I awoke to a feeling of warmth and security. A comforting weight pressed tight against me. The smell of strawberries and honey filled my nose.
I felt at peace, like I had finally come home.
I looked down, and saw the top of Jysella's head, her hair spread out over me once again. I looked around and realized that I was in a room in the med center on Ossus.
I clung to her tighter and fell back to sleep. As I slept, I did not dream.
When next I awoke, my father was there. His hair disheveled his eyes bloodshot; I noticed that he had already been fitted with a new arm. I told him I was sorry. He told me he loved me, and always would. I leaned back in my bed, my guilt over what I had done to him still weighing heavily upon me. He sat there for hours, not speaking, barely moving, just watching me. Then as the orderly came around serving lunch, he got up and left.
I almost cried at how broken he looked.
Later that day, my mom came to visit. She looked as bad off as dad did. I told her I was sorry, that I wished I could have saved them some other way. She smiled at me, and told me she was proud of me. I noticed a single tear roll down her cheek. Then she got up and fled the room.
That did make me cry. My mom showed a weakness, probably one of a handful of times that I had seen it during my life. And I caused it.
I slept. I awoke.
The healers came and fitted me with a new forearm and hand. It was one of the biomedical cybernetic prosthesis, similar to the one that my parents had.
Once more, I slept and then awoke.
This time there was no one there. I felt a wrongness, like I was missing something, and deep down I knew what it was that I was missing. I couldn't smell the strawberries and honey. I wanted to awaken to that smell, and this morning I didn't.
I got up and wandered around the room for a bit. I stopped and looked out the window. From it, I could see the Pulsar Skate, and noticed some activity near her.
I quickly got dressed, snuck out of the med center and went over to the Skate. I watched as Jysella carried a box into the hold. As she walked back down, she saw me and gave me a smile. She was almost shy as she said "Hey Ben."
"What are you doing?"
She wouldn't look at me. "I'm leaving Ossus. There's just too many memories, too much has happened. I, I can't stay here. Master Skywalker said I would be welcome to return at anytime, but right now, I just can't be here."
I merely said "Oh."
She once more started loading the supplies onto the Skate. I helped her. A small part of me dying with each box we took aboard.
Too soon, we were done. I looked at her, and finally noticed that she was dressed more like her mother used to, than like a Jedi. The form fitting pants, a short-sleeved tunic that clung to her when she moved.
Frankly, I liked it that way.
I wanted to be smooth like Uncle Han, but I knew I just have too much of my father in me to effectively pull it off at times like these. So I went with farm boy sincerity. "I was serious about what I said on Korriban. I love you."
She looked at me, the tears there in her eyes. "I know, I meant what I said too."
"You're still leaving?"
She just nodded her head in an affirmative motion, and turned around and walked up the ramp.
She stopped at the top, and turned to look at me, once more biting her lower lip. Then she gave me her smile. Her real smile. The one that brightens her eyes. "So you coming or not?"
I smiled at her in return, feeling my emotions start to soar and I started up the ramp. "Of course, I was merely waiting for you to ask."