Chapter Eleven

Soda and Ponyboy came striding into the kitchen, with Darry right behind them. I smiled shakily, trying to get myself under control again. This was scaring me a little, all this loose emotion rattling around inside me. Normally I'm a girl of iron-clad composure, my facial expressions never betraying whatever my actual feelings might be. Here things were all over the place. I dug my fingernails into my palms and silently counted ten, and was rewarded by the feeling of my calm mask settling back over my features. There.

"You okay now?" Ponyboy whispered to me as all three brother sat down at the table.

"Perfectly fine, thank you," I replied, squeezing his hand. I turned to Darry then and asked curiously, "Now what is this all about?"

"You didn't ask her yet?" Soda said, grinning, to Darry.

Darry shook his head and smiled a little. "Wanted you guys to be here." He looked at me then, and I felt apprehension rise as he said quietly, "Mia, we'd really like it if you came and stayed with us awhile."

I froze, unable to speak, or even move. Darry continued, "You have that long break from school now, right? Well, why don't you come stay here for that, and then maybe in the middle of December you can decide if you want to stay more permanently."

Permanently? It was like the bottom had dropped out of my stomach. The three of them were all looking at me, waiting. I caught sight of Ponyboy's hopeful face and closed my eyes briefly.

"Mia?" Soda asked, looking concerned as he reached out and laid one hand on my arm. "You okay, honey? We didn't want to upset you or anything-"

I shook my head, trying to clear it at the same time. "No. No, I'm fine." I stood up abruptly. "Would you excuse me, please? I think I need a little fresh air." Darry nodded, looking at me strangely, and I turned and left the room, going through the living room and slipping onto the front porch.

The night was cool, with stars glittering like ice on the black velvet sky. I sat down on the front steps as I tilted my face up to the stars.

What were they thinking, asking me to do this? I couldn't possibly leave New York. My entire life was there. Greg was there. My friends, my school, my life. My wonderful fairy-tale life that the papers hailed as perfect. All my memories of Risa were there! This brought up all sorts of feelings: it wasn't even six months that I had lost her. How would she feel if I just traded our life and our family in for a new one?

And to leave all that—for this? This tiny house in a horrible neighborhood, these rough people and this life? The noise and sheer indignity of it?

But that wasn't all that this place was. I glanced through the screen door, which afforded a clear view of the living room. There was noise there, yes. Chaos, actually. And something else, a cozy close-knit feeling that touched some deeply-buried need in myself I hadn't even known existed.

I crept down to the lawn and lay out on the chilly grass. My eyes on the stars again, I wished for a different time—when I was younger and things weren't so complicated.

The squeak of the screen door's hinges brought me back to reality, although I didn't sit up. And as it turned out I didn't have to. Ponyboy crossed the lawn to lie down next to me on the grass.

"You like watching stars too, huh?" he said softly after awhile.

"Yes. It's something my mother and I used to do," I replied, startled at how natural this felt.

"Really?" Ponyboy turned his head to glance at me. "I've never done this with anyone before. No one really gets it, 'cept maybe Johnny."

"We didn't do this in New York. You can't see stars like this in the city. But in Egypt we stargazed all the time."

"Egypt?" Ponyboy exclaimed, sounding amazed.

I grinned a little. "Even back when I was younger, my mom had a few health problems, mainly with her lungs. Her doctors told her to get out of New York for the winter, so we also had a house in Cairo, where we spent January till about April every year. Gorgeous place, I still have it. There's this roof terrace, like most houses in Cairo, and we'd stretch out on a couch up there and watch the night sky till I fell asleep."

"That sounds incredible. Did you get to see mummies and stuff?"

"Sure," I replied, giggling. "Risa really liked Egyptology and all that. I think if she hadn't been born a socialite she would have been an archaeologist or something."

"Your mom sounds really cool," Ponyboy remarked.

"She was, yes. Very." I swallowed, the old familiar pain in my chest, but happy to be talking about her like this-- about the happy times, not the sad ones. "Hey, Ponyboy?"

"Yeah?" He propped himself up on one elbow to look at me.

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and said, very softly, "Do you think maybe you could tell me a little bit about your parents?"

Ponyboy looked surprise, but then smiled and lay back down next to me. It was a few moments before he spoke.

"Dad wasn't like anyone else I've ever met. Crazy and laughing all the time, kinda wild. Looked exactly like Darry though, real handsome. A lot of people thought they were brothers. Taught us all how to play football, taught Soda about cars. He was just a lot of fun. Always took care of the family, and did everything he could for Mom."

Ponyboy paused and cleared his throat. I knew how hard this must be for him, because my eyes were filling up too.

"Mom was…she was Mom. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen, kept the house pretty and raised us kids. She could make anyone smile. Even Dallas." Pony's head was right next to mine, and I could feel his tears dripping into my hair. He sat up without looking at me and whispered, "They both loved you a lot."

I sat up too, brushing the tears from my eyes as I kept them on the stars. Suddenly, and to my complete surprise, Ponyboy flung his arms around me, pressing his face into my shoulder. Feeling touched and awkward at the same time, I wrapped my arms around him and just held him. A surge of protectiveness hit me, and in that moment, for the first time, I felt like a sister.

"Shhh," I whispered, stroking his back. "It's all right. Everything's going to be all right." It was so nice to be needed again. Risa had depended on me for so much support during her sickness, especially towards the end. I had taken care of her just like she had taken care of me my whole life. Then afterwards, there'd been no one. Just me in that huge apartment rattling around, empty day following empty day.

Eventually he pulled away and wiped his eyes, looking rather embarrassed. I just nodded and gave him a half-smile, to let him know I understood.

"So are you going to come live with us?" he asked, cocking his head. "Because we'd all really like that. And—and you look like you could use a family right now."

I giggled inside at his way of putting it, but instead replied, slowly, "I suppose I will. For my vacation, anyway."

Ponyboy grinned and, jumping up, extending one hand to pull me to my feet. I followed him inside, feeling unsettled and unsure of myself.

The normal turbulence was inside the living room. Soda and Steve had joined Johnny's poker game and were having a loud argument over who knew what. Two-Bit had the TV turned up really loud and Darry was reading the paper. But they all glanced up when Ponyboy walked in.

"You two okay?" Darry asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Yes," I blurted out. He nodded and went back to his paper, and I realized he'd misunderstood me.

"I mean, yes. As in, you know. Yes," I clarified, not knowing how else to phrase it. Darry and Soda both stared at me for a moment, then they got it.

"You're really gonna do it?" Soda said, a grin spreading over his face. "You're gonna stay with us?"

"For vacation anyway," I replied. He whooped and gave me a big hug, then picked me up and whirled me around before tossing me down on the couch. Darry hadn't said anything, but there was a look of quiet happiness on his face as he came over and kissed my forehead.

I was feeling scared and apprehensive at the thought of what was to come—but excited. Things were going to change for awhile. A lot.

But I could handle it. It wasn't like this was permanent. I'd stay a month, get to know these people, learn what I needed about my heritage and background, then say goodbye and get back to my life.

A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Mine was fabulous, very busy, which is why this update took a little longer than usual. Thanks go per usual to my amazing wonderful reviewers- you are magnificent, darlings!

Please keep the reviews coming, and have a splendid night!