All rights to the story of FsoG and characters belong to E.L. James
Was She Asking For It?
May 2012-February 2014
In the beginning, Christian and Ana's marriage was heavenly. Ana quickly learned how to handle Christian and his mercurial ways while he tried his very best to reign in his controlling tendencies when it came to her safety. Trying being the operative word since it was literally an obsession of his. At one point he wanted to add a female CPO along with Sawyer, but Ana put her foot down when it came to having a woman standing in front of a bathroom stall while she took a piss. Beside, Ana reminded him, there was no way anyone was going to get around Sawyer and get to Ana. In mere months, Sawyer and Ana developed a trusting and friendly relationship and despite her usual stubborn refusal of being told what to do, Ana was not this way with Sawyer, probably because he did not attempt to intimidate her into doing something. She would never stop telling Sawyer to just call her Ana, and he never listened to her. It often appeared that Sawyer felt as if Ana was his boss and not Christian, which was something that Christian Grey did not like.
The fact they had married so quickly, Christian and Ana found that they were so alike in many facets of their personalities, sharing the same love for certain books and movies, along with many differences as well, especially on political views and their individual theories on things such as gun control. It was all of these things that fused the two of them together in what appeared as a perfect fit and caused them to grow into one another. The once aloof and closed off Christian Grey became outwardly loving and affectionate and Ana, well, Ana simply glowed from happiness. From the inside out their marriage felt perfect and appeared without a flaw. The Grey family was ecstatic but Kate knew better.
From day one, Christian and Ana found out that they were exceptionally compatible sexually and with Ana's natural curiosity she was not closed-minded to try new things. After their honeymoon and those fuzzy pink handcuffs, those new things began to evolve into sexual activity that Christian started pulling out of the deepest crevices of Ana's mind. The first time Christian ripped off a pair of her panties and used them to tie her wrists together behind her back, Ana had never experienced such an intense orgasm. Christian recognized that Ana had a small dark space in her head that her body enjoyed and often craved. It almost seemed inevitable that after their honeymoon, Ana asked Christian to unlock the room upstairs, and from then on, the couple spent sporadic hours inside of the playroom, but Ana and her long brown tresses in an almost perfect French braid, only allowed those hours to be for pleasure.
Then on Ana's birthday, after returning from a large party the Grey's threw for her that included Ray, the couple were both in the mood to play. After countless orgasms courtesy of her insatiable husband, Ana began to eye one of the many riding crops handing from hooks along the wall and from out of nowhere she wondered how that would feel across her skin. Christian raised his exhausted head and followed where Ana's eyes had drifted. Whether she was lost in a sated post orgasmic state or from her natural sense of curiosity, Ana did not understand why she imagined the feelings this riding crop would bring her.
"What are you looking at?"
Christian's words snapped Ana from her reverie but she was too embarrassed to tell him. He began nipping along her neck and collarbone, his tongue along it, causing Ana to wiggle and whimper underneath him.
"Hmm...What were you looking at, Anastasia? Tell me,"
"Ah...that riding crop looking thingy."
Christian laughed loudly. "Thingy?"
Ana swatted his arm and blushed a bright red.
"Does my baby want me to get it down and run it along her body? Hmm?"
His voice was hypnotic and husky, as he tried to control his panting, which only increased Ana's state of heightened arousal, but she was too bashful to answer him.
"It won't hurt you, Ana. I would not hurt you. If you are afraid of that and any pain it may cause you, it's all in your head anyway,"
Christian continued kissing and licking his way down her body. Ana finally found her voice, albeit small and murmured in a whisper.
"Ok."
Christian looked in her eyes shrewdly, searching whether or not she was sure.
"Are you serious? I don't want to do anything you're ambivalent about,"
"I'm serious, Christian. I want to see what it feels like you can go get it. I'll try it, but never anything that will leave me black and blue."
Climbing off Ana, a naked Christian walked to where the riding crops were hanging, hesitating before touching one. He turned back to Ana, who was now sitting up on the bed watching him.
"Are you positive about this? I haven't laid a finger on one of these in a long while now, and I don't want to do anything that's going to freak you out or upset you,"
"Yes, I'm positive Christian. I want to see what it feels like, but please don't hurt me."
"Never, baby,"
He sounded excited, with a rasping and raw voice. Without even having to look at them, Christian removed a riding crop and walked back to the bed, looking down at Ana with gray eyes that were suddenly on fire with some unknown emotion. Ana's stomach was fluttering nervously as she eyed the object Christian was holding in his hand and looked up at his face.
"What do I do now?"
"Stand up, baby,"
With legs as weak as Bambi and her heart crawling up her throat, Ana got off the bed and stood awkwardly before her husband.
Christian slowly walked behind his wife without saying a word, but she noticed that his breath had altered somewhat and since Ana was holding hers, Christian's breath was the only noise filing the room.
"Hold out your right hand, baby."
Ana raised her right arm, knowing that she was visibly shaking. She kept her eyes fixed on the red wall in front of her and waited for Christian to tell her what to do next.
"I'm just going to swat your hand and I want you to tell me if it hurts you. Okay,"
If Ana had not been so hyper aware of her surroundings, she might have missed the subtle change of tone in Christian's words or felt how his posture straightened as he was pressing into her back. But Ana did not miss it and could not understand what this might imply.
"Okay." It was just a whisper.
The contact the riding crop made on the palm of her hand was quick and soft, but Ana jumped from surprise and let out a small gasp when she felt it on her skin. Ana could feel Christian's rock hard erection digging into her.
"Did that hurt? If anything starts to hurt you, just say stop,"
"It didn't hurt."
Ana's heart was slamming into her chest wall from anticipation. This time the crop did not come down on her palm. Christian began to slowly run the crop along her outstretched arm and down her back, causing her to shiver. He ran the crop over every inch of her body and once he was standing in front of her, he used a leg to separate her thighs. Then he gently snapped the crop directly on her clit, causing Ana to groan loudly and her legs began to shake. Christian leaned down and bit Ana's earlobe.
"Did you like the way that felt, Ana?"
Ana could only whisper a breathless yes.
"Put your arms around your back, baby. I am going to use your panties to tie your wrists, ok?
Ana nodded, listening as Christian moved about the room. Her arousal was driving her mad and the throbbing between her legs was screaming for relief. Lost in her thoughts, she did not realize her wrists were already tied behind her back until she felt Christian's warm breath on the back of her neck.
"Ana, are you alright? Do you still want to do this? Tell me,"
"Yes, I'm fine. I still want to try."
"Remember the minute you want to stop, tell me and I will immediately. All right, Ana? Say alright."
"I will say it. I will say stop. What are you going to do?"
Ana could feel Christian's smile on her neck right before he bit down on it making her moan.
"I'm just going to make you feel good, baby,"
Ana closed her eyes tightly and held her breath, from both her fear and longing when she felt the crop land on the top of her right thigh causing her to jump again. Slowly and methodically, Christian made his way around her body, flicking the riding crop against every inch of her skin. Ana could feel her body releasing its ambivalence and fear as it reached out to grab this strange but oddly erotic experience. When Christian reached to her right breast, he bent down and latched onto her nipple, sucking it hard as he held Ana upright since her legs had gone out from under her.
"If you want this standing up, I'm going to have to move you since you don't seem able to stand on your own. The only way you can remain standing is if I cuff your hands above you."
Christian was speaking against her nipple, still sucking and biting it gently. Ana was drenched and beginning to writhe as his mouth pushed and pushed her closer to the edge.
"It will be so much better standing up, baby. God, I want to fuck you so bad, right now, standing up."
By now, Ana had left her body, becoming nothing but a sensation. A sensation of hot and cold lust that was a dam burning to burst. She could only nod her assent to Christian, who moved her to the St. Andrews cross and adeptly cuffed Ana's wrists, only the tips of her toes on the hardwood floor.
"Christian...please,"
"I know, baby. I will. Just feel it."
Kissing her deeply and harshly, Christian took her bottom lip and bit it hard, causing Ana's whimpering to turn into a wild moan, while her head fell back. Christian took the same nipple in his mouth and then thrust two of fingers inside her pussy, causing them both to groan. Standing up and pulling his fingers out, Christian moved away from her enough so that he could resume working her over with the riding crop. He aimed it at the very nipple he had driven her crazy with, the flick of the crop made Ana nearly came, crying out his name. He gently continued hitting that same nipple over and over until he saw that Ana was about to fall over the ledge and then he just stopped. Ana cried out in protest, her wild blue eyes landing on his gray ones that were nearly unrecognizable. Christian smiled at her in an almost devilish grin and then began to hit the other side of her body with the crop, only this time Ana felt the crops force was a bit harder, drawing out a scream of pleasure that reverberated throughout the room.
Once Christian recognized that he had taken his wife to a place that erased her fear, he dropped the riding crop and without warning, wrapped her dangling legs around his waist and started pounding into her, as he had never done before. With just three strokes of his cock, Ana came hard around him, yelling out his name in a hoarse and exhausted voice. Ana was nothing but a hanging and debilitated puppet that Christian mercilessly rammed into over and over.
Over time, Christian and Ana would occasionally go back into the playroom but it was on Ana's terms – no pain. Christian never seemed to have a problem with this and it appeared to soothe an ache that Ana felt surrounded him. There were a few times where Ana was uncomfortable, perhaps even afraid of something that would be painful, but every time she asked herself if she would do it again, the answer was always yes, but only if he does not hurt me. Ana had never confided the reason she would never be able to tolerate pain, wondering what he would think, or if it would change anything.
One evening after Ana had been promoted to editor at Grey Publishing, she dragged her exhausted ass in the front door, with an equally weary looking Sawyer on her heels. It had been a long day that kept Ana working later than usual. Christian was sitting at the breakfast bar chatting with Gail who was scurrying around their kitchen preparing dinner. Ana tossed her purse and briefcase on a table in the entryway. The first thing she noticed was that Christian was slowly nursing his glass of wine and would not look at her. She rolled her eyes at herself thinking he could not possibly be pissed off that she had stayed at work a bit later, especially after she called and told him. Obviously, she was wrong, but still went up to him and kissed his cheek.
"How was your day, Anastasia?" His voice was acerbic as finally looked at her.
All she was thinking as she looked at her husband is he fucking kidding me?
"It was abysmal, like I told you earlier. What time did you get home?"
"Awhile ago. Mrs. Taylor put off starting dinner until you came home,"
Christian's eyes narrowed at Ana, as if he was daring her to reply. Not falling into whatever pit of an argument he is attempting to start, Ana makes her way up the stairs.
"I'm going to change clothes real quick. I'll be right down."
Ana tries her best to hide the annoyance she is feeling, but stalks to the staircase, only to feel Christian behind her. Oh, so he wants to apologize now? Heading into her closet to change into something more comfortable, Ana hears Christian lock the door behind him, then his arms encircling her waist as he starts kissing her neck.
"I'm sorry if I appeared grumpy. We lost a big deal today and I have been pissed off ever since. I didn't mean to take it out on you,"
"Apology accepted. I understand completely because I had the day from hell. I think I want to go back to be being an editor's assistant. It was practically a stress free job, and since I got promoted, even poor Sawyer has to suffer along with me."
Ana has taken off her blouse and skirt and is searching for her yoga pants, standing in just her bra and panties. She laughs when she catches Christian gawking at her and walks up to him and kissed him deeply.
"What are you looking at, Mr. Grey? Anything that makes you want to knock one off quickly?"
Ana sees the bulge in his pants and bites her bottom lip anticipating what is about to happen. Looking up at Christian through her eyelashes, she recognizes the lust in his eyes, but along with lust, there is something else that she cannot quite pinpoint. He shakes his head very slowly and pulls her to him while Ana takes a deep breath; she is excited and wet already.
"No, Mrs. Grey. I do not want to knock one off quickly. I want something else; I want to slowly savor you,"
Ana feels the longing on her face as she slowly steps out of her panties and he unclasps her bra. She can tell what Christian needs and she is ready to give it to him.
"Go lay on the bed, Anastasia."
Lying on her back while raised up on her elbows so she can watch Christian, she sees him disappear into his closet where he seems to be taking his own sweet time, as though he is purposely making Ana wait. The wait seems much longer than it actually is, but her desire for her husband is nearly crippling. A naked Christian emerges from his closet with two of his ties in one hand and a medium sized black satin bag in his other hand that Ana has never seen before. He is smiling at her, but in a way she's never seen and she swallows hard, trying to push back a sense of uneasiness, an uneasiness brought about by Ana, who is wondering if Christian is attempting to intimidate her, since it seems like that is all he ever wants to do.
"Where did that bag come from, Christian? What's in it?"
Ana's words are rushed and she is frowning at him as she waits for his answer.
"Just some new toys I bought us. Trust me, you will enjoy this even more than our other playtimes. Turn over onto your stomach, Anastasia,"
The tone of his voice is normal as he gazes down upon her playfully. Ana's anxiety begins to abate and she feels silly at her previous ambivalence and turns onto her stomach, she has no reason to fear her own husband, he would never hurt her. The bed dips down as Ana feels him over her and he begins to deftly braid her hair.
"Raise your head up. I have to improvise for a blindfold since our new playroom is not complete. This is just one of my ties."
Ana quickly complies, her body once again hungers for him, and her impatience begins to grow. Christian takes both of her arms and ties them together with his tie, making her only wetter. Christian leans down and runs his tongue up her back.
"Do your arms feel alright? I didn't tie them too tightly did I?"
Ana tells him that it feels fine and can hear what sounds like him removing something from what imagines is that black satin bag.
"Remember to tell me to stop if you don't like something, Ana. The fear of me causing you pain is all in your head, you know I would never intentionally hurt you,"
"I know. I will tell you if it's too much."
Her response is low and husky, mixed with excitement, and a bit of trepidation about what is in that bag. That trepidation is quickly forgotten once she is lost by Christian's mouth and tongue that he is moving all over her body. When he pushes his tongue inside her pussy from behind, Ana cries out, Unable to keep herself from writhing around their king sized bed, Ana feels Christian grip her hips in a way that implies for her to stop. He moves himself from her body and she can feel him shifting to the right.
"Ana, I'm just going to rub our usual lube on you, I'm not going to take your ass, but I'm going to insert something in it that will feel like a bullet. It's like my finger so I know you'll like it,"
"What is it, Chrisitan?"
"Hush now, baby, don't over think this, I've got you,"
The way he whispers those words leave her hypnotized as she feels the familiar sensation of the lubricant he is applying on her. Then he slowly inserts something into her ass that feels foreign, but her traitorous body causes her to groan low in her throat. Ana can hear Christian softly laughing to himself as he plunges two fingers into her pussy causing her to yell out loudly, as his fingers have caused the object in her ass to move deeper inside her.
"Shhh, baby. Everyone in the house is going to hear you."
He sounds amused, but his breathing has become labored and Ana feels his engorged erection on her backside. She wants to tell him to hurry up and take her, when in one swift move; his fingers become his cock that he slams into her with no preamble, causing the object in her ass to move even further up her ass. Ana nearly has an orgasm.
"Oh, fuck..."
Ana cries out and starts pushing her ass backwards to meet his thrusts when Christian suddenly stops and pulls out of her.
"Christian, please!"
"No, I haven't used all of my toys,"
"Please! Don't stop, I don't care about your toys!"
Christian gives Ana's ass a hard slap and she involuntarily moans.
"That's my sweet girl. Ana, I have got a toy here that feels like a small racquetball paddle. I'm going to bring it down by your fingers so you can touch it, ok?"
"A paddle? That will hurt me, Christian!"
Ana feels her blood rush to her head making her feel dizzy. The apprehension is back and she is beginning to panic. Christian was more than aware how she felt about pain – there was not to be any.
Christian abruptly takes Ana's fingers and runs them across a smooth surface that she knows is wood. Ana quickly clenches her hands into a fist, pushing them away from whatever it is that Christian is holding. Why he wants to use this on her is a violation of her trust. He has known since day one how she feels about him hurting her. She starts shaking her head violently and tries to roll onto her back.
"Ana! It is okay, it is me. Calm down, baby,"
Christian is gently stroking his wife's hair as he whispers in her ear in an attempt to reassure her.
"Shhh. Its okay, Anastasia."
Her breathing returns to normal and she stills. Ana knows from Christian's voice that he means what he is saying and she releases the tension she has been holding within her body. The couple remains quiet for a moment before Christian speaks.
"Do you want to stop now? It is ok if you do, baby. I understand and won't be mad,"
Ana will not lie to herself if she says she is still not aroused. Whatever Christian put inside of her is still making her feel full and every time she moves it increases her arousal. Christian is still hovering over her and she can feel his erection touching her. She knows what she wants and needs.
"No, Christian, I don't want to stop. Please. We don't have to."
"Positive?"
Ana nods and Christian picks up right where he left off, only this time burying his face into her pussy and bringing her to a loud orgasm that has her barely mumbling his name. He finally plunges into her, causing the butt plug he bought for her to move over and over with each of his thrusts, causing Ana to cry out at the top of her lungs, her wetness increases from Christian's growling groans that are filling their bedroom. He raises his hand and slaps her ass repeatedly, driving her toward a spiraling downfall, when out of nowhere, her body grips around his cock as her body locks down on an earth shattering orgasm, leaving her strung out and face down on their bed not moving. Ana can feel Christian's hard breathing on her neck as he leans down on her back, still fucking her hard. He is panting and pulling her ass back up to him.
"God, Ana...Ana"
Ana finally comes back to life and realizes she has got to raise her ass since her arms are behind her and she cannot prop up on them. Christian continues to bring his hand down on her ass and upper thighs, in a forceful way, but not painful and it's causing her moans to increase and her breath becomes erratic.
"Ch...Christian...I can't take much more..."
"Fuck...just...I..."
Ana then feels that unbelievable ecstasy building once more and this time she is afraid of what is going to happen. She is already too sensitive and is beginning to get sore; another orgasm will rip her apart.
"Baby...Ana...please let me use the paddle. Please, baby,"
In that one moment, with Ana on the precipice of insanity from her tightly tensed body about to unwind and shatter apart, she concedes with Christian's plea as she screams in the middle of yet another orgasm. Still coming around him hard and wet, Ana suddenly feels a hard blow land across her backside, but dazed and incoherent; her brain is still fuzzy and disconnected as this orgasm drags itself out of her body. Christian hits her again and expeditiously Ana becomes cognizant, raising her head from the pillow. Before she's able to utter a word or take in a breathe of air, she hears Christian's ragged breath as he strikes her again, it feels as if he's putting every ounce of his body's force behind the blow. Then, another blow lands on her, this one on the top of her thighs, the pain feels like a cutting knife, or a fire that he's lit on her ass and Ana realizes that Christian is coming violently inside of her.
Ana begins thrashing around the bed and screaming "STOP!"
NO! This cannot happen again. This is what he did to me. I cannot let him hurt me again. NO!
"Fucking STOP! STOP!"
Get off me, get off me, get off me! DO NOT TOUCH ME! He is hurting me!
"Get off me! Stop it! You are hurting me, Christian! NO!"
When Ana first screamed stop, Christian dropped the paddle, tearing his ties from her wrists and eyes as Ana scrambled off her stomach. When her backside rubbed against the sheets she winced from the stinging pain, scalding tears pouring from her blue eyes. Unable to speak through her strangled sobs and blinded from crying, she falls off the bed as she is attempting to get away from her husband.
"Anastasia!"
Christian jumps off the bed and scoops her into his arms bridal style and holds her close to his chest, but she is still thrashing in a desperate attempt to escape. Christian's strength overpowers her as he is quietly murmuring in her hair that it is okay, he is sorry he hurt her, please forgive me. Sitting on the edge of their bed Christian holds her in his arms for a long time as Ana continues to hysterically sob as he gently rocks her. Ana finally stops crying while Christian keeps wiping the tears from her face, and kissing her forehead. Moving her head away from his chest, Ana looks at him dumbfound, his gray eyes locked onto hers. What does she see in them? Concern? Regret? Confusion? Yes, she sees all three.
"I told you it was okay to do that?"
Christian looks nonplussed by her question as he nods at her.
"I realize I must have, but couldn't you see I only consented because I was in the middle of coming? I suppose I'm making an excuse for saying yes, but I've told you countless times you can't hurt me, so why did you, Christian?"
Christian's bewildered expression seems to harden as he closes his eyes, in the same manner that he does when he is trying to reign in his temper. Ana continues to observe her husband, but he does not speak for a long while.
"Ana, I thought you wanted me to. I thought you were at the point where it was alright...that you wanted it."
Tears start to swim in her eyes once again and she looks away, shaking her head in disbelief at where her lust had led her.
"I...I don't know what happened. I only know I was not thinking straight, I was not fucking capable of thinking. I just thought you were clear on how far I would go. Maybe I never explained my feelings the right way or misled you by all of the other things we have been doing. But I did trust you to never do that."
Christian stares at his wife with wide eyes and an expression that is mournful and sighs deeply. He drops his head in shame and holds onto her even harder, causing Ana to jump from the scorching pain of her backside.
"Come, I'll run you a bath to sit in. I know it hurts, plus I've got to remove that damn butt plug,"
Christian carries his wife into their large bathroom and runs her a lukewarm bath and he adds a bit of baby oil in it. He gently lowers Ana into the water and rubs her back with a sea sponge while she is still hiccupping from her earlier sobbing.
"Baby, raise your ass up so I can get this plug out. Ana, you can trust me. I should have snapped out of thinking only of myself and realized you only consented to it was because you were in mid orgasm. I am so sorry. I'll never forgive myself."
"Christian, did you want to hit me with that because you are missing your old life? Is that why you were only thinking of yourself? Has all this kinky shit made you want to hurt me? You can be honest and tell me. I need to know,"
Ana is speaking so low that Christian is barely able to make out what she is saying. He looks at her dejectedly as he replies.
"No. I do not miss that lifestyle. I love our life. I love my life with you, Anastasia. Goddamn. I am so fucking sorry that I have put that thought in your head. Please, please believe me, baby."
"I don't want you to hurt me from a place of deep rooted fear, Christian. Just because I have not let my fear show, it does not mean I am not feeling it. Actually what it means is that you haven't recognized it,"
Ana's portentous words cause Christian to raise his head suddenly and stare at her profile.
"Fear? A deep-rooted fear, Ana? Where does this fear come from? Tell me."
Christian raises her face by her chin and makes her look him in the eyes. Ana's face is not capable of hiding the heartbreak she feels and her body is shaking from both the water turning cold as well as knowing what her words have brought about and what she is going to have to confide to Christian. A secret she has only trusted with Ray and Kate, the one she never wanted Christian to know about, and the secret she is not going to fully tell him.
"Can we talk about this later, Chrisitan? This water is freezing and I've got to get out,"
"Let me get you a towel and I'll rub some lotion on your backside."
Swiftly toweling Ana off, he gently rubs lotion on her reddened skin and dresses her in a bathrobe. Christian then carries Ana back to their bed where he pulls her into an embrace, kissing her hair and asks her once more to explain what her fear stems from.
"Christian...I don't want to talk about this. Please, don't make me,"
"Did someone hurt you, Anastasia? Is that what you are afraid of? Ana, I need to know."
Christian can feel Ana's body tense in his arms as she begins to cry.
"Shhh, baby. You are safe. You can tell me,"
After Ana sobs for what seems like ages, her body finally relaxes and for a moment Christian is afraid she has fallen asleep. But then she speaks.
"When I was ten years old I was beaten by one of Carla's 'boyfriends' and when she saw me she didn't even take me to the hospital. Instead of leaving him, she sent me back to Ray. Ray did not press charges so Carla would sign over her paternal rights and nearly beat that son of a bitch to death. It's the reason I wasn't keen on having her at our wedding and why I have nothing to do with her."
The grip Christian had on Ana increased with every word she spoke and Ana felt his hot tears begin to run down the back of her neck. Soon, the couple were both holding each other as they wept.
"Oh, baby. I am so sorry. I...what can I say? Shit! I'm so mother fucking sorry, Anastasia for what happened to you as a child and for what I just fucking did to you,"
Ana wiped her nose with the back of her hand, shaking her head sadly because of her childhood and from guilt at the omission she left out when explaining her fear of pain to Christian.
"You don't have to apologize to me, Christian."
"What's this fucker's name, Ana?"
Christian's demand was vehement and he spit it out like venom as he turned Ana to face him, who is shaking her head no.
"Tell me. Now. I am not fucking around, Ana. What's his name?"
"Please, don't yell at me. And...I just...I just can't say it,"
Christian's eyes were on fire from fury. Yes, the fury was born from discovering what had happened to Ana, but it increased tenfold as he scrutinizes the look of utter despair on her face
"Please. Let it be. I don't want to think about this."
Christian clenched his jaws together and screwed his eyes shut.
"Why didn't you tell me? I would not have ever considered doing half the things we have done. God...Ana,"
His words were one long groan and Ana knew that not only was Christian in pain for what had happened to her, but he was remembering what happened to himself as well. They shared childhood trauma.
"It's alright, Christian. We will be fine. Please, we can just lay here and hold one another."
"I wish you'd have told me you went through this. I wish you would have shared that pain and fear with me. You have held my hand through every one of my pity parties, and yet I am sure they have caused you to remember this and suffer through it all alone. I would have been there for you, Anastasia,"
Ana cups the sides of her husband's face and kisses him chastely on the lips. She can see the hurt in his eyes, the hurt that is usually due to a memory of a long ago little boy, but that is now present because of a ten year old little girl. She presses her forehead to his and sighs deeply.
"I know, Christian. I know."
"And now I know I'll never be able to cause you any pain,"
Although the couple continues surveying each other, Ana cannot help but examine those stormy gray eyes and chew over what those words adumbrate. But then Christian closes those eyes that Ana was trying to inspect. Christian's words were unmistakably malcontent and his expression was bleak and resigned, like a man who had suddenly reached a disappointing conclusion.
A/N
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