All rights to the story and characters of FsoG belong to E. L. James.

There's A Truth That Life's Revealing

May 2012

Perhaps a romantic honeymoon in the South Pacific is the exact time for a new bride to stick her foot in the dark waters of the unknown. That water is murky and laps at your feet in a quiet and cold lurking fashion, but it is a place that also holds a mystery that excites you. You are aware that the best sex of your life has not been gentle. It has been when he is rough with you and it only makes you wetter, and that one single painful bite nearly makes you convulse. So if your toe has already touched that dark, cold water and you enjoyed it, maybe you can step into a bit further.

Anastasia could say it was a simple question asked by Gail that had led her to that moment, when your fear is palpable and the smell from your lust fills the room. But to say that would be an excuse and is not owning your own behavior and actions. It is also blaming someone else for your choices, for being a cop out.

Ana and Gail were packing Anastasia's clothes for her and Christian's three-week honeymoon when Gail walked out of Ana's closet swinging a pair of pink and fuzzy handcuffs that Kate's mother had given Ana at her bachelorette party.

"Ana, shall I pack these for you?"

It was an innocent and playful question that sent them both into fits of laughter as Ana nodded yes and went into her closet to get the rest of the kinky and playful gifts she had been given. The pink blindfold that came along with the handcuffs, an insanely funny book full of different sex games, and edible body paint. At the last minute Ana threw in the tube of lubricant for some back door action. A honeymoon is for romance, but it would not hurt to add a little fun to the mix, would it?

Ana had never been shy or close-minded when it came to sex and when Christian asked if she would consider having anal sex, she had no qualms about it. Naturally, the fact that she quickly acquiesced led to Christian asking if she had ever done it and once she told him that she had, he threw a massive fit and sulked in his study until the next morning. His mood did not last long though since later that evening he was all but begging for it.

Having anal sex with Riley was completely opposite than with Christian, but Ana expected that. In all aspects of their sex life, Christian was not gentle, and he did not make an exception with this particular sex act either. With Riley it had been gentle, practically delicate and he was terrified he was hurting her, which was quite the opposite, it appeared as if Ana enjoyed it more than Riley did.

Christian may have been a bit forceful with Ana during sex, but he always made sure she was all right, asking if he was hurting her. Christian could not have ever been called gentle when it came to their sex life but Ana liked that, it was now the way she preferred to have sex and that admission to herself shocked the shit out of her. Ana had always had a one-dimensional view of herself, and it never included her sexual life with her husband. For Ana, she felt she had discovered that she was not who she assumed herself to be. The hardest part for Ana was realizing she was not who she thought she was. Who you believe you are is a truth that is cold and concrete, and to be honest, it is scary. Because if Ana was not who she thought she was, then who in the fuck was she?

This self-discovery was only reinforced when a ridiculously girly pink pair of handcuffs made out of the cheapest plastic and its matching blindfold made their way onto Anastasia Grey's naked body inside a gorgeous over the water bungalow on a private island that the ridiculously rich Christian Grey rented them for the first week of their honeymoon. Christian had been so scared that he would tighten the cuffs too much that it would hurt Ana, she laughed and told him that Mattel made toys from stronger plastic.

Playing that books different sex games each night as they hopped from island to yacht to island, Christian and Ana had probably had enough sex to last them a lifetime, and Ana's jaw was perpetually sore from all the head she had given her new husband. It was right in the middle of Ana sucking away and moaning on Christian's cock when he suddenly stopped her. Looking at her husband in confusion, Ana saw his beautiful head cocked a bit to the side and he was wearing a sly grin, his chest still heaving.

"Did I accidentally bite you?"

"No baby, I just thought about something that would be sexy as hell,"

"What?"

"Go get those silly handcuffs and that blindfold. I want to try something,"

"Try what?"

"Something hot. Now go find them before my balls explode,"

Minutes later, Ana was not just giving Christian head, he was standing in front of Ana, whose arms were secured behind her back with fuzzy pink handcuffs and wearing a girly pink mask, and he was fucking her mouth. The fact that Ana had no gag reflex at all made this all the more better for Christian, as he held onto the sides of her head and pulled on her hair that he'd quickly braided, filling her mouth with his cock until it hit the back of her throat. Ana had never been so turned on in her life, but also wondered if she was stepping into that dark and muddy water a little more than she intended to.

July 2012-January 2013

Christian and Ana moved into their home on the Sound in early July. The house itself only needed minor repair work, which Elliot and his company completed in three months. The first month after they'd moved in, Ana spent most of her time getting lost, while Christian spent most of his time searching for his missing wife, calling out her name but the house was so huge she never heard him. Ana could not conceive of how much money Christian was spending on this house that included his ridiculous inside basketball court and inside Olympic sized pool. It seemed to ostentatious and wasteful in Ana's opinion.

The only things Ana cared about was having her own library and turning adjoining bedrooms into suites so that Ray or other family members could stay in as they visited. Ana also told Elliot to paint a few rooms a neutral color so they could be a nursery whenever she and Christian decided on having a family. Ana was too busy talking to Elliot to notice that Christian made no comment about starting a family, or the odd expression on her brother in laws face who was facing Christian while Ana was speaking.

From the very start, Christian and Ana's relationship had been a whirlwind, one that was fast and intense. They married quicker than either imagined, perhaps fueled by the fact Christian had never been in love before and his passion swept Ana away. They were both blinded, fused-gray to blue, and Ana grasped onto Christian while he held onto her even tighter as they attempted to navigate their way through an all-consuming love for each other. There were many days that Ana felt as if she was stuck on top of a Ferris wheel looking down onto Christian and the walls he had built around himself. It took awhile for Ana to gain his trust, but when he eventually realized he could emotionally trust her, he explained his fear of being touched and shared those first dark four years of his life. Somewhere along the way Christian developed into a mature man, and was no longer stuck in that four-year-old boys fucked up mindset. He seemed to have finally meshed into the man he should have been all along.

Whether it was Christian's emotional growth or witnessing Ana's loving and close relationship with his family, he was finally able to open up and accept the unconditional love his family had always wanted to shower him with. Christian was constantly thanking her for healing him, to which Ana told him, was complete bullshit. She was not an angel or a miracle worker, but his wife and perhaps she had simply led him by example. Whatever brought Grace's youngest son back into the family fold, it only made her love Ana all the more.

The couple never missed a family dinner, although Ana sometimes wished they had since the creepy Cruella friend of Grace's was often there as well. Even months after initially meeting this woman, she still could not pinpoint what it was about that woman that made her feel so strangely towards her, and she would never understand why in the world she would be Grace's best friend. How one of the world's kindest human beings could be a friend to one of the world's most cold and creepiest human beings was a conundrum to Ana. And no matter how many receipts for lunch and an expensive bottle of wine from some exclusive restaurant that Ana would find, Christian would always say they were from mere business meetings with Elena.

It was always pure business with a long time family friend, that eventually became glaringly apparent that this long time family friend was also a close friend of Christian's; despite the fact she was nearly twenty years older than him. He had no other friends, no other men to talk to other than his security team and Elliot. Christian actually slipped up one night after drinking too much and told Ana that Elena was the only person that knew the real Christian. The REAL Christian? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? The first thing that flew into Ana's mind was that this Cruella creature must have known about Christian's past in BDSM, and if so, why in the hell would she?

During this rare drunken state that was brought about by losing a big acquisition at work, he also slurred to his wife how sexy and gorgeous he thought Elena was. Besides chipping off a piece of Ana's heart, Christian's drunken confession only added gasoline to the fire of Ana's insecurities when it came to him. Sure, she was an eager and willing participant to play with Christian, but she never lost that feeling of not being what he needed, always torturing herself that he simply could not have lost his desire to be a dominant so quickly, which meant she could not give him his kicks.

Naturally, once Ana confronted Christian about what he had said about Elena Lincoln, he denied meaning a word of it and told Ana he had no idea why he would even mention her name. And as time crept on, with more receipts found and telephone calls between her husband and another woman, Christian never failed to defend his actions and Elena, which led to countless bitter and angry arguments that always ended when Christian just told Ana she was being irrationally jealous. Elena Lincoln and her black Morticia Adams clothes quickly became a looming shadow over their marriage, one that Christian seemingly chose over Ana at each turn, even as he witnessed Elena's patronizing behavior towards Ana whenever they had the misfortune of being around each other. Ana quickly realized she was allowing the both of them to walk all over her and she just did not understand why.

Ana could only be afraid that if Christian kept this up they would not stand a chance. Along with this Elena bullshit, he carried so much garbage with him, that Ana tried very hard to hide her frustrations. Ana knew Christian was not doing anything to stop the shit that was bothering her when it came to Elena, and tried to step away from her fears and insecurities that had started playing with Ana's head. She would wonder if there was a reason Christian behaved like this, doing absolutely nothing. Ana knew that he told her he loved her more than anything, but how could she be so sure in the face of this absurd disrespect he had for his own wife?

Two weeks after Ana and Christian moved into their new home, Elliot and Kate surprised the all of the Grey's during a family dinner when Elliot suddenly stood up, looking a bit nervous but very excited, and cleared his throat. All the nonstop chatter from around the table stopped as all eyes were on Elliot, but Ana was staring at Kate who was blushing for the first time in her life and shyly looking at her best friend.

"May I have everyone's attention, please?"

Ana nearly giggled at him, because even when Elliot was being serious he still carried an aura of humor and a wonderful positive personality with him that it was hard to take him seriously. She knew what he was going to say and could not wait to see how he managed to get the words out along with the family's reaction.

"Katherine and I have very recently learned that we are to be parents and we wanted to share our happy news with you tonight since the whole family is present,"

Carrick and Grace looked utterly surprised and could not find the words to speak, but Mia was already screeching and practically pouncing on top of Kate, while Ana started crying happy tears for them. Christian stared at his older brother with what appeared to be disappointment in his eyes and as if he wanted to reprimand Elliot. Grace and Carrick finally came back down to earth and both were crying and congratulating Elliot and Kate. Everyone was ecstatic from the news, but Ana knew Christian well enough to see that he did not approve. Why he did not was not clear to her, but she assumed it was his hostile dislike for Kate, and that he was not overly enthusiastic about her becoming a Grey. While Christian was shaking Elliot's hand their father loudly announced that hopefully the family would not have too long for Ana to be carrying the next baby Grey.

"Oh, dad, don't start talking about that now. Ana is still young and building a career. Give us some time would you?"

Christian is replying while trying to get out of a headlock Elliot has him in and Mia is already bouncing baby names off Kate and Ana. But being her usual antagonistic self whenever it came to Christian, and full of burning dislike over knowing the actual Christian, Kate just had to remind him of the obvious, which everyone else did not seem to notice.

"Christian, Ana is the same age as I am and I'm also working to build upon my career. Are you implying I shouldn't be having this child?"

And just as it was on the very few occasions that Kate even acknowledged Christian, the room became somewhat quieter as all eyes moved to Christian.

"No, I'm not, Katherine. I was referring to my wife,"

"Is that your decree or your mere opinion of when and where my best friend is allowed to procreate?"

Christian's face was void of expression, refusing to be lured into whatever corner Kate's glaring eyes were trying to lead him to. Ana, always stuck between her husband and best friend, said nothing, but it was Elliot that made the wrong decision by defending his younger brother.

"Kate, don't start. Christian did not imply anything like that..."

"Of course! Defend him as usual, has anyone asked my best friend..."

"Elliot, Christian, Katherine that is enough! This is neither the time nor place for this. We have had wonderful news and this is time to celebrate that. Carrick, please bring us a bottle of our finest champagne while I get juice for our dear Kate,"

Grace had a shut the hell up expression directed right at her two sons and Kate, even with a joyful tone in her voice. Essentially, she shut their shit down with a smile on her lips. Grace loved them all, but having Kate and Christian in the same room was like playing with dynamite.

Three weeks later, the Grey and Kavanagh families all gathered in Carrick and Grace's backyard as Kate became Mrs. Elliot Grey. Christian served as his older brother's best man and Ana and Mia served Kate as maid and matron of honor. Six months later Kate gave birth to a daughter, Ava Rose, who was an exact replica of her father.

As Christian and Ana left the hospital after visiting baby Ava, flanked by Taylor and Sawyer, Christian looks down at his wife and asks her a question that she would come to ponder frequently.

"Have you had your period yet?"

Ana quickly looked to Taylor and Sawyer in complete embarrassment, her face bright red.

"Christian, lower your voice,"

Rolling his eyes at her in a gesture that said, "As if they haven't heard worse." he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, have you?"

"Why? I seriously can't believe you're asking me this right now,"

"I'm asking you because I don't want to get you pregnant and I know how irresponsible you can be about taking your pill. In fact, I think I'm going to make you an appointment with your gynecologist so you can start getting the Depo shot."

"What? You think you are going to make a decision about my body and call my doctor? And I am not fucking irresponsible, do you think I'm your fucking child or better yet some sub you push around and tell what to do!"

Ana does not think she has ever been this enraged at another human being and begins to walk so fast she is practically running, but before she gets to far Christian is back by her side.

"Do not say that shit when we're out in public!"

Hissing his words at Ana, Christian is rubbing both of his hands through his hair and glaring down at her.

"If you are so ashamed for that word to be spoken around you, then you shouldn't have fucking had those rent a weekend submissives,"

"Lower your voice, Anastasia and be more circumspect with what you say in public. And I brought up that you need to change your birth control to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. There was no excuse for Elliot knocking up Kate and I don't want that to happen to us."

This time Ana does not run but rather stops dead in her tracks. Every bit of blood has drained from her face due to the words that just easily flowed from the mouth of her husband. Ana can only stare at him as if she is meeting him for the first time, gaping at him in complete and utter shock. It takes her several minutes and shaking his words from her mind before she finds words to say to him. Christian is facing her, looking bemused but also a bit smug. He actually looks smug. When Ana starts to reply to this man she married, her words come out in a loud and indignant voice that causes everyone around them to stare.

"So, you're telling me that if birth control failed and I ended up pregnant with your fucking baby it would be UNWANTED? Not UNPLANNED, but UNWANTED? Is that what you really feel? Not that we are married and sometimes unexpected pregnancies do happen, but ours would not be wanted? Well, what in the fuck would you expect me to do with it? Put it in a basket and float it down a river like Moses? Or more along the lines of getting rid of it? Is THAT what you're informing me of while you make decisions about my body and healthcare?"

Christian harshly grabs Ana's elbow and pulls her quickly to the elevators. As they stand waiting for the doors to open, Christian's face is as impassive as Taylor's and Sawyer's. Ana feels like she is surrounded by robots as she pulls her arm from Christian's grasp. Once they enter the elevator, he loses his shit, looking down at Ana with eyes so narrowed they are in a slit like a snakes, and he points a finger at her.

"Don't ever disrespect me like that again, Anastasia. That was uncalled for and worse yet, in a public…"

"Ohhhh...so what I asked you is not as important to you as us being in public. God, forbid the press gets wind of proof that Christian Grey really is a heartless bastard,"

The force and depth of Christian's anger is swirling around Ana and their two CPO's. But Ana cannot give a fuck. The fact that he thinks it's fine to decide which method of birth control she uses, and then tell her a baby unexpectedly conceived by a married couple who are in love with one another is a god damn unwanted mistake? Well, fuck him.

"And don't you ever judge your brother and my best friend for that beautiful baby I just held in my arms. You have got a whole lot of fucking nerve to even consider that your opinion should matter when it comes to their life or their decisions. At least Elliot didn't tell Kate their baby was unwanted, and that's proof that of the two of you he's the decent husband."

Ana has wrapped her arms around herself protectively wondering how this man could actually have those feelings toward any baby that might be conceived in love, whether a surprise or not. Christian's entire body is ramrod straight and tense and he is standing to his full height.

"Oh, and another thing, Christian. I do not want to have a baby right now. And to be very honest, having a baby by a man who just said those horrible things to his wife, I doubt I'll ever want to have your child,"

Ana words sound harsh and her voice is hoarse from attempting to keep her tears at bay. Yes, it is true she does not want a baby now, but never wanting a child with Christian is a blatant lie, but one she will not confess to right now since she feels like he just kicked her straight in the heart. But then Ana watches as Christian reacts to what she has said to him. Fully expecting his ire, or maybe even appearing that Ana's words had wounded him, she watches as Christian's entire body visibly relaxes and he blows out a deep breath he has obviously been holding. And like before, when she felt him kick her in the heart, his actions bring down the same blow, but Ana has had a sudden revelation, one about the fact that Christian has never uttered a word about becoming a father, and that this all means he never wants to have children.

Ana has to bite her tongue to keep from crying.

Not just from how he's made her feel, but from how she has allowed him to make her feel.