Oh, wow! Wow! Guys, look! I've finally, FINALLY started this fic! I've had this one planned since... well, probably since about the time I started that Resisty club on Deviant. It's just been that I never knew how to start... but now I've started! I guess that ZAGR I wrote DID help... got the creative juices a'flowin'! Mmmm, juice.

Sooo, yes. Actually not a one-shot, too! I'm shooting for three or four chapters, but who knows?

Oh, and I don't own Invader Zim or the Resisty or any of its members yadda yadda yadda... you've heard it all before.

And NOW! Prepare thine buttmeats for rocking, as this fic begins... NOW!

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Chapter one / Outset

The Resisty had nothing to do. Since the loss of their flagship, they hadn't the resources to attack even the smallest of Irken vessels, nor did they have any means of getting a new ship. Some of the Resisty's members had decided to get jobs to raise funds for the movement, but some of the members were unable to attain employment and still others-- notably the leaders-- had to stick around to watch over things... not that there was all that much to watch over.
And so it was that Lard Nar, Spleenk, and Shloonktapooxis were lounging about the bridge of their temporary flagship; a newly renovated trash barge that barely housed all the members of the resistance. Spleenk was trying to busy himself on one of the computer consoles while Shloonktapooxis hovered in circles around him, and captain Lard Nar was staring out the window, absentmindedly watching the universe fly past as the ship sped along with no clear destination but the ambition to get away from anywhere where the Irkens could find them. The silence in the room hung over them, and eventually the cone-shaped Shloonktapooxis decided to break the thick veil of quiet with a muted cough, and the simple statement "I'm bored."

"So am I," Spleenk added, deliberately pressing a few buttons on his computer.

"Yes, yes, we're all bored," Lard Nar replied, still with his eyes focused outside.

"Let's go do something," Shloonktapooxis suggested, jumping up and down like a toddler needing the toilet.

"We can't," Lard Nar stated, finally giving his compatriots his full attention, "We cannot risk allowing the Irkens to find us, and therefore we cannot go anywhere where we could do anything that would be any more exciting than what we're doing now."

"Why can't we take one of the other ships?" Shloonktapooxis asked hopefully, floating nearer to his captain.

"We can't leave the ship unattended," Lard Nar insisted, "It's too dangerous."

Shloonktapooxis sighed harshly, dropping himself onto the floor and rolling around in what resembled a bout of teenage angst. "You never let us do anything!"

"Ehhn," Spleenk interjected, "That floor hasn't been cleaned properly."

Shloonktapooxis looked up at his green companion, now covered head to... vertex?... in filth. "Wuh?"

"Nevermind," Spleenk replied quickly.

Lard Nar shifted his weight in his chair, his butt sore from all the sitting. "I don't see why you can't go talk to someone else on the ship. We don't have to risk our lives just to ease your boredom."

"I trieddd!" Shloonktapooxis whined, "They all think I'm noxious!"

Lard Nar looked at his right-hand cone oddly. "You mean obnoxious?"

Shloonktapooxis gasped in horror. "You think so, too!" He resumed his tortured roll across the dirty floor, screaming in lament.

"No, no!" Lard Nar cried, trying to cease the noise coming from his polygonal partner, "I don't think so at all! Stop screaming!"

"You don't think I'm abnoxious?" Shloonktapooxis asked. When his captain nodded in the affirmative, Shloonktapooxis lept from the floor with the ferocity of a thousand hobos on hooch and did a little flip in mid-air. "Awesome!"

Lard Nar leaned back in his chair, having stood up while comforting the cone. "Yes, yes."

"I'm hungry," Spleenk complained, "Can we stop by Foodcourtia?"

"Are you insane?" The Vortian captain's horns raised in irritation, "That's Irken territory-- we'd have to be suicidal to go there!"

"But I'm hungryyyy!" Spleenk squealed in belly-grumbling botheration.

Lard Nar groaned, trying to ignore his own empty stomach. He tried to change the subject. "So... er... how are you guys' families doing?"

Shloonktapooxis' short attention span took to the new conversation like a internet troll to an Invader Zim message board. "My little sister got an antenna extension! The boys at her college think she's totally hot now!" He made a stupid face that may have implied pride.

"Er... good for her, then," Lard Nar looked to Spleenk, "How did your mother's wart removal go, Spleenk?"

"Terrible!" Replied the four-armed alien, "She went into a coma."

"From a wart removal?" Lard Nar asked incredulously.

"The doctor accidentally hit her in the head with a bat," Spleenk explained, "Twenty times. Funny how these things happen, huh?"

The captain was lost for words, amazed his technical officer was unable to notice how suspicious that was. "... Yeah. Funny."

"So what about you, Cap'n?" Shloonktapooxis asked enthusiastically, floating himself right up into Lard Nar's face.

"I don't know," The Vortian rebel responded.

"Whaddya mean?" Shloonktapooxis drilled, speaking quickly and loudly, "How don't you know?"

"The only family I have is my grandfather, who is imprisoned on Vort," Lard Nar confessed, "I haven't heard from him since the invasion."

"That sucks!" Shloonktapooxis said simply, backing up a bit.

"That's your only family?" Spleenk asked, more out of a tactless curiosity than out of sympathy.

Lard Nar sighed, and turned back to the window. Spleenk and Shloonktapooxis looked to each other for a moment, then back to their leader.

"Cap'n?" Shloonktapooxis prodded, as close to quiet compassion as his simple mind allowed.

"I had a fiancee," Lard Nar told them, still looking out into space, "She lived on Vort. I haven't heard from her, either," He paused, "She wasn't a scientist, nor was she physically fit for labor. She was probably executed by the Irkens."

"Probably? What, so you don't know for sure?" Spleenk asked, leaning forward with interest.

Lard Nar shook his head. "Non-Irken communications can't reach the planet, and I can't get anywhere near there."

"But, but what if she's waiting for you!" Shloonktapooxis questioned hurriedly, borderlining on panic, "She's been all alone over there for so long! Cap'n, you gotta go find her!"

"I told you, she was probably executed," Lard Nar replied harshly, "Just as we'll be if we try to go near Vort."

"But captain!" Spleenk said, standing up, "We're the Resisty! We can't just back down and settle for assumptions just because the Irkens are in the way! We've gotta, yanno, RESIST!"

"Are you kidding! We'll be SLAUGHTERED!" Lard Nar screeched in horror. He took a few deep breaths, then paused. "No, no. You're right. I can't just back down and allow the Irkens to keep me from my loved ones! I have to show those Irken tyrants that I will NOT allow them to push me around!"

"YEAHHHH!" Shloonktapooxis cheered loudly, "Resisty ROOOCKS!"

"Let's go!" Lard Nar pumped a triumphant fist into the air, before realization dawned upon him and he stopped. "Wait. We can't just take the ship with us, it'll be too suspicious. You guys painted the Resisty's insignia all over it," He glared at his two minions, who in turn looked to the ground in shame.

"Well, let's take another ship," Spleenk suggested simply.

"But who will watch over things here?" The captain's horns fell flat against his head, his ambition draining fast.

Spleenk shrugged. "I dunno, that brain guy, maybe?"

Lard Nar wasn't sure if "that brain guy" could pilot a ship like this, and this just REEKED of "BAD IDEA," but as he always did, Lard Nar conceded. "Alright. Let's go, fellow rebels!"

The three dashed down the ship's main hall. They stopped at a random room, and Lard Nar threw the door open.
"You!" He yelled to the brain-headed inhabitant of the room, "Take the helm!"

"Where are you going?" The brain-guy asked in a mechanical voice.

"We're going...," An ambitious smile overtook the face of the small grey Vortian. "... On a rescue mission."

"Pssst! Can we go to Foodcourtia on the way?" Spleenk whispered.

Lard Nar sighed, crestfallen. "... After we stop by Foodcourtia."

And so, the three resistance leaders left their interim flagship, setting course for snackfoods and adventure.