Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy
Teaser: McDreamy, McSteamy… meet McJuicy
Notes: had to get this out before the outage tonight. XD Just wanted to get posted. Tomorrow I have A.P. exams… so updating tomorrow was out of the question. God, I have A.P. on Wednesday too… I'm terrified...
/Chapter Three: Meredith/
They meet on the trail. They never plan it. It's better to think it's an odd, unplanned, coincidence, even though it's not.
As usual, Meredith greets him with a smile. Derek answers it and motions her over. Doc, fully healed and just a bit wild, rushes around them.
"So how are you feeling?" Meredith asks, hooking her hands into her down jacket.
"Better," Derek answers and tries not look at her. She comes to stand by his side and he tries to see if there is a noticeable difference. If she and McJuicy were going at it would he know? Would there be some difference in her posture?
Men like to whistle—or, at least, he does—and sometimes women hum during their mundane chores. If he remembers correctly, Meredith has a habit of smiling at the tiniest, insignificant things.
But would he notice?
He, after all, never saw George coming.
"That's good. A week. You had us worried, Doctor Shepard," Meredith teases, her voice light and friendly. He can't remember a time when it had been darkened with passion, husky from lusts and needs.
McJuicy might know, he thinks, battling surging anger.
"So are you, ah, still knitting?"
She sends him a sidelong glance. Then looks forward. "Yeah."
"Oh."
"Oh? What does that mean?" she demands, hitching a shoulder. "Are you using it as a metaphor for sex? Everyone seems to be doing that these days."
"No," he lies and then pauses. He whistles Doc over and the mutt comes to him, branch caught in his slobbery muzzle. Derek takes it and sends it flying. Doc zips into the trees after it. "Yes. So are you?"
"Are you asking as my friend? Or my not-friend?"
"I'm your friend, remember? We're not not-friends anymore."
"Well, sometimes you act like a not-friend. Mostly a friend, but there is a hint of not-friend in there. So, I want to know, are you asking as a not-friend?"
"No," he lies again and doesn't bothering admitting it's a lie. "I'm asking as a friend. In fact, I'll do one better. I'll be a big brother and beat the crap out him for looking at you." Which will give him satisfaction, but for a purely different reason.
"You wouldn't be able to," Meredith counters with a grin back in place.
"Hmm? I punched Mark pretty good. Remember?"
"Yeah. But Mark works with wannabe celebrates and rich socialites. Finn works with animals. Big, tough, burly animals. His face might actually break your fist if you try to punch him," Meredith warns him with a roll of her shoulder. "And those hands of yours are worth two million dollars."
It feels like she is so oddly brushing him off that it hurts. And still, he listens to her words, trying to see who she is protecting. Finn Dandridge or him.
"So this McJerky—"
"McJuicy. We call him McJuicy. And how did you know?"
"Addison. Sometimes she's confused as one of the girls."
"But she's not. One of the girls. She's an attending." Meredith shakes her head, sending her messy top of locks over her eyes. Derek remembers being able to brush them aside.
Against his side, his hand itches.
"This McJuicy, you like him? A lot?" he asks as they began a slow walk down the slope of the hill. The birds sing above their head and there is something dazzlingly wonderful about standing with her.
The guilt wells up, thinking this. Since he's never taken the time to go on walks with Addison like this.
Meredith sends him another sidelong glance, debating on whether he's a friend or a not-friend. Then she gives a small sigh, a tiny, secret smile working its way across her lips that has Derek quaking deep in his sneakers.
"I guess. He's funny. I haven't… laughed in a while, you know?" She looks quickly up at him, blinking. Then she looks down. "Not because of you so much. Well, not anymore. But just everything. George. My father. My family. Everything."
"Yeah. It's good that you're laughing," he tells her quietly. And that, at least, is the truth.
"You think?"
"Hmm."
They walk on for a bit longer in silence. Meredith's eyes are somewhere far off and thoughtful. She pursues her lips for a moment, then gnaws them, then grins.
"I like him," she tells Derek softly and it breaks his heart. Because all he hears is friend in her voice. "I mean, like a lot. And he's just so… persistent."
"So are you going to give up knitting?"
"No. At least, not yet." She smiles again, that secret smile he thinks he will always dread. Before, Meredith would have been careful about what she talked about around him. Men especially. But now…
Now she is too busy to concern herself with a love she doesn't believe exists.
And so he thinks: oh, Meredith…
"If… Meredith, if you like him, you should go after him. Right? He's a nice guy, isn't he?" Derek asks, not sure suddenly why he is asking. Only, he is and he can't seem to stop.
"He's the best," Meredith says quickly before she can stop herself. Then she fumbles, which is rare for Meredith Grey.
Derek thinks Meredith never fumbles.
"Well then…" he breathes, not sure what else to say. Well then is highly inadequate he knows, but he can't think of anything else to say. Because all he really wants to say is that he wants their almost-but-not-quite-friendship to be all she ever needs in the way of men.
It is selfish and he likes to think he is not a selfish man.
But it is hard to be selfless when he imagines another man running his fingers through Meredith's hair, feeling her melt and sigh against him. Those baby blue eyes of hers darkening into some almost black.
There have been other men since him, Derek knows. But Meredith has never sighed or smiled over them.
"Do you think I should, Derek?" she asks suddenly, the hitch in her voice surprising them both. She sounds like a youth seeking advice from the elder.
He looks at her, struck with the knowledge of how the caretaker of a broken bird must feel. He spends his time caring for a Meredith, mending her wings, or trying to. Watching her health progress into the green. And then, suddenly, she is ready to fly. And you almost want to hold them.
But the birds always get to fly in the end.
"If you really like him…" he starts and takes a small pause. He draws in a breath. "If you do, Meredith, then yeah. I think you should."
The smile that is on her face is watery and sad. Yes, it's over now. They both know. It's over between them now.
Or maybe, Derek tries to reason with his shattering heart, it'll never be over. They can't forget what they felt for each other in that brief half-year, right? Even if wives and boyfriends muck up the future and present, those pristine and happy moments between them must remain.
"I should go," Meredith says.
"Yeah," Derek agrees, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
She walks away and he watches her, wishing he could tell her that he feels like she is ripping his heart out of his chest. But he doesn't. That is a line he may never cross again. That is a line he drew himself.
Regrets swell inside him and then—
Meredith looks back, and her smile is radiant. "Thanks, Derek, for being a friend."
Her words break him and she will never know. His eyes are suspiciously dry as he manages that cocky McDreamy smile for her.
"No problem, Meredith."
He lifts his hand in a wave and she walks off.
notes: aw, let's a take a moment and feel bad for Derek. Okay we're done. He's the one that chose Addison, remember? Meredith has every right to move on. At least, I think she does. She should move on. Luckily, Finn's there!
And yeah, there's going to be another chapter. Since no one started cursing my family to the darkest depths of hell for pairing together Finn and Meredith I decided to add a heavy Meredith/Finn chapter. For kicks!
Reviewsluv24+Alias: for some reason I like Derek jealous, too. I mean, I kept waiting for the big blow out when Derek found out Meredith was sleeping for George. Never happened. I had a very WTF moment.
specialfrog: I can see Finn doing some chasing! XD And he does, in the story. But the ball is in Meredith's court, obviously.
TivoforSteavo: I'm glad everyone's in character! Making OOC is one of my greatest fears, you know.
SBandJasonSamfan: er… I'm not going to promise you Meredith/Derek because well… it's not happening. I have other heavy Meredith/Derek fics if you wanna check them out… hehe…
Heather0120: I sometimes feel bad for Addison. Bad in an you're-an-idiot kind of way. I mean, c'mon. She got McSteamy. What she's complaining about?
ilajkajas2215: I'm glad you do! This story is my first chaptered Grey's Anatomy story so well… thanks for the compliment!