A/N: Sadness! This is my last update for the year coz tomorrow I'll be leaving my house until the ninth! AH! So this is the last one I'll write in a while so you better all update so when I come home I'll have a very nice Christmas present, hopefully a large one. But I'll work on my story while I'm away so I'll update heaps when I get back. Now the next couple of chapters, like this one, are written in lots of peoples different perspectives because I found that in my chapter plan there wasn't really enough in them to make it a chapter. So that explains that! So this is a big chapter for Time & Secrets as you will soon see!

Mixed Thoughts

Em

I sit and look out at the starry night. The deep velvet doona like sky, twinkling its many eyes at me, winking and smiling, enveloping me into its cold embrace. I love the night. It's late now, about midnight. I can see the world turning off its lights, as everybody goes to bed, leaving me in utter darkness. I like it here. It's peaceful and that's what I need right now. Peace and quiet.

But out of nowhere I here a voice. It's like a bell, twittering, almost like a bird soaring crisply though the night sky. The voice deepens, and it becomes longs notes that form words. I wanted silence, but all I want now is the voice. The woman sings. I don't know what the words are, or even if there are words. All I know is that I want to listen to the song.

I can feel the wind tugging on my hair. Making it dance around my head gently. The invisible dancer, just like the poem. I lean my head behind me. Close and then open, then slowly sink back down again. But before they reach their destination they see one last thing. The light turns on, and my mother stands in the doorway. But she's too late; I'm already asleep.

But I'm not really asleep, I find. It's like watching two things at once. The blinding light comes as a headache starts to take place, but I see mum walk over to me and pick me up. The light is replace by the world, and it hits me, from the descriptions Wendy gave, it looks like Neverland. Mum carries out of the room to mine. I drift down from where I seem to be flying and land on a ship, the Jolly Roger. Mum lays me in bed and tucks the sheets over me. Everything goes black on the other side, and I wake up suddenly to see myself in mum's arms. I relax a little into her arms, and she starts to stroke me hair continuously. Her hands soft and delicate like a cat grooming itself.

But suddenly she is replaced by a man towering over my, his eye turning red as he raises his arm, that has not a hand, but a hook. He knocks me over the head with the hook, and I fall to the ground, listening to the earth-shattering gasp that escapes my lips.

Simon

It's past midnight when I the ring of the doorbell. I roll over and look at my wife. She sleeps on, her eyes peacefully closed, and I wonder if the bell was even rung. But it comes again, urgently. I get up, and put some pants on and my top. I walk to the door slowly.

'Hello?' I ask as I open it. It's Ruth, Em's mum. She's carrying Em in her arms and has tears pouring down her cheeks. I take Em from her and hurry them up to the surgery, listening to Ruth's explanation as I go. I can't help but notice that Em is very light, and limp in my arms. It feels as though I could break her in half.

Everyone but Cam seems to wake from the commotion, and they all help out in one way or another. I don't bother waking him though. I know that as long as Em is unconscious, Cam will be awake, if he can help it. I examine her and send everyone to bed, and I feel proud of myself as even Ruth manages to fall asleep on one of the surgery beds.

That's what I love about this job. I can help people in so many ways. And I love being able to control a situation, and once I have, it feels great.

I sit on the edge of Em's bed after I finish examining her. She's still only a child, but she has experienced more pain than anyone would in a lifetime. But then she is not really a child. She passed the mark of child a long time ago, and sits firmly on the fence between women and girls. She, like so many others that are my patients, wants to move on be an adult, but a part of her wants to stay with her childhood.

I've seen the way Cam looks at her, and something tells me that she sees him the same way.

Cam

I arrive back home and I know that something is wrong. Everything is stirring. The house is normally so quiet at night when I return. I walk out of my room and through the house. I can see a light on in the nursery. I run there and find my dad inside, sitting on a bed that has Em in it. I look at the bed beside her and see her mum sleeping soundly there.

'What happened?' I ask. But am pushed out the door before I can say another word.

'Sorry, I just got Ruth to sleep,' I can feel his eyes slide over my body, and I silently wish that I had changed clothes before I came out. But instead he cocks his head to the side and says,

'I didn't know you were such a deep sleeper?' I smile at him and nod trying to look sheepish, or at least something other than intense worry. I can feel a stitch sticking in the side of my body, and I regret running to the nursery.

'So what happened?' I ask. He smiles at me.

'Oh, Em fell completely unconscious, it was as though she had been knocked out or something. Completely limp, she went from being conscious to unconscious when she was hugging her mother.' He seems a little sketchy on the details, but it doesn't really matter.

'Hey, I've got a favour to ask, could you stay up with Em, I have to move Ruth, and then I might get some sleep,' he doesn't ask it like a question, he asks it as though he knows I'm going to say yes. He goes over to Ruth, wakes her up, and moves her to the spare room.

As soon as they leave I get comfortable, and wait til dawn comes.

Em

I wake up to find Cam pacing the room. He is dressed in a white top and jeans, and I try to not take notice of his muscles that you can see through the top. He smiles at me and sits down on the edge of my bed.

'Holly crap Em, you scared the shits out of me.' I smile. He looks deeply in my eyes, and my breath catches.

'Excusing your French,' I say and start to get out of bed.

'Hey, hey,' he says and pushes me back. His touch sends shivers down my spine, and I know that I can't deny it to anybody anymore, even if I want to.

'My dad had to examine you,' he says as though now I'll get everything. I look up at him and give him a confused look.

'What are you wearing Em?' he asks. I can feel myself go red and I find that I'm only wearing my bra and undies.

'Exactly,' he says smiling at me. Then he hands me a bunch of clothes that I recognise. 'Now I know I wouldn't mind, but maybe you put these on, unless you want to go walking around like that in front of my family.' He smiles charmingly at me.

'You dirty boy,' I say, mock seriously, 'please turn around so that I can get dressed.' He turns slowly and I hop out of bed and quickly get my clothes on.

'How did you get my clothes?' I ask.

'Your mum had to leave for work, so she dropped around to your place and then dropped the clothes off here.' He turns back around and I smile at his reaction. Mum chose my favourite top. It's a black top with gathering at the shoulders, it hugs my body nicely, and I know that Cam has realised that.

I sniff the air. 'Mmm, that smells good, can I have breaky now?' I ask. He smiles and leads the way.

--------------------------------

Half an hour later, after breaky and an okay from Simon, I'm leading him to my special spot. No one knows where it is, and as I explain to him where we are going he stops.

'Are you sure you want to show me this then?'

'If I hadn't already thought about, do you think I would be showing you?' I smile and I head towards the first hill.

My spot comes after a lot of hills, and this is another reason why I want to take Cam to it. I want to talk to him for longer periods of time, really get to know him. He makes me laugh. He tells me of his crazy family, and of Peter, and that's when I really get interested.

'How close are you to Peter?' I ask. His eyebrows knit together as he thinks.

'Very, he knows me better than I know myself.' But that's all he says on the matter, and he then tells me of the other day, when he was riding and heard a women singing, and how he met her. It makes me think of the women I heard singing, lulling me off to sleep, and I wonder if they were the same person. Thinking this I smile, and listen contently to Cam talking.

Cam

She finally stops at the top of the last hill. I sigh and I can see her face crease into a smile. She takes my hand gently, leading my away from the amazing view of the city. She brings me to a hammock, where it seems that she has made her home. She sits down facing the view, the wind dancing through her hair. I sit beside her and take her hand again. She leans her head on my shoulder and I listen to her breathing.

I lean down to the hammock so that I am lying on my back. She follows, still seeming to be in a sleepy haze. She is lying on her side, her body facing mine. I can feel every part where her body is touching mine, and I turn to look at her. She is already looking at me, and her eyes pierce through me. Her smile slowly fades as she and I both realise how close we are to each other. I lean forward and so does she. I can feel her breath on my cheek as she turns her head at the last moment, making for my ear. I don't bother trying to hide my disappointment. I sigh and she whispers in my ear.

'What's wrong with me Cam?' I turn over so my body I facing hers. I notice that she takes a quick breath. Because of the weight of the hammock, she slides towards me. Our body collide, and somehow she ends up on top of me, and I'm lying on my back.

She doesn't seem to mind though, and neither do I. I reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Em

His touch sends shivers up my spine, and I have no clue why I didn't kiss him before. I guess I just needed to ask the question. I find that my arms have ended on is chest, so I slide them down so that they are behind his neck. He closes his eyes, and then opens them again, his face glowing. I let my hand explore through his hair, and I lower my head to his.

But this time he moves to my ear, teasing me.

'Nothing's wrong with you, your perfect.'

Cam

This time I know I've said something wrong. She scrambles off me as quick as lightening, sitting on the very edge of the hammock, her back to me.

'That's just the thing, Cam, I'm not perfect. If I was perfect, I wouldn't be getting these fucking headaches would I now? I'd be able to stop mourning for Wendy's death.' She whispers the last bit so softly that I can hardly hear her. She whispers it with a force that I don't understand, as though she hates herself for it.

I want to tell her everything, that I know why she's getting the headaches, and all about Wendy and Peter. But I can't. Peter said that if I tell anybody Neverland could be ruined, and from what Bella has told me, we need to prevent anything like that from happening.

She turns around to face me.

'She would have wanted me to live life again, and not to mourn. To feel, to love and to have no weight on my shoulders. To be strong and not to cry,' she almost asks it, as though it's her only hope. The question lingers in her eyes, and I bundle her up in my arms squeezing her tight.

'You can be strong in so many different ways Em, not crying is just one of those ways, a crappy way at that. And I don't even know Wendy, but I know that she'd be proud of you, whatever you felt, because you and her had a connection, and that connection will hold strong, through life and death.' It sounds corny and silly, but it's the closest way I can get at least some of it out into the open.

She takes a shuddering breath, but does not cry. She burries her head further into my chest and I kiss the top of her head. In reply she kisses my chest. And for now, that's all that we need to say, because we understand each other, for now at least.

A/N: he he he, evil writer so they didn't get together! I feel evil, but I'd like to thank all of my reviewers, especially Auriela and hp6 (thanks for reviewing your reviews mean a lot!) because you always review!

That's all for now, so I guess I'll be writing later! Thanks for reading! - embracing