- - -
It was late, he was tired and still the problems kept coming.
Rubbing his furrowed brow Walter Corey the esteemed Butler of Taplows tried to push away the headache that threatened and listen to what the innkeeper was telling him.
"You haven't enough rooms?"
Nodding energetically the poor man rung his hands on his dirty apron. "Yes indeed, that is what I have been trying to tell everyone but no one seems to be listening…The young Queen is visiting the town you see and so everyone who is anyone has descended and well we are fully booked out."
"I know that you blithering idiot!" Jarvis snapped reluctantly accepting that his headache was here to stay and so he may as well turn his foul temper to his advantage. "Why on earth do you think we are here? For the pleasantness of these surroundings?" He added sarcastically waving his hands at the cramped and dirty inn. "However we did write and reserve our rooms and you confirmed that in writing!"
"Ahhh…" This was obviously the man's salient point as he rummaged around on his desk before pulling out a rather smudged letter. "Here it clearly says beds for seven see see!" He added waving the spoiled note under the butler's nose.
Scowling Jarvis snatched the very same letter that he had written all those weeks ago. "That's a nine!"
"It may have meant to be a nine but looks like a seven!" The innkeeper insisted puffing up his chest.
"And you haven't any spare beds…A spare broom cupboard perhaps?"
Shaking his head the innkeeper quickly found something far more interesting than the butler to occupy his time and so beat a quick retreat back into the bar. Fingering the three bedroom keys Jarvis tried a quick mental rearrangement of the staff he had, five footmen, an under butler, chef, housekeeper and himself….
Well obviously Mrs Ryan had to have a room all by herself. So walking along the twisted corridors he opened each room in turn settling on room number nine for the housekeeper it was the smallest with only one bed set against the far wall. They had only one large room with five assorted bed's which would do for the footmen and Mr Adams, a few of them would have to double up but it was better than sleeping in the stable. That left room six which was practically identical to the first on the opposite side of the corridor, again only one bed but he and Felix could top and tail. It was one of the few times he actually regretted not becoming a valet instead of a butler as at least they went wherever their master stayed, and despite having to endure the odious Mrs Diggins at the Royal the prospect of a comfy bed for the night was more than tempting. Sighing to himself he wandered back downstairs to inform the assorted staff of the new arrangements he expected huffs and perhaps a small tantrum from Felix but it would only be for the night as tomorrow come hell or high water he would find additional accommodation.
- - -
"I think this arrangement stinks!" Felix Kraus moaned for the umpteenth time into his mug of ale earning him amused glances from the footmen but elicited a grunt of annoyance from the butler.
"There is no other way Felix!" Jarvis snapped back, it taking all of his butlery restraint not the reach over and strangle the chef who every five minutes moaned about their current situation. "It is not ideal…"
"How come Mr Adams gets his own bed whilst I have to share?"
"You wannae sleep in a room with this bunch of toe rags?" Adams snorted in bemusement as he thumbed at the footman. "Frederick snores like a wee choo-choo train and as for William he whines like a baby…Calling out for his mummy dearest!" He added in a patronising tone causing the first footman to blush like a schoolboy.
"Indeed really there is no other way!" Jarvis insisted before the Chef could decide that sharing with the footman was actually preferable and so landed him with Andrew Adams as a bunkmate.
"Mrs Ryan gets her own room." Felix muttered sulkily.
"Yes for obvious reasons!" The butler spat back surprised when the chef shot him a knowing look.
"And some not so obvious ones perhaps?" Felix mumbled just loud enough for the butler alone to hear it.
Glaring at the chef Walter had to bite back a suitable cutting remark when the lady in question suddenly interrupted their little party. "I've come to bid you goodnight gentlemen. It has been a long day and very tiring…it's surprising how exhausting a long carriage ride can be."
"I don't doubt it!" Felix muttered sulkily and from the sudden flush of the housekeeper's cheeks Walter knew she had caught it and the obvious implication.
"Sorry Mr Kraus I didn't quite…" Flora snapped her eyes narrowing as she faced down the petulant chef.
"I was agreeing with you Mrs Ryan…All that bouncing about quite exhausting, from what I hear I am not surprised that you'd want to rush off to bed after the day you've had…I just hope you get a good night sleep, these sea side inns well they're infamous for pests crawling about at night disturbing good people's sleep and keeping one awake!"
Glancing across at the butler for support a now fuchsia Flora Ryan huffed in annoyance as Walter had suddenly found the tabletop fascinating and was staring at it as though his life depended on it. "I will keep your advice in mind Mr Kraus and arm myself with something heavy to ward off those pests you mentioned…Anything disturbing my sleep will get a sound thrashing."
"I am delighted to hear it Mrs Ryan!" The chef countered. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight Mr Kraus…Mr Jarvis…" She added lingering in the hope the butler would glance up from his study of the table and meet her eye reassure her that it was not he who had revealed their secret, but instead he mumbled goodnight and concentrated on downing his ale. Huffing in annoyance the housekeeper stomped off and they could hear her storming up the stairs before a definite slam of a bedroom door was heard.
"Did I say something wrong?" Felix asked half an hour later when the butler continued to ignore him, now genuinely confused as his numerous glasses of ale continued to dull his senses.
Gritting his teeth the butler quickly refilled his glass downing it quickly, trying to push the memory of Flora's angry and disappointed face from his mind. He should have said something…Stood up for her…Or at least diverted Felix's attack on to himself. Instead he had wallowed in his own embarrassment and now he doubted she would forgive him, she probably thought he had been bragging to the chef about his new conquest and that was how he had found out. There was only one possible solution, get totally trashed then deal with both her and Felix in the morning.
- - -
He was drunk…He was completely pissed.
Staggering the butler collided with the wall narrowly missing pushing a rather merry Felix Kraus down the stairs.
"Walter!"
"S'not my fault…Floor's uneven.."
Pushing the butler along the Chef fumbled with his key, surprised when the door handle he was trying suddenly opened and a furious Flora Ryan stood in the doorway.
"Flora?" Walter exclaimed in delight pushing past the chef to pull the surprised housekeeper into his arms. "What a lovely surprise…Naughty thing…Back to your own room now!" He muttered leaning in for a quick kiss as his hands slid down from the housekeeper's waist.
"You utter b…" He started but the butler's insistent and haphazard attempts to find her mouth finally found their target and the housekeeper was subjected to a rather sloppy drunken kiss. Stamping down hard on his foot Flora pushed the unstable Walter back into Felix's arms. "This my room you drunken idiots…See there is yours Number 6!" She snapped pointing at the opposite door where quite clearly there was a small metal number tapped on precariously with a single nail.
"Sorry Mrs Ryan!" Felix squeaked clearly terrified and traumatised from witnessing their momentary clinch. "I'll get him settled I promise," and with that he dragged a grinning and waving Walter through their door.
However despite Felix's best efforts the butler simply refused to remain as settled he would like, getting him into his nightshirt had been an exercise in incredulity, then the butler had insisted on relieving himself but had been barely able to stand let alone aim and so Felix hoped that was one memory their morning hangovers would rob them both of. Now he was shifting about wriggling like cat in a sack.
"Stop Walter!" Felix huffed punching his pillow and trying to get to sleep.
"Need water…Feel sick."
"No you don't…" Felix muttered sleepily, and soon the chef's snores could be heard gently reverberating through the room.
However the chef's assurance had only temporarily calmed the butler, and after an hour or so of drifting in and out of consciousness the butler decided that he really did need that glass of water and possibly some dry bread as well. So swinging himself out of bed he staggered over and picked up his dressing gown and staggering only slightly made his way downstairs to locate the necessary items.
An hour later and a slightly soberer but now very sleepy Walter made his way back up the stairs, yawning he scanned the doors for the number six his now more rational mind dismissing the drunken fancy that it been on the opposite side of the corridor earlier. Pushing the door open he caught sight of Felix sleeping soundly and anxious not incur the chef's ire again in one evening he crept silently over to the bed and slipped back in under the covers. However it didn't take long for him to realise when his head landed on an empty mattress that his pillow had vanished. Glaring up Felix's end of the bed he noticed the vagabond had seemingly snatched it while he had been absent.
Huffing in annoyance the butler sat up suddenly and pushing the chef's long dark hair off of his pillow he gave it a yank pulling out from under the sleeping man's head. However despite the chef's feminine tendencies the decidedly girly scream was a little too feminine and familiar to be Felix.
"Flora!" It came out in a decidedly high pitch squeak. "I can explain…A simple misunderstanding…"
However the housekeeper now roused from sleep seemed determined to not only alert the entire household but also batter him senseless with a handy copy of Great Expectations. Thinking quickly the butler leapt into action grabbing the book with one hand he narrowly avoided being clonked round the head and covering the housekeeper's mouth with the other he silenced her before she could take another lungful.
Squirming about furiously the housekeeper seemed insensible to his attempts to calm her, and Walter had to admit that the situation hardly was in his favour and so perhaps pinning her to the bed had not been the most sensible way of assuring her of the honourable nature of his intentions.
"It was a mistake I got the wrong room…"
The raised eyebrow and 'yeah right' look Flora shot him showed him just what she thought to that little explanation not to mention the rather delightful sensation of Flora squirming beneath him was having on his own self-control. Soon no matter what he said there would be definite evidence to contradict him.
"Look I am going to take my hand away…You have to promise not to scream. I give you my word I am not here to seduce you!"
Snorting against his hand Flora waited for the butler to remove the hand before taking a deep breath.
"No screaming!"
"I wasn't going to…I was just trying to rid myself of the stench of your hand!" Flora snapped. "So you're not here to ravage me?"
"No." Walter insisted. "I went downstairs for a glass of water…I was somewhat parched…" He paused when Flora sniggered evilly.
"You were drunk Mr Jarvis." The housekeeper countered. "Come now let us be honest and call things by their proper names it makes things clearer!"
"I went down for a glass of water…Then I came back up and the door well your room has a six on as well!"
"A likely story." Flora snorted rolling her eyes as she tried to relinquish her hand from butler's grasp.
"It's the truth…." Walter insisted.
"You expect me to believe that story…An accident lands you in my bed, tonight of all nights!"
True Walter had to admit it sounded preposterous. He wouldn't have believed it either if someone told him that cock and bull story. "It's the truth." He muttered softly. "I made a mistake."
"Oh." Flora replied and for a moment the butler actually caught a flicker of disappointment in her voice. "Another mistake…I see."
"No…Not another…The first mistake I assure you."
"Oh now you assure me." Flora snapped bitterly.
"Flora." Walter muttered softly. "I don't regret anything that is happening between us."
"Of course not you enjoyed bragging about it to your friends too much!"
"I didn't tell Felix...He...Well he came upon me just after we had alighted at the inn and well drew his own conclusions."
"Oh."
"Oh indeed." Walter added smiling as she calmed down and he no longer expected her to leap out screaming, settling down on the bed beside her he reached out and caught her hand threading their fingers together before bringing her knuckles up to his lips. "Forgiven?" He asked looking up from under lowered lids as he placed delicate kisses across her knuckles.
"Oh Walter…" She sighed softly resting her head against his warm broad shoulder smiling as he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. "I'm sorry I hit you…with the book."
"No harm done. You only hit me round the head." Walter jovially retorted noting how easily she slipped into his arms.
"I shouldn't have reacted like that it was childish."
"You were angry and besides it could have been anyone you weren't to know…However in future you might wish to lock your door…" The butler trailed off as realisation suddenly struck him, she hadn't locked her door; the ever-cautious Flora Ryan hadn't locked her door. "You just forgot I suppose?"
It was the lack of answer that surprised him and glancing down he caught sight of the blush gracing her cheeks even in the dim moonlight. "You didn't just forget…You thought I'd…and you left it unbolted…You…You…" The butler gasped in astonishment as an embarrassed Flora buried her face in his shoulder.
For a moment they both lay there unsure of what to do or say then having made up his mind the Butler swung his legs out of bed and started towards the door.
"Walter wait I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you…" Flora began her plea cut off when the Butler simply stopped at the door instead of walking through it and deliberately turned the key in the lock before sliding the bold across for good measure before turning back to the startled housekeeper.
"Oh my." Flora swallowed when he then practically leapt back into bed with her his hands suddenly everywhere at once her next words cut off when the suddenly very awake Butler proceeded to kiss her senseless. "But what about Felix?"
"I'm not inviting him to join us." The butler muttered as he endeavoured to get her out of her nightdress.
"That was not what I meant!" Flora replied huffily crossing her arms over her chest and thereby impeding him amiably. "He'll know!"
Snorting in frustration Walter turned his attention to her oh so sensitive neck and within a few minutes he had successfully driven all thoughts of Felix Kraus, along within any other rational argument, completely from her mind. Muttering in her ear as he teased it mercilessly he added finally. "Believe me love by the time I am through the whole damn inn will know!"
- - -