A/N: I can't wait any longer, but I'm not happy at all. Four reviews in I can't remember how many weeks! That's not as much as I would have liked! But I have to update coz I've had this ready forever, so you can make up the reviews on this chapter. My friend (I won't name names) has just gotten 200 reviews and as soon as she heard I only had 13, she laughed in my face! Can I tell you that that's not a very nice thing to feel! But I'm being a drama queen and I know I should be grateful for your pretty reviews, and don't hesitate to say something horrible, I think it's be pretty fun. I have started naming my chapters, because I felt like it. I'm really far ahead in the story, and I'm writing a hard bit at the moment. But I shan't keep you any longer as the only reason your reading this, is to read the story, so here it is!
Chapter 6: Em- Prepare to die
I'm really close tonight
And I feel like I'm moving inside her
Lying in the dark
And I think that I'm beginning to know her
Let it go
I'll be there when you call
And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain
-
I lie on the ground and look up at the stars. The grass prickles at my back, but it's okay. I glance beside me and see Wendy's diary beside me. I look back up at the stars and think. No one's here. I don't even think anyone knows I'm here either. I just want to be alone for the moment. It seems like everyone is always around me, and I never have time to think about Wendy, and remember her. There are always people around me asking that stupid question; 'How are you?' I mean, what do they expect us to burst into tears or something. I never used to mind it, I guess I didn't used to mind a lot of things but after…
I roll onto my side facing the book, but after what? I used to be a different girl. I was loud, flirtatious, and happy, but its like that girl got up and left sometime. I don't even look the same. I have dark rings under my eyes, and they're bloodshot as well. My hair doesn't do its lively thing, swishing around my head, my lips are chapped and sore, but I don't really care. Physical pain brings the emotional pain back, almost making is disappears, but that's not exactly possible. Nothing can make the emotional pain go away. The girl that used to be me, has disappeared. It's like she's left me completely, I don't want her to go, but she's already left. But I think what scares me most, is that I don't know why she left, or even when she went. I stare at the book, I actually know the answer, but I don't want to believe it. I bit my lips engraving my teeth into my ragged lips, before I actually make words to the thoughts that I've been having. I think the girl left when Wendy did, because Wendy did.
I'm really worried, because I'm really starting to miss her, Wendy that is, and I hate that it seems that the time I need her the most, she's not here. But I guess that's the reason why I need her, because she's not here, and she won't be.
I feel really stupid, because I keep coming home and expecting her to be there, but she's not. And when a silly person with yellow stockings walks past, I bust out laughing and look beside me, but there's no one to laugh with me.
I keep staring at the book, and then I get up. I walk out of the park that I planted myself in earlier, and walk across the road, with the book in my hand, to my place. I can feel my hands on it's soft edge, the edge that has been worn away by so many openings, the edge that was held in, and cherished by Wendy's wrinkled old aged hands.
I let myself in the back and silently tip toe through the kitchen I stop and look around the room. I haven't looked at it in a while. I've just skimmed past it. Mainly because the memories I've had here all have something with Wendy and me. I remember the first time I helped her with her famous gingerbread cookies. They all bit into them with pleasure but as soon as I tasted it I spat it out. It tasted as nice as a burnt brussle sprouts. We all laughed and they were relieved, as they had hoped that they wouldn't have to have another. I put the kettle on and make a cup of tea. I sit at the table and close my eyes, remembering. It seems that that's all I want to do at the moment. Having fun isn't even a big priority anymore.
My lips and my tongue burn as I take a sip too big. But I can feel it do good, as my lips embrace the fluid, and begin to repair themselves. I finish my tea slowly, and when I finally take in the room around me, I find that I am covered in darkness. In my melancholy state I feel as though I must be quiet.
I slowly walk up the stairs, and creep quietly past my mum's room. I walk into Wendy's room and feel calmed. As I walk past her cabinet to her bed, I get flushes of memories of things that I did with Wendy. Like the time where I had gotten a really bad mark on my report card, because I found it hard to read out loud. So she had spent the whole holidays with me making me read out loud to her.
I smile and sit on her bed. I open the book slowly. But I can only snap it back shut again. I can't read it; it's her private thoughts. I know she wanted me to have it, but I can't read it, not yet.
-
You're hiding from me now
There's something in the way that you're talking
Words don't sound right
But I hear them all moving inside you, go
I'll be waiting when you call
Hey and whenever I fall at your feet
Won't you let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain
-
The next day mum drives me to Cam's place. I have to get weekly check-ups, to make sure that everything's going okay. The car ride is very quiet. As mum stops at a red light she turns to face me.
'Hon, I'd like to talk,' she says, looking me straight in the eye.
'Okay mum. You don't have to ask mum permission first,' I reply, keeping her gaze.
'It's just, we've never been close, at all,' she says, looking back at the road, 'It was like mum, I'm mean Wendy, brought us together. You guys were so close, and I was so close to her, but we never really got on, just you and I.' We arrive at Cam's and she finally turns back to face me. Tears are gathering in her eyes.
'I felt so stupid when you were little. You'd always run up to her room and tell her everything about your day. And I'd be so jealous, but then you'd come back down with her, and she'd get you to tell me about your day, and then I'd stop being jealous, because I knew that she and I would raise you together, and it didn't matter who you told first, because you'd always come to the other next.' Tears are now dropping from both our eyes.
'But when you started growing up, I wasn't around as much, so you stopped coming to me. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you, but since Wendy was the one who brought us together I think maybe she can bring us together now.'
I lean over and hug her. I don't know what to say.
'Mum,' I whisper, 'it's going to be okay.' It's not much, but it's all that I can say. She nods to me and smiles.
'Thank you,' she says, and we get out of the car.
-
The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead
I fall
-
Someone opens the door just as I'm about to knock on it. It's an older man, who looks quite chirpy for someone his age, but looked a bit flustered. He raises his eyebrows at me, as if he is in shock, and murmurs something under his breath that I can't quite hear.
'You must be Em,' he says and looks past me to my mum, 'and Ruth.' He smiles at our faces, I'm guessing that mum's looked like mine, shocked.
'Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Cam's grandfather,' he seemed to wince at the word, 'Peter Pan.' He reaches out to shake my hand, but instead I have to grasp onto it. My head is thundering, the white light is back, blinding me again. I collapse onto the floor, and I hear urgent footsteps.
Someone puts my arm around their neck and lifts me. But after that the pain and the light take over and all I can see is white.
Suddenly, I'm in the other world again. I'm on a very old fashioned boat. It's beautiful, but has a black flag with a white skull hanging from it. I turn and see a scene laid out before me. There are a bundle of boys fighting with pirates, who are covered with tattoos and jewels.
I look in front of me and see a pirate with his sword raised, gaps in his teeth a couple of clumps of hair tangled in a pile at the top of his head. I quickly look down and see a sword in my hand. I look back up at him and find that he's grinning. He takes my surprise as an advantage and swings at me. I block his swing with my sword, and I find that I know what to do, and I'm fighting. I laugh at the pirate's clumsiness. But suddenly all is still and a boy floats down to the ground.
He is a handsome boy, and I feel all sorts of affections towards him. He drops to the ground with a thud, and I let out a gasp. The boy has blood running down his eye. He looks up at the man pushing him down. He has black curly hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looks wicked as he uses the end of his sword to knock the boy again on the head.
'Prepare to die Peter Pan,' he says, his piercing eyes turning red as he raises his hand.
'No!' I scream. I know what I have to do. I run to him and the man lets me.
'Oh, lets hear Wendy's goodbye to Peter Pan.' Just as he says it, it hits me. I'm Wendy, and this is Peter Pan, Cameron's grandfather.
But again, as quickly as it came it disappears and I'm back in Cam's nursery, and again Cam's looking at me in relief.
-
Whenever I fall at your feet
Would you let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I fall, ever I fall
Crowded House: Fall At You Feet
-
A/N: thank you everyone who did review: Leigh A. Sumpter you always review, which is nice, so please keep reviewing! Thanks so much!
Tinkerflyinbell1 thanks for reviewing again, and please keep reviewing
Auriela my beautiful gorgeous friend, who is sick at the moment (this shall be a nice surprise for you) thank you for reviewing, and remember I will keep showering you with complements, and you should be expecting a letter (wink wink), so look forward to it! (I know you love seeing your name here!)
And thankyou to the anonymous reviewer!