12

"One down." Haymitch sighed as he closed the guest room's door behind Katniss. "One to go."

She tried to smile at the bad joke but she couldn't muster much energy and she didn't have it in her to fake it. Sleeping her full and spending the day doing not much of anything with Peeta had done her good but patrolling hour was growing near and she was nervous about going out.

The fact that Peeta had been so reluctant to let them untie him just then… Haymitch had had to force the issue, insisting that if he hadn't lost control yet, he was unlikely to lose it at all. And Katniss agreed. They had spent the whole day together. Violence had flashed in his blue eyes once or twice but he had always kept a lid on it, reminded himself of who he was with minimum input from her…

"Do you think he will be alright?" she asked in a small voice.

They had underestimated the effect his stay in hell had on his body. After Haymitch had unlocked the chains, Peeta had tried to get up and if Katniss hadn't caught him, he would have fallen face down on the floor. He had admitted to feeling faint and dizzy and had barely managed a trip to the bathroom with the Watcher's help.

"He looked well enough to me this morning when it was about fooling around with you." Haymitch deadpanned, leading the way downstairs where her sister was waiting. She didn't laugh or smile or even blush at that joke either and he let out another sigh, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Look, they've been through a lot and they're not gonna get better in one day. Their bodies need time to recover their strength and I'm guessing they're gonna be a bit fucked up in the head for a while… Best thing we can do for now is give them space and safety to piece themselves back together, alright?" That was deep for Haymitch so Katniss forced herself to nod her understanding. He squeezed her shoulder. "Hey, on the bright side, he seems more interested in sucking your face than strangling you so… You know. Progress."

"Haymitch!" she scoffed, shrugging him off with annoyance – and a little bit of amusement.

He was chuckling when he nudged her into the kitchen but his chuckles died as soon as he spotted Prim sitting at the table, clearly nervous. Katniss was nervous too.

This part, she wasn't sure about.

She sat next to Haymitch, on the opposite side of the table from Prim and it might not have been the best choice because it felt a little like they were the judges and Prim the accused party. Her sister must have felt that way too because she pulled on her sweater's sleeves until they covered her whole hands.

"Is Peeta okay?" Prim asked in a soft uncertain voice.

"All chains free." Haymitch said cheerfully – though Katniss figured the cheer was fake. "So be careful around him for a while, yeah? I don't think he'd hurt you, sweetheart, but better safe and all that…"

Prim nodded. "Cinna went out again, he said I should let you know."

Cinna was convinced Effie's mother had left town but he kept searching every day anyway. Katniss thought it was a way to escape the dead woman in their basement and she sort of understood that so she had made her peace with it.

"We need to talk to you about something." she said bluntly before Haymitch could continue the pleasantries. This was going to be tricky either way they did it and she wanted it over with. Prim looked apprehensive enough and… It was better to do it quickly. "Haymitch has friends in England you could go stay with for a while."

Silence dropped on the kitchen.

She hadn't been sure about this when Haymitch had suggested it and she still wasn't sure about it right then – she was even less sure now that she had heard him argue with said friends that very afternoon on the phone. He had worked out something with whoever Finnick was though and he said he trusted Mags with his life so…

"You're sending me away." Prim breathed out in a horrified whisper, her blue eyes darting from Haymitch to Katniss. "I apologized! You said… I will never do something that stupid again, I promise!"

"This ain't a punishment, sweetheart." Haymitch cut in, placing both hands down on the table. Katniss tried not to notice how bad the shaking was. "You're grounded. No TV, no fun, nothing. That's your punishment. And, obviously, the only way you're leaving the house now is during daylight and with an escort." He paused. "Thing is… That last part ain't a punishment either, that's gonna be your life until we stop Snow if you stay here."

"I'll do it." Prim said immediately. "I'll do everything you say. Just, please…"

"It could be an adventure." Katniss interrupted, trying to make it sound more exciting. "Haymitch's friends live in London, you know. Think about all the fun stuff you could do… You could go see a musical or something… You love that stuff…"

Prim's eyes were filling with tears that she tried and failed to blink away. Her sister was clearly panicking and Katniss felt the last of her anger fade away. She walked around the table and plopped on the seat next to Prim, wrapping her arms around her. The girl burst into sobs and Haymitch clucked his tongue, ill-at-ease and upset, before reaching across the table to grab Prim's hand.

"It ain't a punishment, sweetheart, and it ain't like we're giving you up, alright?" he insisted. "We just want you to be safe."

"Please, don't make me go. Please." Prim begged, clinging both to his hand and to Katniss' arm. "I'll be careful. I promise I will be. I don't want to leave. Please."

Haymitch met Katniss' eyes, the meaning in them clear. Your call, they said because he had already expressed his opinion on the subject but, at the end of the day, they also long ago agreed she was the one who called the shots when it came to important decisions about Prim. She may have relaxed in this whole guardianship but she would have accepted nothing less.

"You need to understand it's all gonna be different now." Katniss insisted. "We can't take any risk. You know what happened to Haymitch's brother…" Haymitch flinched like she had hit him but he didn't stop her from saying her piece. "That vampire… He's twisted. And when he figures out I have a sister… You're gonna be a target, Prim."

"I won't go out of the house after dark. Ever." Prim swore. "I will do everything you say. Let me stay with you. Katniss, please. It was one dumb mistake. I…"

"One dumb mistake killed my brother." Haymitch interrupted and when Prim opened her mouth he lifted a hand to prevent her from talking. "I ain't saying it to be mean. You're twelve. I don't expect you to be perfect all the time, sweetheart. But that's the thing… My brother knew all the risks, far better than you do 'cause we grow up in the business, and one dumb mistake was all it took. England… It's the safest place for you right now. I won't force this. I told Katniss it's her choice. But… Yeah. If you were mine…" He stopped, snorted and shook his head. "Fuck that, you are mine and I say sending you away is the smart thing because we care about you."

"We love you." Katniss corrected because really. She shot Haymitch a look and he rolled his eyes.

"Right. That." he mumbled. "No need to get all mushy."

"I love you too." Prim whispered. "That's why I want to stay. I want to help. I want…"

"You're not going to help." she growled. "You're too young."

"But I'm good at research." Prim argued. "And I'm good at first help. And… And… I won't leave the house again until you kill that vampire. How about that? I can be homeschooled."

Haymitch snorted in disbelief. "You prefer house arrest to London?"

"It's not really house arrest, is it?" Prim shrugged. "There's the garden. And the Village is safe, right? I can still walk around. And I'd be safe enough with one of you outside so I can still go grocery shopping or something if I go stir crazy…" She turned her very effective pleading eyes to Haymitch. "I don't want to go to London. I'm sure your friends are really nice but I want to stay with my family because if something happens and I'm not here it will haunt me the rest of my life."

Haymitch faltered.

Probably because, yet again, Prim had demonstrated more maturity than Katnissdid on a daily basis.

"If something happens to you I will never recover." Katniss told her softly.

"Nothing is going to happen to me." Prim argued. "I'm not the super hero here. I'll be extra-careful."

"Famous last words." Haymitch muttered, searching Katniss' eyes.

Katniss had already been torn about it. Sending Prim to strangers was not reassuring to her, having her out of her sight where she could keep her safe… And now her sister was begging her to keep her – which was what her instinct told her was best in the first place…

"If things escalate or if you do something stupid again, you're on the first flight." Katniss decided, aiming for stern but barely managing to hide her relief. Being parted from Prim, she wasn't sure she would have been able to bear it. "No discussion, no negotiation."

Prim squealed in joy and relief, tossed her arms around her neck and squeezed the life out of her. "I love you."

"I love you too, little duck." she whispered in her sister's blond hair.

Prim escaped her arms and rounded the table to hug Haymitch tight too. "I love you."

Her Watcher patted the girl's back, clearly softening. "Do me a solid and stay alive no matter what, sweetheart."

Prim dutifully promised and escaped the kitchen, clearly hoping to escape that particular conversation too. Katniss waited until she was certain her sister was out of earshot to confront Haymitch. "You think it's a mistake to let her stay."

He took a long deep breath, measuring his words like he rarely did. "I don't think it's a mistake. I just hope we won't regret it." He rubbed his face. "The homeschooling thing… We should consider it. And… You might have to drop out and do the same."

He said the last part reluctantly but she waved it off. "I don't care about school."

He didn't press the issue for now and she wasn't surprised.

They had bigger fish to fry than her graduating or not.

°O°O°O°O°

Every time she woke up, Effie felt like she was underwater.

There was a persistent humming in her ears that would never go away, it was extremely annoying. Her body wouldn't respond to her, too heavy and too limp for her to control. Her brain wasn't working so well either – or so she surmised because it was hard to keep track of one thought, to process what was happening, what had happened… And, of course, there was that missing piece of her, the gap in her chest, the cold empty void where her magic used to be… How hollow she felt…

Opening her eyes took more effort than it ought.

Opening her eyes to find very familiar blue ones staring back at her was really not what she had expected and a scream escaped her throat. Except she didn't have the strength for screaming and it ended up a pathetic whimper.

'Attitude, Euphemia.' her mother chided.

The words echoed in her mind but it took her a second to realize that because… She had gotten really used to telepathy in the last few months.

"You're not really here…" she mumbled.

'How could I be?' Elindra huffed. 'Your warlock warded the Village against me. It took me hours to figure out how to sneak an astral projection through.' She pursed her lips. 'You do not look good.'

So not telepathy, after all… She could see it now that she knew to look for it though. Her mother was a bit on the transparent side. A projection of her body with her mind. From a good distance away given how tenuous the connection seemed to be.

"That tends to happen when you fall into a hell portal…" she rasped out. She tried to sit but she barely managed to push herself up a little. Haymitch's bed dwarfed her. "Do you have any idea what you have unleashed, Mother?"

'Oh, pish posh.' Elindra dismissed, waving her hand. 'I told you to stay out of it.'

"That is so not the issue here." she snapped. "Because of you…"

'You are alive.' Elindra cut her off, clearly not interested in her reproaches. 'I suppose that Watcher and your Slayer are not entirely useless after all. Still, you are precious to me, Effie, so do us both a favor and do not put yourself in mortal peril until I can shake Cinna lose and come back for you.'

"I am precious to you?" she asked, more surprised than she perhaps ought to be. Her mother had never worded her feelings that way before – or in any way, really. She stared at her face, avid for a glimpse of maternal love or… But there was nothing of note to read on her mother's face. Only…

Was that greed?

'Of course, you are precious to me.' Elindra hummed with a visibly fake smile. There was a touch of worry in her gaze too. 'And if I could, I would come to retrieve you right now. I chanced it for too long as it is.' Her mother shook her head. 'Well, I will have to send Cinna on a wild goose chase first, he is quite intent on killing me, you see. With those new powers it should be easy to evade him though. And, of course, I have that pesky problem waiting for me on the west coast… I will deal with all that. Then, I will come back for you.'

Was it because her head felt like it was full of cotton that it felt more like a threat than a comfort?

She frowned. "Mother…"

Elindra suddenly turned her head and her image vanished. Effie couldn't feel around with her magic like she usually would have – and that felt like having a missing limb you tried to use when you knew there was nothing left there – but she was fairly certain Elindra was gone.

A second later, Haymitch appeared on the threshold with a tray and a forced smile on his lips that didn't reach his eyes. "Good, you're awake. Got you some mashed potatoes. Let's see if you can eat that…"

She stared at him for a moment, her brain needing a minute to catch up, and then she rubbed the exhaustion out of her eyes. Or tried to. Her coordination wasn't the best and her hands were as unsteady as his were when he went too long without a drink.

She felt weak and useless, not to mention ugly. She had caught one glimpse of her in the bathroom mirror and it had been enough. Her hair was awful, she looked gaunt and the bags under her eyes practically reached her cheekbones.

She missed his coming closer and carefully setting the tray next to her on the nightstand. She also missed him sitting down on the mattress just as cautiously. He reached for her hand and she tried not to be too obvious when she moved hers out of reach. He tensed but drew his back without a word or an attempt to force the issue.

"News?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing much. I sent Katniss on patrol but I told her to avoid the Cornucopia and the Capitol. I… I think we need to play it safe for now and I had to stay here to keep an eye on you lot so… I don't like sending her out without back-up right now." He swallowed hard and averted his eyes. "Tried to send Prim to England but she won't hear of it and Katniss said she could stay so… That's that, I guess. Peeta's still confused and he's gonna need a while to be back on his feet. Bit like you. Otherwise he's doing okay." He cleared his throat. "Cinna hasn't found your mother yet. He thinks she ran out of town. She left a trail so he's gonna head out after her soon and… I'm not sure I can stop him. I'm not sure I want to."

He was apologizing, she realized, because Cinna intended to kill Elindra.

"My mother can take care of herself." she dismissed because that was the truth. And she honestly wasn't sure that Cinna, all powerful as he was, could find her if she didn't want to be found. She was more concerned with what Elindra intended to do with all her new powers. "Anything else?"

The mashed potatoes smelled good but it also left her a bit nauseous. She couldn't tell if it was hunger or the fact that she couldn't remember the last time she had had anything to eat. Her magic had been keeping her alive for months. She had burned herself like a candle and now…

"I took a look at your car. Nothing's wrong with it that I can see so I'm guessing it's magic." he added. "I'm gonna have Cinna check it over."

There was something he wasn't telling her, she could guess that much, but she was too tired to try and weasel it out of him so she chose the blunt approach. "How are you?"

"Good." he said quickly. "You know… Sober. Shoulder's stiff but my head's still working so…" He shrugged again. "Cinna's really shit at healing magic."

Healing magic, in her experience, was more of a natural gift than something you learned. There were spells, of course, but… For her, it had always been more about the natural flow of her power.

Her missing power.

"Sober?" she repeated, preferring not to obsess over the rest.

"Yeah." he sighed. "Long story. Or short one, I guess. Whatever. I need my wits about me."

"I see." she whispered.

"Coin wants you to call her when you're up to it." he told her and she wondered if she was imagining how awkward the whole conversation was or… Was it her exhaustion or was it… weird?

Of course, it was weird.

How could it be anything but weird when she had said what she had said and he hadn't even answered? Oh the silence that had followed her confession… She had thought she was going to die. She hadn't wanted to go with any regrets. But that silence… That silence…

It had probably hurt her more than everything the Peacekeeper had done to her.

"Effie."

She looked up at him, not having realized she had started to curl up again.

His eyes were soft and full of something that could have been tenderness. It probably was.

Tenderness or fondness weren't love though.

"Let's try to eat something, alright?" he insisted.

It quickly turned out she wasn't strong enough to bring the spoon to her mouth more than a couple of times but he took over for her and, if it was a bit awkward to be spoon fed by someone who she might or might not still be in a not so casual relationship with, she was too tired to care about the indignity of it all.

She couldn't finish the plate. It wasn't very long before she felt uncomfortably full. This time, he let her curl up again and even made sure the blankets were up to her neck, which was nice if a little odd.

He sat there and watched her and she stared at the wall, trying to find the courage to address the elephant in the room.

She didn't want to talk about it though.

She didn't even want to talk to him.

There was only one person she wanted to talk to right then.

"Can I borrow your phone? I lost mine." she asked, glancing at the clock. "You don't mind an international call, right?"

It was the middle of the night in England, not at all a decent time and, truly, she should have waited at least a couple of hours so it was closer to dawn but… There was a lump in her throat and she was so tired. She felt like a child again and…

"You don't have to call the Council now." Haymitch frowned.

"I don't want to call the Council." she whispered.

He slipped his phone from his pocket and then tapped it against his other palm for a few seconds, a hesitant look on his face. "You're okay with me sleeping here tonight?"

"It is your bed." she argued.

"Ain't what I asked." he pointed out.

Something vulnerable flashed in his eyes but she couldn't… She couldn't deal with that right now. "I don't mind you sleeping next to me, Haymitch."

Next to me not with me.

She hadn't meant to make the distinction but… He looked dejected when he nodded and handed her the phone. He grabbed the tray and left her alone while she fumbled through his contacts. There were a lot of Watchers names on that list she was certain he had never spoken to before but the Council was a network and you never knew who you would need.

She tapped on the right name and waited, pressing the phone harder to her ear than necessary.

He answered after three rings.

"Mr Abernathy." he said, his tone cool and professional. She knew him so well, though, she heard the anxiety underneath. "I was dreading this call. Is Effie…"

"Hello, Caesar." she cut him off. "I am sorry to wake you up…"

"My dear girl…" her former Watcher breathed out, relief and awe all rolled into one.

It was so good to hear him, so good, she burst into tears and told him everything.

Because when she fell apart, Caesar was always the one to put her back together...

Weeeeell, Prim is staying, for better or for worse she will experience the joy of lockdown XD And hayffie doesn't seem like they have their groove back, I'm afraid... On the plus side, she called her adoptive dad and we got a Caesar cameo XD

Only one chapter left! I hope you enjoyed this!

(I'm having a hayffie advent calendar thing if you're interested, one OS a day except of chaptered stories day so... keep an eye out, they will be published here, on tumblr and on ff)