Okay, so I got a little carried away with the monologues. Just one more chapter of them after this, and then I promise we're moving on to bigger and better things. Enjoy!
Lesley Webber fingered the fringe on her brightly colored scarf as she stood outside of her grandson's room. Since she had lost her daughter to a mental breakdown, she had often wished that she were back in Port Charles, safe in body and sound in mind. But never had that need been as strong as it was today.
Turning to Luke, Lesley watched him as he stood uncomfortably in front of his son's room. He had never been very good in crisis situations. That was where Laura came in.
In many ways, Laura had held the family together. Lesley had never figured out just how she did it, but she was always able to get through to Luke when nobody else could. When he was in a place filled with darkness, Laura would be a glimmering light that would cut through. She had this amazing ability to snap him out of the foul mood or dark place he had inhabited and force him to deal with the present situation in the best way he knew how. Now that she was gone, Lesley wondered how he would cope with his grief if Lucky didn't pull through this.
Her train of thought was interrupted when Bobbie opened the door to Lucky's room, leading LuLu outside. Looking at Luke, she was surprised to find him looking back at her. Nodding towards the door, he informed her of his intent. Lesley nodded back at him before entering her grandson's room.
For LuLu's sake, she had tried to stay away. She had been so busy trying to answer the questions that she had and ease her continuous fear that she hadn't been able to come to the hospital and see Lucky for herself. Now, as she looked around at all of the machines that sustained her grandson, she realized how dire the situation really was.
Arranging herself on the stool, Lesley carefully examined the face of the man lying before her. Somewhere along the line, her grandson had grown up. And the face that she was looking into was that of a relative stranger.
Lesley regretted some decisions that she had made. She was so lucky. Her grandchildren were so close to her, residing in the same town. But as much as she loved them, she hadn't been nearly as involved in their lives as she could have been. At some point she had become one of those grandmothers who saw her grandchildren on holidays and birthdays – one of those grandparents she had never wanted to be.
Now, as she looked into the face of her unconscious grandson, she felt tears start to slide down her cheeks. If only she could turn back time, do things over again. She would have done so many things differently.
"Oh Lucky." Lesley whispered, beginning to voice her feelings aloud. "I wish that I had been there for you the way you needed me to be. You know, as much as I love you, I don't even know you. I know the child that you once were, but what kind of man have you become? When your father asked me to take care of LuLu, I was surprised, to say the least. And I love that little girl so much, Lucky. I just wish that I had taken that opportunity to give you a more permanent place in my life. But I can't look back with regrets. The only hope that I have left is in the future. And what I see in my future is you. I want to be part of your life, Lucky. I want to know what you love and what you hate, what you want for your life and what you hope to never become. You have so much to look forward to, and I just want to be a part of it."
Lesley sighed as she rose up from her chair. There were some people who always knew the perfect things to say in a crisis situation, but she wasn't one of those people. She had always shown a strong front on the outside while she was crumbling inside. She didn't have the perfect words to say to Lucky, or the actions that Luke needed to be comforted. Speaking to Lucky, her words had come out in a jumbled mess that sounded incredibly self-centered. She just hoped that through it all, Lucky could hear her, and understand what she really meant, what lay deep in her heart. When he was younger he was always able to do that, able to sense what she was feeling without having to explicitly voice it. As little as she knew about her grandchild now, she hoped that was one thing that hadn't changed.
Looking back to the pale form that lay motionless on the bed, Lesley opened her mouth, hoping the right words would start to flow. "I love you Lucky." She mouthed over in his direction before silently exiting the room, closing the door behind her.
Elizabeth paced nervously down the hospital corridor, throwing nervous glances in the direction of Lucky's room every few minutes. Changing direction to cover her path once more, Elizabeth was surprised to see Luke standing in front of her.
"Elizabeth, you need a break. Go have a seat in the waiting room."
Elizabeth shook her head vigorously. "I can't leave him Luke. I won't."
"You've been here all night. I promise you that we'll come to get you when we're ready. Just sit down, try to relax for a few minutes."
Elizabeth hesitated. Maybe Luke was right. While his family was saying good-bye to him, there was nothing that she could do. Besides, her pacing was probably making everybody around her even more nervous. "Well…you'll come get me if there are any changes?"
"Elizabeth, I guarantee that you will be the first to know."
She nodded her head in agreement. "Thanks for everything Luke. You know, for letting me be here with him." Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him, surprising them both. "I think he's going to pull through. He's strong, and if anybody can remind him of that, it's you."
Elizabeth pulled away abruptly, turning to make her way down the hallway. Luke stared after her in surprise. Elizabeth Webber was just full of surprises.
"Luke! Luke!" Luke spun around after hearing his name being called out from behind him.
"Amy. What…what are you doing here?" he asked confusedly as he took in her frazzled appearance.
"Well, I was off duty just catching up on some gossip, and I heard the news about Lucky. Is it true? Are you really discontinuing his life support?"
Luke looked at her incredulously. One thing Amy could be counted on was to hear the latest news, even before anyone could finish dispensing it.
"It's true. We tried to get in touch with you earlier, but your phone was busy for hours.."
"Yeah, I was catching up on some news. But Luke, do you really think this is the best idea?"
Luke led her away from the handful of people that still circulated outside of Lucky's room. "It looks like your sources are correct on this one, Amy. I've decided to take Lucky off of the machines."
Amy's face distorted into a distressed look. "Oh Luke, I thought it wasn't true! Why are you doing this?"
Luke rubbed his face in his hands, not looking forward to defending his actions to somebody else. "Amy, I think this may be the only way of getting Lucky to wake up. Please just don't fight me on this. I'm hoping that this will save my son's life." With those few words spoken, Luke turned and made his way into his son's room, leaving a shocked Amy in his wake.
Crashing into the sofa, Elizabeth took a few deep breaths, ready to embrace the silence that the waiting room would provide her with. Sinking in deeper to the couch, she closed her eyes, hoping that would calm her nerves.
Springing back to her feet, Elizabeth resumed her former nervous habit in this new environment. Hearing somebody enter the room behind her, she turned to see Emily standing in the doorway.
"Em!" she ran over to her friend, giving her a quick hug. "I'm really glad you're here."
"Yeah, I just got the message that Luke left for me. I can't believe this is happening Elizabeth. I mean, that should be me lying in there."
"You can't blame yourself. Nobody makes Lucky do anything, and he would do anything for you. You know that. There was nothing anybody could have done to change his mind."
"Still, I wish things could have gone differently." Emily pondered with a wistful expression on her face. Looking back into her friend's face with concern, she phrased a new question. "How are you doing?"
Elizabeth smiled lightly at her friend's concern, hoping to hide her own fears and doubts. "I'm holding up okay."
Emily eyed her suspiciously. "You're lying."
"Well, yeah. But I thought you had enough to deal with."
"Elizabeth, talk to me. You've done so much for me, and the least I can do is be here to listen."
Elizabeth smiled as she took a seat on one of the chairs situated in the far corner of the room. "I don't know Em. Luke is convinced that this is the right thing, but I'm not so sure. What if this ends up killing him? What if we lose him all over again because of a stupid decision that could have been avoided?"
"I'm worried about him too. But Elizabeth, we have to trust Luke. We really have no choice. He's Lucky's father, and I think that he's trying to do what's best for him. We just have to keep hoping and praying that this will work out for the best." Eyeing her friend, Emily realized that there was something deeper going on than Elizabeth was willing to admit. "You're still in love with him, aren't you?"
Elizabeth was taken back by the question. "I…well I…I care about him, Emily."
Emily watched the emotions play across her friend's face and realized that now wasn't the time to get into something like this. There was a time to push, but given the circumstances, this definitely wasn't it.
Leaning in to comfort her friend, Emily pulled Elizabeth into a soothing embrace. "He'll get through this Liz. He has to." Tears streamed down both of their faces, mingling with each other. In the quiet of the waiting room, two hearts broke as they waited for a resolution.