George, as it happened, was asleep at that particular moment. He was having a nightmare…one he hadn't had in a long time. The big lion lay on his rock, twitching and grunting, returning in his mind to an event that would forever haunt him. George's encounter with Alex had caused painful memories to resurface.
It was dark and cloudy. The zoo was empty of people. The sound of raspy breathing hung heavy in the air. Inevitability settled around two struggling figures.
George looked up into the fiery brown eyes above him. They were so much like his own, and seemed to burn a hole in his heart. They were the eyes of his son.
His son, who had finally risen up against him.
Lying on his back, George could see the fury in the face of the younger lion standing over him. He tasted blood in his mouth and felt a trickle from his nose. And for the first time ever, he knew defeat.
Or was it the first time?
Like a bad movie, the events of the past played relentlessly out.
George knew he was running. He was confused and angry. How could his own son do this to him? It couldn't have been avoided; it was the natural course of things for a son of a lion to challenge his father. But the son wasn't supposed to win. Not this time! The weak was the one who lost.
"I am not weak!" George roared. He saw moving shapes ahead of him. Gazelles.
Something clicked in George's mind. It told him to stop before it was too late. Stubbornly, George ignored it. He ran faster.
The gazelles saw George running at them and scattered. All but one, who struggled to stand his ground. "George! What's wrong? What happened to you?Are you okay?"
It was Jeenko.
Then George remembered.
But it was too late.
Hunger and frustration took over. "Do I look okay?" George heard himself snarl as he launched himself into the air at his friend. His claws were extended and his teeth were bared. Jeenko looked terrified. The gazelle screamed and ran for his life, but George caught him.
Then George split into two lions. One in midair, and one sitting a short distance away.
He watched his younger self attack his best friend.
"NO!" George cried.
The young George didn't listen.
George ran up and tackled his other self, causing him to lose his grip on Jeenko. The gazelle collapsed, sides heaving, into the dry brown grass.
The two Georges glared at each other. "How dare you interfere with my life, old man? My business is MY business!" the younger George growled.
"It's also MY business!" George snapped back. He positioned himself between the younger George and the injured gazelle.
The younger George narrowed his eyes, "Get out of my way!"
"No." George said, "I won't."
"Fine, have it your way!" younger George lunged at George. George rose up to meet him. The two lions fought, one savagely, one determinedly. Both of them swiped and snapped, punched, kicked, defended, and attacked. They seemed to be at an impasse.
Then George stopped. He sat absolutely still.
Younger George stared, "What are you doing? Foolish of you! I could destroy you now!"
George closed his eyes sadly. This had gone on too long. Far too long. "Go ahead, then." George said, "I can't stand the fighting."
The younger lion paced in front of the older. He tried to pounce on older George several times, but both times, he stopped himself. Finally, the younger George sat down and looked at the older one. Gone was the savage look from his face. It was replaced by bewilderment and amazement.
"I can't do it!" younger George cried, "I don't even think I really want to!"
"I know," George said, "It's okay."
Younger George saw Jeenko on the ground behind George and looked miserable. "Did I really try to kill Jeenko?"
The gazelle stood up and walked to them, "Yes, you did." His sandy coat was torn and bleeding. He limped as he walked.
George's eyes teared up at the sight of his old friend, "Jeenko, How could he do that to you?"
Jeenko looked at George, "He's you, George. You did this. As hard as it is to accept, that lion over there is you, and will always be a part of you."
George looked down, "I don't want him to be, Jeenko. If it weren't for him, we'd still be together."
"Maybe," Jeenko replied, "Maybe not. But while we were together, we had the most fun of our lives, didn't we?"
"I don't remember!" George realized with a start.
"I do." Younger George said, "Like when we fooled that keeper into leaving the gate open so we could sneak into the heated giraffe house one winter! Or when we stayed up all night so that we'd be sleepy and boring when the zoo guests saw us!"
"Exactly!" Jeenko answered, grinning.
George smiled faintly, "I'd forgotten about that."
Jeenko nodded," I know, you tried to forget everything that we did together because it hurt too much. You tried to forget me."
"And me." Younger George added.
George looked up at the two of them, "I couldn't forgive myself…"
"But you need to!" Jeenko interrupted him, "You've been hurting all this time because you miss me! Well, I'm still here, and I always have been! A part of me still lives inside of you…in your memories. Just remember me, and I'll never leave you!"
"I…I can't remember you!" George cried, a tear slipping down his cheek. Rain suddenly poured down from the dark sky and fell all around the grieving lion. He cleared his throat ineffectively, "All I can see is you lying there, nearly dead, and me…with your blood on my claws!"
Younger George looked strangely calm and peaceful. Sunlight streamed down in front of him, making a path in the dark wetness. The younger lion looked pleadingly at the older one, "Forgive me! Please! I can help you remember! I can help you keep Jeenko alive in your heart, but you have to accept me as a part of you. A part of your past! George, it's too late for me to learn from you. You can't change what happened. But maybe you can learn from me. From my mistakes. From my thoughts and dreams. You could learn how to be happy again, like you were before the fight with our son."
George sat in the rainy darkness. He looked at his former self. Younger George was sitting in a grassy meadow. Jeenko stepped up to join him in the sunny world. The gazelle's wounds disappeared.
Jeenko smiled down at George, "Do you remember me like this?" The gazelle looked happy and trusting.
Not frightened and hurt.
Not dead.
George took a tentative step toward the sunny meadow, "I want to…can I?"
Jeenko nodded, "The memories are still there, George. Stop shutting them away!"
George blinked, "I'm not sure I can do it. I…I'm weak."
Young George frowned, "No, you are not!"
George looked surprised, "You know, you're right!" He bounded up the sunbeams and into the meadow. The two Georges merged.
"You did it!" a voice said. George realized that he was the one talking! "I did it! We did it!" he looked happily at Jeenko, "Thanks for helping me."
Jeenko shrugged, "It was in you to find this peace all this time. But until you met Alex, you weren't looking for it."
George sighed blissfully as he sank into the grassy meadow. He thought he saw his younger self lay down first, and he smiled, "None of that! From now on, we do everything together, at the same time! We are one!"
"Remember me." Jeenko said as George felt himself fading out.
"I will." George promised.
He woke up and carefully stepped over his sleeping lionesses. George walked to his favorite place overlooking the gazelle yard.
And he remembered.