It was a quiet walk back to my house. Mom had gone over to talk to Uncle Han and Aunt Leia, while Dad waited at the scene for the crime techs.
I sat down on the couch right next to the arm. While Jysella laid down on it and placed her head on the arm next to me, her body laid out across me so she could comfortably wrap her arms around me. I absently stroked her hair and thought about us, how each of us were now orphan Padawans. How she was an orphan for real.
Then the thought of how her lips tasted ruined my concentration.
Smiling slightly, I remembered that Booster had offered to take her away from Ossus, to travel with him on the Errant Venture. Startled, I realized I did not know if she had decided to stay or leave. Suddenly afraid, I softly asked if she had made a decision on Booster's offer.
She looked up at me, and I could tell by her eyes that she was almost asleep. "I had made a decision, but now I don't know. I found something that might be worth staying on Ossus for."
She fell asleep then; leaving me to wonder if what she had found here was what I hoped it was while at the same time scared that it was.
The next day Jaina was released from the med center, originally we were planning on having a party for her, but now we had to tell her that her last brother was dead.
Oddly, whenever I thought that my Master was dead, the only thing that would stick in my mind was that I never had the chance to tell him Anakin's last message.
Jysella, my parents, Jaina's parents, Jagged and I were all standing in the foyer of the med center, waiting for Jaina. As I looked around, my mind supplied images of what this place must have looked like after Tekli was slaughtered here. I grimaced and turned my focus onto the doors that Jaina should be coming out of soon and tried to get the image of the Japor icon in the blue-green of Tekli's blood on the transparisteel doors out of my mind.
Jaina finally walked out of the doors, her hand trailing slightly along the wall, guiding herself by touch. As I saw her, as I saw he wounds, the scar tissue that was now her sightless eyes, I threw my shields up as I felt my guilt well up once again.
Apparently I wasn't shielding good enough; for Jysella grabbed my hand and whispered that it was not my fault. Then she leaned against my shoulder and rested her head there.
I watched as Jaina turned her head first to her parents, then to mine. Probing the Force to see who had come to be there for her. As she probed me and Jysella, she smiled, and I felt her approval flow to us through the Force.
Then she turned to the final occupant of the room. She walked over to him, and threw her arms around him. I could see her lips moving as she was whispering in his ear, but they were to far away for me to hear what they were saying. I could not hear, but his reactions were interesting to watch. He stood apart from us, a frown on his face. As she clung to him, he just stood there, with his back straight and his arms not touching her. But as she started to sob, he finally held her.
It would have been perfect if only Jacen and Anakin could have been there as well.
That night as I lay in the bed, I felt a storm gathering in the Force. I closed my eyes and focused on the Force, trying to find the cause.
The only thing that came through was the smell of strawberries and honey.
Slipping out of my room, I walked down the hall to Jysella's room, and could feel the confusion and pain boiling in there. I slipped into the room, and saw Jysella's bed was empty. But the pain in the Force was still localized in the room.
I walked around the bed, and found her. She was sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped around her legs, her head down and laying on her arms, as she rocked slightly back and forth.
It broke my heart to see her hurting this bad, and know there was nothing I could do.
I sat beside her, and slipped my arm around her. She leaned into the embrace and once again started crying.
I opened myself to the Force, and reached out for her, and I felt her do the same. There we sat the entire night through, communing with the Force and each other. I knew her, knew her dreams and fears, her aspirations and failures. In this same way she knew me. In the Force we shared all of our most essential selves with one another.
I was told once, that Master Yoda described us as "Luminous beings" that night was the first time I had ever actually believed that statement.
By the time the sun rose, I could feel her clearer than I had ever felt anyone before. In fact, I could feel her clearer than I could feel anyone else on Ossus.
Long before I really wanted to move away from her, I could smell some type of meat cooking. I could also feel Jysella's hunger, and I was standing us up in a second, and said "Come on, dad's making food. There's probably some para-rolls too."
We walked into the kitchen hand in hand.
My dad looked at us, and dropped the plate he was holding.
I could feel Jysella start to get nervous
Then my mom came in from the other door, a cup of caf raised to her lips, she took one look at us, and nearly choked on it.
I started to get nervous.
Looking back and forth between my parents, seeing matching looks in their eyes as they both stared at us. I asked, "What?"
My mom's head shot around and she glared at my dad and ignoring the two of us said "This is your fault Farmboy."
My dad looked at her. "My fault? He's your son."
"Not when he does something like this."
At this point, I had had enough, and really wanted to know what the big deal was. After all, they had seen us holding hands before. I stepped between them, looked at my mom and then my dad. "Would one of you please tell me what you two are talking about."
Sighing, Dad motioned for us to sit down at the table, and he joined us as mom paced in the background, the frustration and shock rolling off of her. Then he started his story.
"Ben, you know some of this already, but Jysella needs to hear it all, so bear with me. The day I asked Mara to marry me, we were on a planet called Nirauan. Trapped in what was basically a death trap, designed for a Jedi. Mara and I had to delve deep into the Force to help one another survive. When we did so a bond was formed between us. A deep, personal, lasting, permanent bond. We later learned that only Jedi with high empathic skills can form these particular bonds with another Jedi, and they have to really open themselves up to the Force and to each other. This was a relief, when we learned this, as even then we were planning for the master/padawan relationship, and were worried that these bonds would develop between teacher and learner."
He paused here, to look at mom, and catch his breath and his thoughts. He looked as if he had aged another fifteen years in the past minute. Then he looked back towards us. "When you two walked in this morning, I could see that bond existing between the two of you."
Jysella and I just stared at dad. After all, what can you say to that?
After a few seconds, I looked towards Jysella, and was once again reminded of just how much I was attracted to her. I probed us both in the Force, and could now see the bright golden line which attached us one to the other. Reaching out to her through the bond, I sent a simple message to her, "I like it."
She looked towards me, a smile lit up her face as she said "Me too."