When the Harrys Attack!

Author's Note: This first chappy is short, so you'll have to excuse me. For all of you BITINMY fans, this may be a little bland. It's something entirely amusing and cute, so it may not meet all of your drama needs. Characters copyright JKR.

Green eyes and blue eyes narrowed as the two sized each other up. Then Harry had to ruin it all by gurgling happily. Sirius couldn't help but to smile down at his godson, reaching a hand into the crib to affectionately scruff his inherited mop of dark hair. Poor kid, he thought, he's going to curse his father one day.

"Paff," said Harry to Sirius, the light of recognition in his bright green eyes. Though Sirius would hardly admit it to Harry's father, he had been delighted when Harry began calling him Padfoot…er, Paff, that is.

"Oh, good. He's awake," said a relieved voice from the doorway. A harassed looking woman leaned her head against the doorframe. Lily Evans-Potter was still beautiful, despite the obvious strain she was under nowadays. The Ministry of Magic was not an ideal place to work during these dark times. A smile lit her face when she saw her six-month-old son peeking through the bars of the crib at her. It quickly vanished, though, as she walked forward to join Sirius.

"I would have much preferred a baby-sitter, you know." She said, narrowing green eyes at him accusingly. Sirius lifted his eyebrows at her. It seemed that she still hadn't forgiven him for the time that he had cursed in the presence of the baby. Well, it wasn't HIS fault that Harry was a quick learner! He reached into the bed and picked Harry up, wiggling him a little in front of Lily.

"But you don't have a baby-sitter." Sirius said with a mischievous grin.

"And if you let him touch a Dungbomb or teach him another foul word—"

"You'll incarcerate me, shortly after gouging out my eyes and letting them float in acid." Sirius completed sarcastically, now holding his godson to his hip.

Lily sighed and performed her patented eyeroll before finally relenting, smiling a little. The two were like brother and sister, constantly bantering. Sirius could remember a time that Lily had gotten on his nerves (maybe it was the fact that James couldn't seem to live without her, or maybe it was because she was forever condoning their pranks) and it still happened occasionally. But she was his friend now and had been for a long time.

"Just…be careful." Lily said, a worry line appearing across her flawless brow, "Every day I wonder…" She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. Sirius waited, graciously allowing her to recover before responding.

"Me? Be careful?" Sirius said innocently, "I'll be the safety king."

"More like the safety queen," Remus said, poking his head in with a weary smile. He looked wan and pale as usual, but his face broke into a smile when he saw Harry cradled in Sirius's grasp, "Ready, Lily?" Lily had turned at the sound of Remus's voice and smiled at him as he came to stand with them. He affectionately mussed Harry's hair and glanced up at Lily, retracting his hand from her son's head. Instead, he gallantly offered his arm.

"Remus, thank you so much for agreeing to come with me." Lily said gratefully, accepting his arm.

"Only my pleasure. I don't think that James trusts Sirius with you all night." Remus replied, tossing a sly look at his mate.

"I always said that he knew me too well." Sirius quipped in return with a devilish grin. James was on duty tonight for the Order, helping to execute a stakeout mission at a well-known Death-Eater hangout. Sirius knew that he would much rather be taking Lily to the Ministry ball than doing Order work, so he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for his best mate.

"Be good, Sirius." Lily warned him.

"Don't the parents usually say that to the kid?"

"I did." Lily said with a smile. For a moment, she didn't look like a worried wife and mother, but like the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts, the Head Girl to James's Head Boy. The moment was soon gone as she allowed Remus to lead her out of the room. Sirius followed them out of the nursery.

"Bottle before bed at eight and carrots and ham at five?" He asked. He spent enough time with his godson to know his schedule by memory. Lily nodded in response.

"Bye-bye Harry. Bye, Sirius." Remus said, waving as they reached the door.

"Bye-bye-byeee!" Harry said energetically from Sirius's arms, bouncing with each syllable.

"Bye, darling." Lily leaned over and kissed her son before the two of them stepped outside of the door.

"Don't get TOO sloshed!" Sirius called after them. His only response was a swift shutting of the door in his face. Chuckling to himself, Sirius looked down at Harry.

"Well, it's only you and me now." He said to the baby. Harry only smiled innocently up at him.

"This'll be easy." Sirius continued.