Disclaimer: While I do own a lot of Dark Shadows memorabilia, I do not own the rights to any of it.

Julia walked into the room with a very confused look on her face.

"Barnabas, I've just seen the paper today and it says we are in 1970."

"Yes, Julia. I know. Why is that surprising to you?"

"Well, I thought we were still in 1840."

"No. We came up the stairs into our own time, remember?"

"Oh yes. Wait, didn't we go into the parallel time room after that?"

"So we're in parallel time now?"

"I think so."

"Here, let me see that paper. Oh, Julia, look at the condition of this paper. It's all yellowed. You found an old one that somebody saved."

"Then we must be in a time after 1970."

"1995 maybe?"

"Let's peer out the window and try to deduce from the costuming of the people."

"Yes, good idea."

"How long have we been waiting, Barnabas?"

"An hour. Let's face it, Julia, people just don't pass by the Old House much."

"So how do we find out what time we're in?"

"Wait! Look at the Old House interior decoration."

"What about it?"

"It's decorated in the style of the late 18th century. We're in 1795."

"But, Barnabas, when you moved into the Old House you had Willie restore it to its original decoration."

"Oh. I'd forgotten about that."

"So now we're back to not knowing when we are."

"Have you seen any of the family recently?"

"I think I saw Quentin yesterday. Ooh, I've got it! We're in 1897."

"But Quentin's been in a lot of time periods. Plus he's immortal…"

"Yes. Well, maybe you were right and we are in 1995."

"But how will we ever find out if no one passes the Old House?"

"It's hopeless, Barnabas, we'll never be able to figure it out. Time is all so confusing. Wait, what's this on the floor near the door?"

"Oh, that's just today's newspaper. The paper boy always shoves it underneath the door."

"Today's paper?"

"Yes… Wait, Julia, what date does it say?"

"April 22, 1971."

"Julia, we are now in 1971! I hope you are no longer confused."

"No longer. Thank you so much for clearing that up, Barnabas."

Julia walked out of the room with a very happy expression on her face.