Hungry Sano Presents…..

The Best Bleach Fanfic ever written! (Yay!)

Scott Jones sat at his computer on Saturday night. He had nothing to do, no friends to hang out with and was done wanking to his Sailor Moon Doujinshi. He decided to cap off a perfect night, a Bleach marathon was in order. Bleach, being the best and undisputed champion of all anime, HAD to be Scott's choice. Without a word, he happily went to his fansub files and began to watch.

The marathon went on for an hour, which by then, a thunderstorm began. This didn't bother Scott. He was too busy watching Bleach to care. That is, until a lightning bolt struck the roof of his house and shut off all the power, without knocking out any power sources.

Since the power was out and Scott had to try to live without watching anymore bleach until the power came back on. Before he could think of something else to do, a tall man with red hair, a black shinigami uniform and a huge, jagged looking sword over his shoulder jumped out of his computer screen.

The man raised an eyebrow and said to himself, "This….is supposed to be the chosen one?"

Scott gasped, "You are….you are Abarai Renji!"

Renji nodded, ignoring the fact that a person he never met before knew his name. "That's right. I'm here to take you to Soul Society for your training. We are in need of your assistance."

And that was how it all started.

Later, in Soul Society, Scott was given a Zanpaktou named Shoryuken, which was Japanese for Rising Dragon Sword….or Punch….but it was a sword. Um, yeah. Anyway, Genryusai gave it to him and explained how to use it against the ultimate evil that was destined to come and wipe out Soul Society for no apparent reason. Also, he was made a captain and created the fourteenth squad, which was the strongest of all. Even Byakuya was afraid to fight with Scott because he was SO awesomely powerful.

The day after he became captain, he and Matsumoto started dating because she fell in love with Scott the moment she saw him. They would have sex 47 times a day and 98 times on Sundays. Kenpachi quit being a captain so he could be Scott's vice captain and Yachiru joined the 14th squad, too.

On day, Ichigo, Yourichi and Uehara came for a visit and Scott spared with them all at the same time. He beat them all up with no problems and then treated them to lunch.

"Don't feel bad," he said, "No one can beat me anyway! Hahahaha!"

Then, the day came when the ultimate evil arrived to destroy Soul Society for no reason.

"I AM HERE TO DESTROY YOU ALL FOR NO LOGICAL REASON," the evil bellowed.

"Not on MY watch!" Scott jumped up at the evil thing, which had no general description, and slashed at it. HE then landed on his feet behind the creature and said. "It's over now."

"HA! YOU ARE A FOOL. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HURT ME," said the monster.

Scott replied, "On the contrary." He paused dramatically. "You're already dead."

The monster then screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then, it promptly exploded like the monsters on that Power Rangers show.

Everyone cheered for Scott, as he had saved soul Society from being wiped out for no logical reason. Yourichi, Matusmoto, Rukia, and Inoue (how'd SHE get there!) all piled on top of him and had a 5 day orgy.

Then the day came when Scott returned back to his own world where he discovered that he wasn't really from that world, but Genryusai, his grandfather, sent him there when he was a baby. So he went back to Soul Society to live there and make babies with all his favorite shinigami women.

THE END

Moral: Friends don't let friends write bad self inserts.