A/N: Hey, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated yet! I've been working on a different chapter, and I forgot I hadn't posted this one yet. I'd just like to say that I don't own the Grinspoon lyrics, Better Off Alone, I'd love to have written them, but I haven't. I choose this song to go with this, because at the time I was writing this chapter, I was listening to this song. This chapter means a lot to me, because someone close to me died, and I want to express how I felt when it happened. I hope you like this chappie! please R&R!

I never gave a reason

Of why I didn't call,

And now I've grown so tired

Of lying to yourself.

I wake up, finding myself lying in someone's bed. I have no idea where I am.

I look around the room and find Cameron looking at me. He looks relived. Why is he here, I can feel myself get panicky, what's happened?

'Where am I?' I ask trying to keep calm. There's a guy here that I hardly know, lying in a room, I have no idea where. I look about the room and see that it resembles an old English nursery. It's a beautiful old room, which seems familiar in some way. It's a creamy yellow colour, with a huge window with stained glass that is the main attraction.

'I took you home with Jack, in the truck. My dad, the doctor, did a couple of tests on you,' he tells me.

'What?' I ask rubbing my head, wondering at the dream I had, remembering the intense pain I had gone through before having it.

'My dad, he's a doctor, he owns his own surgery and examined you while you were unconscious, he'll probably want to do some tests on you now while you're awake,' he adds looking around the room.

'But why aren't I at home?' I ask. I don't want to know how long I've been out, but he tells me anyway.

'Well, since you were out over the night we contacted your mum. But when we got the test result back, we found that it would be unwise to move you,' he said quite quickly looking down at his hands. He looked very uncomfortable. He looked a bit confused, like he wasn't really sure why I was here either.

'Oh, so I was only out for a night,' I say a bit relieved, but I don't let that on, I've got a feeling that Cam hasn't said all that's needed to be said.

'Actually it's been a week,' he says wincing.

'Oh my god!' I exclaim falling back down on the bed. I grab the back of my head and gasp, the pain comes back a little, it's not as intense as before, but luckily the light is just in the background.

I close my eyes and hear Cameron get up quickly and walk out of the room. I can feel the sun shining on my eyes, making me want to keep my eyes closed. The pain reduces, till it just feels like a light headache. I hate having something wrong with me. I always hated being sick. It's not just tiering but boring. You can't go outside or anywhere. But now, this isn't just any cold, something is wrong with me, and if Cam doesn't know, then does his dad? I tighten my eyes and let all my thoughts seep out of me. I just want to relax. I'm exhausted, but I've been unconscious for a week. I can see reed instead of black because of the sun. I smile slightly. It's silly but it's such a weird feeling, seeing a red muffled colour.

A couple of minutes later Cam comes rushing into the room followed by a man that looks a lot like him. I open my eyes when I hear them coming, I had almost fallen asleep.

The man smiles at me. He sits down.

'So you've finally woken up.' He smiles again. I sit up further in my bed. From what Cam said, I didn't think his dad would be nice. I expected him to be like all the other doctors you meet. Uptight and all business. But he's really nice.

'Sorry, I'd better introduce myself; I'm Simon, Cam's dad. I'm sorry about this whole, what would you call it? This whole muck up,' he says finding the right words. 'Now, your mum left for work today, so in the meantime, I've got to get to know you. Okay?'

I frown. 'Sorry, I've got to know your history for medical purposes.'

I smile back at him this time. Cam and him are so alike, but I can understand why Cam doesn't want to be a doctor, because for the next half an hour, Simon asks me every single question you can ever think of, so basically he knows me more than, well me. He's really kind though, and he treats me like an equal, not a child, which is better than any other doctor I've been to.

'Would you like Cam to be here, or do you want him to leave?' he asks taking some notes down on a clipboard. The question sends me into a spin, I think I'm really to tired to be concentrated, but it does confuse me, the question I mean. What sort of questions will they be? He realises my confused expression.

'They could be some personal questions, that you may not want Cam to know,' he says. I pause. They should be all right shouldn't they?

'Yeah, I don't mind Cam being here.'

'Okay, then lets get started. What sort of exercise do you do?'

my brain is functioning slowly. 'I play netball and soccer, I regularly run about four kilometres and I do dancing.' I say. I see Cam smile at this, shaking his head.

'So you're very fit then?' Simon asks.

'Yeah, I guess I am,' I say feeling a little stunned.

'Okay,' he laughs, 'so how much water would you say you drunk daily?'

I think for a little while. 'About three bottles, more if I have to umpire games,' I say. Simon raises his eyebrows and Cam looks up confused. He continues asking me questions, until I think he knows everything about me. But then he asks Cam to leave, and I start to get a little worried.

'What's your sex life like?' he asks. I can feel myself go red and I'm glad he asked Cam to leave. He smiles at me.

'It's okay, all of this is confidential, no one else needs to know, you can tell me the truth,' he says kindly and I realise that he's expecting me to have had sex before.

'Oh, no, I mean… I haven't, umm… not yet,' I splutter.

'Okay,' he says making a note on his clipboard, 'I'll take that as a no,' he says smiling.

He then goes on to examine me, and I'm all right. He expects the headaches to be a one off thing that won't happen again. He tells me that I was probably out for the week, as I had to get some sleep. He explains that teenagers have stressful lives, and need more sleep than they actually get, so at some point they have to catch up.

It cannot go unsaid

I regret what they know

Don't think it's all been a waste of time.

Are you better off alone?

Cam comes in later with a tray with food piled on top.

'I thought we should celebrate, you being okay and all,' he says with a smile that melts me. I smile back and we dig in.

We chat for ages until mum comes home from work and decides to take me home. I get a shock when I see mum, she seems really stressed, and she looks terrible, but I assume that it's just because she was worried about me.

I say thank you, and we leave, making appointments for me to have a check up every so often.

When I get home, I feel a bit more relaxed, like everything will be okay, but I can't help but notice that mum still looks shocking.

'Em, I have to tell you something,' she says her voice almost breaking, 'I didn't think you wanted me to tell you at Cam's place,' she adds, motioning for me to sit down. But I ignore her.

'Shouldn't we tell granny I'm home? Wouldn't she want to see me,' I know something's wrong, and granny will make mum feel better. But instead she bursts into tears.

'That's just it,' she whispers and suddenly it all makes sense, I don't know why. I collapse onto the footstool in shock. I grab the sides of it and squeeze, I feel my hands split and I shut my eyes and clamp my lips together. The tears started pouring out, and from my lips a sob escapes, I gasp, and clamp my lips shut again. But it doesn't work. Mum continues weeping, leaving me shaking uncontrollably on the footstool. I don't know what to say, there are no words to describe what I'm feeling. It's like a shovel has come along and dug a hole deep in my heart. But at the same time its different, like being winded, and grasping for breath, but having no one to help you over come it.

I can't do anything. I feel numb everywhere. My body's still shaking everywhere and I don't want to stop it. I can't control it. My eyes are sore, and my ankles are throbbing. It's so bad, it's like my feet don't want to be part of my body anymore. My organs are shuddering, and I feel sick. Mum doesn't do anything yet; she just sits there, rocking back and forward, tears streaming down her face.

I look away from her. At this moment I hate her, she told me this, it's like it's her fault, even though I know she had nothing to do with it. I feel betrayed. She saw her last, and I haven't seen her, I haven't been anywhere for about a week. I feel alone, because I know that there's no one anymore. No one to help me from being winded, and no one to help overcome the pain when I do. It hurts.

Mum dries her eyes and comes over to me. Squatting down she places her hands on my knees.

'She died quietly, she just passed away. It was the way she wanted to die.' I didn't want to hear the words, it made it all seem final. I let out a wail and sob into her shoulder.

We were so close. I remember her always getting so angry when I called her granny. 'Wendy,' she'd say, 'I'll always be Wendy Darling.' I'd always laugh at her, and tell her of my day. I'd tell her my problems, it was more accurate to call her me best friend than grandmother. She treated me like an equal, I was always closer to her than anyone else.

Mum's voice brings me back to the present.

'We lost her while you were out jogging,' suddenly it's all too much, I gasp, and pain comes into my head, the light comes from behind my eyes almost blinding me.

She mistakes it for a gasp of shock and says: 'Honey, it'll be okay, everything will be okay.'

Those that we admired

All stood their ground and cried

I didn't start the fire

I just tried to see your eyes

I send her to bed a bit later saying that I will be fine. But once she's gone I don't know what to do with myself. I wander around. Staring at the ceiling I go up to Wendy's room. A blow of pain hits me forcefully as a headache comes to me, the white light blinding me, and as quickly as it was there the pain disappears and is replaced with the place I saw before.

This time I'm running through the trees laughing and looking behind me. I dodge trees and scream with laughter as I look up and see a ruffled boy above me.

But as quickly as it replaced the pain, the image is gone and I find myself slumped on the doorframe of Wendy's room.

I look in and feel a bout of sadness. I sit on the end of her bed and I remember her talking of a boy she once knew.

'Missing is strange,' she had said. 'Sometimes it isn't there at all, and then it swoops down on you and you want to cry, but you don't, because there's no point. The person you are missing has gone, and it seems you are alone, and that the night is too large, and too dark.'

I hadn't really understood her at the time, and now I even don't. But I get it more than I did. I just don't know what to feel. Sadness, anger, happiness. Everyone seems to have rules for everything, but the rules for grieving are different, because the councillors try to tell you what to feel, and that it's okay to feel them, but it's stupid, no one should tell you how to feel. You can feel however you want. And that's how it should always be.

I stare out Wendy's window, sitting on the pane of the window, looking at the stars remembering.

I get up slowly and look at the photos that I loved her to tell me about. I get to my favourite and gasp. It's the girl from the place in my dream, from that weird world. It's Wendy. She was at that place. But why?

Thinking these thoughts I don't think I'll ever get to sleep, but as I crawl into her bed that I spent so many stormy nights in, I feel suddenly tired. I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Are we Better Off Alone

Than lying to ourselves

Who cares what they've said?

Who cares what they know?

Are we better off alone

Grinspoon – Better Off Alone

A/N: hey there is something weird with word at the moment, but I'd just like to say thanks to all my reviewers, Leigh A. Sumpter (loved your new chappie, it's one of my fave stories that one!), Tinkerflyinbell (I like the name!) and Aria Elessa (you'll just have to wait and see!)

Please R&R!