The Book of Athanasius

Chapter 7

"The days after and the night before"

"When I awoke the next day I was greeted with a very welcomed sight, Vain's smiling face. The grin extended from ear to ear and seemed to say she was overwhelmed with joy at the fact that I had sta…I'm sorry. As you can probably guess, that last part was somewhat of a fib, just a teasing of good nature and its kin you understand. If in any way you started to believe that lie, then I assure you somewhere I am currently having a laugh at your expense. Deceit aside, let us forget that last bit and let me try this again…couldn't even write it with a straight face anyway…

A bucketful of freezing water can end one's sleep very quickly though I'm still not sure what felt colder, the water or Vain's sadistic looking grin. She certainly did look glad to see me, but the reason behind it was definitely sinister in nature.

I wished for strength. I wished for skill. I wished for power. Vain seemed determined to make me wish I never stayed. After the rude awakening, which she called a 'morning bath,' Vain immediately set out to turn me and Silus into beasts of physical greatness. I never laughed back then, but now I think it's rather amusing. In order for her to give us strength she had to first rip it away with the most brutal of chores. She wasn't completely without mercy though. Should we struggle or stray from the task at hand, she would give us a brief respite by laying us out with a single blow from fist or foot. I soon learned that a blow to the head worked just as well as any words of encouragement and that the harder she hit, the more time there was to rest.

I thought my first fight with Vain was challenging, but the ones that followed showed me exactly how much of a fool I was. The strains of the day would leave me with very little strength, the mere act of lifting my sword requiring a supreme summoning of will. Silus faired no better and we both fought with the fear of death firmly embedded in our minds. Unfortunately, I had the knowledge that it was only my life that was on the line.

It was obvious she went easy on us, but even then we still walked away with our fair share of cuts and bruises. How well we performed could be seen by how bloodstained our clothes were as the vanishing sunlight brought an end to another horrid day.

During the night, Vain would deliver to me more threats and curses. The things she would whisper into my ear were some of the most cruel, bloody, and dare I say creative ways to die. If I had the foresight in knowing the outcome of my stay I would've taken notes.

Her words were supposed make me flee in terror, yet that grin of hers would always be the first thing I'd see in the morning. Though her happiness might've been caused by my suffering, it was still because of me that she expressed joy. I believed there was some form of gratification in that.

What Silus and I had to endure did not go entirely unrewarded. Each day that passed was slightly different then its predecessor. Our chores would go by just a little bit faster or our swords would feel a little bit lighter in our hands. Pretty soon we found ourselves with the strength to give Vain somewhat of a challenge.

We were changing, both in strength and in skill. We had figured out that in each of Vain's insults was a lesson to be learned and we made sure that if mistakes were made, they were made once and only once. It wasn't long before we managed to end a day unscathed. Pride was something Vain stripped away from us but, whether she meant to or not, that night she gave it back tenfold.

Sadly… that was the only time we slept without the addition of any new scars. After that, Vain no longer spat insults at us and kept herself in uncomfortable silence during combat. In a sick and twisted way this ceased what help we ever had from her. She was certain to never let us have it easy… her lessons always had to be learned the hard way.

I can't seem to remember how long this routine went on. At that age I had no idea what half a season was, but I'm sure if someone told me I would've called them a liar.

Though time seemed to flicker past, the changes of the world did not go by unnoticed. The sun had started to shine brighter then ever and its blistering heat stayed with us well into the night. It was during such a night that we received our first visitor.

I couldn't see what this beast looked like, but I knew for certain it was there. When you hear the approaching footsteps of a possible murderer every night, any other sound will ring out loud and clear.

The visitor didn't get very far into the clearing before encountering Vain's 'hospitality'. Luckily, whatever he managed to gurgle out in those first few moments had saved him from a very painful death. Several whispers were soon exchanged. I strained to hear their words, but the conversation ended rather quickly. The visitor left and Vain moved to deliver her latest morbid fantasy to my young ears.

She made it about halfway before stopping. I at first thought that this was some new form of torment, making me wait and writhe in the agony of anticipation…that is…until I heard her turn around and head back into her tent. There were no threats that night, nor was there any sleep for me.

The next day she immediately forced us into a run through the forest. Her pack she had tied around her should have been a dead giveaway, but it took me quite sometime before I realized Vain had no intention of turning around and heading back.

I had no idea where she was taking us or why. The simple solution to this problem would've been to ask, but the bruises on my body were proof of Vain's tolerance for unwanted questions. Silus's silence told me he knew the same.

She ran us till sundown without so much as a word. Our path had appeared to be erratic and random, but the way she eyed the forest around us told me she knew precisely where she was, and where we were headed.

We slept where we stopped. The day long trek had left me and Silus too tired to question the reason behind it. When we woke she handed us our swords, though they were no longer the rusted pieces of metal we had grown accustomed to. These were new, solid, and sharp. She had given us tools that had only one purpose, to kill. I should've felt safer…I had never felt more fearful…

It was the second night Athanasius had to use the smoother side of a tree as a bed. He lay starring deeply into the darkness. There was no fire to light his surroundings and the forest canopy kept what little moonlight there was at bay. Neither Vain nor Silus could be seen, but Athanasius still knew they were there.

Silus wasn't a particularly loud sleeper, but in the gentle silence of the forest his shallow breathing could be heard quite easily. "Stupidity has its gifts I guess," thought Athanasius. He had grown slightly envious of the wildcat's lack of worry and how finding sleep never seemed to be a problem with him.

Athanasius could never let such a vice come to him, however. For him, carelessness and foolishness would merely bring pain and death. It was Vain who embedded that truth firmly into his mind. He felt her eyes always on him, watching and waiting for just one reason to end his life. For half a season he managed to survive, but now he was at a complete loss. He had no idea where they were, where they were going, or why. This worried Athanasius to no end. How could his quick thinking save him if he knew nothing of what he was about to face?

There came a voice from the other side of the tree. "Why don't ya jus say wot's on yer mind? Ah know yer jus' diein' ta ask me bout our little trip here." It was Vain, always one step ahead.

Having little choice, Athanasius accepted her invitation. "Why are we 'ere," he asked, "Why did ya give us real weapons, huh? Are we goin' somewhere's we need em?"

Vain gave a small chuckle. Athanasius heard the sharp scraping sound of stone on steel. She was sharpening her blade. The young rat instinctively reached down and rested his hand on the handle of his own sword. Two days of neglect from Vain's attacks had left him almost wanting for a battle.

"Well…" Vain replied, "We're here cause this is as far as ah could run ya in two days. Ah gave ya real swords cause havin' two whelps carryin' useless hunks o steel would make me look bad. An' ah assure ya, there ain't no place safe enough ta go unarmed." Vain gave another chuckle.

He should've expected it. Athanasius's desperation had led to hope, something Vain is more then willing to tear to shreds for her own amusement. He gripped his sword tightly, wondering if he could swing it quickly enough to deal any kind of fatal blow to his tormenter.

He let go. Of course he couldn't. For all he knew it might've been exactly what Vain wanted. Leaning his head back, Athanasius wondered if he should try stupidity for a change.

Vain stopped her sharpening and let out an uneasy sigh. "Sorry bout that. Couldn't resist ya know?" She had done this before, from devil to friend in the blink of an eye. "Ya were brave enough ta ask me the right questions so ya deserve the right answers. A ways from here, at the forest's edge, is a small village of woodlanders…hares I think. Tis not very large, but it is well known." She resumed her sharpening. "We're here ta make sure that anyone livin' there will be dearly missed."

Those last words weren't meant to be cryptic. Athanasius knew exactly what she was saying. Still, a beast needing to be killed is a beast with a reason to be killed. He decided to risk another question. "Wot did they do?" he asked timidly.

Vain raised an eyebrow to his question. "Do? They didn't do anything. Tis some other bugger's foolishness that brings me ta them. All they did was be the first ones ta come ta mind."

Athanasius tried to imagine what the villagers looked like. He had seen hare slaves before but couldn't quite picture whole families of them. "Whole families," he thought, "Fathers…Mothers…Children…"

"Seems like rotten luck ta me," he said out loud, "So if they didn't do anythin' then who did?"

"Eh…" She acted as though it wasn't of any importance, "Some ol' hare that forgot who exactly rules this land. Ya see, Tyrus lets those he conquers pretty much do as they please…so long as they let his army do the same. Well, this daft bugger up an' decides he an' his kin aren't gonna let us have our spoils now that Tyrus is committed ta a hole. They ran out wot troops we had livin' wit em an' declared their land 'free'."

"So why doesn't Lord Dagrurt jus attack em instead?" Athanasius was still trying to make sense of the situation, forgetting who exactly he was asking. "Why do these innocent hares 'ere 'ave ta die?"

He turned his head to look over at Vain, but immediately pulled it back as her sword imbedded itself in the trunk of the tree. She was back to her normal self, from friend to devil in the blink of an eye. "Ah know ah jus didn't hear the word 'innocent' come from those pitiful little lips of yers." Removing the blade, she stood in front of Athanasius and placed its edge up against his neck. "Ya must've meant ignorant, cause that's all they'll ever be. As fer 'lord' Dagrurt, he knows exactly wot he's doin'. Takin' out this village will not only lead ta this hare's surrender, but will be a fittin' warnin' ta anybeast thinkin' ta do the same. These woodlanders…these goodbeasts…cherish things like honor, friendship, and love more then their own lives. That's how they lost this land in the first place."

His poor choice in words might've added another scar to his already battered body, but Athanasius never thought they would get him killed. He tried desperately to find a way out of this now deadly exchange of words. "Okay…If the death o' these 'ignorant' woodlanders is so important'n why are me an' Silus 'ere? Can't ya do it quicker without us?"

That all too familiar grin crept up Vain's face. "That's wot ah'm gonna find out. If ya hear any screams tonight, then the answer is yes. If not…ya best ready yerself fer a bloody tomorrow." She whipped her sword back into its sheath and, with steps no louder then a whisper, vanished into the forest.

Athanasius had no desire to wait for the 'answer'. When he assured himself Vain was no longer present, he moved to find a tree that wasn't quite as cleaved. Passing by Silus, he realized the young wildcat wasn't quite as oblivious as he had thought.

"I'm starting to believe that the legend of my uncle's killer might actually be true."

After spending half a season locked away in voluntary silence, Silus's sudden attempt at conversation was quite a shock for Athanasius. Quicker then a single breath, Athanasius had his sword drawn and trained on Silus. The young wildcat continued to talk, not knowing how close he came to an undesirable end. "Luck seems to favor those with thick heads and from what I just heard; your skull must weigh a ton."

Athanasius didn't understand some of Silus's words, but he knew an insult when he heard one. He wondered what Vain might do if she came back to find a very dead son of a warlord… Most likely something far less enjoyable then death, he figured. Humor appeared to be a wiser choice then anger. "If luck's wot gets me through 'nother day'n ah'll be as thick headed as ah can," he spouted back.

The retort did little to change Silus's attitude. "There's no need to amuse me any further with your childish quips. Please understand, I didn't mean you are an idiot all the time. Certainly not, since one of such low wits would never have lived as long as you have. It is just that sometimes your actions make you look quite foolish." Sitting up, Silus finally noticed how close he was to the rather sharp end of Athanasius's sword. "Heh, did you do this just to prove me right?"

Silus obviously wasn't frightened and since carrying out his threat would've merely brought about both their deaths, Athanasius angrily lowered his sword. "Ah don't care if ah look foolish ta ya. Ah do wot ah can ta stay alive!"

Silus's laughter told Athanasius he was still at the losing end of the argument. "I've heard better lies from beasts on the chopping block. If living is all you cared about then you would have ran away the first chance you got. No…you're here for the same reason I am...Power…We both want it and we know Vain is the one that can help us get it."

Silus couldn't have been more right, but Athanasius wasn't about to let him have the last word. "An' wot power do we git from killin' mother's an' babes?"

The young wildcat shook his head. "None…but what we do get is the makings of our own legend. Think about it. The tale of how you and I brought merciless justice to the insolent beasts of this village will be on the lips of every woodlander in the empire. They will carry fear in hearts for us and it's in that fear we will have our power!"

Athanasius took a couple steps back. The way Silus described a village massacre like a starving beast talks about his favorite three course meal was slightly frightening to the young rat.

"Don't you see?" he continued, "This isn't just some order handed down from my father to Vain. The ferret was going to give this to us as a gift…That is…" His voice grew dark with disgust, "Until you thought it would be a good idea to insult her pride. I find it very depressing that I now have to rely on the ferret's 'good nature' to keep these villagers very much alive tonight. Pardoning your ignorance, she very well might leave them for us to handle in the coming day."

Not wanting anything more to do with his bringer of disappointment, Silus laid himself back down. His arrogance still showed as his back was fearlessly presented. Athanasius stayed his hand and decided to find his own rest. The nearest tree proved to be suitable enough.

Once again the young rat starred deeply into the darkness. His mind slowly drifted to the village at the forest's edge. He couldn't quite understand why the thought of so many meeting their end brought with it a heavy heart. If he disobeyed Vain now, then all he went through would've been for naught…So why was he so hesitant?

He looked upward and noticed a small patch of moonlight dimly shining through the branches and leaves. So many things were uncertain, but he knew one thing was for sure. Whether by his hands or Vain's, this was to be the last night the villagers would ever see.

For me, death was around every corner. Yet that night, the thing that scared me the most was myself. If the coming day was truly to be a bloody tomorrow, as Vain had said, then I would be forced to choose between what I knew was right…and what I felt to be true.

I wished I had heard screams that night.