Happy New Year readers! It's my first update in 2006! Yay! Ok let me know how this chapter is! Please review! I shall love you forever! Let me know what you like, don't etc. I have an idea of where to take this…but would love any other suggestions.

Hope this chapter is decent.

AddictionToFiction: I updated for you! Thank you SO much for the sweet review! I am honored that you like my story. I am drooling for a more in-depth review! Thanks!

Sanskrit: Chickee! Hope you had a good Holiday…hope you keep reading! What do you think of this? P.s. update your fic! I miss it!

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Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.

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Pony's POV

"…he wake up?"

Voices swirled in and out of my head. I tried hard to recognize them but I couldn't. Inwardly, I groaned. Something had hit my body hard. I couldn't move. I felt weak and there was a heavy sensation on my chest.

I strained hard to hear.

"I sure hope so, Little Buddy."

Darry? I heard a ragged breath drawn inward. Soda?

I opened my eyes and using all my strength sat up hurriedly to greet my brothers. I crashed to the floor on hands and knees.

"Guys, where am I?" I got no answer.

I shook my head to wake myself up from my fall and took in my surroundings. I was in a bleached, starched hospital room. The only spots of color came from my brothers, who looked oddly sad.

And oddly didn't notice me.

"Darry, Soda?" I asked again. I rolled into a sitting position on the floor to look up at them.

My stomach felt as if it was floating. That was when I noticed a thin, weak, golden cord coming from my stomach. It connected to something above me, on the hospital bed.

I felt weak. Only this time it was from an uneasy sense of dread.

Hesitantly, I pulled myself up on my knees. My trembling hands gripped the edge of the bed as my eyes followed to where the cord was linked.

That still figure in the hospital bed that Sodapop was talking to in a low voice was me.

"Oh, shit!" I babbled, falling backwards and pushing myself far away from…myself.

Suddenly I remembered what I had done to get in this hospital in the first place.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I killed myself.

I doubled over, choking on my thoughts. Taking deep breaths, I tried to evaluate the situation.

I glanced over at Sodapop who was sitting next to me on the bed. Soda was nearly in tears. Darry stood at the foot of my bed, frozen stiff and unsure of what to do next.

It was then that I did wish I were dead. I was stupid and selfish and now my brothers were worried sick over me. Again.

"Glory Kid, you sure fucked things up."

A hard voice pulled me from berating myself. It sounded like…

"Dallas?" I asked the room, doubting my sanity at that moment.

"Ponyboy, why'd you do it man?" someone questioned sadly.

There, across the room Johnny and Dally stood. Stunned, my mouth hung open until Dallas walked over, reached out and hauled me up to him.

The scene behind me faded in color and my brother's voices became lower and indistinguishable. I felt like I was swimming underwater.

"Am I dead?" I asked a pissed-off looking Dallas Winston.

"If you're dead why aren't you in the morgue?" Dally snapped. "Then again why am I not surprised you haven't figured that out yet. You sure haven't been acting like a straight-A student tonight."

I gaped at him not because of his rude remark, but because I never thought I would be this happy to get bitched out by Dally Winston.

"Am I going to die?"

"You know," Dally said, lounging against the wall, "it would serve you right for your dumbass mistake."

"Aw, no Dal, don't say that," Johnny put in. I blinked fast at my best friend. I couldn't believe he was here.

"He don't mean it Pone, he's just upset. We both were when we saw it," he offered gently.

"You guys are dead." I said glumly, as if I was just now confirming that fact.

"Yah, we are." Johnny nodded.

"Let's hope you don't join us." Dally barked.

"It's worth it!" I suddenly blurted. "To see you both again. It's worth it."

Johnny touched my shoulder gently but I could see his eyes were sad.

Dally slyly grinned. "Yah it's good seeing you too. Not that I didn't mind having Johnnycakes here for company."

I couldn't help myself. "So, uh Dal, you went to heaven?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Kid, our job is to look out for you, so I would be pretty goddamn grateful-"

"Then where were you four hours ago?" I exploded.

"Ponyboy, we can watch out for you, we can't stop you," Johnny explained to me as I sullenly dropped into a chair.

"I know. It's not your fault. It's mine." I was miserable. I stared at my brothers painfully as they spoke to my former shell.

"I'll stay here with you then," I stupidly concluded. "I don't care. I deserve it, I did it to myself."

Johnny and Dally looked at each other carefully. "Pony, everyone makes mistakes," Johnny's dark eyes stared at me.

"Sometimes you can't take them back and you wish you could," Dally said softly.

I remembered Dallas pulling the unloaded pistol from his jacket. Aiming it at the cops. Crumpling under the streetlights.

"Besides," Dally interjected roughly, "try telling Darry and Soda that you'll be staying here."

"They'd understand," I whispered knowing it was a lie. Seeing Dally and Johnny again made me want to stay with them. The past seemed better than my future.

Besides, did my brothers really need me? They might be better off in the end.

Admonishingly, as if reading my thoughts, Johnny said, "No Pone, they couldn't take it."

"Ok kid," Dallas slapped his hands together and shook me by the arm. He sat down next to me. Being constricted in the tight hospital chair, I tried to edge away from him as much as I could. My golden cord flickered.

I didn't want to hear this.

"We're here to make you realize that you need to be with them." He gestured to Darry and Soda. "Stop living with us, stop moping. That's over. If you don't get

that…then…it'll be too late."

"This," Johnny pointed to himself and Dallas, "is why you're here."

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Ok! Sorry for the delay everyone! But I didn't give up on the story…just busy w/ holidays! Now that I've updated please send along reviews! Any thoughts about how to continue or anything? I love…and perhaps need feedback! Send me a New Year's Review!

Thanks to everyone who is reading! XXXOOO