In the rain
Walking slowly
There's a light
In your apartment
I don't know why
I ache for you
And it's alright if
You're undecided or
If you're scared
That you might like it or
If it's true
I ache for you
There's no rhyme, and
There's no reason
You're the secret in the back of my skull
There's no logic
So please believe me
That love's confusing,
Alone
Cam
I watch her; I watch her start to understand. Understand the reason I broke it off. Broke something off before it started. But you can't have an end without a start, right?
'That's why it felt so final,' she whispers. I can see her brain ticking over as she makes all the connections. She looks at me, hurt filling her eyes.
'Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood.' I should have expected the question, but it still stunned me.
'I couldn't because I swore not to.' She nods and stares off into space.
'I thought you were dead. I felt so lost. Like I didn't have a place anywhere. I was so scarred.'
I've never felt so guilty. All I want to do is hold her close. I don't know what to do, or what to say. I don't know what it's like between us now.
She sighs and gets up, moving towards her bed. Her bed, I realise, is where I'm sitting. Her arms come around my body, as she gives me a hug. I sigh, and am about to rest my head on hers, when I feel a very painful tug on my hair.
'Argh!' I say, and turn from Em who is looking at me confusedly to find a very angry Bella making some very rude gestures.
'Bella, she is not an ugly…' I notice that Em is looking at me with wide eyes, 'She is not what you say she is,' I say to Bella sternly.
'We have to go, NOW!' she tinkles angrily. Her blond curls shake as I see her body start to set on fire.
'Umm…' I say, grabbing Bella and chucking her out the window. 'I'd better go then.' I don't want to leave her. Not yet at least. But Bella will be highly offended if I don't get a move on. But then again, I just threw her out the window, so she probably is already.
Em looks up at me frantically. 'No, please Cam. You can't leave yet. I don't understand. Please don't leave me yet.' She winces slightly at her words, and I know that it's only because she sounds so desperate.
'I can't-' I say, and then it dawns on me as Bella comes back to me. She knows now, and that was the only reason why I didn't get her to come with me before. I give a strangled cry as Bella yanks my head back once again, I can't help but wonder at her amazing strength, for a fairy at least.
'Why don't you come with me?' I ask once I have recovered from the strong fairy's blow. 'Why don't you come to Neverland with me?'
A little sparkle appears in her eye and a small smile tickles her lips. Then it is all gone and her face frowns.
'I can't, what about mother?' she says, walking back to her bed.
'It's all you've ever heard about. It's fantastic Em. Just come, you don't have to stay forever. Just stay, like… like a holiday.' The sparkle returns and the half smile, the smile that I have loved comes to her lips.
'Are there mermaids?'
'More mermaids than you could ever imagine. And you have to meet the Indians.' Her smile is full now. 'Come away with me. Come away with me to Neverland.' I know as well as she does that it's a quote from our own grandparents.
There is a slight hesitation behind her eyes, but I watch as she takes note of it, and then brushes it away. She grins, and takes my outstretched hand. It's hard to imagine that it was all so easy, but I know from the look on her face that she's still not sure. I'm sure she's just jumping at the chance to go to Neverland
'Do I need anything?' she whispers with excitement. I shake my head and take a very angry (I now notice) Bella, and shake the fairy dust over her. I don't need to tell her anything, because she's already off, pulling me along. She gives me a sideward glance and laughs. She does a tumble turn in the air, and I'm impressed. She's a natural. But I'm not jealous, instead I feel proud. I don't worry about Bella. The story won't go the way it did before. She'll grow to love Em just as I do.
----
But it never gets dull
It's getting late
Anticipation, and
If we talk
Communication, and
Then you'll know
I ache for you
And yes sometimes
It's just desire,
Another problem that you
Really don't want,
But anyway,
I ache for you
-----
I wake the following morning to find Em's head resting on my lap. I try to think of how she got there and remember the awful event. I flinch as it comes back to me. I stroke Em's hair, making sure she's asleep. Then I pick her up and take her to the bedroom. I place her lightly on the bed and glimpse at the slim belly that peeks through her shirt where it has risen. I pull it back down and leave the room. I wander about and try to make some sense of what happened last night.
We had arrived in Neverland; I wanted to show her everything. All the details, every nook and cranny. But as soon as Em first laid her eyes upon Neverland she fell. Hard and fast. I didn't notice until it was almost too late. I powered to the ground after, and then watched with displeasure and fear as she disappeared through the trees. I sped off after her, but I couldn't see her. Finally I spotted her in the distance, falling. Her body limp. I wouldn't make it in time. I saw the Indians rushing out. They caught her. They caught her. Not me. I couldn't save Em. They laid her down on the ground. Then they disappeared through the trees yet again.
They knew that I was there somewhere. They had enough empathy to know that I didn't want company. I took her back to the tree house. She stirred as we entered the house, but I couldn't face her waking just then, so I sat her down on the handmade couch. She had curled up against my body, half sitting half lying on me. She had felt secure there. Then I had listened to her even breathing, and had somehow fallen asleep.
With that thought leaving me I return to the present. I stop pacing the kitchen and go back into the bedroom. She's still sleeping. Her back is now facing the wall, and she'd rolled up into a little ball. I rest myself on the doorframe, watching her. I walk to her and lean over to her ear.
'I'll never let you fall again, I'll always be there to catch you.' I kiss her forehead and then leave the room again. I leave a quick note for her and go flying.
There's no rhyme, and
There's no reason
You're the secret in the back of my skull
There's no logic
So please believe me
That love's confusing,
But it never gets dull
I ache for you
And I'm tired
I'm so much wanting
And what if
Don't even think it,
But why not?
Em
I wake up hearing a voice in my ears and a soft brush of something on my head. 'I'll never let you fall again, I'll always be there to catch you.'
What had that been about? I hear footsteps leave the room, so I open my eyes. The place that I see is shocking. I'm in a hut, a hand made one. It's amazing, honey coloured wood make up the walls, with murky moss in between the cracks. The occasional burst of light seeps through it. I look around my room and smile seeing that everything is hand made. The bed even, and the mattress, made of material that I can't identify. The sheets too are made by hand when I look closely at them, the stitching old and crooked.
I run my hands along everything, taking it all in. I smile and leave the room, just in time to see Cam fly out the door. I sigh, I really wanted to talk to him, about what's between us now, and I don't understand how we can go from being… I don't know where I'm going. I just really want to talk to him about how things are with us.
I walk to the table (made of old oak by the looks of it) and see Cam's messy scrawl on a leaf of some sort, it seems to do the task of being written on well.
Gone to pick some fruit, be back soon, definitely before lunch. If your hungry just go down stairs, it's actually only one or two, anyway, I think there's still some bread there. – C
I can't help but think that he really is a son of a doctor, he writes like those messy scrawls on prescriptions. I wonder at how he found the leaf, and knew that it would be good to write on, and then it all clicks, Cam has been here for a while, that's how he knows. I pick up the leaf and read the note again. There's a downstairs? Where am I, I thought I was in a hut. I really want to go exploring, but just as I think those thoughts I see writing on he other side of the leaf.
DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THE TREE HOUSE!
Tree house, I'm in a tree house. Well fan-bloody-tastic. Did I forget to mention to Cam that heights and me don't match, and that I have a serious case of vertigo? Maybe he's just joking around. I walk to the hole in the wall that is obviously a window. I stick my head out, actually I don't quite manage that because I shut my eyes and bump into the wall. I swear to myself and then feel an awfully large bruise coming on. I try again and stick my head out, closing my eyes only when I know I'm going in the right direction. I take a big breath and look down. Then I open my eyes. I shriek at the sight before me. Not only did Cam forget to mention that I was in a tree house, but he also forgot to mention that THE TREE WAS THE LARGEST TREE IN THE UNIVERSE! Although that's exaggerating a bit as the trees around this particular tree are the same size as this one. I stick my head back inside and take a big breath. There's no way I'm going outside. But I get caught for a moment, as I am about to turn away from the frightful window, and immerse myself in the beauty of Neverland in the early morning.
Butterflies flutter in and out of the tree branches, as though teasing them just for fun. The early sunshine demands notice on the messy floor, and the flowers sway in and out of it's luxurious light. I smile as I see birds of all colour chase each other around and around as though they are dogs chasing their tails. I laugh a little and come a tad closer to the window.
'So you've come to terms with the shock of it?' I almost jump out of my bones as I hear Cam's voice disturb the peace. I turn to face him and embarrassedly cover my face with my hand.
'You scared me out of my wits.' He smiles at me and puts a basket down on the table. I can see from here that it's filled with all sorts of different fruits.
'You scarred me out of my wits when you screamed as loud as a siren.' He laughs a little but I don't join in.
'Well, you could have told me that we were in a TREE HOUSE Cam.'
'Yeah, yeah, I would've heard you completely fine if you hadn't yelled. Besides I thought you would have liked it, what do you have against it?'
'I have vertigo!' I hiss at him and storm away from him to make my point. Which I succeed in doing until I hear Cam start to say something that doesn't get finished as I fly down a hole of some sort. I tumble to the floor, somersaulting and banging my head. I look around me and see a room much like the one I just left, although it is dirtier and darker. Dust outlines everything. I sneeze alarming the dust and moving it around.
I have my head turned when I feel hands go around my stomach as I am lifted up. I turn back to see Cam in front of me, his eyes dark, flying up the hole. We come out into daylight and I blink slightly. Cam moves away from me.
'Please don't go down there again,' he tells me, his voice hoarse. It's not a request; it's a rule that I have to follow. I frown a he starts to walk towards the bedroom. I stand for a moment, feeling alone. A feeling I thought I left behind me when I left England. I stalk into his room.
'Cam don't you dare do that to me,' I look at him. He's lying on his bed, his shirt is off. I resist the temptation to stare at his well-built body and fire a death stare at him. 'Don't you dare drag me away from England and take me to a place I believed I wouldn't be alone in, and then let me find that I am alone, and a long way from home.' My voice is too quiet, he can tell that I'm really pissed, I can tell from the confused expression on his face that he wants to ask what I meant, but he knows me well enough to know not to.
'I'm sorry, I'm not used to sharing my feelings with other people.' I shake my head and storm out of the room.
I walk to the kitchen bench and lean on the sink. My hands are shaking. I'm really pissed. More pissed than I thought I'd be over this. I'm losing control. I take a shuddering breath and look out the window. I'm not caught by Neverland's beauty this time. I just want to escape. My eyes brighten. I want to explore.
I walk to the front door and open it smiling as a breeze twirls around me like a gymnast and her ribbon. The sunlight twinkles in among the trees. I stand admiring the view.
I feel hands slowly go around my stomach gently. Cam rests his head on my shoulder. He's bent over I can tell. He's still shirtless; I can feel his body pressing against mine. My voice gets stuck in my throat.
'I'm so sorry Em, I didn't want you to feel that way. I don't want you to feel that way.' I don't make a sound. I don't think I can. He rests his head so that his lips are almost touching my neck. It takes everything for me not to tilt my head back in pleasure.
'I didn't mean it the way it came out. I guess I just stuffed up, I just can't stop thinking about last night.' I feel his body tense as he speaks of it. His voice is vibrating my neck. My eyebrows knit together.
'What happened last night?'
'You can't remember?'
'No, should I?'
'No, I guess not. You fell unconscious while you were in the air.' I know there's something else to the story, but I don't mention it because I can feel that his body is getting anymore relaxed.
'Oh, okay,' I whisper and look back at the surrounding beauty. He pulls me closer and relaxes. We watch the sun creep over the trees.
'So why were you angry with me in the first place?' His body immediately tenses again and I regret saying anything. He steps a little back from me.
'That was Peter's home. The place where he lived before he left.' He goes to move away but I grabbed his arm.
'Thankyou for telling me,' I say and then settle back on his chest. He sighs and we both start watching again.
----
It never gets dull
I ache for you- Ache For You: Ben Lee
-----
A/N: Sorry about it taking me so long to write this chappie. I actually finished it a while ago and it had the fight in it. But then I thought that I might loose all of you as readers because I might be repeating the same thing over and over. So I wrote another chapter that wasn't as good so I thought I'd just post this one no matter. Just stick with the story a little longer, it's almost finished. Thanks to all my reviewers, you really were the ones who helped me finish this chappie!