Stuffed Shirt

Author's notes:

A possible one-shot fic, depending on the response. This is more comedic.

Contains a possible spoiler for 'The Third Horseman'.

(Found in the LiveJournal of one of MCS' female officers)

Dear diary,

Oh lord, there he is! From the looks of it, he's back from an arrest. Lord, does he look sexy; khaki shirt, white tee and brushed jeans. Oh lord. Sometimes I wonder why Eames hasn't tried to get into his pants, but then he's almost ten years older than her. Still, that doesn't bother me!

His pants... mmmm. It's a pity that in half an hour, he'll be stuffed back into that suit of his. Not that I mind; when he glides in wearing a sexy navy blazer, pale blue shirt, striped tie, fitted pants and meticulously polished shoes, he does things to me no other man could. I'm not sure I'm alone in that!

Lord, there he goes, blazer in hand. To the men's. Someone stop him! I guess the interrogation didn't go as planned. Then again, this is him we're talking about. Perp probably confessed in five minutes flat. Then again, dressed like that, I'd tell him anything he wanted to hear. Oh wait... no, it's just Logan. Grr, get out of the way, Mike, you're obstructing the view!

Oh dear lord, here he comes; straightening his tie with precision. Must steady heartbeat.

OHMYGOD! HE'S LOOKING AT ME! HE'S SMILING AT ME!

Quick, must attempt to appear utterly consumed with important work. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease. Must... look... up...

Oh no.

Still looking.

Still staring.

Still smiling.

Ohshitohshitohshit. Wait. He's... he's... bending over. Oh lord, would you CHECK OUT THAT ASS! Aaaand the crowd goes wild for the honey in the stuffed shirt! Hallelujah! Call the Governor! Declare a national holiday in honour of THAT ASS! Hurrah! He's tying his shoelaces! Hey Eminem! You left his ass out of your song by accident!

There he goes, back to interrogation. I wonder what I'd have to do to get him as a partner. Daczynski is, I'm sorry to say, verylacking in the areas that he has AMPLE talent.

Oh shit! Here comes Deakins! Better close this off now.

M. Buckley