Chapter 7: Backfire

A/N: I'm so sorry I took so long to update! I've had my French GCSE oral, Art GCSE preparation, Maths coursework, Stats coursework and I'm sure you couldn't care less, so here's chapter 7 for you.

Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I own nothing…

Kestrel danced as if after this dance her life would end: as if nothing and no one existed but this ma, this music, this small spinning stage. He was her enemy, the man she must destroy, and he was her partner, her lover, herself: for as long as the dance lasted, they were two bodies become one.

- Slaves of the Mastery – William Nicholson

As the early sunlight filtered in through the thin blue curtains of the Head's common room, a head of messy black hair began to stir.

James Potter woke up to find himself looking at the glossy red curls of Lily Evans. His lips curved into an involuntary smile, as he looked at her, so serene and beautiful, as she lay curled in his arms, her gentle breathing tickling his chest. He reached out a hand to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, as he did so, he noticed a tear clinging to her eyelashes, and the previous night's events all came rushing back to him; just as Lily began to stir.

Her eyes flitted open, and immediately she realised there was something wrong. She swivelled her head round and found herself face to face with a slightly uneasy-looking James Potter. Lily's eyes widened in horror and she jumped up from the surprisingly comforting warmth of James' arms.

Lily's mind was in turmoil. What was she doing here with Potter? What happened last night? Scores of emotions flooded through her: fury, anger, but as she began to remember the events of the previous evening, they changed to regret, sadness and finally, mortification. She hid her face in her hands and sprinted out of the room.

James made no move to stop her. He watched the portrait slam shut behind her, regretfully. He had to make a huge effort in order to restrain himself, more than anything, James wanted to run after her and comfort her in any way he could. But he knew that she needed to be alone, so he let her go.

Lily didn't stop running until she had got outside. It was still cold outside, and the grass was laced with early morning dew. She sat down under a tree by the lake, hugging her knees to her chest, and went over everything in her head. There should have been a feeling of relief, but all she felt was a sense of failure and embarrassment. She told herself that James Potter was the least of her worries, yet she couldn't get him out of her head. Lily shook her head angrily and stood up.

Pacing round the lake in the weak morning sunshine, working out how she was going to set things right and forget about all that had happened and concentrate on the future.

James watched Lily from the window of the head's common room. He saw her stand up, and start pacing, and seeing the frown of concentration on her face, he knew that she was strong enough to pull herself together. But he was determined to help in any way possible.

And so it was, with the help of the Marauders and Hannah (who had bugged her for days to tell her what was wrong) that Lily pulled herself out of her depression. Whenever she felt her mind starting to wander, she would bury herself in her work and head girl duties, occupying her mind with anything but and not allowing herself to think of what used to her family. Or that evening with Potter. That was another thing she had taught herself not to think about, just the thought of what state she was in, was enough to make her cringe. But of all the people to collapse in front of, why did it have to be Potter? And why had he even bothered. She had made it completely obvious over the time she had known him that she wanted nothing to do with him, so she was completely lost as to why he had helped. Lately, he had been much nicer to her, helping where he could. Lily forced her mind away from James Potter, something she had had to do increasingly often lately, and back to her potions essay, she couldn't let her grades go down because of personal life and daydreams. But subconsciously, Lily was warming to James. Just a bit, but warming to him nevertheless.
'This is wrong' Hannah sighed, looking sadly out onto the sparkling lake, where now and the tentacles of the giant squid would appear, as they basked in the sunlight. It was one of those rare sunny days at this time of the year, the air, even in the sunlight, cold and bitter, carrying the chill of winter. She was lying on the grass by the willow tree overlooking the lake with the four Marauders, all of whom looked concerned. 'It's a Saturday afternoon and she's locked herself in her room for the whole day again. She hasn't been out once!'

'Yeah, I had to send up breakfast and lunch to her from the kitchen with Pazazu today.' Hannah gave him a surprised look. 'Pazazu – the house elf,' he clarified. Hannah nodded, even though the house elf wasn't the reason for her surprise. Over the last few weeks, James had been surprising her by performing all sorts of small tasks for Lily and doing her favours wherever he could. Hannah had known James since first year and he had never acted like this before: he spent so much of his time doing things to help Lily, and strangest off all, he took no credit for any of the things he did. In fact, Lily didn't even know about most of the tings James had been doing for her, even Hannah was sure she didn't know about half the times James had gone out of his way to help. Hannah shook her head slightly and turned her attention beck to the conversation.

'It isn't normal the way she's behaving. It's just…unhealthy…'

'To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with Evans, she was always a bit of a workaholic.' Peter shrugged and promptly received glares from all those around him. 'What!' the stares intensified.

'Remind me why we accepted Peter into the Marauders?' Remus asked coldly, shooting Peter evils.'

'Because you felt sorry for him Moony, because you like being all heroic, because he was a loner, because you said you knew what it felt like to be dif- Ouch!' Sirius was cut off by a kick in the shin from Remus. 'You know what she needs?' Sirius smirked 'She needs some cheering up!' and flashing a cheeky grin, he leant in to whisper (rather unnecessarily) his 'ingenious plan'.

The next morning, the Marauders came down to breakfast early, in order to get seats at the very end of the table. None of them liked porridge, but it was vital to Sirius' 'cunning plan', so, they got Peter to have the porridge. Or, as it happened, three bowls of porridge as they waited for Lily to come down.

When she did finally come down, there was a place waiting for her between Remus and Hannah, into which she sank gratefully. She picked up the smallest yoghurt she could find, along with a spoon and started eating, avoiding the gaze of those surrounding her, especially James'.

'Why are you starving yourself?' James blurted

'There is a difference, Potter, between starving yourself and not being hungry.' she snapped.

'Yeah, there is a difference. And you're starving yourself!' Lily bit back a sarcastic reply, not wishing to get into an argument first thing in the morning. She was unbelievably tired, as she had got next to no sleep over the last few nights, she'd spent hours tossing and turning in her bed, unable to fall asleep. The hours of sleep she did manage to get, consisted of dreams of the dark mark, flames and the wish that she had died with her parents. On the rare occasion she did catch a few hours of sleep, she would wake up covered in a cold sweat and screaming. Last night she hadn't been able to face the dreams she knew were inevitable, so she was up all night working out extra-curricular timetables for the first years.

Now she had dark rings under her eyes, which couldn't even be concealed by her makeup.

'You know Lily, you need to get yourself a boyfriend,' Hannah stated suddenly 'you know, take your mind off head girl stuff.' At this remark, both Remus and James stiffened slightly. No one noticed.

'I have way too much work on my plate at the moment, without the extra hassle of a boyfriend.' Lily sighed, exasperated. Hannah shrugged her shoulders resignedly. She hadn't expected anything more.

Just then, Lucius Malfoy stood up at the Slytherin table and started walking out of the Great Hall, approaching the Marauder's end of the Gryffindor table. If Lily had looked up at that moment, she would have seen James and Sirius exchanging glances and Remus looking on with mild disapproval, but doing nothing to intervene. Just as Malfoy was walking past the Gryffindor table, Sirius pointed his wand at his feet from under the tablecloth and Lucius tripped. A piece of elastic had appeared from nowhere, stretched between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, right across Malfoy's path. He went catapulting into it with surprising force, bounced off it and managed to land headfirst into Peter's bowl of porridge.

'YES!' shouted Sirius and James giving each other high-fives, even Remus was unable to contain his laughter. As for Peter, he was rolling helplessly on the floor with laughter, spattered with porridge. Only Lily didn't find it funny, with a quick glance at Hannah, who had tears of laughter seeping out of the corners of her eyes, she stood up and ran over to Lucius, helping him out of the porridge. She grabbed a napkin and started mopping up the porridge off Lucius' face, James and Sirius looking on incredulously.

'Fucking Marauders!' Lucius was muttering angrily under his breath. 'You know, you'd be much better off with me than them idiots' he said, turning to Lily. Her eyes widened, as did those of the Marauders. Since when did Slytherins ask out Gryffindors? She glanced over at the latter, to find James just laughing all the more. Lily glared. She had been right about him from the very start, he was an arrogant prat with a hugely oversized ego. So Potter thought that the idea of a Gryffindor going out with a Slytherin was absolutely hilarious. She was seething inside, she had no idea why it hurt so much to see him laughing at her, but whatever the reason, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

'You're right' She said to an astonished Lucius, her eyes on James

'What, you're saying you'll go out with me?' he smirked

'Yeah, why not?' she shrugged tearing her eyes away from James, pecked Lucius' cheek and went off to get her books, leaving Lucius alone with a crowd of astonished Gryffindors.

'Looks like I win again Potter' he sneered as he turned on his heel and left the Great Hall. He was already planning how he could use going out with the Head Girl to his advantage; and his mind was already swirling with possibilities.

'Ok, was it me, or did Evans just agree to go out with Malfoy?' Sirius said, breaking the silence at the Gryffindor table.

'For once, it wasn't just you mate.' Remus muttered quietly, still in shock

'What d'you think of that Prongs?' Peter said 'Evans and Malfoy.' James glared at him, but Peter didn't take hint 'Lily Malfoy, sounds a tad strange don't you think?' At that, James slammed his hands down on the table, stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall.

'Methinks you went a bit too far Wormtail.' Sirius noted. Remus watched James' fast retreating back with a dark look. He wasn't the only one who hadn't liked the happenings of the last few minutes, just not everyone made a huge scene, he thought.

James wasn't making a scene. He couldn't physically take it any longer. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. Lily had chosen Malfoy over him. The same thought went round and round in his head. After all the effort he had put in to being nice to Lily and helping her wherever he could, she did this to him! He'd seen the look in her eyes, Lily meant to hurt James. She had succeeded, and much more so than she had ever intended to.