Solitary Shell
(We carry on, after a bit of a Hiatus, while I try to refocus my direction with this story. I have to be honest, I read the last chapter back, to get myself back into the flow of the story and remind myself wat direction I wanted to take with it. I've picked a song by Dream Theater for this one. It's a song that, like many songs on here, that is important to me. It's one of, like, seven or eight that reminds me of going to the woods outside my old town, back in 2010, getting stupid on various forms of energy drink, my drink of choice was Monster Ripper, while one of my friends recorded it all. That whole ordeal is on Vimeo, so if you're interested, I can provide a link to the video if you shoot me a private message.)
Along with Monika, I started helping clear up a little bit, while the rest of the room talk about how to fit everyone in the same house. Which, believe it or not, is a more difficult decision than one might believe. Natsuki won't budge, claiming she needs the space, despite having the biggest bedroom in the house. Yuri is a little apprehensive about the idea of sharing with anyone. Her shyness is kicking back in to high gear which, I must be honest, took longer than I thought it would. Sayori is being very diplomatic, and is saying she'll share with anyone, even with Mickey, Kain or Alisteir. Which is a nice gesture, but Natsuki keeps telling her that's not happening.
It's becoming clear that Natsuki's the real issue, here. She won't give up her room, but she won't let the guys, my friends, share with anyone else. It's that natural mistrust of any new people, that she has, telling her to do so. I'm getting ready to play the hard kind of diplomat when Monika steps forward, in her traditional pose of one hand on her hip, the other pointing upward.
"Okay, everyone!" She calls out, just loud enough for everyone to hear her. They all turn to look at her, as do I. "I'll give up my room and share with Sayori." She says with a tone that's both firm and fair. I can't help but smile. She's handling this a lot better than I would have done.
"This isn't the clubroom, Monika, you aren't in charge here!" Natsuki blurts out and then, immediately, covers her mouth. I don't think she meant that to be as loud or as rude, as it came across, to be honest. That said, I can't help but notice the glance coming from Sayori. Yuri, meanwhile, is outright glaring a hole through her. Looks like it's my time to step in.
"Natsuki, if you explained what exactly is bothering you, maybe we could reach a middle ground that would keep everyone happy." I could have just told her that this isn't her house, and she isn't in charge, either. I could have, but that would only make the situation worse. To my surprise, Natsuki starts to cry.
"Sorry. I… I just." She says, between sobs. Sayori starts to feel bad and sits next to her, placing an arm over her shoulders. Even Yuri looks like she's sympathizing a little bit. "It's just so hard to trust anyone, with the bullying at school and Dad being…"
"Say no more, Natsuki." Kain responds, standing up and walking over to the door, grabbing a coat and heading to the back door. "How about you take the time to get to know me and Alisteir? Sayori can come and join us, too, if you'd both like?"
Natsuki nods once and stands up, along with Alisteir. But as Sayori gets ready to join them, Yuri stands up and walks over to Natsuki and the boys. "I-is it okay, for me to come with you?" She shyly asks, looking away and playing with her hair.
Sayori pats her back. "You should go, Yuri! I can talk with my Neighbour, the President and Mickey for a little while." I love how enthusiastic Sayori is, about everything now. It's infectious in a way. Even Natsuki cracks a little smile, herself. This is followed by a nod and the four make an exit into a garden illuminated by the stars and a little bit of light from the living room.
"Think they can handle those two?" Mickey asks us. We all nod, almost in unison, and have a little chuckle. This doesn't last, however, as a single tear forms in my eye. Monika puts an arm around me and scoot over a little closer. Honestly, I can't tell if I'm happy to see my friends, or sad knowing they're trapped in here, as well. Especially Mickey, who have never seen the game, before. He heard about it, from myself, Alisteir and Kain.
"Sorry for bringing this up, but…" Sayori starts, her once smiling face has changed to a much more serious, and even sad, expression. "Were the three of you in the car with Leyon?" Her sombre question really brought the mood down. But she had to ask it. It would either be her, or Monika. And I think Monika is a little relieved it wasn't her. I would be too if I were in her place.
"Yeah." Mickey responds. "I was behind Kain, who was driving. Leyon took the worst of the impact." He informs us. His memory is less clouded than mine. "Honestly, from what the doctor told me and Kain, you were lucky to escape with a coma. We're all glad you did, though."
I smile a little bit, after hearing that. I can't force myself to feel too happy, on the account that my body in the real world is a vegetable, essentially. Mickey seems okay, though, which is a bonus. "What about Kain and Alisteir? How are they?" I ask, mainly for my own closure. I can pretend I don't care about what happens to me, all I want. That said, if those two are in a similar, or worse state, I don't know what I'll do with myself.
"Leyon, ya' dafty…" Mickey responds with a smile, rising to his feet. "We're all fine. We volunteered to come in here to see you. And we're not leaving, either." He walks over to me, placing a hand on my right shoulder. "If you never wake up in reality, ever again, we'll still be here. We're your family, remember?"
I stand up, quickly, and wrap my arms around Mickey. "Thank you, Brother." I say to him, tears streaming down my face. I feel him hugging back, after a second or two. It was great to hear that they'll all be here, but it's even better to know that none of them are in the same state I'm in.
"Anytime, Brother." Mickey responds, before we both release the hug. I look to Monika and Sayori and they're both smiling up at us. It must be heart-warming for them to hear that I'm not alone with my own pain, anymore. My friends… No. My Brothers are okay. Mickey sits down again, looking at the girls. "You are… Monika and Sayori, right? My apologies, I've never actually played this game."
Monika and Sayori nod to Mickey and inform him of what happened before I got here. To my surprise, they didn't leave out the part where Monika drove the other girls to suicide, before deleting the files. Monika looks down in shame, but before she can say anything more, Sayori hugs the club's President and gives her a reassuring smile. It's obvious Monika doesn't really know how to react to that, but at least she smiles back at Sayori and returns the hug.
I take my seat next to Monika and wrap an arm around her and she rests her head on my shoulder, smiling peacefully. Maybe our little joke-flirting meant a little more to the both of us, after all. "You two actually make a cute couple." Is all I hear form the other side of the room, as Alisteir comes back inside, with Yuri. Monika blushes a little bit, but barely reacts, overall. I can't say I'm too surprised, honestly. Sayori, who's now sitting next to Mickey, let's out a little giggle which, for her, sounded a little more mischievous than what you'd expect, from her.
"So do you two!" Sayori responds, looking right at Alisteir and Yuri. Does Sayori actually think that? Maybe. I get the feeling, however, that she was doing it, mostly, to get back at Alisteir on my behalf. Yuri does not look impressed.
"Sayori… Natsuki and I, along with Alisteir and Kain, just had a soul bearing moment, under the stars. Could you, please, not make jokes, right now?" Yuri's response was put in a soft, but tired tone. It's pretty clear that Yuri's not angry, by any means, just mentally exhausted. Sayori looks really upset, now, however. "I'm s-sorry, Sayori, I should have chosen my words a little more carefully. I think I'll go to bed."
As I watch Yuri start to head upstairs, she suddenly stops and turns around. "Actually Sayori, could you come and help me move Natsuki's stuff, please? She's agreed to move in to your room." She asks in a tone that's more of an attempt at being sincere. Sayori nods and walk over to Yuri, giving her a quick hug as they head upstairs, quickly whispering apologies to each other as they do so.
"Yeah…" Alisteir starts, taking a seat next to Mickey. "Natsuki kind of bared everything she had bottled up, to us. About her dad, and the snide comments made about her, at school… Poor Yuri looked like she could have cried. And probably would have done, had Natsuki not started bawling her eyes out, immediately after we finished telling her our story."
"That's a good point. What did you tell them?" Monika asks, looking up from the comfort of my shoulder-pillow. I must admit, I'm curious about that, myself. Knowing the boys, like I do, they'll have stretched the truth, rather than outright told a lie.
"Well, we told them we were in a car crash abroad. And that you couldn't be there, due to a lack of money." Kain, informs us as he comes back in carrying a sleeping Natsuki. "By the way, point me in the direction of this girl's room, would you? She needs her rest." He adds, as he starts walking upstairs.
"To the right, Kain, then go straight ahead. Sayori and Yuri should still be moving her stuff through to Sayori's room." Monika Informs him, standing up. And starting to head upstairs. "I'm going to help, too, Maybe I'll move my stuff and go share with Yuri?" She ponders. As she's doing so, Kain gives her a passing comment that I really should have seen coming.
"Just go share a room with Leyon. You both could do with a cuddle, so, you may as well cuddle each other." He responds, with a much more genuine smile and tone of voice than anyone would expect. Of course, that's what sells the joke to perfection. Even Yuri, of all people, had a little giggle in the passing. At this point, I might as well just say yes to it, to gauge a reaction. The only reason I don't is because I'm still worried about how Monika might react-.
"You know what, Kain? You make a fair point." Monika responds, looking at my friend with a devilish smile on her face. "After all, should anything happen during the night, it'll be more than anything you're getting." She added in a subtly teasing kind of tone.
Well, that was a surprise. The amount of laughter coming from me, is one thing. Even Sayori, who is normally a little embarrassed by jokes like that, must cover her mouth to not wake Natsuki up. A joke like that, from any of the other girls of the club, would be enough cause for a standing ovation. The fact that it came from Monika, who I know had burned Natsuki for keeping her manga collection in the clubroom in the original game, just made it even sweeter. To give Kain a bit of credit, he laughed as well. Took it like a champ, you could say.
An hour or two passes, and it's late. I should be trying to sleep, but I'm having a hard time of it. Should I send Monika a jokey/flirty text? Probably not, as she might be trying to sleep. Ah what the hell, why not? Even if she is in the land of dreams, by now, she'll read it in the morning. I've got nothing to lose by doing so. I type out a quick message that simply says, 'My shoulder's a little cold, without you resting on it ;-) XD' And send. Hopefully, that gives her at least a little chuckle. I'm about to turnover and rest, when my phone lights up and tells me that I have a message from Monika. Wow, that was fast!
'Yeah… sorry about that. I'm tired and you're comfortable to rest on. :-p' Is what I'm looking at. I have a little chuckle and send her another response. I'm thinking of sending her another little jokey one, but maybe not. Something tells me I should just come out and tell her how I feel. Or maybe both? Yeah, both. Both is good.
'Oh, I wasn't complaining. :-) I kind of miss it, honestly.' Yeah, I can't do it. Part of me really wants to be close to Monika. She's funny, beautiful, smart… I'm pretty sure I could use every possible positive word to describe and still feel like I'm not doing her justice. In short, If I had a choice, I would want to stay here. With her. And the other girls, obviously, but Monika means a lot of me. But something tells me I'm going to wake up in the real world, one day. It just occurred to me, as I sent that last message, that my time in this game- no, this world- is limited. It could be days, months, or years, but I'll wake up some time, and that… that cuts me up. It makes me wonder if getting to know the girls is even worth it. Even if I end up happy here, that happiness is on a timer.
On the other hand, if I woke up tomorrow, without telling Monika I care, that would be even worse. I can lay here, in bed, with my dumb hands behind my even dumber head and worry about getting close to the girls, and how that'll hurt me. And then go on to the complete opposite end, where not telling Monika how I feel what's going on in my head, before I go back to reality, and how much that would hurt- huh? Was that a knock on my bedroom door? I sit in silence, not even thinking. Sure enough, there's a second, gentle, knock on the door.
"Hello?" I call out, not too loudly. I don't know who else is asleep, yet. My door gently opens, as if whoever were knocking was waiting for a response. I look up, shocked, as all I see is a single, emerald, green eye peeking through. I can't believe it. "Monika?!"
She puts a finger to her lips, let me know to keep quiet for a moment, then, with a wink and a smile. "Oh, good, you're still awake, Leyon." Monika whispers to me, as she quietly closes the door behind her. I keep asking myself what she's doing here, even as she walks towards me bed and climbs under the cover. Is this dream? A dream within a dream? Because technically, I'm in a dream world, that's a video game, so… Probably is just a dream within a video game. But is it a dream? It's only just now that I can see her pyjamas, which is just a loose white vest top, and a pair of pink shorts.
"Monika, what are you-!" I try to ask her, but Monika puts her index finger on my lips, now, smiling sweetly at me, in that way she's done, since we first talked in that school hallway. I get it, she has something to say. I'm not going to pretend I'm not happy to see her, because that would be a lie. Still, though… I can't imagine Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri would approve. Especially Natsuki. Not that ever needed their approval to be happy, mind you.
"Just enjoy this, Leyon. And remember to thank Yuri, in the morning." Monika informs me, as she cuddles into me, kissing my cheek before she rests her head on the pillow and closes her eyes. She has a point, though. In more ways than one, actually. So, what, if my time here is counting down? I have everything, everyone, that's important in my life, right here in this game. Of course, I feel like a bit of an idiot, for not realising that sooner, but that soon passes.
"Okay. Goodnight Monika." I whisper with a smile on my face, kissing her forehead and then pulling her close to me. The other thing to be happy about is this moment. As I close my eyes and slowly drift off to sleep, I know I don't need to dream tonight. I have everything I wanted, right here. It's just the two of us here.
Just Monika. And me.