Peace of Mind
((Authors Note: The song I chose for this is called Peace of Mind, by the Rock Band Boston. It's my favourite song, ever written, of all time. It's very special to me, and I hope those of you who are reading this will give it a listen and appreciate that this song makes me comfortable, even when I have no company, at all.))
I almost feel sick after saying that. I died? If I put the pieces together, it makes sense. I was in a car accident. Something ploughed into my friend's car. Right into the driver's side. Right into him… "Monika. I think I lost someone close to me." I begin to, slowly, tell her what I remember. She looks more and more distraught with every word that leaves my mouth. Not that I can blame her. I've just told her I'm here because I don't have a body of my own, anymore.
"No, that can't be…" She says in a rather hushed disbelief. There's a quiet, awkward pause before Monika looks at me with a smile, like a lightbulb turns on over her head "Actually, now that I think about it, that would be impossible." She adds, flicking her wrist and pointing up with her right index finger, like I've seen her do so many times. She then sits beside me, taking one of my hands between both of hers and locking her fingers around it. "Think about it. If you had… died, there would be no memories. Or, no brain activity at all, actually." She informs me, with a slightly happy tone. "I guess that's still not very comforting. I'm sorry Leyon."
I slowly shake my head, looking at the space of ground between my feet. "Thank you." I say to her, softly. Monika looks at me, slightly baffled. "For trying, I mean. Thank you for trying." I say to her, half smiling. "It says a lot that you're trying to comfort me, when I need it the most."
Monika half giggles, covering her mouth. "Well, I am your club President, after all!" She says with an upbeat tone. "It's my responsibility to make sure all my members are feeling positive." I look over to Monika and see the biggest smile on her face. "And if that means helping you adjust to this world, then that's what I'll do."
"Yeah. Yeah, I would like that." I say to her as I get up onto my feet. "Talking of the club, we'd better make our way over to them- huh?" I feel a tugging on my arm and realise that Monika still has a hold of my hand. I smile at her warmly, then smirk and her with a Plan for mischief in mind. My smirk becomes a grin and then, very quickly, put my free hand around hers and pull her up to her feet. Unluckily, for Monika, she lost her balance and began to fall. Luckily, for Monika, she could only fall into me. I hold my arms open as she slips towards me, catching her.
Monika gasps as my arms wrap around her again. She laughs a little bit as her hands meet my shoulders. "You did that on purpose, you big jerk!" She says, slightly raising her voice. I can't deny I was feeling a little mischievous. But I was also trying to make both of us laugh. It's what we need.
"Is that a complaint, Ma'am?" I ask her, cheekily, putting on the most stereotypical English Gentlemen accent that I can. Which only makes Monika lose herself, laughing quite loudly, as I let her take the lead back to the clubroom, shaking her head as she walks past me. Following Monika like this feels natural. Occasionally She'll turn to look at me and smile. It's nice. Welcoming, even.
"Okay everyone!" Monika says as she opens the club room door and walks through, with me being two steps behind. "Sorry to keep you all waiting. Our new club member is here!" She adds, with a happy tone. I give a single wave, which is met with an enthusiastic one-person applause from Sayori, of course, while I walk to the desks that have been arranged to form a table. I take a seat next to Sayori, so now I'm sandwiched between her and Monika. If I was a puerile, immature person, I'd have a joke to make about this situation, but I'll refrain. For now.
"Welcome! It's a pleasure to meet you." The girl with the purple hair across the table says, pouring tea from a put into cups for everyone. "Sayori has told us so many things about you." She adds. I know who this is and decide to take the initiative.
"You must be Yuri, right?" She looks up from her teapot, a little shocked, and gives me a single, shy nod. "Monika gave me a brief rundown of who everyone is, while we were catching up on what we missed. We haven't really spoke in a while." I say, starting to go off on a tangent, then I catch myself and get back on topic. "Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you, Yuri. I'm Leyon!" I say enthusiastically, then turn to face the petite, pink haired girl next to her. "And that means you're Natsuki, correct? It's nice to meet you, too!"
The girl shuffles in her seat, uncomfortably. "What are you after?!" She retorts, defensively. Yeah, classic Natsuki. This is the exact Tsundere reaction that I expected from her. I had to stop myself from laughing. Partly because the only person who'd laugh with me would be Monika, and Natsuki would think the two of us are ganging up on her. But mostly because she'd, probably, find a very heavy book to wing at my face.
"Nothing, Natsuki. I'm just being polite, is all." I say to her. The look on her face tells me she isn't buying it. I must try and win her over, somehow. Then it hits me! "So, Monika tells me you keep a Manga collection in the clubroom, right? That's pretty cool!"
"You! Oh… You read Manga, too?" Yup. Got her. Now comes the hard part. I did read manga, though I must admit, it has been a while. Natsuki smiles, kind of, and takes a bit more of an interest in me. "What was the last series you read?" She asks me, trying to play to cool, only leaning in ever so slightly, thinking no one noticed. I decide to humour her and play along.
"Well, I was reading a Shonen Manga about teenagers playing a children's trading card game. Although, I did enjoy one called Fruits Basket. It's a silly slice of life series about a girl who moves in with a family of boys, who are cursed." Natsuki looks at me, quizzically, like she's never heard of it. I smile at her, but in my head, I'm proud I've managed to come up with a manga she hasn't heard of. "Tell you what, how about we go to a book store
sometime and I'll pick the first volume out for you?" I ask her. Natsuki looks like she wants to decline, but instead gives me a single nod.
As the conversation with everyone continues, discussing books and authors, leaning a little bit about each other, I can hear Sayori giggling a little bit from time to time, just to the left of me. Something tells me she's more than happy I'm getting on with everyone. Occasionally, I'll turn to Monika, sitting to my right, and she smiles every time we make eye contact. It's so infectious that I can't help but smile with her.
"So, Leyon! We've been thinking of activities we could do in this club." Sayori exclaims excitedly. I can only hope they already started writing poetry and dropped it, because my overall abilities to write poetry are less than stellar. Hell, even calling them 'mediocre' would be very generous. Still, all four girls look to me for an idea, and just as I try to skip over poetry, a lightbulb turns on over my head.
"Well… Personally, I think of song lyrics as literature. I don't how the four of you feel about that?" I look around the room. Yuri still looks curious, Natsuki folds her arms, Sayori nods her head and Monika smiles, half curiously. "Here's what I propose. Every Friday, we come into the club after analysing the lyrics of a song. We talk over the meaning behind the lyrics, the story or idea the words are portraying. How does that grab you?"
Monika, while smiling, still manages to look at me quizzically. I kind of want to call that a win, because I've never seen anyone pull that off before. Meanwhile, Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri look at me with varying smiles of approval, before Monika speaks up. "I like it, Leyon!" She says emphatically. Now all I have to hope for is that she doesn't ask me if I have a song in mind. As I look to Monika, I can see a mischievous, yet playful, look in her eye. Any other occasion, I might be tempted to make a lewd joke, but I think she's caught on that I have nothing in mind. "Does our newest member have anything in mind?" She asks me in a pseudo-coy manner.
Crap! Now I really need to think on my feet. Just anything will do, Leyon, say something! "Um, well, there is this song I grew up listening to called Peace of Mind. It's a Rock song by a band called Boston. I love the song because of the lyrics, so I would really like to hear what everyone else feels when they read them. Of course, this also means you'll have to listen to the song while you read them, so… Sorry, but it's 1970's music, for your ears." I ramble out, realising everything I said kind of made sense. Kind of being the key words.
And yet, as I glance around the room, the girls seem to approve of my idea a bit more! Maybe I pulled it off, after all? Monika nods at me, standing up, slowly. "Well, if we're all in agreement, we can get set to do this on Friday. Do we all agree?" Monika asks as I wait patiently for a response. Hold up! This isn't in the original game, either! What else has gone into this mod?! I would continue to dwell on this, but Monika has rested her left hand on my right shoulder. One by one, the girl's eyes light up as they all nod in agreement in their various ways. Once again Monika looks at me with a big, happy smile. "Okay, but that's on Friday, and today is Wednesday. So, tomorrow is Poetry writing day." She says, tipping her head to the left ever so slightly while closing her eyes.
She knew, didn't she? This is exactly why she's going out of her way to act cute. And it works. I can't even sigh, or even be disappointed on the inside. I just smile back at her. "Sure thing. I'll do my best to write something you can enjoy reading. Though I will admit it to you now, I'm not the best writer you'll come across."
Natsuki laughs, almost cruelly. I get the feeling she doesn't mean to sound as mean as she does, so I'll let it slide. "That's why you're here, isn't it?" She asks, still kind of laughing while she speaks. Maybe her laughter is a nervous reaction? I don't remember her acting like that in the main game, but I guess it is entirely possible. Afterall, the game messed with all the girls here. Maybe now, I'll be getting the true experience of what these girls are like? I guess time will tell. Wait a damn minute…
"What do you mean by that, Natsuki?" I ask, defensively. All the girls laugh at me, some louder than others. Even Yuri, the quietest and most reserved of the group, is having a little chuckle to herself. Just as I feel like Natsuki is about to give me an answer, Monika Stands up.
"Okay everyone! I think we can end this session on a good note." She says with an upbeat tone in her voice that I can't help but enjoy listening to. "Let's call it a day, then. I'll see you tomorrow!"
"Leyon! Ready to walk home?" Sayori asks me. That's right, Sayori and I used to walk home together… I got to stop putting myself in the place of MC, Sayori's childhood friend. I'm not that guy. I'm me. Still, I think my house is his, in game, so I should play along, a little bit.
"Sure thing, Sayori. See you tomorrow, Monika!" I say to the Club President, who smiles and winks at me as I walk out the door. I want to say that my mind is racing back and forth between all four of the girls, but the truth is my mind is already fixed on one: Monika. If this mod is anything like I think it is, I'm now trapped in a world with the on character I wanted to know more about when I was a player in the real world. This is my reali-
"Hey Leyon! What's on your mind?" Sayori asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't tell if this is something I'm going to have to put up with, yet, but Sayori's interruption has totally disrupted my train of thought. "Let me guess, Monika?" She says teasingly.
I could swat at her, but instead I just snicker to myself, looking down at the ground. "Oh, Sayori… I'd like to tell you, but I don't remember." I figured honesty would be the best policy with her, given her past life in this game. I look over at her after having my eyes on the ground for a few seconds, to see Sayori, for what feels like the hundredth time, though is more than likely either the fourth or fifth time.
"Leyon, you're so obvious…" Sayori says to me, in a sad tone of voice. "Even I can tell you're not the childhood friend that the game wrote for me…"