Cloud came in after Kadaj, watching the boy drop himself at the foot of the bed, sheathed sword propped along his side. There was a small grin stretched across Kadaj's pink lips, tired, and not without some seriousness still lurking behind it, but the hours they'd spent together on the roof crossing blades had done much to release the tension that had been building inside. Leaning his own weapon against the wall, Cloud walked past and seated himself on the mattress, just behind the foot-board, and leaned his elbows on his splayed knees.
Both had sufficiently winded each other, neither had managed to damage the other, and they'd each made good on the opportunity to evaluate one another's skill. Cloud kept in mind that Kadaj was still shaken up and a little off his game, but it had been no less valuable an experience, being now a fighter truly experienced enough to calculate for the disadvantage. From what he had seen, under the training of Shin-Ra and with his own determination, at close to age 16 Kadaj had accomplished that which Cloud had only dreamed of then: to become peer to the legendary SOLDIER, Sephiroth.
Cloud had only achieved and surpassed that goal two years ago, but already he believed if they could be pitted against one another Kadaj could meet Sephiroth sufficiently in battle. His only weakness was his occasional desperate instability, but this was only a flaw of youth and his need to prove himself. Kadaj would eventually be able to discipline himself and weed that out, if it didn't get him killed. The only real uncertainty was whether or not the boy could learn to temper the cold hatred that had been both bred and beaten into him with a bit of humility and humanity.
Looking down at this being, simultaneously man, child, and other-worldly creature, he saw clearly the potential for immense greatness. Either of unfathomable evil, or, and Cloud considered this with something bordering on both awe and jealousy, Kadaj could claim the path of destiny abandoned by Sephiroth those many long years ago. For a moment he simply watched Kadaj's serene face, the silver fringe of his lashes resting lightly against his smooth cheeks… Then he reached down and mussed the boy's watery hair, smirking as Kadaj smiled at him and looked up. "Well?"
Kadaj was thoughtful for a moment, reaching up to half heartedly fix his hair. "I would have never defeated you. But I realized that before tonight. I knew it long before, and didn't want to believe it. I admitted it to myself finally, hanging from that edge. I could have let go and retrieved Souba, and you would have merely pursued me until I was destroyed, so I gave up. I reconciled myself to the knowledge that Mother had chosen Sephiroth and he was my only chance of defeating you, of giving Mother what she wanted… But you're stronger even than I thought. Stonger than him."
"I had more at stake, and he under estimated the importance of that. Once, Sephiroth was a great and admirable warrior who possessed much deep and painful wisdom. I do not believe that man exists any longer. Jenova poisoned him beyond healing, then tore him apart until not one shred of his once noble soul actually remained. She keeps his memories, jealously, but ever since that day in Nibleheim he'd been changed, and when we met him again in the Temple of the Ancients, seeking the materia that summoned Meteor, he was no longer anything like the man Sephiroth. Not in speech or actions…"
"You're not wrong," Kadaj drew his knees up against his chest, fingers laced loosely in front of himself. "She uses him as she would a mask, while she uses us like dolls…"
Cloud reached down again, this time smoothing the young man's hair instead of mussing it. Kadaj leaned in like a cat, pushing into his niisan's palm, seeking comfort from the unaccustomed affection. "I'm not going to tell you what you have to do, Kadaj… Or even what you should. But you can resist her, if you want to, if you try." He listened to the boy sigh, a noncommittal silence that he well understood. Cloud did not expect Kadaj to take only a few short days to decide everything, and as far as he knew, they had time. "You are strong though."
"…Thank you." Kadaj's gratitude was quiet, but the feeling profound. Cloud's appraisal, for some reason, was so much more gratifying to him than that of Shin-Ra or Jenova, for whose sake he had been created. Perhaps because his niisan needed nor expected nothing of him it seemed so much more sincere. It lacked the vanity of those who had shaped his existence, and though he hadn't quite decided to betray his mother and follow the black sheep of their family, the kind words of faith did him immeasurable good.
"I'm going to get cleaned up. There are some t-shirts in the bottom drawer, old and soft, if you want something to sleep in," Cloud gestured offhandedly as he rose and moved for the door. Kadaj planted a palm to the floor and pushed himself up, going to look as his niisan disappeared down the hall. Once he'd chosen a shirt, faded navy blue, he took a moment to explore the room with his eyes, while pulling shirts off and over his head.
The room was fairly Spartan, but clean and comfortable, in tones of off white, dark greys and deep blues. A few photographs of Cloud with some of the orphans and his friends. Kadaj didn't think he'd ever had his picture taken for anything but for Shin-Ra to keep on file. Full body mug-shots, and perhaps stills taken from the video records of his combat training. Nothing sentimental.
He pulled on a pair of light grey pyjama pants and seated himself on the edge of the bed, considering silently, until Cloud returned.
VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII
Tifa watched the upstairs light go out, and finally put the tequila away. She'd polished off what Reno had left with out even noticing how rapidly the liquor disappeared, and she was well sloshed enough not to even realize that she'd clumsily slipped an empty bottle back onto the shelf.
Keeping her eyes turned sullenly away from the staircase as she came out from around the bar, Tifa considered her options and decided she didn't want to make the climb all the way up to her own room. At the moment she didn't want to be that near to Cloud. She was annoyed with him, because she didn't want to be angry with herself right now, and decided if she did make it up the stairs she'd probably end up barging in and swearing him out. And he'd just stare at her with those huge blue eyes and take every insult that she hurled at him like a penance, before he'd finally look away. She couldn't bear the thought of watching his eyes slip away from hers one more time.
Tears sprung up, catching in her dark eyelashes so they stuck together in little ragged looking clumps, and she turned away from that wall entirely. Which put her face to face with Marlene and Denzel's door… Only Marlene and Denzel weren't sleeping in that room tonight, some one else was. A big, stoic TURK with long, strong arms and a steady, hazel coloured gaze.
Tifa bent down and fumbled with her shoe laces, finally wrestling the knots open and slipped the high-tops off. With them went her socks, and then she was pushing herself up unsteadily, but walked with surprising stealth across the bare, clean hardwood floor. Only the bare minimum of security lighting was on in the bar now, hardly illuminating the tall figure in Denzel's bed as Tifa cracked the door, closing it immediately once she'd slipped in.
Her eyes were already adjusted to the dark, seeing Rude's shape outlined in the night-time city lights pooling through the windows. He was little more than silhouette even when she stood directly over him, pressing slim hands down on the pillowy mattress. The TURK didn't flinch, had probably already been awake and watching her the moment she'd opened the door, perhaps only a little surprised it hadn't been his redhead punk-ass friend. But Tifa didn't wait for words or reactions before she grasped and lifted the sheet and covers, sliding in with more grace than she'd expected of herself next to him.
"Rude… Watashi no koto, suki?" He didn't answer her, but this close she could make out his features, the soft glow of distant electric light reflected in his masked gaze. His brows were knit, even deeper than before, and Tifa slid herself even closer, crossing one slim thigh over his. The TURK slept bare, as she'd expected. "Ne… doushite?"
"…Tsuyoi kara"
Tifa flinched. Tears threatened once again and she turned her face into the mattress, hiding herself behind the edge of the down pillow on which Rude rested his head. She knew she smelt of alcohol, and that simple explanation, so contrary to how she felt, made her see herself as small and pitiful, her actions unspeakably cheap. Sucking in a shuddering breath, she finally burst out softly, losing to her tears. "…I don't think I'm very strong. I bet right now I look pretty damn weak, too…"
"No."
"…No?" The quiet firmness caught Tifa off-guard, she didn't understand him, and now that she was crying, she couldn't stop herself.
Rude pushed himself up onto his elbow and covered her trembling shoulder with his other hand, squeezing ever so gently. "Not weak, just… hurt." She didn't answer him, and Rude was silent a moment himself before he managed to find his words. "Look… It isn't easy for me to say things, but… I like you because you're strong enough to resist me." He knew he was still off when he felt Tifa go slightly tense, lamenting that he was not more erudite.
"Dou yuu imi?" She demanded, reasonably, and Rude fought with himself once again to explain.
"No, I don't mean it like that…" He looked away from her a moment when she turned her dark eyes up to search him, but met her gaze once more as he tried to salvage the situation, convince her he wasn't some sort of sadist. "It's because of what I am. Who I work for. And my image. … A lot of women avoid me because they're afraid. I turn away more because I know they'd still always be too scared to be honest with me. They'd think I could hurt them…"
Tifa could see where he was going. She imagined it would be a miserable sort of relationship, being always so intimidating, never sure if your lovers really trusted you, or were just too damned scared to speak up for themselves…
"But you're strong. You've stood against the entire Shin-Ra corporation, the worst monster the Planet has ever seen, and the sordid history of your closest friend. You're still fighting now. Tomorrow you'll wake up, take some pain killers and keep working to save this place. … Needing some one along the way isn't weakness. I know that. Why do you think us TURKs have partners? That we're a team?"
She considered all he said, silently, still not entirely convinced she didn't deserve these lingering feelings of self-doubt and shame. But she was infinitely relieved that he didn't seem to think her a slut for sneaking in here… Taking the opportunity to switch tracks though, she asked, tentatively, "Ne… Why did you join the TURKs, anyway?"
For the first time, Tifa watched a small smile steal across Rude's face. The look was nostalgic, a little embarrassed even. "Oh… That really is a story you ought to hear from Reno…"
She frowned, the redhead finally entering the conversation. "I don't think Reno and I are going to be on speaking terms for a while…"
Rude frowned softly as well, but didn't ask about the details. She didn't blame him. She didn't really want to give him reason to fall out with his best friend. Reaching up and smoothing that frown with her palm, she coaxed him back to more pleasant topics. "C'mon, tell me… How did you get caught up with a group like the TURKs?"
The smile crept up slowly again and Rude settled himself more comfortably along side her, gesturing off handedly. "Well, Reno and I had been running together in the slums since we were kids, causing all sorts of trouble. But all this really started when Reno took it into his head to double cross Don Zhang, who was in charge of the Sector Six red light district before Corneo got his grubby hands on it…"
VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII
Cloud felt Makou eyes trained on him even before he was truly awake. He'd been dreaming something indistinct and patently unsettling when he'd become aware of the jade gaze boring into him.
It was just still dark, on the edge of dawn before its first rosy tendrils touched the dark of the night sky, and everything else about Kadaj still seemed utterly asleep on the mattress across from Cloud, except his eyes. His whole body was still relaxed, one hand curled loosely up close to his mouth, and his breathing was perfectly even as one so gone as to be in dreamless sleep, but consciousness lurked beyond his silver lashes and despite the dark the feral pupils of his eyes were constricted tight.
Cloud regarded the familiar alien intelligence silently, for a moment afraid that he had made a grave mistake… but then Kadaj's lashes drifted closed, he whimpered softly and was still. Cloud waited briefly before he reached out and shook Kadaj gently awake, sighing his own immense relief as wider, puzzled pupils slowly lifted and met his. "You were tossing. Dreaming?" he lied.
Kadaj merely shrugged one shoulder, sighed a closed mouth sort of yawn, and turned back over to sleep.
Author's Remarks: I bet you thought I DIED! Nope. Just got a PS2 and a new copy of FFVII for Yule I'll finish this fanfic if it kills me! Now, I have to go get ready for work. : P
Translations:
"Watashi no koto, suki?" – "Do you, like me?"
"Tsuyoi kara" – "Because you're strong."
"Dou yuu imi?" – "What do you mean?"