Chapter 17
Days Away from Eternity
"Where did that kid come from?"
"Yeah, I thought only that girl was out on the lake."
"He must've swam out there to get her after she fell in."
"But I didn't see anyone go out there, did you...?"
Syaoran did his best to tune out the whispers of the crowd and hoped that Sakura wasn't listening. But the paramedics were swarming all over her like bees around a disturbed hive and they were just as noisy. Still, with Sakura obscured from view, the crowd only had Syaoran to look at. He wished everyone would just stop staring at him like he was some kind of alien specimen.
"Kid, are you sure you don't want to be looked over?" one of the paramedics asked him for the billionth time. "Just let me take your blood pressure—"
"No," Syaoran said firmly. He flung his arms wide and waved them around, showing that he was in perfect health. "There's nothing wrong with me, see? Just make sure Sakura's okay."
"Fine," the paramedic said irritably. "But we need to get some information from you before you leave. Don't go anywhere without letting us know."
"I'll try," Syaoran replied grimly.
Tomoyo and Eriol burst through the crowd just then. Tomoyo was white as a sheet, her lavender eyes carrying a sort of after-panic desperation. Eriol just looked concerned, as if he hadn't been surprised at this turn of events at all, but still cared about the result.
"They just let us through," Tomoyo said. Her voice was steady and calm, despite the fact that she was shaking all over. "Where's Sakura-chan?"
Syaoran pointed to the dozen or so paramedics who each had a different medical device in their hands and applying them in turn to the unfortunate person who sat in the middle of the group.
Tomoyo made her way over to them, hoping to get a glance at Sakura. She wasn't tall enough to see over the group, so she held her camcorder up above her head and used it somewhat like a periscope. As soon as the camera popped up, a muffled but cheerful voice exclaimed "Tomoyo-chan!" from within the center.
Eriol stood off a little bit from all the commotion like an oasis of tranquility. He looked relieved, but his warm smile was as smug as ever. It had never been more obvious to Syaoran that Eriol knew way more than he let on.
Syaoran knew he probably wouldn't get a chance to talk to Eriol alone like this ever again. But still, the thought of asking Eriol to share his knowledge was irritating and embarrassing.
However, Syaoran desperately needed the information. After all, it was for Sakura.
"Hiiragizawa," he said quietly, almost hoping Eriol wouldn't hear him.
"Yes, Reed-kun?" Eriol said, feigning surprise.
"Is it over?" Syaoran asked, looking at the sky next to Eriol's head.
Eriol slowly shook his head, his smile melting away into stern seriousness. His aura flushed with an air of doom.
"It's only just begun," he said. He turned to Syaoran and looked deep into Syaoran's eyes, his own eyes like ice. "And it won't end until one of you leaves this place. That is the only thing that will make everything all right."
Syaoran nodded. He'd never felt more numb. "That's what I thought."
"I'm sorry I can't help more," Eriol said, his voice carrying a hint of genuine sadness. "But I'm just an observer. I have no more of an idea as to what Chaos is planning than you do."
"I'm sure you have more of an idea than I do," Syaoran said bitterly.
"True," Eriol replied, his warm smile coming back to the surface. "But it's all theory and nothing that will really help you. Besides, you seem to be doing just fine on your own."
Syaoran retreated into stony silence. Eriol quickly took the hint and moved away, his face twisted with concern once again and any hint of smugness long gone.
A paramedic broke away from the crowd and trotted back over to Syaoran. "Your friend seems fine."
Syaoran sagged with relief, even though his body was incapable of holding tension. He looked over to where Sakura was visible again, wrapped in an insulated blanket and her matted hair getting blown all over the place by the heaters she was up against. She gave Syaoran a sheepish smile from her spot which forced him to smile in return.
"But we can't release either of you until we speak with an adult," the paramedic added. "Especially if you're refusing treatment. We tried contacting Kinomoto-san's family, but no one was—"
"Excuse me, I need to get through. I'm her brother," a voice said gruffly from within the crowd. Everyone parted, revealing a surprisingly calm Touya. He hurried over to Sakura, casting a look at Syaoran that could cut diamonds as he passed.
"Onii-chan..." Sakura said as Touya approached. "Why are you here? I thought you were working."
"Are you alright?" Touya said, kneeling down to Sakura's level and gripping her shoulders. "What happened?"
A shy, embarrassed smile crossed her face. "I fell in the lake."
"You what! How?" Touya exclaimed.
"Are you a relative, sir?" the paramedic who'd been harassing Syaoran came up behind Touya. He must've the one in charge.
Touya got up and turned around, his demeanor changing instantly from frightened brother to authoritative guardian. "Yes. I'm her brother."
"Your sister had a very serious accident this evening, sir," the chief paramedic said, looking profoundly official. "She was skating out out on the lake when the ice gave way. All this warm weather lately must've weakened it."
"Is she going to be alright?" Touya asked, turning back around to look at Sakura. She looked fine.
"According to eyewitness accounts, the girl and her friend," the chief paramedic gestured to Syaoran. "were in the water for approximately 30 seconds before they were able to make it to the shore. However, despite the risk of hypothermia and other complications, your sister seems to be fine. She has a slightly raised blood pressure reading, but that's not surprising and quite normal under the circumstances."
"I see," Touya said. "So can I take her home?"
"I don't really see any reason for her to be hospitalized," the chief paramedic said. "But the final decision is really up to her parents. Do you have a number where we could reach one of them?"
"Yeah, sure," Touya said. He and the chief paramedic walked off a ways to begin tackling all the tedious paperwork. Sakura gave Syaoran a glance like "sorry" and joined the conversation over the paperwork.
The other paramedics began packing up all their equipment. Syaoran thought for a moment he was off the hook until one of them broke off from the group and headed straight for him, carrying a clipboard. Syaoran sighed through his aura. This was going to be tough with all the questions.
"Before you can officially refuse treatment," the paramedic guy said, waving his clipboard around. "We're going to need to talk to your parents."
"My parents are dead," Syaoran said emotionlessly.
"Oh," the paramedic said, a bit taken aback. "Well... then we need to speak with your guardian."
"He's not alive either," Syaoran said, thinking of Yue and fuming.
"Uh, okay," the paramedic said, flipping through the papers on the clipboard nervously. "Then we need to speak with the person you're living with."
"I don't live with anyone," Syaoran replied airily.
"Listen kid," the paramedic was obviously just annoyed now. "There has to be someone who's taking care of you. If not, we can hospitalize you tonight, then have a representative from the foster home come down in the morning and talk with you about your family—"
"Please excuse my cousin sir," Eriol spoke up suddenly, getting between Syaoran and the paramedic in a very disarming fashion. "He's been through a rough time lately."
The paramedic seemed to relax. "You're a relative, then?"
"Yes, sir," Eriol said as if he were proud the fact. He extended his hand. "Reed-san is my father's wife's brother's son, you see."
"I... see," the paramedic said, clearly not seeing anything at all.
"He's currently staying with a friend of the family and I'm afraid he's not quite adjusted yet," Eriol said, speaking distinctly, but very quickly. He took the clipboard from the paramedic's hand and produced a pen seemingly out of thin air. "But I'd be happy to give you all the information you need. Where should I begin?"
"Well, I suppose..." the paramedic trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.
"You know, I can't hear you very well over this heater," Eriol said, guiding the paramedic away from Syaoran. "How about we move someplace a bit quieter?"
"Right..." the paramedic said, awkwardly following Eriol out of earshot.Syaoran glared after Eriol, his aura going black. The thought of actually being related to Eriol was downright indignant. And yet, it was nice to have the officials off his back. If Eriol hadn't stepped in, the conversation could've gone off in a dangerous direction. Syaoran shuddered at the thought of being locked away while Sakura needed his help.
Fujitaka arrived a few minutes later, concerned but calm. He talked with the chief paramedic for a bit and, per his recommendation, decided to take Sakura home. Syaoran was surprised with how easily things went in favor of Sakura's ultimate safety. The fact made him more than a little wary.
Once again, he felt as if he was missing something. Something very small, but extremely important.
And just out of reach.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sakura was saying goodnight to
Tomoyo and Eriol.
"Well, I had a great time up until now,"
Sakura said, making a face. "Sorry about ruining all the fun."
"Don't be silly, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo cut in quickly. "Falling into the ice wasn't your idea."
Eriol chuckled softly. "Certainly you don't think this fiasco erased all the fun we had before. At least we have the memories."
Syaoran scowled at the words. Something about the phrase struck a cord with him.
As if memories are enough, Syaoran thought unconsciously. The words in his head were extremely bitter.
Fujitaka came up to the group then, a folder of paperwork in his hands and a weary smile on his face. "Well, that's it. We can leave. Daidouji-san, can I give you a ride home?"
Tomoyo shook her head. "No thank you, sir. I've called for a driver to come for me and Eriol-san. We live kind of out of the way and I want Sakura-chan to get home as soon as possible."
Fujitaka nodded, looking grateful. He turned to Syaoran. "What about you, Reed-san?"
"I'll just walk," Syaoran said without hesitation.
"No way!" Sakura said, drawing her towel tightly around herself. The paramedics had given her a dry set of clothing, but her hair was still damp and she shivered a bit in the cold. "It's freezing!"
"You live near the park, correct?" Fujitaka asked. "We'll pass by there as we head home. It wouldn't be a problem to drop you off on the way."
Syaoran was prepared to put up more of a fight, but the pleading look on Sakura's face instantly brought down his defenses.
"Okay," Syaoran said slowly, as if giving in to some horrible temptation. "If it really wouldn't be a bother."
Fujitaka shook his head. "Of course not."
Touya came up behind Fujitaka then. "Are we ready to go?"
Fujitaka nodded. "We can leave."
Sakura turned around and said a final goodnight to Tomoyo and Eriol, promising them that she'd see them at school in the morning. Then she followed Fujitaka and Touya to the car that was parked at a panicked angle near the tent.
Syaoran followed a few paces behind Sakura, quickly leaving Eriol behind.
Touya scowled at Syaoran as he slid into the backseat next to Sakura. It was the first time that Touya had really acknowledged Syaoran's existence since they formally met at dinner. But the acknowledgment faded fast, replaced by an air of detachment as his eyes slid off Syaoran and into the air beyond the windshield.
Syaoran could tell the heater was on full-blast in the car by the way the windows fogged up quickly. The ride to the apartment complex by the park didn't take very long. Syaoran found himself sitting in the car by Wei's building in no time at all.
"Thanks for the ride," Syaoran said, moving to get out.
"You're welcome Reed-san," Fujitaka said pleasantly. "It's the least I can do after how they said you helped Sakura-san tonight."
"Yeah..." Syaoran said, feeling awkward. "Well, goodnight."
He opened the car door and climbed out.
"Goodnight," Fujitaka said from inside.
"I'll walk you up!" Sakura said, bolting out of the car before anyone could stop her.
"Hey!" Touya said, leaning out the window.
"I'll be right back," Sakura said, taking Syaoran's hand and steering him toward the building. "It'll only take a second."
"Just let her go," Fujitaka chided Touya gently.
Syaoran quickly led Sakura into the apartment building's lobby. "You really should just get home and rest," he said. "Especially after tonight."
Sakura shook her head. "I can't rest until I know you're okay."
Syaoran's eyes widened a bit and then the corners of his mouth sloped upwards. "Then we have the same problem."
Syaoran led Sakura up to Wei's apartment on the third floor after she refused to send him off in the lobby. They stopped outside the door, feeling as if they were making a huge racket in the quiet hallway.
"Goodnight," Syaoran said quietly, letting go of Sakura's hand with a yank as if releasing a magnet from metal. "I'm sorry about tonight."
Sakura's expression furrowed. "What do you mean 'I'm sorry'? I should be saying that, not you. You're not the one who made the suggestion to go ice skating, remember?"
"But I couldn't help you until the last second," Syaoran said, putting his forehead on top of Sakura's head. He wanted to be as close to her as possible right then; He never wanted to leave her alone again. "I was stupid to leave you."
Sakura pulled away from Syaoran so she could stare him straight in the face. Her emerald eyes were soft and reassuring as she searched his face.
"I'm not asking you to become a psychic for me. How were you supposed to know what was going to happen tonight?" Sakura's gaze softened and welled up with the same kind of feeling that weighed heavily in Syaoran's soul right then. "All that matters is that you were there when I needed you the most. The very second I thought that I might be in really big trouble, you suddenly appeared. And that's the best thing about you."
Her words were supposed to make him feel better, but right then, she was hitting him in every vulnerable spot he had.
In a few days... Syaoran thought sadly as he looked into Sakura's grateful eyes. I'm going to completely abandon her.Then she'll look back on this conversation and hate me.
It was then that he realized how important the deal he made with Tomoyo was. Sakura really did have to know about the fact that Syaoran was leaving. He didn't want Sakura to think that he abandoned her because he wanted to.
"Sakura..." Syaoran said slowly, the sound of her name filling up his aura. "I need to tell you something."
"Sure," Sakura said, taking Syaoran's hand. "Anything."
She was so sincere about it, as if she really was prepared to accept anything Syaoran had to tell her. But she obviously had no idea was he was going to say...
Because she didn't look as sad as Syaoran felt.
Dozens of lies passed through his head. Which one would hurt her the least? It was impossible to tell her the truth because that would only make her think he was crazy. Not only would he need to tell her that he was the ghost who once haunted the house she lived in, but also that she was the object of a war between Order and Chaos where her fate determined the winner. And even if, by some great leap of faith, she believed him, how would that knowledge make his disappearance any less painful for either of them? It could even make things worse.
And secretly, Syaoran didn't want to give the truth words... because words would make it real.
But reality was the one thing Sakura couldn't afford to lose.
"I..." Syaoran said, Sakura's hand weighing heavily in his own. "I have to go."
"Oh, right," Sakura said, squeezing Syaoran's hand, then dropping it. She gave him a sheepish smile. "I guess I should get going too. Otou-san and onii-chan are waiting."
Syaoran shook his head slowly, simultaneously relieved and frustrated that Sakura got the wrong message. Despite his conflicting feelings, he began to forge on with the conversation anyway, almost as if he couldn't help it. "That's not it. I mean—"
Just then, the door in front of them opened and light flooded into the dim hallway.
"I thought I heard voices," Wei said, smiling warmly under his mustache. He paused and turned to Sakura as if just catching sight of her. "Good evening. Are you a friend of Syaoran's?"
Sakura nodded and bowed lightly. "Sakura Kinomoto. And you must be Wei-san, right?"
Wei's warm smile spread into his eyes. "That's right. Would you like to come in? I just put some tea on."
"Oh, I really can't..." Sakura said, looking genuinely pained. "My family is waiting for me downstairs."
"Besides, you really should go home and get some rest," Syaoran said firmly.
Sakura grinned and put a hand behind her head. "Yeah, well, same to you," she turned to Wei. "Nice to meet you. Sorry I can't stay."
"Of course your health some first, Sakura-san," Wei said, eying her damp hair and unseasonal clothes. "I can see it has been quite a day."
"That's one way of putting it," Sakura said, beaming a smile. She turned back to Syaoran, her smile threatening to melt him. "Well... goodnight, Syaoran-kun."
No matter how many times she said his name, the effect it had on him never lessened. The air itself seemed to reverberate with the sound and it panged deep inside his hallow chest. He wished the feeing would stay forever...
"Goodnight," Syaoran said, the word catching in his throat as if he were choking on it.
...But forever was one too many goodbyes away.
Sakura turned and walked a few paces down the hall. Right before she got to the stairwell, she paused and turned around. Her expression was thoughtful and a bit confused.
"Weren't you going to tell me something?" Sakura said as if remembering something she was about to leave behind.
Syaoran shook his head, refusing to let any of the longing he felt leak into his expression. "It's not as important as you getting a good night's sleep. I'll tell you later."
Sakura smiled, but the confusion remained. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"
Syaoran slowly nodded. "I promise I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good," she said, her smile reaching her eyes again and her features sagging with relief.
"'Night..." Syaoran said, watching Sakura disappear down the stairwell.
"See you tomorrow!" Sakura's voice drifted up from the hallway and then faded away, the echoes ringing hollowly in Syaoran's ears.
"Definitely tomorrow," Syaoran said, clutching his numb fists until he should have started bleeding.
But there was nothing there.
"Here," a shadowy figure said, holding out an object to Sakura. The shadow had long, calf-length hair and a distinctly female figure. The only other feature that Sakura could make out was the shadow's ruby eyes.
Sakura reached for the object. Her mind was cloudy and numb. She knew she should be more questioning, but she didn't know what questions to ask. So she took what was handed to her.
It was a knife. A kitchen knife with a sleek black handle and a dangerously sharp blade.
"That's for you," the shadow said, her voice like velvet. "So you can end it now."
"End it?" Sakura said, unsure and uncomfortable. She held the knife in the exact same position as when it was handed to her.
"It's going to get painful," the shadow said sweetly. "And when it does, you're going to wish you had it."
"I don't understand," Sakura said, feeling like darkness was approaching. She didn't know this person, but she suddenly wanted to be far away.
"Look where you are, you silly girl," the shadow said, gesturing widely around her.
It was the center of the maze. The green walls where tallest here between all the openings where the paths spilled out into this one and only exit. The shadowed woman and Sakura were standing beside a swirling mass of darkness on the ground that was like a black hole. The sight filled Sakura's being with an overwhelming sense of dread. She stumbled away from it, almost tripping over herself to get away. But she could only go so far.
"It's waiting for you," the shadow said, crossing her arms nonchalantly. "The Void only takes those who give up, but... everyone eventually gives in. In the meantime, it hurts," She nodded to the knife that Sakura as still holding. "That's why I suggest you use that. That way it will be over in an instant. For you and for them."
"Them?" Sakura asked.
"The people who love you," the shadow said. "The people who don't want to see you suffer. They want to see it end quickly. Then they can begin to heal. And when its their time to meet the Void, they can hopefully enter it with as much dignity as you did."
"The people who love me..." Sakura said.
Something snapped inside her then. The fog around her mind cleared and without a moment's hesitation, she threw the knife directly into the Void. She watched as it was dissected and swallowed by the Void molecule by molecule. The gruesome process continued even as Sakura turned to face the shadow.
"The people who love me," Sakura said. Her body was trembling, but her voice was rock steady. "Would never want me to just give up and take the easy way out. They would want me to fight, even if it's painful... Because there's always a chance that things will work out. And if there's even a glimmer of hope, I will cling to it forever."
A smile spread on the shadow's face. She chuckled a bit, but there was irritation evident in her gestures. "Well, that last part certainly backfired," She said it as if she was talking to someone else. Then the shadow shrugged and addressed Sakura directly again. "Do what you like. I tried to persuade you to end it early and make it easier on everyone. But you obviously want to make this as difficult as possible. That's fine by me.
"Because, the harder things are, the better it is for me," the shadow said, getting so close to Sakura that she could smell the shadow's sweet perfume. "After all, I am the grand master of all things difficult."
Sakura's eyes snapped open and she sat up quickly.
She was in her room. With the pink curtains on the wall and the shelf above her bed displaying all her stuffed animals. Her desk was across the room with a few crumpled math worksheets and chewed pencils littering the desktop.
She was surprised to be here. Surprised as if she had woken up in some strange place that was not her bedroom.
It had been so real, that dream. Sakura was positive that, somehow, the conversation she just had actually happened. But the words and images in the dream were already fading quickly like water down a drain. Soon there was nothing left except an overwhelming feeling of ominous dread.
And the horrible urge to vomit.
Sakura slowly lowed herself back to her pillows and waited for the whirlpool in her stomach to subside. Her head felt like it was going to float away.
She glanced at her beside clock. 8:30am, it read. At least she had slept through the night this time, the maze only waking her at the very end. But this time the dream had been different. Although she couldn't remember what she had seen there, she knew that she was in the middle of it – the center of the maze. And something was there... something she hoped she would never see again.
She racked her brain trying to remember, but it only made her dizzy.
Really dizzy, actually. She kept completely still for several minutes until the spinning finally stopped. Then she lay still for several minutes more, just to be safe.
Eventually there was a knock on the door and it opened wide with a creak.
"It's been a while since I had to come in her and wake you up," Touya's voice sounded from the doorway. "You haven't been late for school in a while."
"Is it time already?" Sakura said, unwilling to turn her head to check the clock for herself.
"Yep," Touya said. "And that kid is waiting outside in the cold for you. He really isn't that bright, is he?"
"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura said, sitting up. She tried her best to ignore the wave of dizziness that seemed to spin the universe around her. Despite the unpleasantness, she smiled. "He's here."
"What else is new?" Touya said, glaring toward the window. Then he turned and eyed Sakura as she began to climb clumsily out of bed. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Sakura said, making her way to the closet to get her uniform out. "Just a little dizzy."
Suddenly, Touya grabbed Sakura's shoulder and spun her around to face him. He kneeled and looked directly into her eyes, his own searching her face knowingly.
"You look flushed," Touya said, smacking a hand to her forehead. "And you feel warm."
"I just got out of bed," Sakura said, on the defensive. "My covers were warm."
Touya glared. "Do you feel sick?"
"I feel fine," Sakura said, assuring herself as much as she was Touya. "And besides, I promised Syaoran-kun I'd be at school today. If I don't go, he'll worry. Tomoyo-chan too."
"Should they be worried?" Touya asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope" Sakura said, resuming the retrieval of her uniform from the closet. Then she looked up at Touya meaningfully. "I'll be fine. Really."
There was a long, frozen pause between the two as Touya glared and Sakura tried to look as healthy as possible without starting to bounce around the room. Finally Touya relented and started toward the door.
"If you say so," he said, grabbing the handle. "Just don't forget what happened last night. You shouldn't expect yourself to be in top form after something like that. Take it easy today and come right home after school."
"Right!" Sakura said, sagging with relief. Then she sagged a little too much, lost her balance, and stumbled a bit.
Touya sighed from the door. "I should tell otou-san."
"No, no," Sakura said, waving her arms around. "I'm okay. I just—"
Touya sighed again and yanked the door open. "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Get dressed. You shouldn't keep that little brat waiting outside."
Sakura smiled at Touya's back as he left. "Thanks, onii-chan."
"I just know I'm going to regret this," Touya said, his voice weighed down. The somber tone surprised Sakura and pitched her stomach oddly.
Or maybe that was just the dizziness.
The sky threatened bad weather with dark gray clouds that hung low over the town. A fine mist of freezing rain saturated the air, turning the few inches of old snow on the ground into a muddy, disgusting slush.
Syaoran poked some of it with his foot and watched as it sloshed onto the sidewalk like some kind of horrible ooze. He also observed with interest how the wetness seeped into his shoe and up his pant leg.
It must be freezing, Syaoran thought to himself, sadness clinging to him like a fly to flypaper.
He turned to face the Kinomono house. It was getting late. He would've been more worried, only he could see the brother and father bustling around in the kitchen. If something was wrong, they wouldn't be going through the same-old routine.
Would they?
Just as Syaoran was about to get really worried, Sakura finally opened the door, quietly shut it behind her, and took the steps one at a time as she headed for the sidewalk.
Syaoran lowered his gaze as she approached and glared.
"Morning Syaoran-kun," Sakura said, smiling weakly. "Sorry to make you wait. Onii-chan was being his usual nosy self. I had to practically shove him—"
"You walked down the steps," Syaoran said, his dark brown eyes searching her face. "You never just walk out the door and down the steps. You always burst out the house and bounce down the steps and take off down the sidewalk."
"Hoe..." Sakura muttered as Syaoran stared at her.
"It's not like you," he said firmly. "Is something wrong?"
Sakura always knew Syaoran was observant, but she never knew that he was so observant of her. She struggled to come up with a good defense while attempting to process the revelation.
"Did you get hurt last night?" Syaoran asked, his eyes getting big. "Did you twist your ankle or something like that? Should I carry you? I could carry you."
But he's always focused on the outside of people, Sakura thought. He forgets that people can hurt inside too. No matter how much observant he is, he only looks for what he can see with his naked eye.
Sakura smiled wide. She was learning so much about him.
When she smiled, Syaoran seemed to relax; not in his posture or the tension in his body, but his eyes softened and his lips curled upward ever so slightly. It was an awesome thing to watch.
"We better get going," Sakura said, taking Syaoran's hand and urging him forward. "We'll be late."
Syaoran eyed her seriously for a few moments. Sakura felt like the sick feeling in her stomach was visible to Syaoran's super glare.
"Alright," Syaoran said, finally relenting and starting toward the school. "But you better be okay."
"Good morning Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said cheerfully as Sakura approached her desk. Syaoran followed close behind, looking vigilantly concerned and watching her every subtle move.
"Morning," Sakura replied, flashing a faint smile and sitting down.
Tomoyo and Eriol exchanged glances. They turned to Syaoran as if he had Sakura's current mood and body temperature written on his face. But all he gave them was a dark look as he sat down in his desk an then glued his eyes in their normal position on the back of Sakura's head.
"You don't look as energetic as usual, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said when Syaoran didn't provide any useful information. "Is something wrong?"
Sakura tried to pass off her surprise with a nervous laugh. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Because it seems like something is wrong, Sakura-san," Eriol chimed in.
"Nope, you guys are wrong," Sakura said, beaming a smile that lit up her cheeks. "I'm fine."
Tomoyo and Eriol did the eye thing again — where they seemed to communicate only with their eyes.
Tomoyo opened her mouth, but the bell rang just then and cut her off. Sakura couldn't help but be relieved.
Before the bell was even finished ringing, the door to the classroom opened and, much to everyone's surprise, Mizuki-sensei stepped inside.
"Good morning everyone," the woman said. Even though she spoke the words with plenty of cheer, her smile didn't even reach her eyes.
The class began to mummer softly.
"Terada-sensei had a bit of bad luck this morning and I'm afraid he won't be able to join us until later in the day," Mizuki-sensei said. "So I will be taking over his homeroom class. He should get here before lunchtime."
Hands shot up in the air, but Mizuki-sensei only shook her head.
"It's nothing to be concerned about. Terada-sensei is not hurt, just having a bad start on the day," she said, smiling lightly.
The class relaxed and started on their usual homeroom study hour, taking out books and writing down notes.
Mizuki-sensei wandered to the window and stared outside. "It seems it's turning out to be quite a chaotic day for everyone."
Sakura could feel Syaoran shift in his seat behind her.
The class lapsed into silence as Mizuki-sensei moved to the desk and sat down.
Sakura pulled out her math workbook, determined to finish the lesson she left undone over the weekend. But as she stared at it, the lines in the figures on the page made her eyes blur until it made her dizzy. She hastily shut the notebook and held her head in her hands, willing the spinning to stop. But it only seemed to worsen as the dizziness leaked out of her head an into her face where it grew hot around her cheeks. Then it finally slipped into her stomach and stayed there, writhing and thrashing like a snake with its head in a vice.
Sakura wasn't even aware of anyone standing over her until a soft hand lifted her chin up. Mizuki-sensei stood there, looking seriously at Sakura's face.
"You don't look well, Sakura-san," she said softly, lifting her other hand to put it lightly on Sakura's forehead. "And you have a fever."
Before Sakura could protest, Mizuki-sensei turned to Tomoyo. "Diadouji-san, please take Sakura-san to the nurse's office so she can call home and get some rest."
"Yes ma'am," Tomoyo said, getting up and looking extremely relieved. She walked to Sakura's desk and took her by the elbow, gently but unyieldingly guiding her out of her seat and toward the door. "Shall we, Sakura-chan?"
"Hoeeeee..." Sakura murmured, surprised at how fast things were happening.
As Tomoyo and Sakura left the classroom, Syaoran quietly rose from his own seat and followed them out without a word or even a glance toward to the teacher.
"Li-san!"
Syaoran stopped. No matter how panicked he was about Sakura, the sound of his true name turned his movements to stone and his thoughts into frost. It was as if he had a curse put on his and that name was the incantation that bound him.
He turned slowly to find Mizuki-sensei standing in the hallway. It was only now, in the sunlight that cascaded into the hallway from the windows, that Syaoran really noticed her transformation. Her skin and lips were ashen and her eyes were rimmed with red as if she wanted to cry, but no tears would come. She walked over to Syaoran, her arms crossed tightly over her chest and her head bent. It was the posture of a mourner; someone who was approaching a grieving family member about their loss.
"I'm so sorry," she said, whispering in the silent hall. "I wish I could have stopped it. But everything fell so neatly into place. I didn't even realize it all until it was done."
"I don't have time for this," Syaoran said tersely, turning to go. "Sakura's—"
"It started with the nightmares," Mizuki-sensei said, cutting him off. "Didn't you notice? She hasn't been able to sleep. The dreams keep her awake."
"What?" Syaoran said, something dark growing in the pit of his being. "Are you talking about Sakura? She's been having nightmares?"
Mizuki-sensei nodded gravely. "It's the maze. It won't let her rest."
"Nightmares of a maze..." Syaoran said softly, dumbstruck.
We first met in a maze. Syaoran thought. But that was so long ago. She's still having nightmares about it?
"Then it was all the extra homework. It kept her up late," the woman said, putting a hand on her chest. "That was my fault."
Syaoran lowered his gaze. "You..."
"I didn't know," Mizuki-sensei said. "I swear I didn't. But the more work she got from me, the more she fell behind in other classes and the more she had to catch up. Then the chores began to pile up at home... She hasn't had a chance to rest."
The woman leaned in closer, a few strands of red hair falling into her face. "She's so tired, Li-san. Her body started shutting down. And when she was vulnerable... when, even for a moment, her system froze... Chaos took the opportunity to invade her."
The world fell out from beneath Syaoran's feet.
"Chaos got inside, Li-san," Mizuki-sensei said, bringing a finger up to Syaoran's chest. "It is inside her now."
"Inside? How? When?" Syaoran said, wanting to grab to woman and shake her. "What do you mean?"
"You said you'd protect her," Mizuki-sensei said, as if she hadn't heard Syaoran speak. "But protection is limited to keeping what's outside from getting in."
She took a step back.
"Now that what should be outside is inside, what can you do? It's not protection any longer, so what is it?" she asked, looking at Syaoran meaningfully.
Syaoran glared at the floor.
"It's a battle. I have to fight it."
Mizuki-sensei smiled, relief flooding her features. "You're still a threat to Chaos, Li-san. If the situation was set in stone, she wouldn't be watching you anymore, but she is. Your actions can still make a difference."
The woman leaned in close to whisper. "But you're not the only one Chaos still sees as a threat. Remember that."
Suddenly, without warning, Mizuki-sensei reached out and grabbed Syaoran. He struggled violently, but only until he realized that he wasn't being attacked. He was being hugged— hugged as if he were leaving to go somewhere from which he probably wouldn't return.
And it was over as soon as he realized. Then Mizuki-sensei was kneeling in front of him and gripping his shoulders hard.
"Good luck," she said, looking him right in the eye. "And please keep your promise."
"Whatever it takes," he said without hesitation.
Then he turned and ran from the woman toward the nurse's office, his mood somewhere between annoyed, confused, and panicked.
By the time he arrived, Sakura had been moved into one of the school's small infirmary rooms. Tomoyo was sitting in the chair next to the little cot, watching Sakura as she breathed heavily with an audible rasp in her voice.
Tomoyo looked up as Syaoran came into the room, putting a finger to her lips.
"She fell asleep as soon as she lay down," Tomoyo said softly. The corners of her eyes crinkled.
Syaoran came closer to the bed to see Sakura laying there with a pained expression, even in sleep. Her cheeks were bright red and stood out vividly against her sickly pale skin. Her breathing was shallow and labored.
I wonder if she's having that nightmare right now, Syaoran thought. A surge of frustration cut through him.
All his vows of protection were completely worthless now. He had kept an unblinking eye on Sakura, ready and tensed for whatever might come to harm her. If a meteor had fallen from the sky, Syaoran was sure he could have protected her somehow. At least then he could have seen it coming.
But what had come hadn't been a meteor. It wasn't even something he could see.
He hadn't considered that chaos would come in the form of something small. Small, in his mind, meant insignificant. That's what he had been missing all this time. He kept waiting and waiting for "the big one"; the single event that would decide everything. But chaos doesn't work that way. It keeps pushing and pushing until, eventually, something finally gives.
Until the scale finally balances out.
But, of course, Syaoran had no intention of letting Sakura be the one to make that balance.
In the vigilant silence between Syaoran and Tomoyo, voices came drifting in from the hallway outside the room.
"I didn't know someone was able to get in touch with her family so quickly," the school nurse's voice came first. "She just came in not ten minutes ago."
"She was acting odd this morning," a cool male voice said. Syaoran scowled at it even before the person it belonged to came into view. "I was sure that by now she'd be ready to go home."
The school nurse came in first, followed by Touya. His first glance was to Sakura on the bed, but then his eyes drifted to Syaoran as if to say, "not you again."
"Well, whether or not she wants to go, I think it would be best if she went home and got some rest in her own bed," the nurse said, looking at Sakura with a cocked head. "Pushing herself will only make her more ill."
Touya nodded, then strode up beside Syaoran to get a better look at Sakura. He put a hand on her head.
"Her fever's gotten worse," he said.
With the hand on her head, Sakura's eyes fluttered open.
"Onii-chan?" she said groggily. "Why are you here?"
The nurse gestured to Syaoran and Tomoyo. "You two can head back to class now. Your friend is going to go home and get some rest. You can talk to her after school if you must."
"Yes ma'am," Tomoyo said, reluctantly getting out of her chair. She touched Sakura's hand lightly as she headed for the door. "Feel better, Sakura-chan. I'll come by after school to see how you're doing."
"Thanks Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said, smiling weakly. "But I'm really fine."
Tomoyo chuckled. "I'm sure you are."
Then she walked out the door and down the hallway. Syaoran followed her after the nurse made it apparent that he wasn't welcome to stay.
Syaoran walked only as far as the doorway at the end of the hall where he stopped and waited. Tomoyo turned back around as if she had expected him to stop.
"Are you going home with her?" she asked, her lavender eyes somewhere between intrigued and knowing.
Syaoran nodded. "If the brother won't let me in the house, then I'll sit outside her window."
Tomoyo chuckled. "I see."
She paused for awhile and looked at Syaoran as if daring herself to ask him something.
"Reed-kun, did you tell her yet?" she finally asked.
It took Syaoran a moment to remember the promise he had made to Tomoyo the day before. Then he shook his head. "No."
Tomoyo seemed to sag gracefully with relief. "Ah," she said. There was another brief pause. "It's just... I was afraid that..."
She chuckled as Syaoran raised an eyebrow. "It's silly. I thought maybe, by telling her your secret, she got so upset that it made her ill. I thought for a moment that... you were the one who made her sick. Isn't that silly?"
Somewhere, Syaoran's spirit panged heavily with guilt.
"Well," Tomoyo said, smiling and backing away. "I suppose I will see you at Sakura-chan's house after school. Watch her for both of us, okay?"
Syaoran nodded firmly, still struck speechless by Tomoyo's accidental accusation. He watched her back as she walked back to class, each step away from Sakura seeming painful for her. Then she disappeared around the corner.
After a few minutes, rustling in the hallway behind Syaoran summoned all his attention back on Sakura.
"I suggest a cool compress and a few non-aspirin tablets like Tylenol to keep the fever down," the nurse's voice was saying. "And make an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible."
"Thank you," Touya's voice sounded. "I'll get right on it."
"Take care," the nurse said, her voice drifting away.
Touya emerged from the hallway, Sakura hitched piggy-back style on his back. She smiled faintly and waved at Syaoran weakly from under Touya's heavy coat. After looking at him for a few moments, she rested her head against Touya's shoulder and closed her eyes. The gesture was so unlike her usual cheerful self that it turned Syaoran's core to ice.
Something is really wrong with her. Syaoran thought, fighting panic.
Touya started for the exit from the school and Syaoran followed close behind, his eyes locked on the back of Sakura's head.
"Li-san!"
Syaoran growled when his movements stopped. That name again...
He turned as fast as the sound of his true name would let him. Eriol was sauntering up to him, the smug smile on his face as always. But there was something in his eyes... Syaoran squinted hard. Was he frightened for Sakura too?
"I'm sorry to stop you," Eriol said.
"Just tell me what you want," Syaoran snapped. "I have to go."
"Whatever happens," Eriol said, his smug smile wiped away with one blink of his eyes. "Don't let them take Sakura-san from the house."
"What? Why?" Syaoran said. "She needs to get to a hospital—"
Eriol cut him off with a shake of his head. "Order's presence is strongest in that house. It is the one place in the entire world where the powers of Chaos are weakened. And the last place you would ever want to take her is a hospital," a hint of a smile came back to his face. "Have you ever been to a hospital, Li-kun? Chaos rules there."
Syaoran shook his head as if to clear it. "I don't understand. Why is that house a safe haven for her?"
"Because Order spent the better part of the last fifty years watching over the ghost of a young boy who died there," Eriol said.
Syaoran's head snapped up, but he had nothing to say. Nothing to Eriol, anyway.
"You see, when a place is inhabited by a being like Order for so long, it tends to absorb its influence. You could say that, inside, Sakura is shielded from any further harm Chaos might cause her," Eriol said. He sighed. "Of course, the shield can't negate any of the effects she gained while outside Order's influence, but at least..."
It was strange to see an expression close to sadness on Eriol's usually smug face.
"At least there she will have a fighting chance..." Eriol said, his entire being emanating doom. "However small it may be."
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