By Chinesemoon
A/N: I'm getting into another kick, people. Look out!
Disclaimer: I don't own HP or anything about it, I merely play with it!
When I saw him, I saw stars. He seemed to know how to make me melt. I'm not sure how he found out about all these little things that he did that secretly drove me crazy. He was different from all the other men I'd known. He had something new; something special. Maybe I just loved him like I loved no one else.
Everyone was always telling me I was silly. They were always telling me I was a child. Therefore that made me, to most people, a silly child. Not to him though. He saw through that weak outer shell I put up. I wasn't as big and strong as I pretended, and he knew it, right from the start, but he wouldn't do anything about it. It drove me mad.
There was a secretive side to his personality that I had always yearned to know about. Ever since I first saw him, I've sat, simple spellbound, staring into those eyes of his. Hazel gray, that's what they were...like the moon. Yes, just like the moon.
As I said, he's different from anyone else. Maybe it was something that he was that intrigued me to no end. I had to chase after – that – whatever it was. For the first time in my life, I had to have that. I had to have that for me. I wasn't going to rest until I got it, either.
Flirting is an art that I was sure I had mastered at a young age. When I was in school, I could get any boy to lust after me, but him? No way. He was above that... at least for awhile. I had my ways, you see.
He liked to sit out under the stars at night. He mentioned his trouble sleeping most evenings. I used to look out my window and see him down there, staring up at the purple velvet sky, watching the glistening stars flying above him. I wanted to fly too, so why wouldn't he let us do that together? He was like a shining star in my eyes.
I went outside that night. I was wearing my nightgown. It was short, but hardly dressed to kill attire. I wasn't thinking about that when I stepped out of bed that evening. I was only trying to understand the way he was inside. Why wouldn't he show me?
The grass outside was so soft on my feet. The air was so crisp, and the moon so bright. I inhaled the air around me, sucking in breath after breath of heavenly scent. I loved the air at night. It was so fragrant.
I had wondering eyes. I know that. I can never sit still and I can never stare at only one thing at a time. Only... when I saw him that night... my eyes seemed to glaze over. I couldn't tear them away from him. He seemed to shine in that moonlight, he seemed so holy to me, and I wondered why he wasn't in a woman's arms right then, even if it couldn't be me.
I realized then how much I yearned to touch him. Anywhere... his face looked so soft. He was older than me, I knew it, but— he looked so young in the moonlight. The moonlight... his worst enemy was his greatest savior!
Remus Lupin – I knew I was in love.
He turned around and I remember seeing the surprise in his eyes at seeing me there, looking on at him with such lustful eyes. Perhaps he was taken aback. I wanted to know if a young girl's eyes staring at him in such a way would abash him.
"Go back to bed Tonks," He said to me softly.
I would have thought he knew me a little better than that. Perhaps not... perhaps he didn't see all that there was to me. Perhaps I didn't see all of him. My eyes were still transfixed, and that desire to understand something grew stronger.
"Why are you out here, alone?" I asked, almost whispering. My voice carried out to him, riding the cool whispers of the wind around us. A wisp of air engulfed me and I shivered; I wasn't cold, however.
He was usually so neat, but tonight his white button down shirt was untucked from his dark cotton pants. His hair was messy; his eyes were bright, not tired like they usually seemed. He was glowing.
"I can't sleep," he said, his voice jaded. "Please Tonks—"
I couldn't really hear him over the pounding in my ears. I was vaguely aware of walking to him, my hands slightly out in front of me. He eyed me, looking weary and lost. I stood in front of him, not blinking, and oh so aware of my own body temperature rising slightly.
"Remus," I said, cocking an eyebrow and looking up at him. "Why won't you let me love you?"
He was speechless as he stared down at me. My fingers hovered inches from his shoulders. His mouth was hanging open slightly, and he was forcing words to his lips.
"Tonks," He breathed, breathless. "What – I – you can't – we can't—"
"Why not?" I said, daringly. I stepped boldly closer to him, my breath on his neck, and my lips mere inches from his. "Why can't I love you?"
I wasn't sure at that time if it was my imagination or if he really did lean closer to me. Words seemed to escape him, and I was suddenly scared to death that he would pull away and leave me forever. I didn't care if it was wrong, I wanted him to hold me.
I moved in, closing that last precious amount of space between us, and placed my damp lips on his. I only kissed him for a flash of a second, but it was heaven, and he looked shocked and startled when I pulled away.
"Tell me to stop," I whispered in his ear. I wanted him to push and shove me violently away, to tell me to leave him alone now and forever. He could break my heart, and I could work on healing my sick soul.
That's not what he did.
Remus took my shoulders quickly and shook me for all I was worth, then he pulled me right to him and kissed me, right on the mouth. For all the silver in the world, I wouldn't give that moment away. He was so open and sudden, I felt my knees start to buckle under me.
He lifted me up slightly in his arms, our lips still locked together in that heavenly embrace. I thought it would never end, but go on forever. Merlin knows how long I was in his arms...
We pulled away and I thought I would die. He was addictive...once you had him you needed him more.
"Now go to bed Tonks," He whispered, touching my cheek.
I bit my lip and looked up at the half moon hanging in the clear night sky.
"Why do you sit out here all the time?" I asked.
"I watch the stars," He said, softly. "And it helps me sleep."
"I watch one star," I replied. "And he helps me sleep too."
I smiled at him and turned to leave. I'm sure he stared after me that night, but I didn't turn back. I knew I'd be seeing him under the velvet sky again, soon.
And I did. I saw stars.
And I did. I saw stars