Whimpers and cries drew Erik out of the first deep sleep he had had in months. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and glanced at the clock, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Erik looked over at Meg. She was thrashing around, crying, and twisted in the blankets. Erik walked over to the bed and cradled Meg in his arms, stroking her forehead that had sweat dripping down it. "Shh, it's okay," he rocked her slightly and her eyes flew open. Meg gasped and pushed against Erik's chest.
"No," she breathed, only half awake.
Erik dropped his arms and got off the bed. "My apologies."
Meg shook her head as she registered who she had pushed away. "Erik," she could feel her eyes tear up a bit and a sob caught in her throat.
Wordlessly, Erik handed her a dress and some under things. "You can change in there," his voice was dull. "I will turn around so that you can go in." He pointed to a door on the left listlessly.
Meg bit her lip as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. After Erik had turned around she scurried into the washroom and before she dressed, she stared at herself, disbelieving. Large, ugly welts and scars decorated her torso and legs. Her eyes were void of any spark that they should have held, and her hair fell limp around her face and shoulders. There were to many yellowing bruises to count all over he body, and there was quite a lump on her forehead where she must have gotten hit by something… or someone.
She brushed away the thoughts and began dressing. No sooner had she started than she realized that she wasn't going to be able to lace up her corset. Meg chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment; she had no choice but to ask Erik for help. Taking a deep breath she cracked the door open and stuck her head outside. "Erik, I need your help."
Erik's head jerked up, "You need my help getting dressed?" he asked, a bit confused, and slightly shocked.
"I can't lace up my corset."
"Okay…" he got up slowly and walked into the bathroom with Meg. Well this is awkward. He thought
"Will you lace it up please? Don't tighten it very much though," Meg had her back turned to Erik.
"Of course," Erik began to pull a bit on the strings causing Meg to wince. "If you are in that much pain then why are you even wearing this?"
"Because it is proper and we are going to need to do some shopping unless you brought me more clothes." Meg could feel Erik's fingers brush against her back and she wished she was facing him so that she could see him.
Erik ducked his head as his deft hands finished. "You're right; I hadn't thought about afterwards, I'm sorry."
"It's not a problem; I was going to need new clothes anyway. And at least you thought about saving me…" Meg trailed off and slipped the dress over her head then turned to face Erik. "Thank you so much," she whispered. Somehow her arms found their way around his waist and she buried her head in his chest. Sensations that weren't quite new, but had been dormant inside Erik, awoke with a roar. Tell her, the voice said. Tell her now while she is close, who knows when your next chance may be. Decidedly, Erik ignored the voice and kissed the top of Meg's head, inhaling the faint sent of lilacs that still lingered on her person.
A liquidy warmth seeped through Erik's shirt and he pulled back to find that Meg was crying… again! "Mon ange, why are you crying?" He put a hand under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his eyes.
"You've been nothing but good to me, and I've done nothing but push you away. I can't get all those images of everything that happened out of my head," a sob tore itself out of her throat, "Erik you have no idea how horrible it was."
"I do know Meg,"
"What?" Sudden shock spattered over Meg's face.
"The night I came to find you, I saw them take you in the next room. I followed…" Erik trailed off awkwardly.
"You mean you saw me… And you didn't… Erik why didn't you just come get me then?" Confused and angry, Meg just stared up at Erik.
"Would you rather us both be killed?" He spat back, but his hold on Meg remained gentle.
Defeated and deflated, Meg dropped her head and shook it. "No, but Erik, you have no idea," she sniffed, "I hope you don't anyway."
Erik just sighed and tightened his arms around her waist. "When do we go home?" A muffled question came up from his shirt. Erik was about to answer but he was interrupted buy a knock on the door.
"Meg!" more rapping, "Erik, open up NOW!"
"Who is it?" Erik released his hold on Meg and went to the door.
"It's Scarlett, open the door please this is an emergency. Your lives are in danger!"
Meg rushed over to the door and yanked it open. "What?"
"Robert died last night. Apparently you hit him just right, and it drove the bone in his nose up into his brain and he was found dead earlier this morning. The police are looking for the both of you; you have to get out of America." The words came out in an animated rush.
"Meg pack whatever few things are in this room, I am going to go pay…" Erik walked out of the room leaving Meg and Scarlett to pack. They didn't have to pack anything really, but Scarlett had brought Meg some dresses and other things.
"Scarlett, are you sure?" Meg took the dresses with apprehension, they were quite nice too.
"Hun, you can't go around looking like that. Erik is all-smart and you don't look like you came from anywhere high up on the food chain. You do look nice though." She added quickly. Guiltily, Meg packed the dresses and Erik came rushing back into the room.
"Scarlett is there a ship leaving today? I thought the earliest was leaving tomorrow." Wordlessly she handed him two tickets, Scarlett picked up their bags and shoved them into their hands.
"Now go!"
Erik and Meg rushed onto the dock and handed a man their tickets. With a nod he waved them on through, but Meg hung back for a moment. "Sir?"
"Yes ma'am?" The thin man answered her with a thick Irish accent.
"Would you be so kind as to send a message to Scarlett Jacobs for me?" The man looked at Meg shocked and Meg sagged a bit. "Never mind."
"No miss, I would be glad to but I can't,"
"Why ever not?"
"Miss Jacobs was found dead three years ago."
Meg choked and coughed for a moment before going deathly white and clinging to Erik. "How did she die?" Erik voiced the words that Meg couldn't manage.
"She was… raped," he said in a small voice. "God rest her gentle soul"
Meg gaped and mouthed wordlessly at the man. "Come along dear," Erik said sticking to the pretense that they were married as per their agreement made only moments before. Snapping her mouth shut, Meg allowed herself to be steered onto the boat.
Once they came into their room, they were faced with the same problem that Erik had had with the viscount. Upon closer inspection, Erik realized it was the same ship. "Damn," he swore under his breath. "I'll be right back Meg, I am going to go and get a blanket and pillow."
"Okay," Meg answered. To her own ears she sounded a bit crestfallen and disappointed, and she had no idea why. It's not like I want to sleep with him, she thought. I am not a whore, and I don't sleep with men I am not married to.
But you did you filthy little whore. A nasty voice bit the back of Meg's mind.
Not by my choice!
But you did. Meg Giry is a filthy little whore. Whore. Whore. Whore. A filthy little whore. What makes you think Erik is going to want a soiled woman? A soiled woman at his side whose innocence he cannot enjoy? Who is ever going to want you, you filthy little whore?
"No, stop," the voice chanted over and over in her mind. Meg Giry, filthy whore.
"No please stop. I'm not, I didn't want to! No please, please just stop." Tears spilled down her cheeks and she sank to her knees. Whore. Her sobs got louder and seemed to echo off the walls of the cabin, and come back to taunt her. Whore. Sobs turned into screams and Meg wound her fingers into her hair and curled down so that her forehead rested on her knees. "NO! STOP! MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Unbeknownst to Meg, Erik had come back from his small mission to find her screaming, and on the verge of pulling out her hair. "I'm NOT A WHORE!" Meg beat her tiny fists on her head, trying to beat out the taunting voice. She began rocking back and forth hugging herself tightly.
Erik was terrified. He had never seen anyone this traumatized before, he was the only one he knew that had ever acted like that, and that was not something he could witness. He had no idea that this was how horrible it looked. With all the stealth he possessed he crept up behind Meg and knelt. "Meg," he said softly. When she didn't seem to hear him and continued crying, he put his arms around her and picked her up. She ground her fists into her eyes and continued crying at an alarming volume. Erik walked over to the cot and sat down holding Meg. "Meg, shush mon chéri, vous êtes sûr," he crooned softly, rocking her till she quieted.
"I'm a filthy whore." She whispered softly.
"Non, no you are not. You had no choice in what happened. I should have protected you. I am sorry, so sorry."
"You were almost killed Erik." Meg felt him nod slightly. "What would I have done if you were killed?" Erik's silence answered Meg in multitudes. "I would have either killed myself, or been killed. You didn't die, I'm safe, and we are both here."
"But you had to go through so much."
"But I'm alive."
Erik sighed and for the first time in so long he felt content. With Meg in his arms he felt as if his tortured life was finally falling into place and that he wasn't going to have to fight for his life anymore.
"How did you get here anyway?" Meg rested her head on Erik's shoulder.
"That tickles." Erik could feel Meg's breath whispering against the skin on his neck.
"I know, answer my question."
Erik chuckled. "I had to go to the de Changy's for help. The viscount came with me as far as New York, and then sailed back to Paris."
"I don't imagine that went well."
"I threatened to cut off his limbs and throw him out to sea."
Meg laughed. "You didn't!"
"Yes indeed I did." Meg laughed and snuggled closer to Erik. "I'm sleepy."
With a sigh, Erik stood up and put Meg down on the cot and pulled the covers up over her. "Bonne nuit Meg." He laid a soft kiss on her forehead and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Do not worry; I will be back when you wake up."
Meg smiled and burrowed down deeper in the blankets, enveloped in their warmth. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was fast asleep.
Once again Erik woke up to cries that came from Meg's mouth as she slept. He untangled himself from the blanket he was using and went over and sat on the cot. And again he gathered Meg up in his arms and hummed to her till she calmed and woke. Only this time, she didn't push away. "Sing," she whispered.
"And in my twisted face
"There's not the slightest trace
"Of anything that even hints at kindness
"And from my tortured shape
"No comfort, no escape
"I see, but deep within is utter blindness
"Hopeless
"As my dream dies
"As the time flies
"Love a lost illusion
"Helpless
"Unforgiven
"Cold and driven
"To this sad conclusion
"No beauty could move me
"No goodness improve me
"No power on earth, if I can't love her
"No passion could reach me
"No lesson could teach me
"How I could have loved her and make her love me too
"If I can't love her, then who?
"Long ago, I should have seen
"All the things I could have been
"Careless and unthinking I moved onward
"No pain could be deeper
"No life could be cheaper
"No point anymore if I can't love her
"No spirit could win me
"No hope left within me
"Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
"But it's not to be
"If I can't love her
"Let the world be done with me." Erik finished the song softly and looked down at Meg who was smiling to herself.
"I like that song."
"I'm glad," Erik said. "Can you sleep now?" Answered by a nod, Erik got up to move but was stopped by Meg hand on his arm.
"Don't go," she bit her lip at his expression. "Can you just sleep next to me? Make me feel better? I think I would feel better if I woke up and knew no one had left."
"I would never leave you Meg."
"I know, but can you just humor me?"
Erik nodded slowly and climbed under the covers next to Meg. Due to the smallness of the cot they had to practically lay on top of each other; Erik's arm under Meg's head, her head on his chest and arm around his waist, as well as his around hers and her leg thrown over his. It would seem to be a very opportune position, but somehow neither of them thought about that. They both felt safe, secure, and loved.
"Thank you," Meg pressed a small kiss to Erik's bare shoulder.
"Your welcome. Thank you for trusting me," Erik kissed the top of Meg's head.
"Your welcome. Bonne nuit Erik."
"Bonne nuit Meg." Erik felt Meg yawn and almost instantly she was asleep. "Je t'aime," he whispered.
"Je t'aime," she whispered back. Erik sucked in his breath; maybe she wasn't as asleep as he had thought.
A/N: hey guys. sorry if any of this seems any way unrealistic... i dunno how long she should be all scared and stuff. ive never gone through something like that and i hope that i never do. and i was asked for fluff so here it is. lol.
no hugs or kisses or food. still sick. but that doesnt mean you cant review! i still expect them!
kat
PS: heres the french translations... sorry they werent up earlier! i completely spaced it.
Mon ange: my angel
mon chéri, vous êtes sûr: my darling, you are safe
Bonne nuit: Good night
Je t'aime: I love you
If I forgot anything then tell me and i will put it up here. again sorry about not having it earlier! -knocks head against desk-