As Jack turned onto the gravel driveway leading to the house where he grew up, he saw his mom step out on the porch, just as she always did when she heard someone come up the drive. When Jack stepped out of the truck, a huge smile came across her face as she hurried to him, excitedly calling his name, "Jack!" Her boy was home.
Jack's blue eyes were shining as he took his mom into his arms, giving her a huge hug. "Aw, mom, I missed ya!" It had been only 6 months since he last visited, but she held onto her son as if she hadn't seen him in years.
"Aww, lemme have a look at you, Jack," his mother said as she pulled away, running her hand down his arm and taking his hand. The second she saw the look on her son's face, she knew something had happened. His eyes told her everything she needed to know. He was happy, happier than she had ever seen him. "Oh, Jack, I've never seen you look so happy."
"I am happy, mom," Jack beamed as they headed towards the house. "Is daddy around? I gotta lot to talk to ya guys about."
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Ennis headed down the road in his truck, his stomach was churning and in knots. He was on his way to pick up his girls. Alma had agreed to let him take the girls for a couple of days, even though he wasn't supposed to get them until the following week. She had also agreed to talk to him in private when he came to get the girls.
His plan was to tell Alma about Jack upfront. There was no beating around the bush with her. He knew Alma's reaction wasn't going to be good, however he went about it. But it was going to be harder to find the right way to tell his daughters, if there even was a right way. He thought about being very vague with them, telling them Jack was just a good friend, but in the end he knew he wanted to tell them the truth.
Ennis pulled in front of Alma's house and turned the truck off. He was sweating bullets. He sat there for a minute, working up the courage to go in there and tell Alma everything. Fuck. Here goes nothin', Ennis thought as he headed for the front door.
Before he could even knock, the door flew open and he was greeted by Junior. "Daddy!" she said as her eyes lit up, giving her dad a big hug.
"Hey there, Junior! How's my girl?"
"Daddy, I'm so glad we're spendin' the next few days with you! I got so much to tell ya!" Junior looked mighty happy. Must be about a boy or a new job or somethin' he thought.
"Well, Junior, can't wait to hear all about it," Ennis thought he was going to be sick. He just wanted to get this over with. "Is your mama around?"
"Sure, come on in, Daddy, I'll go get her." Junior ran to the back of the house yelling "Maaa! Daddy's here!"
Ennis sat on the couch. He was almost sure his face must have been green by now. Thoughts of what he was going to tell Alma started running through his head, but luckily his thoughts were interrupted.
"Hey Daddy," Francine said as she walked into the living room, her little brother's hand in hers.
"Fran! Well look at you, you're a big sister!" Ennis walked over to Fran and kissed her on her head.
"Yeah, just keepin' an eye on him for mama." Fran was her usual quiet self around her dad.
Ennis could hear Junior and Alma speaking in a hushed tone as they walked towards the living room together. "Ennis..." Alma half-greeted him. Not happy to see him. Not upset to see him.
"Come on Fran, let's go out back an' play with Robbie for awhile," Junior said as she led them to the back door. Her mom had just told her to take the kids out back so she could have some private time with her dad.
They shuffled out the back door, Junior closing it behind them. This was it. Ennis looked at Alma and forced a weak smile. "How ya been, Alma?" he asked as he leaned in to give her a quick peck on her cheek. He didn't know why the hell he did this every time he saw her. Old habits die hard he guessed, besides, she never seemed to mind.
"Doin' good, Ennis, how 'bout you?"
"Doin' real, real good. Tha's kinda what I wanted to talk to ya 'bout today."
Alma noticed that Ennis did look really good. He didn't have that dead, empty look he usually did. In fact, she thought he looked happy. Really happy. Something she had never seen.
"Well, Ennis, let's hava seat," Alma said, motioning for the couch, wondering what Ennis wanted to talk to her about. Nothing could have prepared her for what she was about to hear.
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"Daddy! Git down here!" Jack yelled up the stairs as his mom fixed him a cup of coffee.
"So, Jack, wha's all this fussin' about?"
"Thanks, ma." Jack said as he took the coffee cup from her and kissed her on the cheek. "Now hold yer horses, we gotta wait til dad gets here."
Jack and his mom sat at the kitchen table. She was telling him about the headaches his dad had been dealing with on the ranch, and how they were down to about 50 head of cattle that were not in the best of shape.
Jack's dad shuffled into the kitchen. The years on the ranch really had taken a toll on his body. "Hey, boy." Jack's dad said as he sat down at the table. There were no handshakes or hugs, nor were they expected. Jack had grown accustomed to his dad's "greetings" through the years. He had grown accustomed to a lot of things from his dad during the years.
"Jack has somethin' he wants to talk to us about, don't you Jack?" His mom said, hoping her words would break the uncomfortable tension between Jack and his dad.
Jack's dad looked at him, eyeballing him up and down. "Is that right, boy? What you got to tell us now?" Jack tried not to let the way his dad had emphasized the word "now" upset him. What crazy thing ya gonna tell us now? He knew that's what his dad wanted to say.
Jack took a deep breath, then started to smile, his white teeth brightening up the entire room. "I'm comin' back home. To stay. Gonna get this ranch up an runnin' again."
"Oh Jack!" His mom squealed with delight as she patted his hand with hers. "You're commin' home!" Nothing could have scraped the smile off her face.
Jack looked at his dad. If he didn't know any better, he would say his dad actually looked a little pleased. He should have known better. "You bringin' that wife a yours an' that son a yours up here too? Or are ya comin' up alone?" His dad paused for a second then looked his son right in the eye "Or maybe you're bringin' someone else...a friend...up here with ya."
Jack stared at his dad, his eyes turning an icy cold blue. "Yes, dad as a matter a fact I am bringin' someone up here with me. Ennis Del Mar. What was that you said to me when I told you we was gonna come up here someday? Somethin' about my crazy dreams? Wasn't that what you said, dad?" He and his dad glared at each other. And Jack was about to do something he had never done before. He kept staring right back at his dad.
In the past, he had always let his dad stare him down. He was the one that always turned away. And the second he broke the eye contact with his dad, he knew he had been defeated. They both new who had won, his dad made sure of that.
But this time, this time, he refused to turn away from his dad. He was not going to let that smug son of a bitch win. Jack knew if he looked away from his dad right now, things would never work out with him and Ennis up here. Jack leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table, staring the old man down with eyes of steel.
Jack's mom stood up, in a tizzy, trying to diffuse the situation. "Can I get anyone some more coffee?"
In a calm, confident voice, not once taking his eyes off his dad, Jack said, "Mom, sit down." She wasn't about to argue with anyone. She sat down, all of them sitting in silence. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. A dull knife.
After what seemed like an eternity, Jack's dad sprung up out of his chair, threw his hands in the air, his face red, and yelled "Fine! Bring 'em up here! Think ya guys can fix this place up? Go ahead an try, ya bunch a god damned big shots!" And with that, Jack's dad stormed out of the house, defeated.
Jack looked at his mom and they both smiled.
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"Well, are ya gonna say anythin' Ennis? Or ya just gonna sit there?"
Ennis looked down and took a deep breath. He then turned and faced Alma. Poor Alma. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. He had caused her enough hurt to last a lifetime. "Alma, there's somethin' I gotta tell ya. I ain't told no one else yet. I figure I owed it to ya to tell ya first."
Alma smiled, laughing a little nervously, "What is it, Ennis?" Was it a new job? Did he get a promotion? Was he moving?
Ennis looked down and started talking in a low voice. "Well, truth is, I'm movin' in a couple a weeks."
"Movin'? Where ya movin'? You'll still be able to see the girls, won't ya?"
"Course I'll still see the girls. I'm movin' up to this ranch, 'bout an hour an a half drive north a Riverton."
"Wow...movin', a new job workin' on a ranch. Tha's great, Ennis." But she could tell by the look on his face there was more he had to tell her. "What is it, Ennis?"
"I-I'm not goin' up there by myself..." Ennis hesitated, he didn't quite know what to say next.
"Ennis, I think tha's great. The girls an I worry about you bein' alone---"
Before she could finish the sentence, Ennis blurted out "I'm movin' up there with Jack Twist." He couldn't even look at her when he said it.
"Your old fishin' buddy?" Alma barely got out, as the look on her face started to change.
Ennis could see the tears forming in her eyes. She started breathing heavily, trying hard to hold it together. Her mind flashed back to the day she saw her husband kissing another man, just outside their home. She remembered tying the note to his fishing pole, knowing he would never see it. She remembered all the sad, lonely nights, when he was off with Jack, fishing.
Alma got up from the couch, walking nowhere, her back to Ennis. Then the tears started to fall. She couldn't breathe, the room was spinning, it felt like the world was crashing down on her. Ennis sprung off the couch. It looked like she was going to fall. He put his hand on her shoulder, trying to steady her, only to have it shoved away.
"DON'T you touch me, Ennis Del Mar. Don't you dare touch me." Alma cried.
"Alma," Ennis wanted to at least try and comfort her. "Alma, I'm sorry..."
Alma turned around to face Ennis. Her eyes were wild and filled with fire. "Did you jus' tell me you're sorry?!" The tears that were falling now were not tears of shock or sadness, but tears of anger. Years of built up anger. "What're you sorry for? Are ya sorry I saw ya kissin' your fishin' buddy from Texas after ya hadn't seen him in four years? Or are ya sorry that I know you an' Jack never gone fishin'?" Alma was almost shouting now. "One a the las' times you gone fishin' with him while we was still married, I tied a note to your fishin' pole. Your fishin' pole that had never been used! Know what I wrote? Ennis, please bring us home some trouts. Love, Alma. You never got the note! I checked after ya got back an' told me 'bout all the fish you caught!"
Every lie Ennis had ever told was showing in Alma's face. Hurt, sadness, anger, disgust. It was all there. Ennis knew Alma would never forgive him. There was nothing left for Ennis to say that he hadn't already said. So he said it again. "Alma, I'm so sorry. I didn't wanna hurt you. I sure as hell didn't mean to hurt you."
Alma's anger had quickly turned to sadness as she heard Ennis say those words. She looked at Ennis, as the tears fell from her puffy eyes. As much as it would pain her, she had to know. "Do ya love him?"
"Yes, Alma, I do."
"How long have you loved him?" she asked, her voice shaking.
"Alma..." Ennis didn't want to answer her.
"Did you love him when you married me, Ennis?" she softly cried. She knew the answer. Somewhere deep inside, she had known the answer all along.
"Yes." Ennis said, looking down. He couldn't lie. She deserved the truth. He could at least give her the truth.
Alma was completely heartbroken. She didn't have the strength to stand anymore, so she sat down in the chair "Why, Ennis? Why? Why'd ya marry me? Our whole marriage was a lie. Everything was a lie. Why would ya do that to me? I loved you Ennis." Alma put her face in her hands and started to cry. "Why, Ennis?" she kept asking between sobs.
Ennis walked over to where she was sitting and knelt in front of her. He put his arms around her, and she didn't resist. She cried in Ennis' arms, muttering words he couldn't understand. He held her in silence until she was done crying.
When she finally stopped, she pulled away and looked at Ennis through her puffy eyes and in a very low voice said, "You best be goin' to your truck now. I'll send the girls out." Alma stood up and walked past Ennis, leaving him in the room alone.
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"Jack, is Ennis the reason you're so happy?" Jack and his mom were sitting on the old swing on the front porch, just like they used to when he was younger. That's where they would sit on summer nights. Sometimes talking, sometimes just listening to the crickets. It was their special place.
Jack looked at his mom and smiled, "Yeah, mom. He makes me happy."
"Jack," his mom started as she brushed her fingers through his hair, just like she did when he was younger, "You love Ennis, don't you?"
"More than anythin' " Jack replied.
"Jack, tha's all I ever wanted for you." she said with a smile as they swayed back and forth on the swing. Her heart was full. She had never been so happy as she was this night, sitting with her son.