5.

Peeta woke up from his nightmare with a strangled scream, rolled off the couch to a crouch and stared at the unfamiliar shadows with no clue whatsoever as to where he was.

This wasn't his bedroom.

It wasn't his house.

The simmering disgust in his stomach made him even more dizzy and it was several wild seconds before he finally recognized the layout of Effie's living-room in the dark. He rubbed his face while his anarchic heartbeat slowed down to something a little less life threatening. He could taste bile at the back of his throat, his skin felt clammy and beads of cold sweat were running down his spine…

When he recalled the reason he was there in the first place, he felt like throwing up for real.

Slowly, he sat back down on the couch and forced himself to stay still, to listen in case he had woken up the woman with his wild thrashing and his muffled shouting.

The whole house was silent.

The silence had a peculiar quality to it, a different kind than the hush that fell at his own home at night, but then again, he supposed each house had its own rhythm. After several minutes, when it became clear Effie wouldn't come investigate, he let himself relax a little, wiped his sweaty face on his sleeve and switched on the light, unable to face the surrounding darkness.

He knew she meant well but she could be overwhelming and he didn't want to talk right then. He didn't want to rehash the whole abuse thing. He didn't want to hear about going to the police or pressing charges or whatever it was she wanted him to do. In his experience, his parents being who they were, it never paid out to talk about it. Accidents were accidents, no matter that they had happened on purpose or not. The Seam was a small town. Small towns had their own set of rules.

It wouldn't be that bad to stay at her place though…

He had been so jealous when Haymitch had taken Katniss and Prim in… Not outwardly, of course. He had been glad for his friends, happy that the girls would find something a little more stable than a mother who couldn't be bothered to get help and a crappy trailer but… A part of him had been deadly jealous because he would have given everything for…

Would his father go along with it? Would he let him stay with Effie? Could he impose on her like that? It was normal for Haymitch to want to take Katniss in, she was the Slayer, she was important… Perhaps the most important person on this planet but Peeta… Peeta was nobody and it wasn't right to add to their burden by…

And what if what had happened earlier happened again?

The Lachnoc demon had shined light on a part of his mind Peeta would have preferred to remain ignorant of. He had almost beaten Gale to a pulp, he had very nearly hurt Effie and now… Now that the fear demon's influence was supposed to be gone, he didn't seem to be able to shed that anger that had driven him to violence.

When his mother had raised her fist earlier all he had felt was fury. Its hot taste had filled his mouth, it had wrapped itself around him until his sight went red and he wanted to…

A shiver rocked his body. He was cold but he didn't think it was what had triggered the chill.

He couldn't live like that. Afraid of himself. Afraid he would hurt someone in a fit of anger. Afraid he would turn into his mother.

He couldn't.

It made him sick to the stomach to just think about it happening again. And yet he could still feel the anger deep down, simmering for now but ready to boil and overflow at a moments notice…

He couldn't live like that.

He didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want to…

His eyes darted around, fell on the ashtray and the empty glass of wine first and then on the books scattered around the living-room floor. She was such a neat freak – for something so full of colors, the house was always perfectly ordered – that the slight mess was incongruous and brought his rising panic to a stop. She must have been in the middle of doing researches when he had barged in on her.

So not only had he bothered her but he had also stopped her from doing something far more important than taking care of him was…

Something he should have been helping with in the first place instead of hiding from Katniss' worried gaze.

Guilt and shame and anger at his own stupidity swelled in his chest.

He grabbed the first book he found thinking he might as well try and find out something about the Reaping since he obviously wasn't going to go back to sleep. He opened the book at a random page and then froze because…

Magic.

Magic could take care of the problem for him. If he could make his anger vanish… If he could remove that monstrous part of himself his mother had passed unto him…

He wouldn't be dangerous then.

He would never accidentally hurt Katniss or Effie or even his own mother ever again.

He would be in complete control.

He would…

Magic always comes with a price, Effie's voice warned in his head.

But it might be a price he was willing to pay.

Slowly, he closed the book and carefully placed it on the coffee-table before standing up to inspect the IPad she had left on an armchair. There were books lining the shelves all around the living-room, of course, obscure old tomes and leather bound spell books, but it would take him forever to find what he was looking for when he knew she kept thousands of magic volumes on her tablet…

He brought it to life by pressing the button, happy to see it was an older model and didn't require her fingerprint. It didn't request any code either. It opened for him as if it was fate itself and he quickly tapped on the book app, staring down at the numerous books and PDFs.

He tried a few quick searches with anger management, uncontrollable wrath and emotions but it was the terms inner monster that brought out the most promising results. There were books about embracing your inner monster – that seemed to be about summoning some kind of demons – and he bypassed those quickly, eventually opening the one titled: Conquering Your Inner Monster: Get Rid Of Those Pesky Feelings.

He skimmed over the theoretical framework with a touch of excitement. This sounded exactly like what it needed. There were several spells aimed at dispelling some of someone's most disturbing emotions. There was a chapter entirely devoted to heartbreak that explained how to summon a vengeance demon – he scrolled quickly away from it, no demon sounded like a good idea – a couple of chapters about various memory spells and, last but not least, a dissociative spell.

Peeta read the description quickly and sighed in relief. This sounded perfect. The spell was supposed to take one's strongest feeling and banish it from one's mind, leaving the subject free of living the rest of their life without being annoyed by it again.

He didn't bother to read the footnotes, too relieved at the prospect of never being overcome by blind wrath again. There was a list of ingredients. He studied it attentively and then raided the cupboard where Effie kept her magical supplies – and because she was Effie Trinket, everything was perfectly organized and neatly labeled. He ignored the guilt, telling himself he would buy more or pay her back the next day, once he would be at peace and anger free.

He had been reading so much about magic and the occult in the last few months that following the instructions wasn't complicated at all. A little voice, at the back of his mind, whispered he was being an idiot and that Haymitch would be livid when he would find out and that there would be hell to pay if Effie figured it out but he crushed its objections in the bud because, after all, they never had to know.

He sprinkled the crushed salamander powder into a stone bowl, added the other stuff, lit the candle, uttered the Latin spell in a low voice that, he hoped, wouldn't carry upstairs, and then blew out the flame.

Nothing happened. Nothing felt different.

It figured.

There were several explanations, of course. Maybe he had gotten something wrong with the ingredients. Maybe he had butchered the Latin pronunciation.

Or maybe he simply had zero magical talent.

Effie had explained to him time and time again that anyone could do little spells but that it took power to do something a little more ambitious. Maybe this was too ambitious.

Stubbornly, he read the spell again, trying to stress new syllables, playing around with the sound of some words…

Afterwards, he wouldn't have been able to say how long the creature had been hunched in the corner, studying its prey, only that when it finally signaled its presence with a low growl, every hair on his body went up.

The beast had the form of a huge dog – huge as in the size of a small pony. Its fur was the exact same sandy shade of blond as Peeta's hair and its eyes… Its eyes were human. Worse. They were Peeta's eyes.

There was a feeling of wrongness as soon as he glimpsed the snarling monster.

When it pounced, all slobbering fangs, Peeta scrambled back with an instinctive shout, looking around for a weapon… The dog crashed on the coffee table that broke to smithereens under its weight, and immediately turned back to him, snapping his jaws…

There was no weapon around.

How could there be no weapons around in a Watcher's house?

Haymitch had a trunk in every room, including the bathrooms and the toilets. He would have to talk to Effie about safety.

If he survived the dog.

And the pissed off witch who charged into the living-room, wearing nothing but tangerine frilly shorts and a matching light camisole. Her choice of sleepwear was more than he wanted to know about her.

Frost crept all over the beast before it could jump on him again and Peeta used the respite to get back on his feet.

"Where did he come from?!" Effie asked. The dog shuddered and the thin coat of ice that covered him broke. "Dammit!" she uncharacteristically spat, lifting both hands in front of her. Her eyes flashed gold. "Peeta, run!"

He did run, straight to the armory full of weapons he had admired so long the last time he had been there. Behind him, he heard a snarl, a crash and a shout of pain followed by another deafening sound… He hesitated in front of the weapons, Effie's warnings ringing in his ears… Never use one without my say so, she had said, some can be more dangerous than demons…

There were more shouts and with a curse he grabbed the hilt of one of the swords on display and rushed back to the living-room.

The living-room that was now missing a wall…

The window was gone, there was a huge hole in its place. Effie was standing on the gap leading to the street, barefoot in the middle of the rubbles, blood dripping down from deep claw marks on her arm and she had her hands raised again. She was visibly shaking.

Peeta ducked under her arm and took stock of what was happening outside. The dog was thrashing, its huge paws encased in ice… Haymitch wearing nothing but boxers was trying to get close enough on one side to hit it with his knife but the beast was too good at avoiding any kind of direct hit and almost snapped his arm off with its terrible jaw… Katniss, in an oversized tee-shirt that, for whatever reason since she wasn't a fan to his knowledge, had Liza Simpsons on it was trying to get a good shot with her bow but was having difficulties with the beast twisting and turning and Haymitch being so close… Prim was huddling next to Haymitch's front door, holding a crossbow with obvious unease…

Peeta jumped into the fray, rounding the beast on the opposite side as Haymitch.

"What did you…" Effie frowned when she spotted what he was holding. "Be careful with that sword, it is…"

Her whole body seized and the words died in the back of her throat.

"Effie!" Haymitch called with obvious concern. The distraction cost him dearly when the dog managed to free one of its huge paws and swiped in his direction. The Watcher leaped back but not quickly enough to avoid the claws that scratched his bare chest.

"I can't…" the witch said… Then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed on the heap of broken glass and pieces of wood. She tried pushing herself up again but she was shaking and her nose was badly bleeding.

The ice vanished as if it had never been there.

Peeta swung his sword toward the dog that leaped away but snarled at him.

Katniss finally found a good shot and let an arrow loose.

It found its target right over the right front paw.

It didn't seem to bother the dog but Peeta fell to his knees with a pained cry, an agonizing burning throb reverberating down his right arm. The sword slipped from his numb fingers and he barely had enough presence of mind to roll to the side when the beast tried to take a bite out of him again. The pain didn't lessen.

Haymitch's sword opened a gash on the dog's flank and it was Peeta who roared, pressing a hand against his side. It came away wet with blood.

Peeta met the Watcher's eyes over the beast's back.

"What the fuck's happening?" Katniss shouted, nocking another arrow.

"Don't shoot!" Haymitch ordered, lifting his left hand in her direction to bodily tell her to stop.

The dog tried pouncing on Peeta again and he rolled away for the second time with a sick feeling deep in his stomach.

"Oh, shit…" he spat. The fur, the eyes… His hair, his eyes…

The spell…

His spell…

"The fuck did you do?" Haymitch snarled. Peeta was a little too busy avoiding ending as a dog snack to answer at once and when he tried to open his mouth to explain, he realized the man wasn't talking to him. He had directed his question to the witch who was struggling to haul herself to her knees. And he looked extremely pissed. "Is this a protection spell gone wrong? Did you do something? Trinket! Focus for fuck's sake!"

Effie shook her head either to clear her mind or to refute his accusation.

"It was me." he confessed, avoiding another of the dog's lunging attack.

"What?" Katniss was suddenly in front of him with a stake that seemed far too small to tackle such a beast. "What did you say?"

"It was me!" he repeated louder. It was as if a hush had fallen over the street as they all stared at him – even the dog was staring at him and that was the key wasn't it? "It's me you want." he told the beast. "Right? It's me you want so leave them alone!" That was the last thing he wanted, for the people he loved, this makeshift family they had made, to be hurt because of his own stupidity. The dog was all wrath. His wrath. His inner monster. "Come and get me!"

He started running, holding his bleeding side, his right arm dangling uselessly…

"Peeta!" Katniss screamed.

"No, don't!" Haymitch yelled.

He couldn't see what was happening behind him, he could only guess that she had tried to shoot the dog again and that Haymitch had knocked her off… He could only run. He could only run, feeling the foul breath of the dog on his heels urging him to go faster than he had ever run before…

The thing about inner monsters though…

You could never really escape them.

ooopsie seems like it's the second cliffhanger of the week XD Well... What did Peeta do now? What did you think?