AN: This one is more intended as Crack instead of anything serious. I'll be writing a few more snippets in this verse though most of them will probably be smaller in general. Crack!Fic is best is small doses after all!

Premise: Taylor can create xenomorphs and they listen to her commands - mostly. No one else is happy about this situation. No one.

Amy: "Mom…why have we accepted the unstable monster spawner into New Wave?"
Carol: "I think your aunt is afraid of what she would do if we said no…"
Vicky: "I actually really like her; she's super nice!"

Emotional Support…Xenos?

Amy stared at the New Girl. The New Girl who was currently rubbing the side of her pet monster's head with one hand and the top of its elongated skull with her other; all while whispering to the nightmare thing in a near coo. This was horrible. This was beyond horrible. This was…It would be easier to deal with the Slaughterhouse Nine than this.

"Mom," Amy said, carefully keeping all emotion out of her voice as she sidled to Carol's side. "What the hell is MQ doing in our living room?"

"She doesn't like that name. She prefers Colony, Amy," Carol replied, her own eyes also locked on the tableau in front of them.

"What the hell is Colony doing in our living room?"

"She's officially a member of New Wave now. We're having a press conference in 10 minutes. That's why I called you back home."

Amy worked at making words for several seconds. All the words she reached for died before they could make it to her mouth. All the words. They died. Just like the Monster's victims would. Just like this city would. Everyone was going to die. And her family had welcomed the Monster Queen in with welcome arms.

Maybe it was time to get emancipated and move out…

"Why is the unstable monster spawner accepted into New Wave, Mom?" Was that her voice? How did it come out so calm?

Carol winced, her eyes never leaving Colony. "I'm fairly certain your aunt is 'concerned' about what would happen if we said no."

"Uh huh."

"You understand now, right?" Colony stated. She pulled back just enough to shake a finger in the Monster's face. It's massive head bobbed once and it dropped down on its doubled-hinged legs enough that it could bump its head against Colony's outstretched hand.

"Aww, that's a good boy! We're going to do so much better this time!"

Just then the door to Vicky's room rocked open and her sister charged into the upstairs hall, full costume already on. Glancing over the railing, her hand flew to her mouth and she nearly squealed. "Oh my god, is that Zeno?! And it's hugging you! That's adorable!"

Vicky flew over the staircase dropping to hover right next to Colony and the Monster. The Monster took offense to that apparently as it immediately turned its head towards her, the second jaws snapping out, just shy of Vicky's nose. Vicky barely even reacted, just grinning wider and reaching out to run a hand down the smooth scaled body of the thing.

Before it could try snapping again, Colony rapped a fist on the Monster's skull. "No! Zeno, what did we just talk about? No. Biting!"

The Monster shuffled its weight from one leg to another and its tail whipped around in a complicated pattern. Vicky just kept petting the abomination and Colony just shook her finger in its face. "No. Victoria is a friend. No biting friends!"

Its tail drooped, slithering between its legs. What was that noise? That high pitched whimpering sound?

Oh that was her. Oh fantastic. Now the Monster was going to know that she was weak and easy prey. This was just getting better and better.

"Hey, Taylor, didn't you say there was a second one? One that was a quadruped?"

"Oh, yeah. Ah, damn, where did Spike go? Zeno, do you know where Spike went?"

"Oh god," Amy gasped. Carol nodded enthusiastically, already reaching for her cellphone.

"Nazis? Why would Spike go after the E88?"

The Monster lifted its head and centered its gaze on Amy and Carol, its lips rising in a silent snarl and drool spilling out onto the carpet even as the second mouth snapped the air. Amy flinched.

"Oh you guys wanted to do something nice for our new team?"

Vicky nodded. "That's really sweet. Is it going to try and capture one of the Empire guys?"

Colony winced. "Umm…hooopefully…? Zeno's pretty smart, but Spike takes a bit longer to understand complicated things."

Carol cleared her throat. "Taylor, does 'complicated' include not killing gang members?"

Colony hurriedly shook her head. "Oh Spike won't kill anyone! Not unless they shoot at him first. I mean, he might try to abduct someone and bring them back to the hive, then cocoon them for the Huggers…I should probably check the hive to make sure that the Huggers are all in suspended animation. And that no one is cocooned."

"Yes. Yes, please do that. Immediately. We'll…reacquire Spike."

Definitely time for emancipation.