A huge thank you to Ambush99 for her wonderful betaing skills

Chapter 3

James shivered slightly and pulled his cloak closer. He frowned as he looked around, trying to figure where he was. Of course, the corridor leading towards the Slytherin common room. He had confronted Sirius' younger brother, Regulus, demanding answers. But now, he only felt more confused. He couldn't accept Sirius was dead. Sirius didn't just die. He looked down at his watch. Ten o'clock. He gasped. How had he been sitting here for three hours?! He closed his eyes for a moment. Why did nothing make sense anymore? He just wanted things to go back to what they were. Maybe he had gone too far with Snape. Had he encouraged Sirius to go too far with Snape? Is that why he was here? Alone. Lost in his thoughts, and his best friend dead?

Using the rough granite wall for support, James slowly stood. He rubbed his face. He couldn't stay here for the rest of the night. He didn't want a detention to add to his woes. Reaching into his robes, he pulled out the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," James said quietly, as he tapped the piece of parchment.

'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers, are proud to present the Marauder's Map.'

James let out a choked sob, as the words appeared on the map. He let his fingers trace over the name, 'Padfoot'. A couple of tears fell down his face as he thought back to when they had created the map.

"So, we've mapped the grand hall and all the communal areas. Obviously, we have the Gryffindor common room. We have all of the Professors' areas. What?" James said, as he watched Remus roll his eyes. "I told you there was a benefit of all of mine and Sirius' detentions!"

Peter laughed. "I've got the staff room," he added, with a shy smile.

"Yeah, nice one Wormy," Sirius said, patting the smaller boy on the back. "Wormtail did some good work."

"We've got Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw common rooms, thanks to Padfoot's dates," James continued, shooting his friend a sly grin.

"It's not my fault the ladies find me irresistible," Sirius laughed, throwing a pillow at his best friend.

"Right, all we need now is the Slytherin common room," James said, as he looked up at Sirius.

"What?" Sirius replied, as all three of his friends were looking at him. "No. No, I'm not going into that pit of snakes!"

"Can't you ask your brother?" Peter enquired.

"Don't bring Reggie into this! I'm not going into the pit of snakes. What about Wormy?"

"So, you think it's okay to send me into that common room!" Peter exclaimed, sounding hurt.

"No. No, I don't. But if you go as Wormtail."

"And what if they catch me? I very much doubt they would be as kind as the other houses!" Peter growled, glaring at Sirius.

"I'm not going!" Sirius practically yelled. "I hate them all!"

Remus stepped forward and laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius's explosive temper was infamous. The nostrils flaring. The vein in his temple pulsing. He knew they were about to head down a dangerous path if someone didn't cut him off. "Mate, that's cool. You don't have to. I'm sure there's another way. Oliver Rossier and I get on okay and he's a prefect. Maybe he will give me a tour."

"Really?! You let the snakes into our common room?!" Peter exclaimed.

Remus rolled his eyes. "They aren't all bad."

"I beg to differ," Sirius spat, glaring at him, before crossing his arms and looking away.

"Okay. Okay!" James said calmly, holding his hands up. "We don't need the pit of snakes yet on the map."

"I'm not fucking doing it, James. I'm not going there!" Sirius growled.

"Mate, I said, we don't need their common room yet. We can add it later," James tried to reason with his tense friend.

"Okay," Sirius replied tersely. "And the tracking?"

"Sorted. Those notes you 'borrowed' from Flitwick were genius."

"So, the Homonculous Charm actually works?" Sirius asked curiously, looking at the map.

"Yup," Remus replied, grinning. "Watch this." He muttered something the others didn't hear, and heard them gasp as footprints with labels appeared on the piece of parchment.

"That's amazing Moony!" James exclaimed.

"What about new students?" Peter asked.

James grinned. "Sirius and I broke into the Book and Quill room and copied it. We thought about getting it to, well…."

"You actually applied common sense?!" Remus exclaimed.

"What?" Peter asked, confused.

"I think they were going to wipe all the potential Slytherin students off the book," Remus explained with raised eyebrows.

"Well, it would have made the school a better place," Sirius replied tensely, recrossing his arms.

"We felt it was a step too far. You know, messing with the future and all. Plus, we would have definitely been expelled," James exclaimed, eyeing Sirius carefully. He knew both he and Sirius could be wild and reckless at times but, every now and again, Sirius's behaviour shifted, becoming utterly reckless and at times, outright dangerous. He knew they would all need to keep an eye on him.

Sirius took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. He didn't know why he got so wound up about a stupid house. They were only stinking Slytherins. Just a group of stupid people he would be trapped in that horrible, dark house within a week's time. With all the pureblood mania. All fawning over the perfect, precious Regulus. All their bigoted talk about this great, dark Lord, some bigoted, sadistic bastard who wanted to wipe out the muggleborns and muggles.

"So, how can we hide the information," Sirius said finally, rubbing his face. "It's not something we want falling into the wrong hands. Any hands for that matter. We need to put a password on it."

"I agree," James replied, nodding, relieved that Sirius appeared to have pulled himself out of his dark mood. "What do you reckon mate, a quick trip to Flitwick's office? I'm sure he has some notes about some concealment charm or something."

"Or you could go to the library," Remus said, in an attempt to reason with his friends.

"The library?!" James exclaimed, staggering back in mock hurt. "Moony! How could you?! Padfoot and I have reputations to uphold!"

Sirius laughed. "Moony, it's a week before the end of term. If any teacher sees us two in the library, they will know we are up to something."

"As risky as breaking into Flitwick's office is, Padfoot does have a point. Actually, have you two ever been to the library?" Peter asked, with a wicked grin.

"Maybe once," James replied, his cheeks slightly flushed.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "When Lily wasn't there? Total failure mate. You know that's where she meets with that greasy haired git."

"I will win her over," James replied desperately.

"Yes dear," Sirius replied mockingly, as he patted his friend's back. "So, when are we going to break into Flitwick's office then?"

James pulled off his glasses and raked his hands through his hair. When he had originally met Sirius on the train they had instantly connected. By breakfast the next day he felt he had found his soul mate. Is that why he felt so confused? He should have seen what was going to happen between Sirius and Snape. Sirius had been going through his more destructive phase and had become more irritable with Snape. If only he had stopped the whole incident from happening, Sirius would have been in Hogwarts when he caught dragonpox. James was sure Madam Pomfrey would have cured it in an instant.

Knowing he couldn't stay in an empty classroom for the rest of the night, he slowly pulled himself to his feet and walked towards the door. Quickly checking the map to ensure the coast was clear, he slipped out of the room and back towards the Gryffindor tower.

Remus sat up as he heard the door open, and a figure quietly slip in. "James?" he called out. The figure made it to James' bed and pulled the curtains. "James?" he tried again, but there was no response. He sighed. James had been gone for hours. Remus was hopeful he would come back with answers. Answers he desperately needed. Closing his eyes, he sank back against the pillows. It didn't look like he was getting any answers tonight.

The next morning, Remus rose early, determined to catch James before breakfast, only to find James' bed empty.

"Have you seen Prongs?" Peter asked sleepily, as tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"No," Remus replied tiredly, as he ran a hand through his hair. "He got back late. He didn't say anything. He just went straight to sleep."

"Oh," Peter replied quietly. "I guess we should go down to breakfast without him."

"I guess so," Remus replied in an equally quiet voice.

"Do you think he found out anything?"

"I don't know, Wormy. Maybe. Maybe that's why he didn't want to speak to us."

"Yeah, maybe. I guess whatever he found out wasn't good," Peter replied sadly, his head hanging down as they made their way slowly through the common room. He tried to avoid the stares. The hushed whispers. The pointed looks. He had thought he was imagining it last night at the feast, but he definitely wasn't now. It wasn't a surprise. News always spread like wildfire through the school. That, coupled with Sirius' popularity, meant it was always going to happen.

"Remus, is it true? Did Sirius really die?"

Remus slowly turned his heavy head and looked up, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Yeah," he finally managed.

"How?" Lucy Wong, a sixth year, asked.

"Dragonpox," Remus replied simply.

"How? Dragonpox kills old people," Lucy questioned.

"I don't know. I guess he was unlucky."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I liked him. He was always really funny."

"Thanks," Remus managed, as he eyed the exit, not knowing how much longer he could cope with the stares, the whispering, the questions.

"Come on Moony," Peter said, as he guided Remus towards the exit. "Are you okay?" he asked when they finally made it out into the corridor.

"Yeah, I guess."

"It kinda makes it real, doesn't it?"

"What does?"

"Them. People asking us about Sirius. Before, I was trying to pretend it wasn't real. That it was all a fucked-up dream."

"Yeah," Remus managed, as he slowly plodded towards the hall. "Wormy, do you want to eat in the hall?"

"Not really, but we've got to find Prongs," Peter replied, not looking up, continuing his slow plod towards the hall.

Remus slightly shrank back as the noise and energy of the great hall hit him. It wasn't a place he wanted to be, but Pete was right, they needed to find Prongs. They needed answers.

"Excuse me, Remus?" Samantha Green, a young, nervous first year asked.

"Yes," Remus replied politely.

"I've heard rumours that Sirius Black is dead."

Tears pricked his eyes. What Wormy had said was true. He had been trying to pretend this was all just some horrible nightmare, that Sirius would bounce through into the hall, his arm swung over James' shoulders. Big wild grin. His movements large and full of life.

"He is," Remus replied, nodding, his eyes closed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I liked him. He was really funny."

"Yeah, he was," Remus muttered, busying himself with a piece of toast. He kept his head down, wishing for her to leave.

"Peter. Remus!"

Remus looked up tiredly and found a smile for Mary Kasischke, the Gryffindor quidditch captain. Despite her small stature, she had a fiery reputation and could more than guard the goal posts. "Hi Mary."

"I don't know what to say. Just. I don't know what to say."

"I know. I can't believe it myself."

"He can't be gone. He was too much of a force of life just to go," Mary exclaimed, sighing as she sat down next to them. "How's Potter taking it?"

"Badly," Peter said.

Mary nodded. "Yeah, I can imagine."

"Do you know where he is?" Peter asked.

"No," Mary said, shaking her head. "Why?"

"He left the dorm early."

"Have you tried the Quidditch pitch?" Mary suggested.

"We should-" Peter started.

"You should probably give him a moment. He probably needs time by himself," Mary

suggested.

"But-"

"No, you're right, Mary. We won't get any sense out of him right now. You remember what they were like together," Remus said, laying a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I know we need answers, but you know how close they were. But if he misses the first lesson, I will drag him to the next bloody lesson!"

Ooo

"Hey Potter," Tim Jones, the Gryffindor beater, said as he approached the pacing figure. "I heard about Sirius, and I can't believe it."

James looked up as the large sixth year approached. Tim was muggleborn but a natural beater. Before he attended Hogwarts, he had played some muggle game called rugby. Sirius had been intrigued. So, one Easter holiday he had been forced to go to a rugby match with Tim and Sirius. He didn't really get it. After all, they weren't flying, they just seemed to be running into each other. Tim had explained the positions: tighthead (apparently this was the position he used to play, and it also seemed to be the biggest person on the pitch), lock, centre, scrum half, fly half etc. Both Sirius and he had a good giggle when Tim said one of the positions was called a hooker. They had met some of Tim's muggle friends and had a laugh. They had pretended they only played Lacrosse and basketball at school. James had just about managed to keep the cover story, but Sirius had been a complete natural, chatting away at how he played Cover Point and Tim played Point, the last line of defence before the goalie. Whilst he, James played centre. He remembered Sirius and Tim laughing about how delicate centres were. But that was just a memory. He remembered how easy it was for Sirius to spin the lie. What else had he missed?

"Yeah," James finally managed.

"Yeah," Tim repeated, as he slapped a heavy hand on James' shoulder, almost causing James' knees to buckle. "It's fucked up mate. How does a fit, healthy sixteen-year-old die from fucking dragon pox?!"

"I don't know."

"I mean it's fucked up. Dragonpox is like chicken pox in the muggle world. I had it as a kid and yes, I think I felt like crap for a bit, but I was fine. Everyone I know was also fine. You hear about horrible stories of kids going deaf from it and the like, but they generally had something else wrong with them." Tim stopped and rubbed the slowly growing stubble on his chin. "I guess he was ill for a while with it?"

"I guess so," James replied, looking down, not want to tell anyone what he had learnt from Regulus.

"It's just shit, mate. I'm going to miss him. He was so cool. So into the muggle world, I totally forgot he was a Black. We were going to watch England v Wales in the Five Nations this spring."

"Yeah," James managed. "That's rugby, right?"

"Yeah," Tim replied. He watched James for a moment. "Look mate, I'll leave you to your, I don't know, whatever. Just don't trash the pitch and, if you need anything, you know where I am."

"Thanks," James managed, barely looking up. He watched Tim walk back to the castle, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He wasn't ready for the castle right now. He wasn't ready for people asking questions about Sirius. He definitely wasn't ready for Remus and Peter's questions. He took a slow breath and ambled towards the Black Lake.

Ooo

He lay there, cold, rough stone against his face. The smell of stale beer and dampness invaded his senses. He could hear scraping chairs upstairs, and slurred farewells. He blinked several times, as he tried to clear the fog from his brain. Where the hell was he? He could feel himself panicking again. The same fear that had threatened to consume him for the last few weeks was there again, and he didn't think he could control it. White hot pain shot through his wrist as he tried to push himself up. He couldn't help but scream. He curled himself into a ball, as tears of pain and fear streamed down his face. It was only a matter of time before they came and beat him again. It was only a matter of time before they plunged him into that dark, cold place again. But, as the time went on, there were no footsteps or angry voices, just silence. He rolled over carefully, trying to ignore the excruciating pain that tore through his body. He sat up and tried to get his eyes to focus on something, anything to help him. He tried to lick his parched lips, but his mouth was so dry he could barely swallow.

As his eyes slowly began to focus, he could make out the small, dimly lit room. Boxes and barrels. He blinked again as the seemingly never-ending piercing headache grew tenfold. He knew beer was about one of the worst things he could drink for someone in his condition, but his desperately dry and scratchy throat didn't care. Crawling over to the barrel, he lapped the drops, licking his lips as the warm, wet liquid seemed to replenish some of his strength. He looked around lazily and snagged a bottle of firewhiskey. It wasn't in his nature to steal, but he knew he needed it, not to drink but to cleanse his wounds. He couldn't go to the hospital wing or St. Mungo's, as they would report his injuries to them. The thought of what would happen to him was almost too much to bear.

"Oi! What the hell are you doing?"

He looked up to see a rapidly moving, angry, blurry person thunder towards him.

"Thought you'd help yourself to my supply?!"

"What?"

"You're from the school, aren't you?" the barman growled menacingly.

"What?" he managed, feeling dazzled by the sudden assault on his senses.

The barman bent down and grabbed the younger man by the scuff of the neck. "I don't care," he growled, as he dragged the younger man up the stairs and threw him into the street. "Find your own way back, you dirty little thief!"

He fell hard into the street, shivering as the ice-cold wind bit into him. He knew he had to get up and move or he'd die. Part of him told himself to lie down and die; his friends hated him, and his godforsaken family had disowned him. But there was the other part, where he, Sirius Black, would defend his friends and brother with his dying breath. With great effort, he stood and staggered towards the castle.