7

Peeta was out the door and in the street before Haymitch had properly cut the engine off. A small smile stretched Katniss' lips and she was relieved to be able to extricate herself from the car because she had spent the whole trip trying not to lean against the fresh blue stains that covered the backseats. The boy was at her side in seconds, a bold hand seeking her shoulder while he looked her up and down with wide eyes, fear and relief battling on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a breath.

"I told you. I'm fine." she grumbled but she couldn't quite sound displeased. Not when his thumb was unconsciously rubbing comforting circles on her shoulder. He watched her a little longer and then his gaze darted to the other side of the car with real concern.

Haymitch had walked around the car while Peeta had been inspecting her and he was now helping Effie out. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. The witch had refused to stay in the hospital despite all the doctor had to say about it – the doctor and Haymitch. Her arm was in a sling so she wouldn't pull on the stitches that stretched from her shoulder, close to her neck, to her collarbone. Her ribs were sore but not cracked, which was the only reason she got out of an overnight stay. Katniss knew she was also bruised all over because she had helped her into the hospital paper gown and then back into her own clothes. Her back had already started to turn a sick color of pale blue and yellow in the ER, it made moving difficult.

Plus, the painkillers.

She had bitched about having to take painkillers all the way home but she hadn't protested too much at the hospital so Katniss wasn't sure what was the point. Haymitch had glanced in the rearview mirror and had told her not to mind, that this kind of pills could mess with anyone's head and Effie wasn't all there to begin with. Needless to say, Effie hadn't liked the joke.

She had decided that the one-sided bickering was perhaps worse than the incessant arguing they usually did. The fact that Haymitch had refused to play along had only encouraged Effie to further antagonize him.

It had been a long drive.

"Effie…" Peeta breathed out with clear distress when Haymitch finally managed to get her out of her – far too small – car and the halo from the lamplight hit her straight in the face. Before Katniss could tell him it looked worse than it probably was, he had rounded the car and was holding Effie's free hand. "Are you okay? Can't you… Are you okay?"

Miraculously, Effie didn't start ranting at him about painkillers and why she hated them. She blinked a few times and it took a while for her to focus her gaze on him, to focus at all, really. Without Haymitch, Katniss wasn't sure she would have managed to stay upright, even if she was too stubborn to admit it.

"Peeta…" Her voice was weak at best but the witch forced a smile. "I am alright, I promise. Just a few bruises." He frowned a little, as if in rebuke, and she amended. "And perhaps a few stitches. Everything will be far better in the morning when my head won't be so clouded and I will be able to cast a spell."

"You wouldn't have been doing magic right now anyway so stop bitching about those fucking painkillers." Haymitch snapped. The way he led her to his house was in total contrast to the bite in his words though. It was gentle.

Katniss made an effort not to roll her eyes again. She had been rolling her eyes the whole trip to the hospital. Haymitch had been acting… weird. She had been worried too at first, of course, but the doctor had quickly assessed Effie was not in danger and it had reassured her. She had started treating the hospital trip the same way Effie had been doing: like an inconvenience. Haymitch, on the other hand, had pestered everyone to give her more tests, CTs and what not, insisting she had hit her back very badly and more generally telling people how to do their jobs, right up until Effie had snapped at him to go take a walk outside. He had stormed out and, when he had come back, there had been whiskey on his breath but he had been calmer.

"I told Prim everything was fine." Peeta recounted, falling back next to Katniss as the four of them made a slow advance toward the house. "She wouldn't have gone to bed. She already wanted to wait… I thought if Effie could do a healing spell in the morning, there was no point in her knowing… She would only worry…"

Katniss reached for his hand and squeezed. It was a thank you but she wasn't sure if Peeta took it that way because he distractedly entwined their fingers, his eyes still tracking every of Effie's painfully slow moves.

"Good idea, kid." Haymitch praised, glancing at him over his shoulder. His grey eyes eventually slid down to their joined hands and Katniss defiantly jutted her chin up but he didn't make a comment. "You're staying here tonight."

"I do not need a minder." Effie complained. "I am perfectly capable of…"

"Fucking humor me." Haymitch cut her off in a tone that wasn't a request.

The witch pursed her lips but didn't argue further.

"We never got around to interrogating Ripper." Katniss pointed out, short of stepping inside the house. "Do you want me to go now?"

She did her best to hide the exhaustion from her voice. If she had to hike all the way across town to beat answers out of a demon bar's owner, she would. But…

"I can drive." Peeta suggested, his own voice lukewarm at the prospect. Probably because he had made himself comfortable and he was already wearing pajama pants and a soft looking long-sleeved shirt. And no shoes.

Haymitch paused in the hallway to adjust his hold on Effie, locking eyes with her in the process, seeking her opinion. Katniss could have told him the witch clearly didn't have an opinion that wasn't the necessity of crashing down on a bed.

"We'll take care of that tomorrow…" he decided, letting his voice trail off as if he wasn't entirely sure it was the right move. "Everyone goes to bed for now. It's a school night."

The words were so strange in their normality that they all stood there to consider them.

Peeta was the first to snort. Then Katniss was laughing so hard her belly hurt. Even Effie giggled but that might have been the painkillers.

"Seriously though…" Haymitch added with a smirk, clearly pleased at having made them all laugh. "Don't stay up too late. We all need some rest."

She watched her Watchers start to climb up the stairs and then rubbed her face.

"I've warmed up some pizza for you." Peeta said, his hand brushing down her arm lightly. "I know you're always hungry after a fight…"

That made her smile. She was hungry even though she had raided the vending machine at the hospital with all the money she had managed to pinch from Haymitch's jacket pocket while he wasn't looking.

"I need a shower first." She made a face at her own smell. It was never good when you could smell yourself, she supposed. And that was without taking into account the bloodstains both from the demon and Effie's wound.

"Sure." He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "I'll wait. There's fresh bread too." Her eyebrows twitched and he shrugged again, looking nervous. "I bake when I'm stressed."

"Effie will be fine." she promised firmly.

He offered her a poor excuse of a smile but didn't look entirely reassured. "Do you think she would like a cup of tea? Or… Or some chamomile? She drinks chamomile before bed sometimes… She says it helps her get in a good mindset to sleep."

He looked so anxious to help the witch, Katniss mused. A part of her could understand because if it had been Haymitch who had been hurt… She loved Effie too, of course. Effie had proven herself to be an invaluable member of the team, more than that, as far as Katniss was concerned, she was family. But Effie wasn't Haymitch. Haymitch was…

She glanced up the stairs to make sure the Watchers had finished their painful ascension and weren't anywhere within earshot.

"I think you better leave them alone or you're going to see something you won't be able to unsee." she advised. Wisely, in her opinion. At the hospital, she was pretty sure Haymitch had almost forgotten himself a few times and would have kissed her right in front of her if Effie hadn't narrowed her eyes at him every time. The doctor had thought they were married. Go figure.

Peeta snorted and then nodded. "Haymitch freaked out?"

"Worse than you did." she confirmed, rolling her eyes. "Even when the doctor said she was okay. He kept spiraling out."

"Can you blame him though?" Peeta asked, lowering his voice. "After all the people he lost…"

She didn't want to talk about losing people at three a.m. when they just had a close call. She muttered something about taking a shower again and took off upstairs without bothering with the lights. The soft glow of a lamp was spilling on the corridor's floorboard and she heard the deep rumble of Haymitch's voice telling Effie to stop wriggling if she wanted out of her clothes. She hurried to her own room, careful not to wake Prim as she grabbed her pajamas and a zip-up hoodie. She had told herself it would be a quick shower but she had troubles convincing herself to get out from under the warm stream of water.

She almost crawled to her bed to go to sleep despite the gnawing hunger twisting her belly so she had been pretty certain Peeta would have grown tired of waiting for her but he was in the kitchen when she walked in, sitting at the table and doodling. He did a double take when he saw her and she self-consciously pulled the zipper up because she wasn't wearing a bra and it was cold enough that it would show and…

Why was she so nervous around Peeta lately? She hated that. It wasn't her. It really wasn't.

And yet there she was, braiding her wet hair over her shoulder to keep her hands busy and her mind occupied…

"Here." Peeta said, standing up to fish a plate out of the microwave. He also grabbed a loaf of bread that immediately made her mouth water.

"Thanks." she mumbled and it was still awkward even when she started eating and he started sketching again. She followed the lines of his pencil with her eyes but only realized he was drawing Effie's face when he moved his hand a little to the right… He had drawn her with her hair up in that crown and the hard expression on her face from earlier, the one that had made her look so much like a warrior. Like a Slayer. He had made her look so… There was so much care in the drawing, so much obvious admiration… She couldn't help the stab of jealousy even if she knew it was stupid. "You really love her."

The words sounded flat.

Peeta glanced up in surprise, a small frown on his face. "Of course, I do." He studied her for a moment and then his face relaxed into an amused expression. "She's been more of a mom to me in a few months than my real mom has been all my life so… Yeah. I love her. Like a mom."

She had known that, of course. Of course, she had known that.

Just like she knew Haymitch didn't really wish Effie was his Slayer instead of Katniss. She was just being stupid.

And yet she stared hard at the half-finished slice of pizza on her plate, clenching her teeth because she was blushing again and she didn't blush.

"Katniss…" he said quietly, turning the pages of his sketchbook until he found the drawing he was looking for. He turned it toward her so she could see it, see a sketched version of herself with a bow, her features schooled into determination, her braid caught in mid-swing behind her… There was even more care in that drawing, even more… "She's not the only one I love."

Her heart was beating so fast and so hard she was sure it was in her throat.

"Like a mom?" she croaked, hoping the joke would break the tension.

She couldn't bring herself to look at him again. She dragged her eyes from the drawing to her pizza, already knowing she wouldn't be able to eat another bite if she tried.

"Yeah." he humored her, laughter in his voice. "Like a mom." She chanced a glance at him, found only fondness and amusement on his face and managed a small smile. He nodded at her plate. "Finish your pizza, mom."

She wrinkled her nose. "That's weird."

"You're weird." he accused but there was no heat in his voice, none of the mockery other kids at school used when they called her a freak. It was teasing, tender… Patient.

"Shut up." She kicked his ankle under the table, keeping her strength in check so she wouldn't hurt him.

"I'd say make me but I don't want you to run away upstairs." he joked, his cheeks turning a little red. He rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed sort of way.

It took her a second to figure out how she could have silenced him and her mouth was suddenly very dry. There was a weird sensation in her belly, something that wasn't quite hunger and yet was, but she firmly put a lid on it for now.

"I never run away." she lied and forced herself to take another bite of her pizza as if everything was fine.

He went back to his sketching, a small secret smile stretching the corner of his lips.

"I know." he granted. "You always end up facing the monsters. Eventually."

She deliberated between leaving it at that and getting the last word in but she couldn't bear the thought of actually running away when he had just praised her courage. "You're not a monster."

He didn't look up again and for that she was grateful because she only had a limited amount of courage and she wasn't exactly sure what she was even doing right then.

"Is that why it's taking you so long?" he asked, all calm and patience.

As if they had all the time in the world.

Except they didn't really, did they?

She didn't have a good answer for him and, suddenly, playing with this fire wasn't as exciting as it had been ten seconds earlier. Without another word, she finished the slice of pizza, rinsed the plate and put it in the dishwasher. Peeta didn't say anything either but the silence wasn't too awkward or weird, it was just… Silence.

He remained in the kitchen when she slipped out, answered her goodnight with a goodnight of his own…

Haymitch's bedroom door was closed.

She pondered that for a second. For how alike they were… He didn't seem to have the same problem convincing himself kissing people he wanted to kiss wouldn't end in disaster… She didn't understand it.

°O°O°O°O°

"I want to wash." Effie demanded as soon as they had reached his bedroom.

It had been a painfully slow process and there wasn't an inch of her body that didn't ache but she was also covered in blue goo that the wipes she kept in her car hadn't done an awesome job at cleaning and her skin felt sticky. She felt gross. And she hated feeling gross.

"Could run you a bath…" Haymitch suggested, running a hand in his hair.

Through the cloud of painkillers, she noted he didn't look really good. He was pale and he looked tired and that made her throat close because…

"If I get into your bathtub, I will never be able to get out." she countered, shaking her head. It was a mistake because it immediately started spinning. "Shower. Help me get undressed, please."

He complied without a word. She tried to help but her fingers weren't as deft as usual because of the painkillers that made the pain in her body bearable but also clouded her head and Haymitch kept snapping at her to stand still.

Truthfully, she wasn't sure how they even made it to his shower. Once there, she didn't even have the energy to wash. She leaned against the partition wall, letting the stream of hot water batter on her skin, barely trying to keep her injured shoulder away from the water. Haymitch had wrapped it so it wouldn't get wet but…

His hands roamed on her body, gently rubbing soap into her skin, careful not to press on the bruises… She closed her eyes and let him work.

She must have fallen asleep still standing because next thing she knew, he was wrapping a towel around her chest and steering her toward the bed.

"Do you want a shirt or something?" he asked, helping her sit down before heading for his dresser. "Would have to be button-up, yeah? Must have something around here…"

She watched his naked back while he rummaged in the messy drawers and then she burst into tears. Big ugly sobs shook her frame, rekindling the aches and pains in her whole body.

Haymitch badly startled. He turned around, eyes wide, and watched her as if she had just turned into an ugly demon right on top of his bed.

She carefully lowered herself down to her side and curled up, not even trying to fight the tears. She didn't think she could even if she tried.

"What…" Haymitch seemed at a loss for words. He was clutching an ugly orange shirt that he had no business owning because orange wouldn't work with his skin tone and the sane part of her swore to herself she would burn it as soon as he wasn't looking. "Sweetheart…" In two big strides he was kneeling next to the bed, hesitantly reaching for her hair. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong…" she croaked. "What's wrong is you made me take painkillers…"

She sobbed even harder.

Oh, how she hated those pills and how it always made her feel… Caesar had learned his lesson long ago when she had been fourteen. Strong painkillers were only reserved for the direst of injuries because he claimed she was impossible when she took them. Her Watcher had healed everything else with aspirin and ibuprofen. And she may or may not have been using magic when she could.

His grey eyes were still wide but there was also a flicker of amusement dancing in there when he started petting her hair. "Ain't my fault you flew across the cemetery."

"Isn't it though?" she hissed and he flinched. That wasn't what she had meant to say and she grabbed his wrist before he could pull away. His face was already closing off. She didn't have the patience or the clear head for that right then. "You said you were going to die."

She thought she was holding tight to him but her grip couldn't have been that strong because he tugged himself free and coiled his hand at the base of her nape.

"I said it was a possibility." he corrected.

She was pretty sure it wasn't how he had made it sound.

"I hate fighting. I wanted to show you I could." she snapped. "And… And…"

"I know you can fight." He snorted. "Sweetheart, we had this conversation today already. I think you're high."

"I am very high!" she replied, too loud probably because he shushed her with an anxious look toward the closed bedroom door. She started sobbing in earnest again. "I don't want you to die."

"I don't plan on dying anytime soon." he grumbled, lifting his hand from her nape to bury it in her hair. "Calm down already. I shouldn't have said anything."

"You tell me to go, then you tell me to stay, then you tell me to go again and now you're saying I need to prep to take over for you once you're dead and... And…" She was aware her words were slurring together, hard to understand because of the sobs and hiccups. "I don't want to… I…"

Haymitch let out a long sigh and climbed over her on the bed to spoon her from behind, sneaking an arm under her head so she could use it as a pillow. He was very very careful not to apply pressure on her bruises but his arms were also firm when they closed around her. She wanted to protest they were on the wrong sides of the bed – not that they had sides but they did have sides and…

"Effie, you're high, you're in pain and you got a fright tonight." he said quietly. "Go to sleep."

"But I can't lose you, don't you see?" she insisted with a desperate sort of urgency. "Maybe you don't want to talk about it but I…"

"I don't want to talk about it." he confirmed, almost coldly. "I really don't want to talk about it when I spent thirty seconds thinking you had broken your neck on that tombstone. Longest thirty seconds of my life, let me tell you."

She pressed her face against his arm. He would feel the tears, she knew, but she didn't think she could turn around and bury her head in the crook of his neck like she wanted to, not without a lot of pain.

"Don't die." she begged. "Even if we fail… Even if Snow… Don't die."

He let out another long sigh against her head. "Won't go down without a fight, can promise you that."

"You won't go down at all." she growled. "Or I will tear heaven and hell apart to get you back. I know spells. I could do it."

She was so angered by the notion, so tired and distressed that she felt the rush of power rise in her chest but could do nothing to stop it. His arms tightened around her, the one under her head folding back to better encircle her.

"Sweetheart, stop." he ordered.

He sounded frightened.

She only understood why when she realized her whole body was humming with magic. Worse, it was pulsing with it. She panicked when she couldn't get a proper hold on it, send it back where it came from…

"Use it to heal yourself." he suggested, obviously picking up on the problem and yet still holding tight to her.

The spell for that was too precise and she wasn't lucid enough. She shook her head, tried to at least because Haymitch was locking it in place, and still the magic rose, her skin starting to glow gold with the strength of it…

"The good luck spell." he offered next, releasing his hold on her head so she could turn it. He pressed his lips on hers, just enough to make contact.

That spell was easier and it should be enough to focus some of that wild magic.

"May the odds be ever in your favor." she whispered against his mouth, turning the peck into a proper kiss.

The magic flew through it. Far too much for a simple good luck spell that wasn't, in nature, too powerful. She was ready to bet he would find pennies on the street for a long time, she could only hope it would also save his life.

Haymitch groaned and she immediately drew back, worried. "Did I hurt you?"

He looked dazed and leaned back down for another kiss, pressing himself harder against her back. Harder was the right word. His sudden erection was poking her. He chuckled against her lips. "Can't say it hurt, no." Haymitch's body reacted very weirdly to her magic, she decided as she tried to move away from him. He wouldn't have it though. "It's alright… It's alright… It's gonna go away… Just… Give me a minute."

She didn't care that he was hard.

"I am dangerous." she hissed, tugging on the arm around her stomach so he would let her go. "I lost control. I…"

"You've got a lot of new power and you're still figuring shit out." he grumbled, clearly not happy with her attempts at escaping his embrace. He hooked his legs on top of hers, efficiently pinning her down. "You handled it. It's fine."

It wasn't fine. It was as far from fine as they could get.

If she lost control, there would be no one there to stop her. What she needed was the guidance of someone more powerful than her, someone who could stop her if she slipped and…

"Did your warlock friend ever call you back?" she asked, her heart still hammering in her chest.

They could have done with his friend's guidance. The warlock had managed to help trap Snow in the past and, by all accounts, he could have helped Effie handle her new powers.

"Don't think he's been getting my messages." Haymitch clucked his tongue once in annoyance.

"We could use him." she remarked, coiling her fingers in the crook of his elbow. "He could… Perhaps we should bind my powers. Until we can consult someone. I…"

"We don't need to bind your powers." Haymitch cut her off. "You're doing fine."

Was she though? She wasn't sure. Every time she let herself sink into that place of power, she heard the siren song of the Hellmouth enticing her to use its power… She truly did not want to turn dark.

"Why are you not scared of me?" she whispered.

"Why are you not scared of me?" he scoffed.

Because every woman he had ever cared for had died… Should she be scared of him because of that? That would imply he cared for her and he wasn't even ready to admit that out loud so…

"I have no good sense." she joked tiredly, nuzzling the inside of his arm.

"Makes two of us, then." he mocked. He was silent for a beat and then pressed a kiss against the back of her injured shoulder. His stubble itched. "Let's make a deal, sweetheart, yeah? I'm gonna try to stop thinking I'm gonna die and you're gonna try and stop thinking you're not strong enough for this whole shit show." She opened her mouth to protest because she had wanted to come to the Seam. The opportunity for her career… "You're a good Watcher." he added before she could say anything. "You're a white witch. And you definitely can fight like any other Potential."

She pressed her lips together. She wasn't sure if it was to suppress a smile or because she was annoyed. "Are you giving me a pep talk?"

He shrugged. "Pep talks are good sometimes."

This time, she was definitely fighting a smile. "Do you need me to tell you your reputation is right and you are the best Watcher a Slayer could want? That you are being ridiculous when you think Katniss and I would be better off without you? That it infuriates me so when you act like you are not our best chance at stopping this?"

He had the knowledge and the experience. Of course, at the end of the day, it would be Katniss stopping the end of the world but they would need Haymitch to do that. Alive and well.

"See?" He dropped a kiss on her head. "Pep talks don't hurt." She felt him move away from her and groaned in protest, grabbing the arm that was trying to slide from under her head. "Stay."

"I'm coming back." he promised. "I need a drink."

"I need a cigarette." she shot back, digging her fingers in his arm to hold him back. "And yet I am not moving unless an apocalypse comes knocking at the door."

Because they were both aware she might just have jinxed them with that sentence, they both froze and listened hard for a second, almost expecting knocks. When only silence answered them, Effie relaxed again.

Haymitch didn't.

"Ain't quite the same thing, Princess." he taunted.

It wasn't something they had really ever addressed. He was good at hiding his alcoholism when he wanted to. He never got drunk when they might need him – and lately, they always seemed to need him so he kept the drinking to a minimum which she knew cost him. She hadn't reported that nugget to Coin although she suspected she already knew because Finnick had spilled the beans.

"I could distract you." she offered. She couldn't feel his hard on anymore but it didn't mean it couldn't come back.

"The state you're in, you really couldn't." he mocked gently.

"Do you really need a glass right now?" she insisted. She said a glass and not a drink because a drink might mean a whole bottle and she didn't want to encourage him. She continued before he could accuse her of meddling, making sure her voice reflected the vulnerability she didn't always want to acknowledge. "Because I need you. I don't want to be alone. I need you."

For a long moment, she wasn't sure he wouldn't leave anyway, if only for a few minutes, but then he let out a long sigh and made himself comfortable again, grumbling under his breath about her manipulating him.

"Do you need more painkillers?" he asked.

The simple thought of taking more of them made her shudder. The rush of magic had cleared them off her system, she suspected, because she felt less… loopy.

"Just hold me and don't let go." she pleaded.

Love me, she didn't say since he didn't want to hear it.

"Won't let go." he answered.

And it sounded like a promise.

Well... We had some confessions today ;) Did you enjoy it? Let me know your thoughts!