Jack was able to keep his mind off Lureen for most of the drive down to Texas. There were plenty of things to keep his mind occupied. Like Ennis. And starting a new life with him. And the ranch. And all the things that needed to be done to get it up and running again. But as he got closer to home, he couldn't help but feel sad.
Sad because of Lureen. He didn't want to hurt her. They had been married almost 20 years, they had a child together, and they were quite a team when it came to the family business. And now it was all over, and she didn't even know it yet.
He remembered the first time he saw her. She blazed right past him on her horse. She was going so fast, her hat flew off her head and hit the ground in a cloud of dust. He remembered the way she looked at him as he picked her hat up off the ground, and the wink she gave him as he brushed it off and handed it back her.
Later that night at the bar, she asked him to dance. As they danced to the music, he closed his eyes. He could smell her hair and feel her slender body pressed against his own. They slowly moved to the music as he held her close, so close that he could feel her warm breath on his cheek. And for one glorious moment, it was just him and Lureen, dancing. No Ennis. No pain. For the first time since he left Brokeback Mountain.
Lureen was a beautiful woman. She was energetic and outgoing, funny and mischievous. She could charm the socks off of anyone. But above all, she was crazy in love with Jack. After dating her for a few months, Jack asked her to marry him. It made sense. It was what he was supposed to do.
They were the picture perfect couple. The beautiful wife, the handsome husband, living in the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood. Then along came Bobby and everything was complete. Now, they were the picture perfect family. At least that's how it appeared. Jack tried to give the marriage his all. He tried to make Lureen happy. He tried to be a good father. But most of the time, his heart just wasn't in it. He had left his heart up in Wyoming a long, long time ago.
So now here he was, less than an hour away from their house in Childress, Texas. He was going home to end something, that for him, never started.
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When Jack came through the front door, the house was dark and quiet. He looked at his watch and it was just a little after 10 at night. Damn. Lureen must already be in bed.
Jack left his bag by the front door and headed straight for the kitchen. He was starving. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed what he needed to make a sandwich. When he was done, he grabbed a beer off the bottom shelf and headed out back to the patio.
He sat down on one of the patio chairs that Lureen had picked out. And of course the color of the patio furniture matched the color of the trim on their house. Everything had to match, everything had to be perfect in Lureen's eyes. But Jack did have to admit the chairs she picked out were awfully comfortable. He leaned back on the cushioned chair and rested his cowboy boots on the table.
When he was done eating, he lit a cigarette. He looked up at the moon, wondering what Ennis was doing at this very moment. God he missed him. They had only been apart for a few days, but already he was longing to be with him again. Whenever they were apart, something in Jack shut down. He just didn't work without Ennis.
As Jack put his cigarette out, he heard the back door slide open. "I thought I heard somethin'," Lureen said in a sleepy voice as she stepped outside. "Ya just get home?" she yawned as she kissed Jack's hair and sat in the chair across from him.
"Jus' pulled in 'bout 20 minutes ago." Jack said as he looked at his wife with a blank expression.
Lureen noticed Jack was different. Usually when he got home he would either be very excited or very grumpy or very tired. Driving in his truck all day did something to intensify whatever emotion he was feeling. But tonight there was nothing. Jack wasn't happy or sad, tired or bright-eyed. His mind was someplace else, far, far away. "Jack, what is it? Are you all right?"
Jack looked at Lureen, sitting across from him in her lacey white nightgown and matching bathrobe, wondering how on earth he was ever going to be able to do this. "No, I'm not all right." Jack said in a low voice.
"Everythin' ok? I was expectin' you home a couple days ago, but figured you musta gone to see your parents. They ok?"
Jack looked down as his eyes started to sting. "They're fine," Jack choked out. Get ahold of yourself, Twist. This ain't gonna be easy, you just gotta do it.
"Then what is it? Jack...?"
Jack took a drink of his beer and set the bottle quietly down on the table between them. He set his gaze on the bottle, as if staring at it was going to help him get through this any easier. "I can't do this no more, Lureen."
"Do what, Jack?" Lureen looked at him, confused.
Jack stood up out of his chair and walked to the end of the patio. With a sigh, he rested his hands on the railing with his back to Lureen. "I can't pretend no more." Jack dropped his head and closed his eyes. "I can't pretend for one more second that we're happy. I can't go to work for one more day an' plaster that god damn fake smile across my face. I'm sick a' pretendin' to be someone that I'm not."
Lureen got up out of her chair and put her hand on Jack's shoulder. "Hon, you jus' had a long day. 'Course we're happy. Your jus' tired is all."
Jack turned around and looked at Lureen. Those big brown eyes of hers were staring right back at him. "Lureen, are ya' kiddin' me? You're really happy! With me! We could do this marriage of ours over the phone for christ sake."
"Jack, wha's that supposed to mean?" Lureen asked with that look of hers, daring him to go on. Usually it could stop him, but not this time.
"Lureen, I was supposed to be back over a week ago. Neither one of us cared. I didn't call you, you didn't try an' call me. These trips a' mine are vacations for both of us. When I'm here we're either workin' or you're over at your parent's house, or I'm out riddin'. Unless it's at work, we're never together. I'm jus' done with this. With us."
"Jack, what'dya mean you're done with us! What has gotten in to you!" Lureen was getting angry.
"Lureen, look at me."
"I am lookin' at you, you fool!"
Jack's voice softened as he brought his hand to Lureen's face. "Lureen, look at me. Look in my eyes." Lureen was taken aback by Jack's behavior. She let the tension leave her body for a moment as she looked at Jack.
"Lureen," Jack continued as he took Lureen's hands in his. "Look at me and tell me you love me. You really love me. Tell me that there's still somethin', anythin', between us. Tell me ya missed me like crazy while I was gone an' you counted the days til I got home."
Lureen's eyes filled with tears as she looked at Jack, saying nothing.
As they stood there in silence, they both knew. "How'd we get like this, Jack!" Lureen cried, as Jack took her in his arms. Lureen knew that their marriage had deteriorated through the years. It was shortly after Bobby was born when she noticed things between her and Jack were not the same. She just figured it was because they had just had a child, they had to take on new roles as parents. She'd always heard how much having a child would forever change your life.
"Why, now, Jack? Why're you bringin' this up now? Why not five years ago? Why not five years from now?"
Jack pulled away from Lureen, walked over to the table and lit a cigarette. "Lureen, I jus' wanna be happy. Don't you? When was the last time you were happy with me? When we were happy together?"
"Jack, what happened when you were gone? Somethin' had to have happened to bring all this on."
"While I was gone, I jus' decided I wanted to quit pretendin'."
"Pretendin' what, Jack? Look, I get it. I get that we ain't happy. I get that we may not love each other like we used to. But tha's not what this is about. There's somethin' you ain't tellin' me. I know you, Jack. Wha's all this "I wanna be happy" shit? What is it? You find someone else that makes you happy? Is that what this is about?" Lureen was getting angry. She was a smart woman, and she knew Jack well enough to know by the look on his face there was someone else.
"You son of a bitch! There is someone else, isn't there?"
Jack looked away from Lureen as he took a drag of his cigarette. She had him.
"Who is she, Jack? Do I know her? How long this been goin' on? You really been goin' huntin' all these years? Or was that jus' an excuse to be with her!" she screamed.
"Lureen, it's not like that..." Jack was cut off by a slap in the face.
Lureens eyes were red and furious. She wanted a name and she wanted it now. Lureen screamed at the top of her lungs "WHO IS SHE!"
"It's Ennis!" Jack yelled back.
Ennis. That name hung silently in the air between them as they stared at one another. Lureen looked terrified.
"Oh, my God," Lureen gasped, "No, you didn't just say that. You didn't just say that...Ennis? That huntin' friend a' yours? He's the one that makes you happy? Oh, my God, this can't be happenin' to me, this can't be happenin'. You're tired a' pretendin'? Tired a' pretendin'. No WONDER you're tired a' pretendin' Jack!"
Shocked, Lureen sat down in a chair. "Jack, all these years. All these years! Is that how long this affair's been goin' on? All these years you gone to see him you been fuckin' him!"
Jack went and kneeled next to Lureen in the chair. "Lureen, I am so sorry. I tried. I tried so hard to be a good husband. But..."
"But you're a QUEER!"
"Yes."
"Fuck, Jack..." Lureen looked at Jack, completely stunned. She just wanted some answers. "How long this been goin' on between you two?"
"It started when we was 19. When we worked a summer up on Brokeback Mountain. Then it ended. I thought. Until we saw eachother again four years later. Then we started it back up again."
"Right after I had Bobby..." Everything was starting to make sense to Lureen now. "I 'member exactly when it must a' started back up. It was the first time you left since Bobby was born. Said you was goin' fishin. An' when you came back, you weren't never the same..." Lureen looked at Jack. She was seething. She would have screamed at him if she didn't feel like she was going to be sick.
Jack stood up and backed away from her. "Lureen, I am so sorry. I tried to make us work, swear to God. And I did love you. I still do. But not the way you deserve to be loved."
"You son of a bitch, Jack!" If looks could kill, Jack would have surely been dead by the look Lureen was giving him now. She got up from the chair, her wild eyes on him.
"You lived with me, in this house, under this roof for 20 god damn years," she said in a voice so calm it was scary. "We raised a child together. For almos' twenty damn years. An' all those years, while I was here, takin' care of our child, takin' care of our home, and runnin' the god damn business, thinkin' all along I'm doin this for us, for our family...you'd go off on your little trips three...sometimes four times a year, to FUCK a man!"
Jack didn't dare say anything. He just stood right there and took everything Lureen had to say to him. He knew deserved it.
Lureen walked right up to Jack and looked at him as her eyes filled with angry tears. "I sure hope he was good Jack! I hope to God he was the best fuck you ever had! You sick, son of a bitch!" And Jack didn't stop her when she started beating on his chest with her fists, along with her screams. "God damn you Jack, damn you! You son of a bitch! You sick son of a bitch!" When she finally got it out of her system, she stopped. This would be the last time Lureen would ever hit or scream at Jack again. She quickly got herself back under control.
She looked down for a moment, covering her eyes as she silently sobbed. She looked back up at Jack and let her tears freely fall. And in almost a whisper she said "Know what, Jack? I pray to God that you love him. I really do. And I sure hope he is worth it. After what you did to me for twenty years...he better god damn well be worth it."
Lureen walked past Jack, and into the house. After a few seconds he could hear their bedroom door slam shut.
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Lureen wanted the divorce to be over with as soon as possible. The morning after Jack had told her, she had packed a bag and gone to stay at her parent's house. She had no intention of ever seeing Jack again.
She was rather surprised that Jack didn't fight for anything. He didn't even want to be bought out of the family business. He owned a small percentage of the business, and he had every right to demand that Lureen and JD buy him out when he left. But he didn't.
Lureen had hired a big shot lawyer, someone who could speed things along. Money could by almost anything. Including a speedy divorce. For the past week and a half now, they had been working out all the legalities of the divorce. Jack had signed paper after paper taking his name off of everything. The house. His share of the business. Some land they owned. Their bank accounts. Everything. Everything but his truck and his own savings account.
Then there was Bobby. Bobby hadn't taken things too well, but better than Jack expected. Bobby stayed at the house with Jack while things were getting finalized. Bobby was about as fond as his grandfather as Jack was.
Jack had told Bobby what was going on. He told him the truth about Ennis and how he was leaving Texas to be with him. He told Bobby he could come with him if he wanted, and he would always be welcome up on the ranch. Bobby didn't say much. He said there was no use going up there, since he had already been accepted at a local college. Other than that, Bobby said he didn't want to talk about things anymore. Bobby just prayed that at any moment he would wake up from this horrible dream.
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In just a little under four weeks, Jack got the divorce papers. Turns out Lureen's lawyer, who also played golf with her dad every week, was friends with the county judge. Amazing how fast things went along when you knew the right people.
Now, everything had been signed. Jack had given up almost everything. He would have given up even more, if that's what needed to be done to be with Ennis. He just wished things with Lureen hadn't ended so terribly. He didn't blame her one bit, though, for treating him the way she did.
Jack had his truck packed with all his belongings. He would be leaving in the morning to be with Ennis. Forever. Ennis was the only thing that had gotten him through the past few weeks.
Jack picked up the phone, excited and jittery. He was calling Ennis to tell him he was coming home.
"Hello."
"Ennis?"
"Jack! I been waitin' for your call!" The excitement in Ennis' voice made Jack's heart just melt.
"It's done Ennis. Everythin'. I'm headin' up there tomorrow mornin'. Should be in late tomorrow night."
They talked briefly about the past few weeks, about telling their families, about what went good and what went bad. They would have more time to talk about it later.
"So I'll see ya tomorrow then." Jack was about ready to explode he was so happy.
"Jack?" Ennis said just in time before Jack hung up the phone.
"Yeah?"
"I love you, Jack." Ennis said in one of those rare, precious moments when he opened himself up completely to Jack.
"I love you too. See ya tomorrow." He put the receiver down, dizzy with happiness. He wondered how on earth he was going to sleep a wink.
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Bobby got up early the next morning to see his dad off. No one else was going to.
The truck was already started, warming up for the long trip. Jack and Bobby were standing by the truck. Jack just stared at his son in silence. No longer a boy, almost a man. Bobby stared back at him, with those same blue eyes. Jack loved that Bobby had his eyes. He sure as hell didn't get those from JD.
"Dad, I want you to know..." Bobby didn't want his dad to leave without knowing that he loved him. He just didn't know how to tell him.
"What is it, Bobby? You can tell me anythin'," Jack knew Bobby was trying to tell him something.
"Maybe I could come up there before classes start in the fall. For a visit, you know." That was the best Bobby could give right now.
"I'd love that." Jack gave his son a big hug. "I love you, Bobby."
It wasn't until after he drove off and waved goodbye that Jack let the tears start to fall.