All rights to Fifty Shades of Grey belong to E.L. James.

The sex in this chapter may be too extreme to some, but is a changing that had to occur.

A Study of Profound Change

Ana realizes Christian is enraged with her, feeling as if she has disrespected him. Even Christian's posture has changed, Ana can recognize it is meant to intimidate her, and it does.

Got to love the judgment I made this man.

Having no further desire to engaging in his staring contest, Ana looks around his office, taking note its void of anything personal, including any family photographs. Odd.

"Why don't you have any family photos in your house?" Ana asks him.

Ana sees Christian is completely perplexed at her question, one coming from left field, and one that is not remotely close to what they have been discussing.

"Is that really any of your business, Miss Steele?" He asks through gritted teeth.

"I suppose it isn't," Ana draws her legs up to the chair and wraps her arms around them. She has suddenly very wary of this man.

"You'd suppose correct, Miss Steele."

There is no way to miss the way Christian strangled out those words. Looking back at him, Ana notes a strange combination in his eyes, sadness mixed with anger. The former concern she had had for herself gives way to what, curiosity, sympathy…all for this man.

"Christian…?" Ana asks as she watches Christian Grey closing his eyes and clenching his jaws together.

I think I am meeting his tenth personality.

"I don't know. I am not what you would describe as being close to my family. Maybe that is why I will not allow family pictures in this place. There's no place for my family here," His answer is but a whisper.

"Allow in this place? Your home…I…"

"I am not close to my family so they don't have to be close to me. To this."

Christian is staring at the study door and when he said, "to this" he gestured around himself.

Trying to choose her words wisely, Ana thinks she has gotten to the gist of what he is referring to.

Here goes nothing.

"Christian…do you...do you mean because of what you do? The BDSM? That room…."

Ana nearly jumps out of the chair when Christian stands up, slamming both fists on his desk, only to knock everything on his desktop crashing across the room.

Christian begins hurling every close object at any given wall, and Ana can only get behind the large chair to hide, her arms wrapped protectively around herself as she starts to quietly sob in fear. For minutes that feel like hours, Ana listens as Christian Grey seemingly loses his mind. Screaming and cursing as he breaks everything in his study that is not nailed to the floor.

The study door suddenly swings open-It's Taylor. At first, his eyes are only on his employer, but then he sees Ana crouching behind the chair, now openly weeping.

"I don't know what I said that made him…."

"I know, ma'am. Calm down, I'll see to him."

Taylor begins leading Ana from the study when they are both stopped by Christian.

"Please, Ana. I'm so sorry."

He sounds like a broken toy, and Ana cannot stop herself from slowly turning her tear soaked face to look at Christian. He looks defeated, like a dog that has been kicked. The very sight of him causes Ana's heart to clench. During the course of a single evening, Ana has seen several different versions of Christian Grey. She does not know why or where to begin to understand, but her instinct is that they are all really one man, just a man that has been damaged.

God, I hope this is not a bad idea.

"Taylor, I'll be okay with him. You can go."

Ana is quietly trying to speak while hiccupping through her drying tears. Nodding at her, Taylor leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Ana and Christian stand in place and for a few long moments stare at one another. But it is Ana that makes the first tentative step toward Christian, watching him closely until she is standing in front of him. Christian is staring at Ana in bewilderment, as if she is a mythical creature he has heard about, but never really believed existed.

"I'm sorry," Ana whispers so softly she is not sure Christian even heard her. He is looking down into her face, an unfathomable look in his eyes while saying nothing.

If Ana thought about it, Christian could have been hanging his head in shame. Barely shaking his head at her, he softly places an index finger on her lips that are still wet from tears. Ana looks into a pair of gray eyes that are telling her a story, although she cannot figure out the plot. Christian's eyes are remorseful as he gazes down on Ana, conveying some message-gray to blue.

Christian uses his other hand to wipe away a tear lingering on Ana's cheek, how he saw it is a mystery because their eyes have not parted. Absolutely unsure of what has happened to her, or what alternate universe she has possibly entered, Ana slowly and cautiously raises a quaking hand to Christian's face and touches him ever so softly. With their eyes never breaking free from one another, Ana feels Christian faintly allow his head to lean into her hand, and as he does, Ana starts to gently and ever so slowly, bring his head down to her own.

This feels right.

Studying his eyes intently, Ana tilts her head but infinitesimally, asking for his assent with her eyes. Christian blinks as Ana continues to barely pull his face down to hers, standing on her tiptoes in order to make contact with him, in order for their lips to meet. Ana hears Christian's breathing begin to alter.

Ana's eyes only close once her delicate mouth breathes across his mouth. Hearing a soft, guttural moan escape from Christian's throat, Ana subtly licks his bottom lip to allow her tongue entry into his mouth. Barely meeting, their tongues tenderly and tentatively begin to dance with one another. It is a slow and ephemeral dance. Ana breathes in, Christian breathes out. Christian, tasting Ana, softly groans and Ana feels his hand gently touching the small of her back.

Just with this one gentle touch, the compassion that had led Ana to this point, slowly unfurls into that desire she has carried for Christian all these months. That same desire drives her tongue to move with more force, to kiss him deeper. Ana clasps her hands on either side of Christian's face and then moves one in his hair, tugging on it. The second she begins to pull on his hair, it is as if Christian suddenly wakes up from a deep sleep.

Growling, but never breaking their kiss, he pushes Ana against the nearest wall and grabs both of her wrists with one of his hands, raising her arms over her head. His free hand has pulled her dress up to her waist, and he has worked a finger inside Ana's lace panties where he presses down on her clit.

Oh, God help me.

Ana is panting, squirming to free her hands, and once she feels the warmth and pressure from Christian's finger, she nearly convulses. "Oh, please…Christian, Christian." Ana is begging him and throws back her head to give him easier access as his mouth moves along her jaw, his tongue making its way down her throat, murmuring words that Ana cannot comprehend. Her sense of hearing left long ago, she is nothing but sensation, drenched and ablaze, and all she can do is plead with this man she has craved for much too long. She revels in the fact that her body is at his mercy. Christian rips off the delicate lace which was her panties; they were in the way of what he craves.

"Fuck, Ana," Christian whispers as he returns to her mouth, grinding his erection into her stomach, while he roughly thrusts a finger inside her, over and over, causing Ana to scream and her legs go weak. "So fucking wet." He murmurs into her mouth as he is holding her up. Christian's breathing has quickened as he continues to fuck her with one of his fingers, then two. Ana cries out, "Oh, fuck…please"

Without letting go of her wrists, Christian swiftly turns Ana so that her back is to him. "This. Dress. Has. To. Go. He breathes on the back of her neck. Ana is digging her ass into his erection, searching for some sort of friction, groaning loudly. Christian all but tears the zipper from her dress and it falls around Ana's feet, leaving her only in her bra and wearing her stiletto heeled black boots. He stops touching her as he runs his eyes up and down her flawless skin, watching her squirm with need. "You look so fucking sexy," He murmurs in her ear. "Please…" Ana moans when he slowly licks her upper back, shoulder to shoulder.

Finally.

Christian turns Ana back to face him, lowering her arms, but never releasing her wrists and slowly walks her to the large sofa in his study. Lowering Ana onto the sofa, Christian kneels in the floor and starts to slowly lick, kiss, and bite his way up one of her thighs, holding his free hand on Ana's lower abdomen in an attempt to still her. Ana, knowing what is about to happen, begins to buck her hips into his face and struggles in vain to free her wrists. Christian buries his face into her hairless pussy, slowly thrusting his tongue inside her. "Oh, baby. I'm going to fuck you with my tongue now." He whispers into her very core. Ana is groaning and panting as she is calling out his name. "Oh, fuck..., please."

Christian pulls his relentless tongue from Ana's pussy and moves it to her clitoris, licking it slowly, swirling it around and around, and sucking it. Ana is pushing her pussy into his face, pleading for him not to stop, her mind lost in a frenzy of incoherent thoughts. Christian can feel as Ana's body begins to tense from her rapidly approaching orgasm. He groans onto her clit and harshly inserts two fingers inside of her, sucking her swollen and rock hard clit while he is ferociously finger fucking her. Ana feels herself tighten around Christian's fingers, she knows what is coming and is begging for a release when her body is overtaken by the strongest orgasm of her life, shaking and continuing to grind her drenched pussy into Christian's face, screaming out his name.

Christian never stops his onslaught of sucking her clit or slamming his fingers inside Ana as she rides out her orgasm. He moves his mouth away for a moment but continues with his two fingers. "You're going to come into my mouth again, Ana." Once again swirling and licking her clit, causing Ana to practically thrash around on the sofa. Christian removes one of his fingers from Ana's pussy and easily slides it into her ass, causing Ana to moan in pleasure, as she meets his fingers thrust to thrust. Her body is singing from sensory overload. Abruptly, Christian slows the force of his fingers that he was using while fucking her ass and pussy simultaneously, his tongue slowing to a languid pace. Within mere minutes, Ana's body combusts once again into an orgasm that only allows her to barely mumble Christian's name.

Still floating down from her orgasm and with her eyes still closed, Ana suddenly feels Christian's warm and ragged breath on her ear. "Baby, are you on birth control?" His voice is hoarse and urgent. When Ana does not respond, Christian bites down on her earlobe and Ana meekly nods, "Yes…the, the shot." Ana is still panting, her breath coming out in quick short spurts, her eyes still closed.

It is only when she feels her thighs being spread open wide that Ana opens her eyes. Looming above her is Christian, who at some point removed his pants and boxers and is looking down at her with eyes full of lust. He is between her legs and she can feel the head of his cock at the edge of her soaked pussy. Christian's chest is heaving and Ana looks down between her legs to gaze at his impressive cock, biting her bottom lip, she gazes back in Christians burning gray eyes.

"Fuck me, Christian…please…now," Ana barely gasps out, throwing her head back, squirming with the need for him to fill her.

I need him inside me.

When Christian remains still between her legs and does not respond, Ana's eyes fly open and she looks up at him. This is when Ana vaguely realizes her hands are resting on each side of her head now, but Christian is still holding them down by her wrists, using both his hands.

"What's wrong? Christian? What is it?" Ana is confused with his behavior and somewhat irritated from wanting him to fuck her.

For some reason, Christian is shaking his head and his face looks as if he is pained.

Ana has to struggle as she tries to raise herself up due to Christians grip on both of her wrists.

Why won't he let go of my god damned wrists?

"Christian? Did I do something? Please, look at me,"

Despite whatever is the matter with Christian and is causing his bizarre behavior, Ana begins to press on the tip of his cock, hoping to slide herself onto him. But Christian pulls away from her.

"What is the matter, Christian?" All thoughts of fucking have left Ana's mind, all she wants now is answers from the man between her legs who is shaking his head while his eyes are closed.

Ana says nothing else and lays her head back down, her blue eyes still looking at Christian in hopes that he eventually ends this odd behavior.

Why didn't he take off his shirt?

Just as Ana is about to tell Christian to let go of her so she can get up, he finally starts talking but is looking straight ahead.

"Ana…I…Ana, I don't do this," His words rush out like a breath of air.

Now, Ana is completely perplexed.

"You don't do what, Christian? What does 'this' refer to? Not using a condom? I don't understand and why haven't you let go of my arms?" She asks in a soft voice.

"I don't do it this way. This is not me or the way I have sex. I've never fucked a woman this way," He sounds as if he is humiliated by his own truth.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh,"

"But you just…"

"I don't know why I allowed that to happen. You suddenly stripped my self-control away,"

Is he angry?

Christian continues to stare off into a faraway place, appearing to be stuck there, appearing lost.

More time passes and neither one has dared to speak, each for their own reasons. Those reasons they both do not understand.

Once more, Ana takes the first tentative step.

"Christian, can I get up? Can you let go of me now? My wrists hurt. It may be best if I just go home,"

She is speaking to him in a soft, soothing voice meant for a child.

Christian swallows hard and finally looks down at Ana with shame emitting from his beautiful gray eyes.

"I know your wrists hurt. I've left marks on them."

He says this in a plain matter of fact tone. A tone that is perfectly modulated precisely inflected, with no discernible emotion.

Ana does not ignore the nagging sense of panic caused by Christian's words, spoken in a flat tone, but without malice. Realizing this precarious situation could easily erupt into chaos; she simply concentrates on her breathing and tears her eyes away to shield herself from Christian's torn expression that is still on her, burning through her, while he is still gripping her wrists.

Shit.

"What do you expect from me?"

Christian's voice startles Ana, but she still avoids looking at him.

"I don't expect anything from you,"

"Ana, I'm not normal. I'm this way because I need to be," Christian's words are a long broken groan.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but you shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't what?"

"Be so hard on yourself,"

Ana is whispering because she does not know what she's dealing with. She has watched him go from one extreme to the next and is so confused right now that she could cry. Christian is silent for a moment before he replies.

"I'm fucked up, but I know that I am. I know I disappointed you tonight, and now I am afraid you are scared of me. You can't even look at me,"

The blatant and poignant sadness that just fell from the lips of Christian Grey break Ana's heart. Her crystal blue eyes fill with tears that slide down her cheeks, as she looks straight into those beautiful gray eyes.

"Christian, I'm not afraid of you,"

"How can you not be? You saw me earlier; that is the real Christian Grey. Ana, I lured you here, after weeks of seducing you so you would want me, so you would submit to me. I have come to see you as a person, not an object. I took advantage of your simple goodness. Only a monster would do that." Disgust, shame, and self-loathing coat Christian's words.

Hearing Christian's admission, his confession, Ana cannot help from feeling like a fool, but just by looking at Christian Grey, she is acutely aware that he is mangled, twisted soul that is grasping onto hope.

I can soothe his torture.

"Christian, please come down to me. I need for you, too. I want you, too."

This may be wrong or a profound mistake. It may be a life-changing, horrible mistake, but I have to try.

Christian's eyes stare down at her wide and puzzled, yet he does not move while shutting his eyes once more, and shaking his head.

"Ana, I can't. Bringing you here, showing you that room…my depravity has tainted you, and you will never understand my regret for doing that to you,"

He has loosed his grip on my wrists.

Ana shakes her head vigorously, her brunette hair fanned out around her, a tangled mess.

His mind may be filled with regret, but his body is not; he has never lost his erection.

"Christian, stop this. You have not tainted me, hush with these words…please…come to me, please."

Ana's tears have started again, gently rolling out from the corners of her eyes. Ana begins to outright sob, attempting in vain to do so inaudibly but fails miserably, her body shaking from her weeping. Ana is utterly bereft and torn at what to do-the right thing to do.

Christian suddenly groans and falls onto Ana, burying his face in her hair. Still weeping, a bemused Ana jumps slightly, as Christian begins kissing her hair, her face, finally her lips.

"I want you so much, Ana," he quietly breathes into her mouth and gently forces her legs apart.

"I want you too." Ana softly replies.

Christian's tongue is in her mouth now, desperate and unrelenting, making Ana instantly wet. The room is suddenly filled with the sounds made by their ragged breathing and soft groans. Christian bites the side of Ana's neck, causing her to cry out as she frantically tries to slide herself onto his cock. Making his way down to Ana's breast that are still covered by her bra, Christian uses his teeth to push up one of its cups and moans, before he begins to greedily suck on her nipple, causing Ana to yell out.

"Christian! Oh…please," She can feel him smiling on her breast.

"What do you want, Ana?"

Christian's cock is somehow perfectly positioned to her entrance and he slowly pushes the tip in and then stops. His breathing is erratic like Ana's, and she can see that Christian's self-control is faltering.

"Tell me, Ana. What do you fucking want?" His voice strained as he listens to her moaning loudly.

"I want you to fuck me. Fuck me, please," Her words are barely coherent; she is only able to moan, to pant.

Christian eases into her slowly making Ana moan.

"Oh…God." She breathes, as he completely fills her with the biggest cock that has ever fucked her.

Christian slowly pulls back, only to slowly and deliberately push back inside her. He does this several times, looking straight into Ana's eyes, sweat from his forehead dripping down onto her stomach. "You. Feel. Like. A. Velvet. Glove," Christian groans, causing Ana to struggle to free her wrists and raise her hips up so he will fill her again.

"Please, I can't take this. Please, Christian, fuck me!" Ana is panting hard, moaning loudly, and begging him. "God! Do it now, Christian…I,"

Christian's hungry mouth lands back on her nipple, biting it harshly and slamming his cock into her at the same time. Ana's screams out-from his cock slamming into her and the bite of her nipple, and she immediately comes around his cock. Christian's thrusts speed up, and he groans into Ana's neck. Her hips are meeting his as he continues slamming into her, pounding his cock into Ana harder and faster. Placing his mouth over hers, Christian bites her bottom lip hard, causing Ana to cry out.

Christian's rhythm never stops or slows down. His breathing is hard as he crams his tongue into Ana's mouth forcefully and begins sucking her tongue. Over and over, he drives his cock deeply in Ana's pussy as if from desperation. Ana's slamming her hips up to his, causing his cock to fill her to the hilt as it stretches her pussy. She can feel herself running down her ass and coating Christian's balls as he slams them against her.

"Oh, harder…Christian…fuck,"

Ana can feel it building, her body heating up as the sensation begins sliding down her body, groaning and thrashing her head side to side.

"Oh, oh, God," Ana manages to garble, but Christian just does not stop. If anything, he is thrusting harder and faster as Ana's walls start clenching his cock in a vice grip, Christian sounds as if he is growling.

"Christian!" Ana's orgasm is so intense it has left her body shaking so hard, it is as if she's convulsing. Ana throws her head back, continuing to cry out as Christian is still fucking her harder, prolonging her orgasm.

"I know, baby," he is breathless and sweating all over her when his mouth is back on her nipple, sucking hard and still thrusting hard into her.

Ana is barely meeting him now, she is spent and splintered from this fuck, these orgasms. Moaning and whimpering while Christian chases his own orgasm, but she's still aroused and pouring around him as she hears the noises he's making and knowing how frenzied he is because of her pussy.

Ana feels Christian gripping her wrists harder at the very moment his bites her nipple painfully, and with one deep thrust; Christian explodes inside her, calling out her name and collapses on top of her.

They both remain like that, with Christian still inside her. Their erratic breathing eventually slows down, until it is nonexistent and normal again. Christian finally moves off Ana's body, and much to her surprise, he is looking at her sheepishly. She smiles at him, her hair a drenched mess and her face a blazing flush. Christian's returning smile takes Ana's breath away.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" His voice expresses sincere concern.

Ana shakes her head, blue eyes shining. "God, no. That was life changing,"

Christian raises his eyebrows. "Life changing?" He is still smiling and looks pleased.

"Yes. Life affirming as well," She is staring very boldly into his beautiful gray eyes.

"I think I've been waiting for that my entire life." Ana says.

Christian pushes off of her, finally freeing her wrists and gets up, pulling down the cup of her bra to cover her breast.

Standing up to his full height and still smiling, Christian looks down to the sofa where Ana is still lying, wearing only her bra and those fucking black boots.

"I think I've been waiting for that my entire life, too." He softly says.