes Mr Jarvis why not?" The housekeeper hissed glaring daggers at the butler who was struggling to both think and control himself; the rocking movement of the carriage was certainly not helping matters.
"Because of the draft and leak on that side…You remember the window doesn't shut properly and we cannot have our housekeeper catching a chill."
"Yes but this is most improper."
"What is a little embarrassment when compared to someone's health?" Walter countered, relieved, as the lady's maid seemed to accept this and settle back down to doze once more.
"Oh my embarrassment is fine?" Flora hissed testily once she was sure the maid had drifted off again. "This wouldn't have happened if you could control yourself…Can't you do something?"
"I've already tried everything I know…All except one and that is hardly an option now is it?" He countered biting down on his lip stifling a groan. "Damn it woman you are not helping stop wiggling!"
"Oh so now it is all my fault?"
"Yes actually it is, you sprawled yourself all over me, I am as red blooded as the next man Mrs Ryan just because I am a butler does not mean I am chiselled from stone and your endless sniping about it is not helping matters any!""
"I was trying to take your mind off of…" She paused blushing furiously as her mind was forced to even momentarily consider that part of his anatomy.
"It is not working…I doubt much will at this point!" He snapped back, unable to resist pondering just how far over her body her blush had spread.
"I should have known savages the lot of you!" She snorted her entire posture rigid and screaming her lack of amusement. "A flash of petticoat…"
"Oh yes I remember quite well from your last lecture on the subject…Savage brutes responsible for all the ill in the world, going around willy-nilly debauching you poor innocent women at the slightest provocation! Well you'll forgive me if I think your world view is somewhat naive and simplistic, women are certainly not the innocent creatures they make out and we men are pawns in their games most of the time…You flash us a petticoat get us all worked up then think a mere kiss should come with a proposal of marriage."
"Oh and you would prefer a more free and relaxed approach to relationships I suppose? This…" She paused waving her hand vaguely at their situation, "would be perfectly normal and acceptable in your perfect world."
"Hardly!" The butler scoffed watching in frustration as the housekeeper smirked thinking she had won the discussion. So he spat out without thinking. "In my perfect world, your mouth would be more agreeably engaged and we wouldn't have a potential audience!"
Turning her head sharply to catch his gaze the housekeeper was literally stunned to silence, her mouth had dropped open in shock and for a moment the butler mentally kicked himself for going too far. This was Flora Ryan, of course she was going to be disgusted, and yet as he studied her carefully he began to re-evaluate a few things. The deep blush that stained her cheeks had spread to her neck and disappeared under the high lace collar of her dress, the bodice of which appeared to be under strain as she breathed heavily.
Taking his life literally in his hands he reached up and gently brushed his fingers along her cheek teasing the stray curls and wondering at their softness before tracing the curve of her earlobe then down her exposed throat, stifling a groan when a flustered Flora swallowed heavily. Drawn to the lace edging of her collar he lent up slowly his lips instinctively finding the sensitive pulse point in the curve of her throat. Nuzzling into her silky soft skin he let his fingers do their own exploring down the smooth plane of her back which arched under his caress bringing the rest of her body into sudden hot contact with his own, the curve of her breast fitting neatly above his chest so he could pulled her closer. Savouring her muted whimpers he quickly threaded his spare hand into her hair, tilting her head down so he could lean up and capture her mouth. At first hesitant he brushed his lips gently against hers waiting for permission to continue, which she gladly gave turning into his arms her hands wrapped deftly around his shoulders as he deepened the kiss.
Breaking away for breath, the pair panted foreheads resting against each other as the butler took a glance across at their other travelling companion who thank the gods remained oblivious to their actions, her reassuring snores filling the air. "Dear God Flora, are you trying to kill me?" The butler moaned as the housekeeper nipped playfully at his ear.
"Well it would be one way of punishing you!" She chuckled huskily her laughter tickling his ear.
"Punishing me whatever for?"
"Oh you've been a very naughty boy." She retorted leaning over to place brief kisses along his jaw.
"As opposed to the saintly behaviour you are exhibiting of course." He retorted grasping her jaw firmly and bringing her down for another mind-blowing kiss.
"Exactly." Flora scoffed poking him warningly in the chest. "Why just take a look at yourself Mr Jarvis unable to control…"
"I think I am in as much control as is humanly possible." He groaned his hands moving to her waist to try and still her movements. "You are certainly not helping things?"
"Oh really I thought I was?" Flora countered deliberately rocking against him.
"Flora…." He growled, gritting his teeth.
"Well one way or another…" She countered twisting his words from earlier. "I'd rather not be stuck in this carriage all night!"
"I don't know it does hold some attraction." He muttered his hands moving southward from her waist.
"Walter!"
"Oh now we're getting prudish." He teased. "And to think I could have sworn just a moment ago you were offering to lend me a hand." He added lewdly, revelling in the blush that returned to her cheeks. "Don't tell me I've shocked you?"
However the housekeeper never had the chance to answer.
"Whoa…" The carriage was slowly coming to a halt, panicking the pair stared out of the window at the streets and houses that were rolling by.
"Oh my god!" The butler choked out catching Flora's eye his panic reflected clearly in hers as their carriage came to an stop in front of an inn and the publican came hurrying out to open the doors and usher in their guests.
"Oh Madam…" He gushed offering Flora his hand to step down from the carriage, for a moment she paused glancing back at the horrified butler. Unable to contain a rather evil smirk she accepted the landlord's hand but at the moment before she stepped out of the carriage she bent and retrieved her fallen sampler. Tossing it back towards the butler, she quirked an eyebrow her gaze lingering on his tight trousers before she turned and swept into the inn.
Clutching the scrap of material like a lifeline Jarvis watched as the rest of the staff hurried inside, leaving him alone with the still snoring Mrs Diggins. It was then inspiration struck, stuffing the sampler into his pocket he tugged his overcoat tightly round himself and edged backwards out of the carriage, half carrying half dragging a now waking Mrs Diggins with him.
"Come along Mrs Diggins…" He muttered pushing her along in front of him the perfect human shield intending to dart away to the privy at the earliest convenience. Pushing the startled lady into the door as quickly as he could he whirled away sighing in relief at having made so complete a getaway.
"Really Walter I didn't think that well rounded lady's maids were your type!" An all-together too smug heavily accented voice called out from the doorway.
Blushing furiously the butler tightened his hold on his coat pushing past the Chef back into the rain suddenly the need to cool down seemed most appealing.
"Was it something I said?"
But the butler didn't answer instead he thrust his hands into his pockets and stormed off to be alone, but before he had gone more than three steps his fingers closed around a scrap of material. Bringing it out he marvelled at the skill and delicacy of the stitches, bringing it to his face he caught an aroma of roses and fresh bread clinging to the fabric. That seemed most appropriate somehow, then hearing a rap on the window pane he turned back ignoring the rain that ran down inside his collar, smiling as he saw the a fuming Flora Ryan wave him inside before he caught his death her sternest Mrs Ryan face on. Snorting in amusement he quickly made his way inside, it was nice to see that some things would never change!
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