Inauspicious

by annaleeta

Christian & Ana Grey's happy marriage explodes after Ana discovers her husband has returned to his predilections. Ana knows what she must do. This is a story of betrayal, heartbreak, friendship, & revenge. *COMPLETE*

24. Chapter 24

All rights to the characters and story of FSoG belong to E. L. James

The Path To A Happy Ending Is An Exhausting Road

Friday, August 28th, 2015

Montesano, Washington

Ana's POV

"You're an idiot, Steele!"

Pulling my phone from my ear, I check the time and groan. It is five in the morning and even though the phone is away from my eardrum, I can still hear Katherine Grey shrieking and now leaving me with the need of a hearing aid. I stretch my exhausted limbs and unwillingly place my cell back to its proper place. I may be incoherent from a disrupted sleep, but I still cannot help my curiosity over Kate sounding like a cat that is receiving a bath.

"Kate, don't take this personally, but why are you calling me at five in the morning?"

My best friend sighs in exasperation. "I'm nursing Emma Grace for your information and I am calling to talk some sense into your ass." She snaps.

I rub my eyes and silently curse ever meeting this woman. Staying up too late and only getting four hours of sleep does not make Ana a happy woman. Not to say that she was a happy woman before she went to bed. Betrayal is a bitter gall that leaves a rotten taste on your tongue and leads to bleeding of the ears. Things not conducive to getting much rest at night.

"Why does my ass need sense, pray tell?" I ask with a hoarse and raspy voice. Damn, I sound like shit.

"One word: Luke. I spent an hour interrogating him last night and while he admits that keeping you in the dark broke your trust, he is innocent of being some sort of double agent that is working for the king of pain. I believe every word that Luke said and do you want to know why?"

Emma Grace is happily gurgling in the background. I cannot believe Kate is lecturing me about this while a baby is latched to one of her tits. I frown in the darkness of my childhood bedroom.

"You called Luke?" I mutter incredulously. "Can you explain why you did that?"

"Ana, I called him because I was positive that the text you sent me about him could not be the truth. Now take your ass downstairs and talk to Luke and get this shit straightened out!"

Kate demanding that I go downstairs causes me to sit up immediately. "Downstairs? Why in the hell is Luke in this house?" I ask hesitantly. Suddenly I feel that some sort of shit went down after I finally collapsed in the bed and the thought displeases me thoroughly.

She practically growls at me in frustration. "Luke is in the house because Ray took it upon himself to walk outside and ask Luke what in the fuck was going on. He even believes him and forced him to come inside and get out of that damn SUV!" Kate's voice unbelievably emits even louder shrieking.

It is lovely to hear that those closest to me are taking it upon themselves to delve into my feelings of Luke's betrayal. I am accelerating from anger to rage. If I felt caged in yesterday, I have no word to describe how that makes me feel at this moment.

"So you and my dad are now detectives? Jesus, Kate. Does anyone respect my…"

"Listen to me BFF and know that I am telling you out of years of loving you. I totally get why you feel the way you do; but you are dead wrong about this situation," she says in a softer tone. "I have another single word to say to you: Escala"

"Meaning?" For some reason I am now silently pleading for Kate to convince me that I am wrong. I can always blame this instant change of my mind from a sleep-filled haze, but it is probably more of an indicator that I am actually tripolar. Then again, marrying Christian Grey was an indicator I suffer from a mental illness.

I can hear her moving around and I suspect she has put the baby to her shoulder to burp her. Pinching the skin between my eyes, I sigh sadly and wonder if I will ever have my own baby in my arms. Now my shrink's voice is rolling inside my head and telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself. "You're still so young; you have plenty of time to find love, blah, blah, and blah."

"Have you forgotten the trip you and Luke took to D.C.?" Kate asks, this time sounding even more exasperated. "Think about the trouble Luke went through for you. Then seriously consider how he arranged for Grey to be caught in more disgusting and incriminating situations that will enable you to twist his life into a pretzel. Do you really believe Luke would allow you to have that kind of evidence if he was playing you?"

Letting out a deep breath, I resign that Kate's words are true. My sudden change of heart does not surprise me. I never wanted to believe Luke would treat me that way and leave me devastated, hanging upside down from the Space Needle.

Kate continues her yapping and what she says next is nearly enough to make me drive to her house and kick her in the gut.

"Do not forget that you have also been keeping something from Luke as well. So do you really think you have any place up on a high horse?' She asks.

"Kate, I'm a grown woman who turns twenty-five in a matter of days. If I want to stay in contact with Riley, I fucking will. There's no harm in talking to him on the phone, you know?" I huff.

"No harm, Ana? Seriously? It is like Luke said from the beginning of the Riley show, you cannot trust that he will not blab about the two of you once being involved and that you have now supposedly reconnected!"

"Reconnected? We have hardly reconnected, Kate. We occasionally speak on the phone…"

"Anastasia, that is even too much. I will say this again, I agree with Luke on this point. Stop talking to Riley."

Deciding to ignore her order, I maturely hold my phone out and stick my tongue out at it.

"If Luke's been in the house most of the night, where has his shadow been? You know that jack ass will think that looks shady." I say, rolling my eyes and finally getting out of bed.

Kate sighs that I changed the subject. "Ray sent him packing to some motel. He convinced the fucker that he gave a shit that he was going to have to sit in a vehicle all night."

The scenario is typical Ray Steele and I vaguely realize that I am putting on a pair of ratty sweats to head downstairs and seek Luke out. I remain silent long enough to thoroughly irritate Kate and pleasantly amuse myself.

"Well, if it is any consolation, Luke feels like shit about all of this. You should know that he did have a hand in bringing Prescott into the fray, but he has known her for a long time and trusts her. However, rest assured that she has no idea what is really going on and is working under Taylor's orders, but knows Luke well enough to listen when he tells her he reports in to Taylor. Ana, just go sort this out with him. Even if he was playing us for fools, Luke's essential with this shit and could cause it to explode in your face and you'd be in a point of no return." Her words demonstrate the patience she has never had.

"Fine, Kate. I see and understand what you are saying and I have already put on sweats to go down to talk with him. Despite that, Luke did dent my trust and has actually hurt me," I whisper. "You know I do not handle those feelings well."

Kate scoffing at my words does not go unnoticed. "Hurt, huh? Interesting." She makes no further attempt to elaborate on her thoughts over my choice of words, which surprises me. Kate is never one to mince words or not scream her opinion to anyone she damn well pleases, even if no one is listening or gives a shit.

"I am ending this conversation now, Katherine. I promise that I will let you know how it goes…"

"Nope, there won't be any seeing how it goes. It is going to go one way and that is the both of you apologizing and then brain storming over how to handle shit once the paper is out. I nearly forgot to tell you that your little tip to the Times is already on several tabloid websites. I have zero doubt that Grey will have Barney take them down for awhile, although he won't be able to do shit about the written print or a news source that picks it up online before the sites are fucked with." She says, lifting my spirits and placing a large smile on my face.

"I take that you have already read it online," I giggle. "What does it say?" I cannot excuse the giddiness from my voice. Christian and his cronies floundering as they try to uncover the source pleases me immensely.

Katherine laughs loudly. "Well, let's say that you're husband's head is going to blow off. It is not as if it is not the truth, because it all is, but Grey's boys will be scrambling for whoever let the word get out. Tell me that you blocked your number or used one of those burner phones when you called the Times. It will be bad news if you didn't."

Rolling my eyes once again, I wearily remind her that I am not a complete fucking idiot. "Really, Katherine? Ugh! Like I said, this conversation is over and I will call you soon. Goodbye and I love you."

"I love you, too, Steele."

Ending the call, I inhale deeply and make my way toward an uncomfortable conversation with my long time friend.

As expected, Luke is wide-awake. He is drinking coffee and watching some pre season football shit, but his eyes are on the stairwell before my foot hits the last step. He must have the ears of the Bionic Woman. Wearing a contrite expression, I head to the sofa he is slumped on and flop down beside him without saying anything. I am not sure who should apologize first, but knowing how much I owe this man, I decide to. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I take note that it is six o'clock and I am surprised I was on the phone with Kate for so long.

"Luke, listen… I am sorry for what I accused you of. I wasn't thinking rationally and spoke from a place of hurt feelings and a newfound sense of not trusting…" I begin to say before he interrupts me, shaking his head, and turning his body towards me.

"I should be the one apologizing, Ana," He breathes. "I have no excuse for not telling you other than I did not want to put more stress on you. I royally fucked up and I know it. I understand why you thought that way and do not take it personally. I just hope that you do not doubt my intentions or where my loyalty lies."

The sincerity in his voice and sadness I see in his eyes overwhelms me. I feel like a complete piece of shitty toilet paper and curse myself for allowing Christian's fucked up life cause me to lose trust in those close to me. I simply cannot allow that emotion or my recently consistent anger alienate other's. If there is one trace of Christian Grey left on me once this is all over, it will not turn me into an isolated and pathetic person stuck in a tower in the sky the way he is. I refuse to reduce myself to that level. I am better than that, I am better than Christian is.

"I am not blaming Gail for my abhorrent behavior, but just hearing the things she told me fucked with my head. On top of that, I was mystified at her attitude towards you. Just please accept my apology, Luke and believe me when I say that I do not actually believe you would sell me out. I am so sorry for those terrible things I said and I am so ashamed of myself. I just hope that in time you can forgive me." I softly murmur, acutely embarrassed and looking down at my hands. I am so nervous and guilt ridden over what Luke's response could surely be and my entire body is stiff with an unnamed emotion that leaves me confused.

Several tense moments pass before Luke puts me out of my misery.

"Ana, I cannot fathom any situation between the two of us that would leave me unable to forgive you. I promise that I understand your reaction to all of that shit and I do not hold it against you in the slightest bit. Like I told you before, I am the only one who should be asking for forgiveness and the hope that you will one day understand my stupid thinking," He says. "Please promise me that you can see what our friendship means to me and how happy I am that our lives intersected all those years ago."

Unsure if there is an underlying message behind his words, I raise my head and tentatively smile at him. Sometimes I wonder about the words that Luke says to me and his behavior is always unpredictable. I am always left confused and if I were to always ask myself why, I would no doubt go crazy. Luke places his cup of coffee on the end table and takes hold of both my hands into one of his large hands. His smile and eyes are kind as he offers my hands a soft and reassuring squeeze. I can feel his touch is a sign of encouragement and a promise of solidarity. Acknowledging the message that Luke is giving me, I offer him a similar smile and nod my head.

As I am about to ask him if we have buried this mess, my cell phone rings. It is Christian's ringtone. Luke and I exchange a knowing look; Christian has been told of the mess I purposely caused. Swallowing hard, I pick up my phone and Luke nods at me to answer it. I have no idea how this conversation with Christian will go; there is only one way to know.

"Christian?" I all but whisper, but still answer curtly. I want him to hear it in my voice that I am already aware of why he is calling. Christian obviously recognizes this and exhales deeply before speaking.

"Anastasia, did I wake you?" He asks.

"No Christian, you did not. I have been awake for awhile now." I reply. Just hearing his voice annoys me.

"I have something imperative to speak with you about. Are you somewhere private where we can speak freely?"

Standing up and beginning to pace the living room, I lie to him and say that I am alone in my bedroom. I cannot wait to hear the spin he puts on this story.

"Anastasia, some fucker has caused a pile of bullshit for us to deal with. Someone leaked to the press that we have been living apart," He states evenly. "We have no idea who…"

Deciding to interrupt him for the simple reason that he despises to be interrupted, I cut him off with a smart remark that I know will piss him off. "Christian, that's the truth. Obviously, I do not appreciate my private life being aired to the world, but at least this bit of gossip is the truth."

He has always hated facing the truth. Christian obviously throws something across the room as I hear it splinter into pieces. I imagine a red face full of rage, veins bulging from his neck, and Christian pulling at his hair. What pissed him off more? My interrupting him or pointing out the truth of the matter. I am positive that it is both of these. I may not have known the depth of his depravity and disregard for me, but I have known his idiosyncrasies and what can set him off.

"Yeah, Anastasia, it sure is the fucking truth since you refuse to allow me back in my own home! Whose fucking business is this shit other than ours? Are you not the least bit curious as to who leaked this shit? Doesn't it bother you that we will now be scrutinized by every fucking one?" Christian bellows and I hear something else break. I vaguely recall the Gail is no longer there to clean up his messes and wonder who will do it now.

Sighing, I choose to ignore every word that just flew from his mouth. I aim straight to the idea that another woman is the root of our separation. I grasp for the right words to say, as a child would dig for mud in order to make a mud pie to throw in some little asshole's eye. I realize that nothing I could say will hurt him, although I will take enraging him and finding a way to derive pleasure from that. Truly though, only digging a knife in Christian's back could really bring me pleasure.

"Why haven't you addressed what is being said about you having an affair, Christian?" I ask quietly, returning to the sofa and sitting beside Luke. "I would have preferred to know you were more concerned about that. A faithful husband would be desperate to ease their wife's mind over that bit of information and not the truthful fact that we are not living under the same roof.

Christian sighs so loudly that it feels as though he has touched me through the phone and his breath has brushed against my ear. I shudder at the thought of his touch. When he finally acknowledges what I have said, his tone is quiet and somewhat gentle.

"Mrs. Grey, you of all people should be acutely aware that I am more concerned about that fucking lie. Anastasia, I have never had an affair and I need for you to tell me that you believe that." Christian sounds as if he is actually pleading for me to believe him. I feel like I have been thrown to the floor by his statement.

Initially, his words and tone rattle my insides until I remember something. That first surreal and fucked up night at Escala, when he propositioned me to becoming his submissive, Christian called it a business arrangement. That is why he is telling me that he is not having an affair; Christian probably believes he is not. If he described being his sub is nothing more than a business arrangement, then I am positive that is still his opinion. It is a trade of material possessions for meaningless hard fucks and his sadistic needs of beating women. That does equal a business arrangement. Poor, poor, Christian and what must be his lonely soul.

"I wish that I could tell you that, Christian. I honestly wish I could, although if I did say it, I would be lying to both of us. Don't fool yourself by thinking I have not been blind to the change in you. A change that has surpassed the night of your birthday. I will not mention your behavior since you have been at Escala and the fact you only request my presence when it is needed for a public event. All of those things do more than hint of an affair, Christian."

Saying those words bring up an emotion that leaves me uncomfortable and angry. It takes but a moment until I realize that emotion is how I feel. The truth, discovering it, facing it, and admitting it fucking sucks the blood from your veins and leaves your body panting for hemoglobin to flood back into your body. I feel the prickling of tears at the back of my eyes and I shove them back.

"Are you serious?" He asks incredulously. "Do you truly mean that, Anastasia?"

Christian's response leaves me speechless. Well, not what he said, rather the way he said it, as if he honestly meant it. Christian has once again thrown me under a train and left me behind with mangled limbs. My mind staggers dumbfounded and wondering why he continues to do this me. What is he gaining from any of this shit? Is it for some sort of sick pleasure he gets from attempting to break me? Perhaps the man is just so fucked up he believes that he can do as he pleases and leave anyone in his destructive wake. But then again, I realize that Christian probably really does not consider these submissives as actual affairs.

Shaking my head in a desperate attempt of clearing these sickening questions from my brain, I suddenly take hold of Luke's hand and find that his eyes have never left my face. The anger he is emanating is palatable and I recognize his strength and how much I need it. This positive and protective nature Luke has for me is what allows those tears to fill my eyes.

"Anastasia, please answer me. Did you mean what you said?" He breathes. "Do you think so little of me?"

Christian has blown me away by asking me that and it drives me to place the call on speakerphone so Luke can hear this bullshit. He leans forward and places his elbows on his knees. The entire living room feels like it could explode at any second. I glare at the phone.

"Yes, Christian. I meant every word that I said. You have left me no room to feel any other way," My words spoken through gritted teeth. "If you loved me, a lot of things would be different, starting with how you have treated me."

Christian's attitude suddenly changes. "How the fuck have I treated you, Anastasia? Because the way I see it, you have been treated like a queen for several years now!" He yells at me and I see Luke's face harden.

"You've treated me like a queen? Are you serious, Christian? Let me throw out one example of how you humiliated me in front of not only your parents, but also your team of GEH employees! Do you recall that lovely night of your birthday? Huh? Hell, Christian, you treated me like shit on the bottom of your Italian custom made shoes…" My raised voice has brought Ray into the room and he looks as furious as Luke does.

"Oh, come on. Mrs. Grey, the only person who humiliated you was you. Having the nerve to come downstairs a drunken mess and embarrass me? Those men were not just GEH employees, they were a part of my legal team and I am sure that they now assume that I am married to a goddamn drunk! Not just a fucking drunk, but also a spoiled and ungrateful drunk! Fuck!" He is now screaming at me.

The shock on my face must look as deep as the carved out faces of the Presidents on Mount Rushmore. Ray is rubbing his face with his hands and I see Angela exit their bedroom and wrap her arms around his waist. Luke has not moved an inch.

"I was drunk because I had just discovered my supposed loving husband had been lying to me for years and was supporting his long time child molester," I say softly. "And give me one example of how I have ever been spoiled or ungrateful. Dig around in your fucked up mind and give me an example. I am dying to hear it."

"Really, Anastasia? You want the fucking numerous examples? How about the fact that I have showed you the world! On the other hand, could it be the fucking millions of dollars of jewelry that I have given you? The balance in our bank account? Is that enough? No… let me goddamn continue! What about the home I bought you and then fucking put in your name? Perhaps the company that you are the CEO of that has made you a goddamn millionaire! Every one of those examples as you called them, come down on you being married to me, Anastasia! You need to fucking consider what and where you would be if you had never met me! I doubt that it would be much!" He spits his venomous words at me.

I bend over at the waist and nearly fall off the sofa. If not for Luke, I would have hit the floor. Ray has rushed to us and tries to grab my phone, but Luke shakes his head no. Just when I thought that Christian Grey could not be any more vicious and cruel, I discover that I am wrong. Surely, minutes pass before I am able to respond and we all sit and listen to Christian. It sounds like he is breaking his surroundings apart. I find my strength lying in the mountain of disgust that I have for Christian.

"What would I be, Christian? I would be happy."

Maybe my retort was not what he was expecting from me and he says nothing. I just cannot sit here and take his abuse and insults. I refuse to take it any longer.

"You knew from the very beginning that I wasn't interested in your wealth. You bought the house on the Sound by lying to me that it was where we would raise our family. You lied about wanting a family and I know you never want one. As far as the house, I never asked you to put it in my name. As for the publishing house…you bought the damn place long before we even really knew one another, and do not doubt that I have always known you did it as a way to get to me. You looked at me as nothing more than your prey and you practically strong-armed me into becoming the CEO after you changed the name to Grey Publishing. I never aspired to running a company and you know it. If you consider me spoiled and ungrateful for forcing me to become the CEO of GP and the earnings I have, I will be happy to give you every cent of that money. Just promise me that you will shove it up your ass."

If Christian was breathing and growling into the phone any harder, he would hyperventilate. I am waiting to see if he addresses or concedes to every word of truth I have just reminded him of. He doesn't.

"I want you back in Seattle today. Get your shit ready and Luke will bring you straight to Grey House." He says.

Honestly not being able to stop myself, I break out in laughter.

"Why should I? So we can be seen publically, probably dining at an upscale restaurant. Then we can walk hand in hand tomorrow morning? Don't worry, Christian. This meaningless situation is nothing but a blip on the radar and no one really gives a fuck. Stop worrying about losing money over it and leave me the hell out of it. I am going to have to deal with my end of the bullshit and refuse to partner up with you to shine up your image."

"Goddamn you, Anastasia…"

Luke suddenly stands up and walks to Ray. They stare at one another in silence and I assume are sharing murderous thoughts.

"No, goddamn you, Christian. I will come back to Seattle when I damn well please. Oh, one other thing you should take seriously. If you do not call back your second goon that followed Luke to Ray's, my dad is going to go outside and shoot him in the ass. That, or call the police on him for trespassing. Goodbye, Christian."

Ending the call, the four of us stand in silence and stare at one another. I realize that Ray and Angela are shocked at the discovery of who Christian Grey truly is. To them, he was always courteous and polite and always demonstrated love and affection for me. Truth…truth is a slimy mold no one wants to swallow. I smile weakly at them, and head upstairs to my old bedroom and shut the door behind me. Tossing myself on the bed, I stare at the ceiling and remind myself that I am nothing Christian described me as. I know who I am. I know who Christian is. I know the truth.

Thirty minutes later, there is a knock on the door and I call out for them to come in. I have no desire to get up. Luke walks in, still looking pissed off and holding an iPad.

I crinkle up my face at the iPad and try to make this upcoming conversation light.

"Don't tell me you brought that up here to play Angry Birds?" I say, lightheartedly.

Luke's mouth twitches as he tries not to smile and he looks around my room. Against each wall is a packed bookshelf. He shakes his head and laughs.

"You were a book nerd your whole life, I see."

"I proudly admit that I was thank you very much," I reply, laughing with him. "What's with the iPad? You have got it for a reason."

"May I sit down?" He asks. I roll my eyes and nod at his ridiculous question.

"Are you okay? That was probably the most brutal verbal attack I have ever heard. I have been downstairs talking Ray out of going to kill Grey."

"Eh, am I okay? I guess so, although I will not lie or disagree that it was brutal. Shit, it was vicious. I know better though. Christian is purely a self-centered human being and I am nothing but a pawn in his life. That is his problem though, and not mine. Now, what's up with you and Steve Jobs?" I ask, pointing my chin to the iPad.

"Well, I am just going to lay this on the line. From the very beginning of this, I have been confused as to why you have focused your energy and anger on Mrs. Declan and Miss Sams. I kept from delving into your motivation because I did not want to upset you further. But Kate and I have both discussed something several times and wondered why you don't seem to care about the other three subs that Grey had." He says this carefully, as if he is afraid of how I will react once he has told me what I assume he is about to share with me.

"Go ahead, Luke. I promise that I will not turn into Linda Blair from The Exorcist this time," I say softly. "I am actually quite excited to see what that iPad is going to show me."

He looks relieved before he continues. "Remember you promised, Ana. That goes to Kate, as well." Whatever Frick and Frack have done, Luke seems genuinely amused by it. My expression tells him to hurry the fuck up and tell me.

"Kate kept asking me if you had ever elaborated on your intense focus on those two specific women and not the others. We know we have never had that conversation and I could not give Kate an answer, which as you can guess pissed her off. Fuck all this; I will get to what I know you want to hear. We took it upon ourselves to give Kennedy, Garner, and Lawson their just desserts. We all know Grey's preferred bank to use for his subs, so it was not hard for…Well, don't worry who gained accessed to their accounts," He pauses. "To put it simply, their accounts were drained of every cent the way Declan's was, and deposited into that dummy account created for you."

Luke looks at me warily and then swipes the iPad to open. He had already logged into my bogus account, hands me the iPad and I look at the balance. I whistle through my teeth and meet his eyes.

"Shit, Luke! That is a lot of money. When was this done?"

"Last night."

We do not say anything for a few seconds as I acclimate to this information and I suppose Luke is waiting if I am going to keep my promise of not spewing evil green vomit all over him. Finally breaking the silence, I engulf the silence with a fit of giggles.

"This is classic! What a fantastic idea, Luke! Was it yours or my dog with a bone best friend?" I am barely able to ask him through my laughter.

"I can proudly say that it was my idea, although it was Kate's idea to actually close their accounts after the money was taken out of them."

"Holy, fuck! Like I said, this is wonderful, but Luke, I really cannot explain why I became fixated on the other two. Maybe because Declan was first and Sams is the current one. Hell, I don't know." I reply.

Luke nods and I see that he understands what I am saying, and then he clears his throat, getting my full attention.

"There is a tad more to tell you," He chuckles. "I suppose I should not be laughing until I let you know what we came up with next."

"There is more? Can it top this shit?"

His answering grin has me bouncing on the bed like a four-year-old.

"How can I put this? Let me just say that the SPD is currently investigating the theft of three red Audi's."

Screaming loudly, I throw my arms around Luke and nearly knock him over. His lingering return hug does not go unnoticed. I pull away, gaping at what they did.

"You had their cars towed?" I ask.

He shakes his head, smiling.

"Ah…If you consider someone breaking into cars and stealing them as being towed away, I guess you could say that."

"Am I evil for enjoying this? I really think that I am. No…No I am not. Why should they enjoy that shit? If they were unaware of his marital status, I would see all of this in a different light. However, they did know and traded a moral conscious for monetary gain. Fuck them."

"Yup. Fuck them." Luke replies, mirth dancing in his eyes.

Our moment of reveling in causing trouble in the lives of Christian's whores ceases when Luke's phone rings. I know it is Taylor by the way Luke's jaw clenches.

"T, what's up?"

God, I hate listening to a one sided conversation. This one causes Luke to stand and go look out the window. I can see Luke's tension just by looking at his back, he has squared his shoulders, and his Deltoid's are taught, the fleeting appreciation of how attractive he is even from behind floats through my mind and I forget that I am trying to figure out what Luke is talking about with Taylor.

"She says no and that she is visiting her father." How friendly Luke can still be toward Taylor is amazing. He rubs the back of his neck and appears as if he is becoming agitated.

"T, short of throwing Mrs. Grey over my shoulder and stuffing her in the SUV, she will not be returning to Seattle today and I am pretty sure that Mr. Steele would shoot me if I tried to do that."

Taylor must be barking orders because the knuckles on the hand Luke has on his neck are turning white.

"I suggest that not occur. Mr. Steele has read several of the articles online and we had the misfortune of catching a clip of it on that morning gossip show. He is not a happy camper. No, Jason…Mr. Steele does not appear open to speaking with his son-in-law."

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at that understatement. Are those men out of their minds?

"I will talk to Mrs. Grey again, but do not expect a miracle. Oh, and another thing you need to handle. Call and tell Wilson to head back to Seattle. Well, for one thing, he is not needed and another reason is that Mr. Steele is threatening to either shoot him or call the police on him for trespassing. We both know that the boss would not want the attention of either of those occurrences."

My phone alerts me that I have a new text. It is Kate telling me that she is on her way to Montesano and saying that it will look highly unusual if she does not come to support her best friend as she would if this was not actually all made up. Her text and my reply have distracted me from Luke and Taylor's conversation and I do not realize that their call is over. Glancing up, Luke is staring at me and before I have the chance to barrage him with questions, my own phone rings. Son of a bitch. It's Carrick. I am so tongue tied that I cannot tell Luke who it is, so I show him the caller ID. He barely nods for me to answer.

I assumed it would be Grace that would call me. All morning…I waited for Grace to call me. Carrick calling unnerves me. Before the third ring, I take a huge gulp of air and exhale slowly. Fuck.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Ana…My dear Ana." He says softly.

"Hi, Carrick. How are you?"

"No…How are you? Katherine tells us that you went to Ray's last night," He states. "She told Grace that she is heading your way…I take that to mean that you…"

I inwardly groan at the question Carrick was about to ask. As much as it pains me, after Christian's cruelty over the telephone, I see no reason to allow any of this to linger on.

"Yes, Carrick," I sigh. "I have read it and I saw it on television."

He must not know how to respond, which I find strange considering Carrick is an attorney. The silence between us is heavy and burdened with questions. Questions that I will never answer truthfully. Christian is their child and should rightfully come before me, no matter what he has done. Yes, I love them and they love me; but I will not place a wedge between them. There is a very real chance that Christian will replace the wedge he had between them when I first met him; but that will be on his shoulders.

"Ana, we are mortified that your personal life has been made public. Grace is absolutely heartbroken, she has been since Christian is still living at Escala," He mutters through choked up words. "Yes, we all admit to wishing we knew the actual reason he hasn't returned home." He pauses. "I have never told Grace what I think that reason may be...although I will tell you that Elliot shares my opinion. Kate assures Elliot this is over that horrible woman and I am aware that as your best friend, she would not break your trust. But Ana, you sweet, sweet girl; forgive me for asking you this…"

Shaking my head as to clear away the reality that is my life, I remember something that Dr. Swann imparted upon me at our last session. "Ana, if you look at Christian and truly see nothing other than retribution, you have to put your actions in a bubble. You cannot allow any action seep out of the bubble and injure an innocent party. Think of your situation as walking a tightrope. One missed step will end up in disaster."

I am holding onto the phone with a trembling hand while Luke sits beside me clutching the other. Surely if I clench my eyes hard enough this will all cease to exist and I will return to that younger version of myself and ignored that fucking invitation to The Mile High Club. However, right this moment, I have to push through this conversation. Cards to the vest, sticking as close to the truth as possible. Stick with the same story and do not stray from it. Wash and repeat, Ana. Wash and repeat.

"Carrick, it is fine to ask and there is no reason for you to ask for forgiveness. Everyone wants to know why Christian and I are separated. I know that and I understand why. At each of our weekly lunches, I have seen Grace and Mia pleading with their eyes for me to explain. I know that Christian has not explained anything either. But that is neither here nor there and you want an answer concerning what these articles are insinuating…"

"Darling, they are more than insinuating that Christian is having an affair. To quote a source that claims they have witnessed my son entering and leaving Escala with a brunette woman that is not you are not an insinuation." He says.

There is that complicated question-or definition, rather. Affair. Earlier on the phone with Lucifer himself, I recognized the difference between an affair and what Christian described to me as a business arrangement. If I believe that Christian does not see his infidelities as affairs, then I can answer Carrick's question and not be a complete asshole liar.

"I don't know if Christian is having an affair, Carrick." I mutter and sigh deeply. "A love affair is not the reason Christian never came back home."

I have just told the truth.

"Ana, I know that we have told you numerous times what you mean to us. How grateful our family is that you brought Christian back to us. I am not going to meddle any further, I just want you to know how much we love you," He breathes into the phone. "Just remember that I never want to see you hurt, Ana, and that is even by my son."

Carrick's emotional confession leaves me unbalanced. Long past the point of being able to stop them, tears spring from my eyes. Weeping copiously, Luke squeezes my hand tighter, and I hear Carrick saying something to me, although I have no capacity to understand what it is. The queen of words cannot articulate a sentence, Carrick's voice is barely audible, and I am completely blinded by a rainstorm in my eyes. If this is how I exit the Grey family, I am not sure that I will survive.

"Dear girl, stop crying. Stop, now. Hush. Are you alone? You should not be alone right now." He says.

It takes a deep and calming breath, along with gazing at Luke to settle me down.

"No. Luke is here and my dad and Angela are downstairs. I am fine and Kate will be here later on. Please tell Grace not to worry and that I am all right. You and Grace go see and speak with Christian. I know that he needs you."

"Grace has spoken to him and was surprised by his reaction. I did not like how he spoke to his mother and went to Grey House to talk to my son face to face."

Now Carrick sounds angry and while I wonder what in the hell Christian did to earn his father's ire, I do not have the energy to ask or to even speculate. What could I say anyway? Oh, hey. Your son is a sociopathic fuck up who should probably seek psychiatric treatment and is not selfish spreading his venom to anyone who crosses his path. How could Grace and Carrick ever really come to grips with their son's blackened mind and not blame themselves? No parent could.

"I will let you keep that conversation private and not pry. Just tell everyone that I am fine and will probably stay and visit my dad for a few more days and when I get back to Seattle, I will come to Bellevue first thing. Okay? Don't worry, Carrick."

He sighs loudly and pauses before answering. Carrick is too astute to be blinded by my bullshit. His profession is to judge people by their behavior and their carefully chosen words. He does not believe one word I have said. Carrick sees right through me and we both know it.

"Ana, you aren't on a witness stand nor have you sworn under oath and I cannot cross examine you. In addition, I would never do that. Just know that you do not have to make a comment on what I am going to say, okay?"

I cannot keep from rudely sniffing snot over the telephone. "Yes."

"I know Christian. Before you and after you. I will not draw a map to when, how, or why, but I see the signs, Ana. I believe what they are writing is the truth and so does Elliot." He says quietly. "I know you will not answer me, and although I don't quite understand why not, I respect your decision. I also see the signs in you, the changes in you, the changes between you and my son. I will not ask you, Ana. But I know it is so."

With all of the strength I possess, I cannot manipulate it enough to tell him the truth. I know how easy it would be to confirm it all, yet I cannot say the words. I have yet to decide whom it is that I am protecting, the Grey's, or myself. Christian can fend for himself. Therefore, even if I cannot use words to admit anything, I can be a chicken shit and answer him with silence. And my silence is his answer-he hears it loud and clear.

"Alright, Ana. I will tell Grace and let us know when you are heading home. Kate left Ava for Grace to watch, but she is bringing the baby with her. Try to relax with her and everything will be fine. I will see to it, I promise."

What does that comment mean? Carrick will see to what? Why couldn't Christian be a normal man that does have an affair with another woman and I wouldn't have turned to clandestine behavior and have to speak in tongues to keep other people from seeing Christian as he is? Why couldn't I hate my in-laws so I could out Christian to the world? No, why could I have just never met him?

Friday, August 28th-Monday, August 31st, 2015

The weekend is spent in a relative cloud of calm. Taylor called Wilson back to Seattle leaving Luke on his own. Taylor and Christian must have taken Luke at his word when he said my dad was itching to shoot someone in the ass. Kate arrived with Emma Grace on Friday afternoon and the precious baby has been passed from one set of arms to the next. From long walks in the familiar woods surrounding my childhood home with Ray, to Kate offering to help cook dinner and the rest of us screaming "No!" whenever she brought it up. Christian never calls me back, although Taylor practically harasses Luke with constant questions over my actions and questions as to when I am returning to Seattle. The only private time that Kate, Luke, and I can carve out to discuss my current situation is when we make our way to the little pier over dad's private pond. While Kate receives a high five for her and Luke's clandestine actions, humor over knowing this is the home stretch remains absent. There is nothing to be happy about in this clusterfuck. Am I happier than I was back in April? Of course, I am. Do I breathe easier than I did in May? Sleep more than three hours a night in June? Laugh a lot less bitterly than in July? Yes. Yes. Yes. Now there is September. October. November. December...The rest of my life.

Dr. Swann shocks the hell out of me when she calls me early Saturday evening. While we have avoided turning on a television or reading a gossip loaded website, obviously Dr. Swann has not. I go sit on the front porch to answer her call, feeling four sets of eyes on my back and knowing they are all wondering who is calling me.

"Ana, how are you? I have not been able to escape hearing mention of your name and wanted to check on you. I have been concerned."

"Hello, Dr. Swann. Thank you for calling me. I am well, spending some time in Montesano at my dad's. Katherine is with me as well."

"I'm pleased to hear that you have surrounded yourself with a solid support system. Then again, I assumed that you had. Is your stay planned to be extended?" She asks. "I am sure you will not want to be hounded by the paparazzi like Mr. Grey is."

"No... Not extended. We are coming back to Seattle on Monday morning. My dad and Angela are also coming."

Classical music is softly floating behind Dr. Swann. She is probably at home. I remember that she told me she loved to play classical piano. The thought sours my stomach as I remember that Christian does as well.

"Hmmm. I am pleased, very pleased to hear that. Dare I ask if your mother has called you since your personal life is now on public display?"

I scoff at the mention of Carla. "Of course, not." I reply. "I never expected that to happen anyway. If she ever hears the words "lump settlement" she will probably call me, which contact would be for a hand out though."

"You don't believe she has any loving or motherly feelings for you whatsoever, Ana?" She asks me.

"Dr. Swann, you know the answer to that question and so do I."

"I assume that you will make your appointment this coming week, Ana? I'm sure you have a lot to talk about and will need to process."

She irritates the living fuck out of me, but Dr. Swann is one smart cookie. She knows this public onslaught is my doing. I cannot keep myself from sighing.

"Yes, I will be there, Dr. Swann. I look forward to it." I reply.

"Goodbye, Ana. Be gentle with yourself."

For whatever reason, kindness from others always brings tears that I have to swallow back.

"I will. Goodbye, Dr. Swann."

Continuing to feel my body sway back and forth on the front porch swing, I mentally go through the rolodex of the upcoming days and weeks. I recall how flawlessly Luke cared for me inside the parking garage at Escala, although I refuse to allow my thoughts to drift back to those initial days of darkness and pain. I look to that day ahead of me. What does Kate refer to it as? Yes, a day of shock and awe. I prefer the day of reckoning.

Monday, August 31st, 2015

Emma Grace's car seat in nestled between Kate and me in the back of the Audi SUV that is being commandeered by Luke. Jiggling her keys in front of her, feeling Kate's steady gaze on my face, I glance out the window and notice we are entering into Thurston County. Luke called Tom to pick up Ray and Angela and they are following us as we make our way back to Seattle in Kate's Mercedes. Kate had a mascara disaster and pushed our departure back by nearly an hour. It is mornings like these that I remember living with her and having to put up with Kate's daily drama and being grateful that she is now in Elliot's hands.

I finally let Kate get her way and meet her steady gaze. Her eyebrows are raised and her emerald eyes are doing that creepy thing that has freaked me out since I was eighteen-years-old.

"What is it, Kate?"

"It is exactly ten o'clock in the morning and I want to know why you haven't made use of your cellular device to call the law firm of Darlington, Kendall, and Colter." She replies. "You have to call now if you are going to tell…"

"Katherine, I know and for your information, I was moments from doing so. I have a million things on my mind right now and I was trying to distract myself by being a key rattler and your daughter seemed to be enjoying it."

My attempt to sound snarky failed miserably, the proof being Luke's laughter from the front seat.

Kate takes a deep breath and takes hold of my hand, squeezing it tightly. She has the tiniest of smiles on her lips, but while I know it is from pure and honest caring, it is also from sympathy, which pisses me off. I need sugar for my coffee and milk for my tea, but keep your sympathy to yourself. I do not want it, need it, nor do I care for it. I don't give a shit who you are or how much I may love you.

I shake my head at her in reproach. She knows me, hell, she fucking knows me too well. Kate knows how I am about being made to feel like a charity case. I did not want to borrow her short dresses to wear to bars in college, she pushed them on me, and now I do not want a smile of sympathetic pity. I should not have to sit here and remind her of the fundamental bones of my being.

"Don't." I say. I sound harsher than intended.

"I am not doing what I know you think I am," She whispers. "I just do not know what to do for you. It is not a sense of not knowing how to help you ass rape Grey. It is that I do not know how to help heal your heart. I am lost when it comes to doing that. I feel helpless."

The fact that Kate is now crying adds another emotion to my annoyance. Guilt. Guilt that she cares so much for me that she is actually hurting in her own way as I am in mine. Shouldn't I feel warm and fuzzy about that? Fucking hell. What do I know anymore? What do any of us know anymore? We know that Christian is a horrible person. We know that Taylor is dog shit on my shoe and left Gail devastated. We know that Katherine has been lying to Elliot since April. Kate and I know that Luke never stops acting like a weirdo. We know that Elena Lincoln molested Christian for six years and is now serving twenty years in prison. We know that Carrick and Grace know about it and now we know our entire family wants answers about Christian and me. Then you have me; getting wrapped up with an old boyfriend who fucked me in the ass when we were in college. What in the hell is going on? What in the hell has happened? Oh, yes. Christian Grey happened.

"Don't cry, Kate. We have cried enough to last five lifetimes and it is time that we stopped. Promise that you know that I am fine...did you hear me? I am fine and will only get better. The only thing you have to do is be here for me. Just grab my elbow if my legs wobble or fucking tell me I have snot running down my face. That is all that I need. Kate, all I need is you."

Tears are running down our cheeks and our connected eyes are open and honest. Blue beseeches green to believe them and they do. Whatever fucked up bullshit that just went down passes by and our expressions are full of resolve. Kate says nothing and that is the answer that I needed.

Taking out my cellular device as Kate referred to it, I search my contacts for Allison Kendall's direct office number. We have not spoken for over a week and when we did, she was not exactly happy with my lack of action. Allison spoke plainly when she replayed Bee Darlington's chagrin on the matter. Needless to say, they both saw my sudden vacillation as outright mutiny on their instructions. I had patiently listened to their advice and recommendations, but I told them from the beginning that this was ultimately my decision and they had reluctantly agreed.

"Allison Kendall, speaking,"

"Good morning, Allison. This is Ana Grey. How are you?"

Katherine surprises me. She would usually hang on to every word I say while I am on the phone. This time she is looking everywhere but at me and playing with Emma Grace.

"Hello, Ana. I am well and shouldn't I be asking how you are? So how are you?" She asks.

I cannot control laughing at her. Allison knows better than to ask that question.

"Good...I am good. I am on my way back to Seattle. I spent a few days at my dad's. Kate came down on Friday and we had a quiet weekend," I reply. "Ray and Angela are coming to Seattle with me."

"Well, from what is going on up in Seattle, don't expect anything to be quiet. Have you been following any of that shit?"

"There hasn't been a need to," I snort. "I did catch a bit on TV. and read a few online stories. Not to mention an unpleasant phone conversation with Christian."

"He called you? I'm sure it was Friday morning when the story came out." She replies.

"Yes, he called to order me back to Seattle. Seems he wanted us to walk hand in hand through downtown Seattle. I refused, and he turned into Satan, actually admitting what he thought of me. He informed me I would be nothing if not for him."

Allison sighs deeply, remaining silent and I hear the wheels in her head spinning.

"That bad, huh? What a sweetheart." Allison murmurs. "Ana, you know what he said isn't true, right?"

Of course, I do. Did Christian's truthful opinions about me hurt? I would be a liar if I said that they did not. Who in the hell wouldn't they have hurt? Hurt. Strike back. Strike back. Hurt. Hurt. Strike back. The dust clears and we find out who is left standing.

"I know, Allison. I didn't let it throw me for a loop for too long, but I had to shake it off. I was actually grateful to hear it. Knowledge is power, isn't it?" I ask quietly.

Kate finally turns her head to look at me with blazing emerald eyes. I assume being reminded of Christian's words has incensed her all over again.

"Naturally...now this is not a social call or you wouldn't have called me at work. Tell me where we are at," She says. "I need that powerful knowledge of yours."

"It's time."

Kate grabs my hand in a death grip. Emma Grace is in an innocent and deep sleep that I am jealous of. Luke glances at me in the rearview mirror.

"Alright. I have questions first. Did you reconsider and do what Bee and I suggested?"

"No."

My life. My choice. My final decision. No explanation required. No explanation given. Allison does not react.

"Okay, we have what you provided. You will have the rest, I trust. She asks.

"Yes. Copies will be provided before hand, although the final information will be handed over on the day of." My voice is strong, like the CEO I am. Not the one Christian Grey says he fucking allowed me to be. "The deed?"

"Don't worry about that. That is completely insignificant. We will have it filed in King County the day before we all meet. I seriously doubt that Grey has someone standing in the courthouse waiting to discover if the property's ownership has changed. We will have the actual legal document showing that you own it that day." She replies.

I nod my head as though Allison can see me.

"This is nothing important; I'm just sharing it since I know you'll get a kick out of it. Three other bank accounts have had funds emptied and transferred, along with three Audi's that have been relocated."

Allison bursts into laughter. Kate smiles proudly. She must be able to hear Allison through the phone.

"No, shit? You know I always wondered your lack of interest when it came to them." She says.

Again, as if she can see through the phone, I shrug my shoulders. Shit, everyone was puzzled by that.

"Who knows, Allison? Blame it on initial shock or being too lazy to go to the trouble. This action was courtesy of Kate and Luke. I was oblivious."

Luke is chuckling, Kate reaches over the car seat and kisses me, but I am worried I missed something to say or ask Allison.

"It is time for the do or die question, Ana."

Oh, yes. That is what I had forgotten.

"Tomorrow."

Seattle, Washington

The drive is relatively silent. Ray chose to ride shotgun and I assume his decision was to hold his emotions in check and sitting beside me would make that harder than it already is. Angela has held my hand the entire way and as we move further down the I-405, her grip increases. I have not averted my eyes from the back of Luke's head.

Kate and Emma Grace reclaimed her Mercedes once we were back in Seattle. I slid into her backseat and we had a long and emotional conversation that culminated with her calling Carrick to assemble the entire family sans Christian. Kate told me that Carrick inhaled deeply when she asked that the family not mention the gathering to his middle child. Carrick told her to reassure me of their love, in other words; he knew. Luke and Tom had decided to trade vehicles inside a parking garage where another of my goons for hire, Samuel, picked Tom up. Maybe it was because we were in a parking garage, but inside Kate's car, I found myself re calling that day at Escala. Why Kate wept as I retold the devastating details and I spoke in a monotone voice will forever be a mystery. I had a stupid feeling that this nightmare began in a parking garage and it is ending in a parking garage. The only good thing that may end after the disaster that is Christian Grey will be my relationship with two people I consider as parents, and two people that I consider as siblings. If I am lucky, perhaps they will understand. If I am not, hopefully I will have left them a handful of good memories.

I had reserved the Cascade Suite at the Fairmont under Ray's name. It is huge and has plenty of room for all of us. I know that hiding from the paps or any press will be futile, but I am going to do my best to stay in the shadows of Seattle. Any contact with Christian, whether it be accidental or not is another thing I will avoid like the plague. I will be damned if he sticks another security dog on my ass. If that fuck up happens to occur, Luke will know immediately, since two of my own have been trailing us since we entered the Seattle city limits.

Not giving a shit about my appearance, I did not bother changing clothes and I am still wearing an old WSUV sweatshirt that had been Riley's, jeans, and a pair of black Chucks. I look nothing like a woman who should be entering a mansion in Bellevue. Wanting to puke, cry, and slit Christian Grey's throat, I gaze at the home of Carrick and Grace as Luke pulls into the driveway. It appears as every light in the house is on and I notice that someone has turned on the front porch light, possibly for me, and if so, it would have been Grace.

No, tears. Yes, tears. Of course, tears.

As the norm, Grace and Carrick are standing in the doorway to greet us. At first glance, the smile on their faces appear genuinely happy, but the closer I get to them, I can see that they are telling me to relax. Wrapping me in a warm hug, Grace strokes the back of my head and I nearly break down. Then I am in the gentle arms of my father-in-law who whispers that everything will turn out fine. There is no doubt as to why Carrick is such a well-respected attorney. In his own subtle way, he has once again told me that he knows why we are here. After they greet my dad and Angela, we follow Grace and Carrick into the family room where Elliot, Kate, and Mia are gathered.

Angela and I sit on a sofa beside Kate. I have somehow ended up between them and I have a feeling it was intentional. Grace sinks into her favorite wing back chair that directly faces us and Mia is in the floor playing with Emma Grace. She got up and hugged each of us before returning her attention to the baby. It is obvious Mia does not have the slightest bit of curiosity as to why we are here, and has not asked why Christian is not. Ray and Carrick have poured themselves a drink and remain at the wet bar. Elliot is standing near the patio doors and is holding Ava. We are all looking everywhere but at each other. The only sounds are coming from Ava and the baby. Grace finally breaks the silence. It is only now that I notice her red-rimmed eyes.

"I won't ask if you all enjoyed your weekend. Kate told me it was wonderful. Angela, she raved about your cooking. I think she was trying to make me jealous." She says jokingly.

Uncomfortable laughter wafts through the room and Angela indulges Grace with chit chat over recipes. Through the corner of my eye, I see Elliot looking at me the way he has every time we have been around each other these past weeks. Suspicious and curious. Mainly suspicious. I am not surprised though, Carrick did tell me that Elliot shared his opinion about Christian. Assuming his expression means that he will be the one to address the elephant in the room, I am shocked at who finally does.

"I want to thank you for allowing us to speak to you as a family and I appreciate your understanding why Annie needed us to come along." Ray says; his tone is steady and calm.

"Absolutely, Ray. We adore your Ana, and think of you and Angela as family as well. Never feel the need to thank us for anything," Carrick replies. "We're thrilled to see you."

Watching Grace, I see something my dad or Carrick said lit a spark in her mind. She glances back at them and then slowly turns her attention my way. Of course, Grace knew about the articles and television gossip. She knows that Christian still lives at Escala. Although, I have just witnessed Grace's mind drift to what she probably thought were mere rumors of her youngest son having an affair. I can see that Grace is now wondering if those supposed rumors are why we are here. I think the penny just dropped and is rolling around the floor.

"Ana, dear. We are all so very sorry about this public…" Grace begins.

Shaking my head, I smile at her, but within seconds, my eyes are filling with tears. She makes the short distance between us and grabs me fiercely.

"I know it's a mess right now and will take a few weeks to go away, but we all know how things like this are. They are front page one day and gone the next. It is going to be all right, Ana. Do not cry, sweet girl. Hush now."

Although, when pulling away, Grace studies my face, eyes searching for something. What? A clue? A hint? The truth?

"Gracie, sit back down, dear. Ana is good. Let's not upset her further," Carrick says. "There is no need for that, darling."

Grace sits back down, but her initial confusion morphs into rebelling against what Carrick said to her. Everyone in this goddamn room, minus Mia, know something is amiss, whether it be my name being drug through the mud or truth over Christian and his supposed mystery affair. There is that word again-affair. What a fucking joke.

"I agree, Carrick. I would never upset Ana. I am also many things, but stupid or deaf is neither of them. I heard something off in your voice and in Ray's, now I want to hear what that something was. I also want to know why my daughter-in-law looks torn to bits," She utters. "Not to mention a family meeting was requested and we are missing one member of our family."

Grace is standing and has turned around to face her husband and my father. Ray's eyes never leave mine, as though he is telling me to stay strong, or at least to not fall over into Kate's lap. Carrick is accepting Grace's stern and demanding words and attitude, although he has not opened his mouth. Is he waiting on me to say it? Of course, he must be. They all are waiting on me to say it. Now that this moment has finally arrived, can I actually say it?

Evidently, Mia's mind has left the Emma Grace zone. When her mother mentioned that a family member was absent, she finally sat up Indian style and is gazing around the room as if she just now noticed what was going on. Or rather, what is not going on.

Carrick maneuvers his way to stand in front of his wife, placing a hand on both of her shoulders. For some odd reason, I remember that he was just holding a drink. Looking to the wet bar, I see that his glass is empty. Yes, Carrick, this moment does call for slamming back bourbon.

Carrick is about to speak, when all of a sudden Mia decides to join the party, annoyingly so.

"Yeah, where is Christian? I was wondering that a minute ago when I saw Ana. Where is he, Ana? I cannot even get him to answer my calls or return my texts. What's up with that, anyway?" She asks.

It is now Mia's turn to look at me strangely, but she shrugs her shoulders when no one answers her and then enters the Mia zone.

"You look cute, Ana! Just like a college student. Is that your old sweatshirt from WSUV? I would have lost mine years ago. Are those Chucks new…?"

"MIA! Be quiet!" Elliot bellows, making everyone jump.

Kate quickly grabs my hand, which I take as an ominous sign. Kate has dodged Elliot's questions since Christian's birthday, and from the way she is gripping my fingers, she believes that her husband is about to start demanding answers.

"Elliot Grey, I never want to hear you yell at your sister again, much less while you are holding your daughter! Now apologize to Mia this instant!" Grace says.

Elliot is shaking his head, his face flushed and he is walking further into the family room.

"I apologize, Mia. It won't happen again."

His sister just blows it off. However, I do not care about sibling bullshit right now. I am strategically looking in my lap so my hair covers the sides of my face. After all, if you cannot see them, then they cannot see you. Despite ducking beneath my long and dark tresses, I know that Elliot is walking to me and before I have time to look up, he has knelt down between my legs. The questions linger in his eyes, although his face is kind and he is giving me a half-hearted version of that mega watt Elliot Grey grin. All eyes have focused on us, and Carrick, along with Ray, have moved closely behind Elliot. Not because I might need protecting from Elliot, but for my possible melt down.

"Ana Banana, I want to say a few things to you, to remind you that we love you and you are family. You are my second sister, half of the reason I met Kate, and the Godmother to my daughter. I love you and I always will. There is nothing or anyone on the planet who could replace you. Do you believe that?" He asks softly.

Do I believe it? I know that I want to believe it. Kate tells me to believe it. Carrick tells me to believe it. Nevertheless, do I believe it? I look in Elliot's eyes and finally see the truth.

"Yes, El. I believe that."

Vaguely, I realize Elliot's hand has replaced Katherine's. He uses his other hand to push my hair behind my ears in a move that is so reminiscent of his younger brother. Elliot smiles at me; clearly trying to urge me to say what he knows. I stay quiet, so he changes tactics.

"When was the last time you spoke to your husband?" He asks.

"Elliot, seriously? Is that any of our business? Ana, don't answer him." Kate says.

Elliot pays her no heed. His question has left me reeling with questions of my own. Where did this question arise from and what is he attempting to derive from it? Oh, what the hell. Answer them honestly, Ana. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs that will never lead anywhere. Christian has been shutting them all out since Friday, why would they assume he was treating me any different? My, God. We do not even live together.

"Friday morning."

Grace gasps loudly, Mia's eyebrows shoot to her forehead and everyone else's posture has become ramrod straight. It is Elliot whose eyes are burning with anger.

"He's ignoring me as well, but not speaking to you is...confusing. What did the two of you talk about on Friday?"

"Jesus Christ, Elliot! When did you go to law school? Quit interrogating her and let her be. Look at Ana; does she appear eager to share personal information at the moment?" Carrick shouts.

Raising my eyes to meet Carrick's, I shake my head slightly to let him know that I am all right.

"Honestly? Christian ordered me to come back to Seattle."

"Ordered you?" Mia murmurs quietly. "Do you mean that he asked you after that story came out?"

Shaking my head that feels too heavy for my shoulders, I sigh. "No, Mia. It was an order."

Elliot tugs on my hand to regain my attention. The room is thick with frustration and apprehension and I can barely catch my breath. Looking at my mother-in-law, both of her hands are covering her mouth, and she appears on the verge of tears.

"Remember what I just told you, Ana, and that you said you knew you would always be our family?

I merely nod my ten-ton head.

"Then listen to something that I have never thanked you for. I never had a relationship with Christian, not even as kids, until he met you. Something you did changed him for the better. Christian did not have a relationship with anyone else in this family either, and you changed that as well. This family owes you. We owe you a hell of a lot. Now let us pay you back. Let us help you." Elliot pleads.

However, unbearable pain from an unknown source lances through me and the dam explodes. I am blinded by a flood of tears and my chest is heaving so hard I feel as if I am about to hyperventilate. Cognizant thought has abandoned me, as I collapse into or onto someone, I am not sure which. Voices are coming from every direction. My wailing must wake Emma Grace, I hear her shrieking, and then someone must have taken her from the room, as her cries grow fainter. Someone is calling for a paper bag, I feel fingers checking my pulse, and dizziness is sweeping me away. From a place I thought was long removed, I hear my own voice yelling something. Something that silences the talking, the panic, and the noise. Now I begin to pain, which spurs on whatever attack I seem to be having. I try, try, try to stop. From taking in gulps of air that make it worse to attempting to control my rapid breathing, nothing helps.

The room is once again a mass of voices, speaking at the same time. Arguing this, pointing out that. Female voices telling another to go get something, male voices castigating Elliot for what he caused. So many voices from faces I cannot visualize due to my copious weeping. The torrent of tears that are heavy, as though they are a liquid torrent of heavy blood. They are desperate to help me, but they are actually nothing more than additional weight on top of me. The weight of other people's expectations, their feelings, their reputations, and their good names. Who bears the weight of my expectations, my feelings, my reputation, my good name? Where is Kate? Where is Luke? Ray?

Then… a pushed up sleeve and a pin prick.

The lap that I am laying on is Ray's. His large and kind hand is rubbing my forehead and he is murmuring something in a comforting tone. I do not have to open my eyes to know where I am, or discover that I lost my shit in what was probably a nervous breakdown and Grace had to sedate me. There are others around us. I can smell Kate's perfume and I hear her nervously and rapidly talking to Angela. Kate is also softly crying. I was screaming, wailing, practically keening, and acting like a goddamn fool, and now Kate is crying. Why is she crying? My lunacy is probably the reason behind her tears.

Prying my eyelids open, looking up at my dad, I scrunch my forehead together. I raise my head up and see that I am in a guest bedroom on the first floor. Struggling to sit up, I fight Ray when he tells me that I should lie back down, as usual, I do not listen, and he finally helps me sit upright. My head spins from whatever Grace shot me up with, but I am aware of my surroundings and I am coherent. After I wipe both my eyes, I look around the room until my eyes land on Kate. I notice several things that are out of place, along with being quite disturbing.

Kate watches as I take in her appearance. She has obviously been crying; crying quite hard. Both of her eyes are swollen and her makeup is non-existent. It is when my eyes focus on her white tee shirt that I automatically attempt to stand. Ray grabs me by the waist to stay seated and Kate is crying on Angela's shoulder. What is all over Kate's white tee shirt? There is blood smeared all over it. Why is there blood all over Kate's white tee shirt?

"What's happened? Kate, are you hurt? Daddy?" I ask them.

For what seems like my entire life, the three of them do not answer me and I impatiently ask again. Kate turns her head fractionally and looks at me, her eyes are so sad.

"I'm not hurt, Ana. I'm not hurt." She whispers.

I force the cobwebs from my head and everything is much clearer. Well, everything except the reason Kate's shirt has blood on it.

"Then how did you get blood on your shirt? Did I accidentally hurt you?"

Kate rushes to me, enveloping me in a hug. I take note that the blood on her tee shirt is bright red and a bit wet- it is fresh.

"No, Ana Banana! You silly little thing. You didn't hurt anyone, you were upset and when we couldn't calm you down, Grace had to give you some medicine, and you went to sleep"

"Oh. That is what I figured. It is how I feel, too." I reply, my eyes still looking at her in confusion.

Due to the guest room's close proximity to the family room, I assume that the others heard us talking, and that is why someone is knocking on the door. For some reason, I watch Ray, Kate, and Angela freeze. I wait for one of them to tell whoever is on the other side of the door to come in and more importantly, to quit acting so fucking strangely.

"It is fine, come in." Angela says.

My back is to the door and it sounds as if more than one person has entered the room. I turn my groggy head to the right and see Mia, in tears, and Carrick, who looks furious enough to commit murder. What in the hell did I do while on the fringe of madness? Swallowing nervously, I blink rapidly and await my verbal lashing, until Mia rushes crying, muttering, "I'm so sorry" and me Before I can ask what is going on, she is on the floor in front of me with her head on one of my knees, still crying. Mia keeps shaking her head and muttering, "I cannot believe he did it. I just cannot! Oh, Ana! I'm so sorry!" My eyes dart from Kate and Angela to the top of Mia's head, and I still have no clue as to what in the hell is going on. Perhaps my own out of control crying fit was contagious.

I look to Carrick for answers and he bends down to his daughter, whispering something to her. Given a few minutes, Mia stands up, stares at me, and then engulfs me in her arms, before wordlessly leaving the room. Now there were four. Well, five counting me.

"Ray, what do you want to do?" Carrick asks. His voice is gruff and quite hoarse.

Ray does not answer my father-in-law; instead, he gets off the bed, picks me up, and makes me lie back down.

"Well, I think whatever we do that without a doubt that Kate should be present."

I look at my best friend's expression and realize that whatever has happened is really bad. As in, someone is fucked badly.

"I would never leave Ana. Of course, I'll stay." Kate replies.

Angela quickly excuses herself and shuts the door behind her. Before I can blink, Kate is sitting to my right, Ray on my left, and Carrick is on the foot of the bed.

Ray and Carrick sigh at the same moment, but I cannot take my eyes off Kate's tee shirt.

"Ana, do you remember anything from earlier tonight?" Carrick asks.

"Yes. I am not clear why I freaked out, but I remember feeling as if I got a shot and then I woke up in here. Why? What's wrong?"

"Annie, Grace did sedate you. You were hysterical baby girl, and having a hard time catching your breath. When you started getting sleepy we brought you in here to rest."

The three of them keep looking at one another; it appears they are unsure who should speak next or what they should tell me. They have past the point of driving me insane.

"Ana, do you remember when Elliot was talking to you, right before you got so upset?" I guess they decided with their eyes that it was Kate's turn to talk.

Rolling my eyes at her, I nod yes. Kate swallows nervously before she speaks again, but the only thing I want to hear is why she has goddamn blood on her shirt and why in the hell hasn't Mia given her another one to wear. Kate can barely take it when Emma Grace spits up on her and she changes her shirt within seconds. Yet her she is, covered in freaking blood and appearing to be fine with it.

"Kate, just tell her what happened up until he left and then I'll tell her the rest." Carrick sounds so sad.

"Banana, you got upset when Elliot was talking to you. We all panicked because we didn't know what to do, and you were fighting all of us. At first you were trying to say something, but you were crying too hard to say it," Kate whispers. "But that's when you screamed out why...That's when you told everybody what is going on, why you wanted to come here. You yelled that you were divorcing Christian and he was going to be served with the divorce papers tomorrow."

Holy mother of God. I hope to fuck that is all I said. I cannot decide if I am currently in The Twilight Zone or Hell.

"After you said that, everyone got really afraid for you. I nearly called 911. Then Elliot just went postal and was screaming and demanding answers from Ray, Carrick, and me. When we could not tell him anything that satisfied him, he just lost it. Just completely lost control, your dad, and Carrick could not get him to calm down. I even went outside and got Sawyer, who eventually calmed him down."

I suddenly become afraid. I stop wondering what else I could have said, and nearly panic that Elliot is hurt and that is why Kate looks like a stuck pig.

"Is Elliot hurt? Oh, my God! Is he, Kate?"

"No, my banana! Elliot is not hurt. He was so torn up by what you said, and along with what Elliot has been suspecting...about Christian, that is. Oh, where was I? Okay, anyway, Elliot took the fact that you are divorcing Christian as confirmation about his suspicions. At first, he looked like he was calming down and started talking about taking you to the hospital. Then Elliot took his phone out and called his brother and Christian rejected the call, and that is when he lost it again. But this time there was no stopping him."

I do not like where this is going.

"Stopping him from doing what exactly?" I ask quietly.

"We tried to stop him from leaving. Elliot stormed out of the house, fought past Sawyer, and sped away in his truck." She replies.

I look at each of them, inclined towards hurting them all if they do not just fucking tell me everything all at once. Holding up my hand, I motion for Kate to stop speaking.

"Before any of you tell me the rest of this story, why does Kate have blood of her shirt?"

"Honey, I got blood on my shirt when Elliot came back. He had blood on him and thinking he had been in an accident, I ran to him and grabbed him around the neck, holding him to me. That's why there is blood on my shirt."

"Why haven't you changed shirts?"

Kate snorts at my ridiculous question and I glare at her.

"Because that is the last of our worries." She replies.

"Jesus. Someone get to the point, please. If Elliot did not get into an accident, then why was he bleeding?"

"Ana, Elliot wasn't bleeding. It is not his blood on Katherine's shirt. It is Christian's." Ray says.

My mouth drops open and I close it, doing this several times. Ray's voice has been wiped clean of any emotion and his face is a blank canvas. Christian's blood? Holy fuck. Elliot and Christian must have fought one another.

"Christian's blood? You're telling me that Elliot got into a fight with Christian?" I ask.

"Ana, the term fighting is not fitting of what happened." Carrick replies.

"But…"

"There are no but about it, Ana. Elliot went to the penthouse and certain things...occurred. It is time for the men to leave the room. Kate can fill you in with the exact details. They are delicate and neither your father nor I feel particularly comfortable being around while you are told. We were not comfortable when Elliot told us either. We are all in the family room if you need us. Ana?"

"Yes, Carrick?"

"We love you. I love you as my own. In addition, it is as I told you Saturday, it will be okay. I will see to it."

"I love you, too, Carrick. I love you, all. So much."

Once we are alone, Kate drops horizontally on top of my legs, her body completely limp, and face down. It is my turn to comfort her, so I play with her long blonde hair like I used to in college. It never failed to soothe her.

"Don't raise up, I know whatever happened has sucked the life out of you. Just tell me straight up. Don't skip anything to spare a feeling you think I might have left." I say.

Kate listens, remaining in my lap, sighing deeply while I run my fingers through her hair.

"Ana, it's bad. As in-mother fucking bad."

"Yeah, I gathered that already, Kate. Tell me what happened."

Kate turns her head and we face each other. Her eyes are dry now and I am tempted to order her to remove that tee shirt. It is Christian's blood after all, and despite my first HIV and Hepatitis C tests being negative, I still would not want his blood touching me.

"Elliot went to the penthouse to confront Christian and ask why he was avoiding everyone. Miraculously, and I think as a favor from God to you, security was not waiting at the elevator. So Elliot walked in the apartment without Grey having a head's up. He said he did not call out for Christian to give him any warning and just walked around looking for him. Finally, some goon called Wilson came out of his cave, but knew Elliot and didn't announce to Grey that he had company."

I run my fingers through my hair and groan. "Why do I have a feeling this isn't going to sound pretty?"

"Sound pretty? You should have seen my husband. It didn't look pretty either."

"Okay, I've been assured that Elliot isn't hurt, so now I am assuming that he stomped a mud hole in Christian's ass."

"Well, you're about to get a vivid description of other shit besides Christian getting his ass handed to him."

"Kate." I warn her.

"Here goes. This goon Wilson directs Elliot to Grey's study and Elliot stood there trying to calm himself down before opening the door. He said at first he didn't think Christian was in there because it was so quiet, but decided to look anyway," Kate says softly, looking at me. "He opened the door and saw his married brother sitting in the chair behind his desk getting sucked off by some naked brunette chick."

I shoot straight up, causing Kate to yelp in protest.

"Whoa... Wait! This is Monday, not the weekend. Christian has gone off the reservation of his usual contracts. He must really like Miss Sams to have a contract amended like this!" I screech.

"Yeah, well, who cares? There is much more interesting aspects to this tale of woe. Christian's chair is facing away from the door and never sees or hears Elliot enter the room. Elliot walked straight to the desk and your disgusting piece of shit almost ex husband was too preoccupied to even notice. He said that the woman, or as we know her, Miss Sams, saw him and her eyes widened even though she was still blowing Grey. I cannot figure out how she kept from biting Grey's cock off from the shock of Elliot's surprise visit. Anyway, without saying a word, Elliot picked up Christian's laptop and sent it sailing into a wall. Needless to say, that got Christian's attention and he was far from pleased. Elliot started screaming at Christian about what a bastard he is and before Christian could get a word out; Elliot wrapped an arm around Grey's neck and literally pulled him across his desk,"

"Son of a bitch," I whisper.

"Tell me about it."

"What did Christian do then?"

"Well, you know Christian is pretty tough, so he started trying to get out of Elliot's grip and fight back, but Elliot finally had him in his face, and well, Elliot started beating the ever living fuck out of him. From the way Elliot described it, it was a complete beat down. Christian never got a lick in. However, before Elliot told us anything else, he started going on and on about the weird slut, Elliot's words, not mine. He kept saying how strange it was. Elliot went on and on that after Christian's cock was pulled out of her mouth, she kneeled there with her head down and never moved. Total sub mode, of course, but Elliot is so confused that she did not yell for help or even attempt to help Christian,"

"She knew better."

"Then Elliot said that before he had beat Christian silly, that his brother was doing his best to sound stern and cold to her and ordered her to her room. Elliot said that Miss Sams went running from Christian's study stark ass naked."

"Freaks."

"Elliot said he might have broken Christian's nose and he heard a popping noise when he was kicking him." She says.

"Elliot was kicking him? Did he get Christian to the ground?"

"Fuck yes. Christian ended up trying to protect himself by getting in the fetal position and then Elliot started kicking him. The worst part is that Elliot was still wearing his work boots."

"Mother fucking fucker!"

"I guess at some point, security heard the brawl and two guys ran in to rescue Grey. You know Elliot, if someone tries to fuck with him, he goes bat shit crazy, so one guy goes to help Grey and the other goes to grab Elliot and then they start fighting. The goon got one shot in and then Elliot laid him out."

"Did the guy hurt Elliot?"

"Nah, he punched him in the jaw. It is starting to bruise but Grace checked him out and said it was not broken."

"That is just…crazy."

"I know, right! Elliot said the entire time he was hitting and kicking Christian he kept screaming, "This one is for Ana." and "How could you do this to Ana?" I do not think any of this is funny in the least, but Elliot keeps going on about Miss Sams and the sub behavior that he does not know about, and I find it so amusing. However, I am afraid that Elliot will tell someone about the way Christian and Miss Sams were behaving and that someone will be familiar with a BDSM relationship and out his brother." Kate says excitedly.

"Shit. I am so sorry that Elliot saw that. God, can you imagine walking in on that?"

"Well, ya gotta look at it from your perspective, Ana. As I said, it is as if God did not have security by the elevator and Elliot got in and did see it. You put out the affair with a brunette theory, Elliot and Carrick already believed it was the case, then poor Elliot walks in on the nasty shit. Therefore, there is proof of an affair and no way for Grey to deny it. By the way, Elliot is desperate to get in here and comfort the shit out of you as he put it. The entire family feels like shit, they all assume you knew it all along."

"Wait a sec. Who did Elliot tell all of this to?"

"Christ, Ana. When he got back here, he practically tore the doors down getting in the house. He barrels into the family room where we were all waiting and pacing. We were wondering what in the fuck he was up to, although I have no doubt Ray and Carrick had an idea. Hell, Elliot rushed in with Luke on his heels, and looked like he had been stabbed. Grace and I rushed him and then he just let loose with the entire story. He was so out of it and furious that he did not edit a word, even with his mom and Mia being in the room. Once he was finished telling us all what happened, Carrick and Luke had to hold your dad back. He was going to Escala to finish what Elliot had started."

"Thank God for that. Ray has wanted to kill Christian since I told him. What did poor Grace do?"

"Oh, Grace did a lot of things. Went nuts, started checking Elliot as if he had been in a gang brawl, and begged him to go to the hospital. She nearly fainted, cried for you, and then started crying for Christian. She started questioning Elliot about the condition Christian was in when he left and then grabbed her doctor bag and headed to Escala. She was upset that Elliot beat him that way, reminding him of the physical abuse Christian had gone through as a child. Shit, when she finished lecturing him about what all Grey went through, I even felt bad," She replies.

"If she was so upset, who drove her to Escala? Damn, I know that had to have thrown Christian back to when he was small. I am not mad at Elliot, but thinking of Christian's PTSD over being abused, and probably retreating into that same little kid, makes my heart hurt."

"I know, sweetie," Kate whispers. "Your heart is to good and genuine not to feel that way. Even if it is over Grey."

"You did not say who drove Grace to Escala."

"Oh, Carrick did. Christian refused to see him, although he finally relented and agreed to go the hospital with Grace. One of his security guys took them and Carrick came back here. We have no idea if Elliot inflicted any serious injuries to Grey, but Grace called me to check on you and told me all these signs for any complications you could have from that shot."

"Did Elliot know why Taylor wasn't around to save Christian's ass?"

"He never mentioned Taylor and none of us asked. We were too busy trying to pick our jaws up off the floor after Elliot told us what went down."

"Should I feel bad about this?"

Kate sits up on the side of the bed and looks at me as if I have grown an additional limb.

"You think you should feel bad that Elliot walked in on Christian's sub giving him head? How in the hell do you figure that any of that is your doing? Elliot has been saying Christian has been acting weird for a while, Ana. He knew something was up practically around the time you found out the truth. Elliot might be a big softie, but he is not stupid by any means. He had Christian pegged all along. It just sucks that now he has got that visual in his head."

"I can understand that. Your own brother's cock in the mouth of a completely naked weird woman who will not get off her knees or lift her eyes off the floor. This t is just so fucked up."

"Fucked up is an understatement." Kate deadpans.

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

Seattle, Washington

A long time ago, my little girl pink was blackened train wreck blue. I healed from it; Ray picked me up, holding me until those bruises faded. Never in my wildest dreams, did I consider that it would happen again in my lifetime. Nevertheless, it did and left open a door that I was forced to enter and question if there is such a thing as fate. I still do not know the answer. One thing that I do know is that the length of time between the months of April and September are relatively short; but they are filled with very long seconds, minutes, hours, and days. I utilized every one of those and I no longer have to remind myself to smile. To be happy. Yes, I have continuously dug in down inside and I need to start again. I never required any of my loved ones to tell me that I cannot change my past, but I can let it go.

Yes, Christian Grey was allowed far too much time to influence my thoughts, my life. He will be my lost time, years that were wasted, and too many mindless moments between us. However, Christian is not welcome in my head anymore. Not very long ago, I was devastated by pain. Pain that I could not take; could not endure. I was simply too paralyzed to take it anymore. Christian Grey broke me and I was initially too fucking weary to fight. I was even too tired to surrender to the truth about my life. There have been many times that I questioned if I would take my time with Christian back. I admit that I would wonder if I would really give it back to him. The last time I spoke to Christian, that day at Ray's, I will say his words concerning my career bothered me, that is until I remembered that I only wanted to sit and read manuscripts, looking for words that would be linked together and become a wonderful story. I never wanted to own a publishing company or to run one. It has truthfully never given me pleasure and if I had my way, I would take some white out and cover up my name as the CEO of Grey Publishing. In the stillness of one particular night, I remembered something that the poet e.e. cummings wrote that summed up my time between April and September, "The eyes of my eyes are opened," Words so simple and so apt.

Christian and his legal powerhouse did not offer the slightest resistance to Darlington, Kendall, and Colter, and agreed to the speedy process of laying our marriage to rest. That lack of resistance or trouble dealing with Christian lies solely on Carrick Grey. Christian eventually granted time to see his father and Carrick said his son expected another fight, verbally or otherwise. However, the only thing Carrick Grey wanted from Christian was his word to leave me in some sort of peace and not drag this out. Shocking all of us, Christian kept his word and here we are a month later, a sunrise away from the last meeting between Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey.

The day after bloody Monday, as my sarcastic best friend secretly refers to it, and the day Christian was served with divorce papers, I sat between Kate and Luke in Carrick's office, honestly relaying what we could. It was, without a doubt, the most uncomfortable conversation that I had ever experienced, even more disturbing than the day Ray stuttered his way through the bird's and the bee's talk. What annoyed Carrick the most was that I had not trusted him enough to confide in him or seek legal counsel, along with Katherine not telling Elliot the truth of Christian's infidelity those times that he asked her. Elliot, just like Carrick, understood Kate's bond with me and why she kept her mouth shut. While they were both upset by it, they eventually let it slide due to her long time loyalty to me. There was no ambivalence, and if anything, it made everyone closer and more protective of one another. Both men saw why Luke protected me and helped me as I dealt with Christian's pretend affair and understood why Luke would no longer be working for Christian. So the day after bloody Monday was also the day of Luke's resignation. While Katherine begged for Luke to walk into Christian's office and not only give him his resignation letter, but a punch to the gut; Carrick and I overruled her and allowed Luke to choose how to handle it. His decision was anti climatic to say the least, and one I thought fitting. Carrick drew up the document that began with Luke resigning from Christian Grey's employment and then demands to all of Christian's legally binding monetary compensation that was in Luke's employment contract with Christian. Again, there was not an argument over that and within days; Luke received a check with several zeros on it. Luke simply made his way to the executive floor where Christian's office is, and sat the envelope containing his resignation and each key to Christian's vehicles and homes, and laid them on the counter directly in front of Andrea. Knowing what she had long been aware of, Luke gave her a glare of disgust and then saw Taylor, both men staring the other down. Taylor looked away first; his eyes landing on the envelope, realization hitting him, and Luke simply called for the elevator and left Grey House for good. Tom and Samuel were parked outside waiting for him, and Luke told me that he had not felt so free since long before terrible April afternoon.

As predicted, Christian shut himself off in his tower in the sky and refused to speak with his father and especially his brother. Grace and Mia went to check on him a week after that fateful night and found that he was beginning to feel better, although he was still black and blue. However, when they described him as being pitiful, Kate and I nearly puked in our mouths. Christian Grey can be described by many words but pitiful will never be one. Hearing that Grace and Mia went to Christian to reassure him of their devotion and forever love, they were also emphatic when they told him that his gold digging slut, as Mia is calling her, will never be accepted by the family nor will she ever enter their home. Without exchanging a word, I looked at Kate knowingly. Grace and Mia would never have to worry about that. Miss Sams was not a woman that Christian was in love with and would never lay her eyes on a member of the Grey family. Well, except for two. It took a good two weeks before Grace and Mia could look at me without crying. Fighting the urge to tell them to shut up with their endless apologies became harder to control. They had no reason to apologize to me and during my lowest points; I became terrified that those apologies were meant for having to tell me good-bye.

What can I say about Elliot? Initially disgusted, shocked, angry, to the point of destructive violence, Elliot Grey? He never stopped calling me sis, hugging me every time that he saw me, or calling to check on me. Sometimes I would see a glint of embarrassment in those loving eyes and I knew it was due to what he walked in on. Kate said she found him in the shower crying and when she asked him what was wrong, all that he could mutter was his brother's name. Whenever I think about that, the same large lump closes my throat and once again, I find two words stuck in my head-collateral damage. Christian has love offered to him in spades, people that would probably take a bullet for him, although he refuses to accept it and throws it all away. He has thrown each of them away.

In mere hours, I will be making my way south to Vancouver to where the office of Darlington, Kendall, and Colter is located. The big bad Grey legal squad did not even protest about having the meeting all the way in Vancouver. I have wondered why Christian is being so amendable, but a quick mental rundown leads to the same place, it is where I am, wanting it over. It feels like I am taking a traveling circus with me. Of course, Kate, Ray, Angela, and Luke will be with me. I believe shock ran deep in us all when Carrick insisted on being there, although he admitted that his decision was made from his love for his son, as well as me. There was no doubt in my mind that was true and it actually made me happy. Christian needed someone in his corner, even if that someone was also in mine. Christian adamantly told his mother and Mia to stay at home and they begrudgingly agreed, and then cried when they assured me they also wanted to be there for me as well. The realization of how divorce hurts more people than the couple divorcing staggered me. It never crossed my mind. I was only concentrating on keeping Christian's demons from the Grey's and never breaking their bond. I never expected to remain loved and considered a part of their family, no matter how our relationships will surely evolve.

It is now five-twenty-five in the evening and Kate and I are sitting in her brand new Mercedes waiting for a visual of Tom. Three ridiculously large, black Cadillac Escalades are practically parked on top of us, causing both of us to roll our eyes. We are both dressed to the nines, as one would expect a woman with the last name of Grey to be. We knew to wear light colored dresses; such colors cause a mess to show up better. Katherine had called one of the Canlis brother's personally about her reservation and requesting a certain table, one that sits two, but also in the center of the dining area. Having the last name of Grey guaranteed that Mr. Canlis eagerly handled the task himself. Of course, where the table is situated was requested strategically.

Tom appears out of nowhere and nods at Kate, who drives her brand new Mercedes-AMG GT S toward the valet who helps us out and hands Kate her ticket. Walking into a fine restaurant as Mrs. Christian Grey, which I am still known by since our upcoming divorce is still top secret and the press has yet to get wind of it, and Mrs. Elliot Grey, the maitre d immediately meets us. After a moment of kissing our ass, a hostess leads us to the exact table Kate requested and after more fucking blah, blah, talking; she tells us our server will be with us shortly. I have taken the seat where my back is to the direction our dear server will approach us from. Kate's eyebrow is raised; emerald eyes hard, and is tapping the fingers of one hand on the table. Our eyes are locked with unnamed emotions behind them. Whether we are simply relieved to have reached this moment, or just complete bitches, we are calm and collected as we wait. In addition, we do not have to wait long.

Katherine's gaze leaves mine and she is now looking over my shoulder. She alerts me of what is headed our way with a barely noticeable twitch of an eyebrow. My curiosity nearly causes me to turn and look, so I quickly cast my eyes down and make a bored show of checking my phone. Through my lashes, I watch as Kate's hard and intimidating expression never leaves the approaching body. Once our server is beside our table, Kate's expression becomes hostile and one of thinly veiled disgust. I have kept my face slightly down and directed to my left where my phone is on the table. For just a few more seconds, I remain an anonymous and nameless, wealthy diner.

"Good evening, welcome to Canlis. My name is Haley and it is my pleasure to serve you both tonight. Would you like to start with an appetizer or a cocktail?"

I never wondered how the voice of Haley Sams would sound. I suppose the thought of a submissive caused me to believe it would be soft and unassuming. However, the voice that just hit my ears is strong and vibrant. She even sounds happy and welcoming. Well, I suppose that could be a part of her job.

Kate wanted the honor of making the introduction that would bring about the knocking of a pair of knees. I did not give a fuck and let her have her way. Here we go.

"We want a bottle of the '99 Richebourg Burgundy," Kate replies, sounding as rude as a person possibly could. "Is that vintage good with you, Anastasia?"

Anastasia. What Lucifer calls me. Let us see if she has heard him do so and wonder if I am that Anastasia. Looking up, I toss my hair back and quickly look at Kate, who is wearing a satisfied smirk. I do not give my answer to Katherine; instead, I steadily rest my eyes on the shocked face of my husband's whore.

"Of course, Katherine. That vintage will be wonderful. You do know if you have it in stock, don't you?" I ask Miss Sams, my voice dripping contempt. I deliberately look her over, from her dark brown hair that is up in a bun to her ugly uniform and shapeless shoes. She is as petite as I am and undeniably beautiful. My attention snaps back to her widened eyes and she knows that I have all but screamed that I know who and what she is. I remember Gail telling me how the bitch sarcastically smirked at the mention of my name. The glare and smirk I offer her is not sarcastic, it full of bitter distaste.

Miss Sams remains in a shocked silence before she is able to recover herself enough to answer me. She attempts a polite smile and I guess that could be her inward and desperate plea that she is wrong about whom I am. The dagger I throw from my darkened blue eyes lands in her chest and puts her hope that I am not the Mrs. Christian Grey to rest.

"Yes, ma'am, we do. Is that all you would both enjoy at this time?" She asks softly. That vibrant happiness she possessed moments ago has turned to vapor.

"Yes, Miss Sams. That is all."

Referring to her as Miss Sams was the final nail in what would become the worst night of her current life. She knows that she did not tell us her last name and yet I referred to her by it. She is currently standing between two women who are murdering her with their expressions, who will soon derail everything she knows, her small frame can deceive you, it does not look like it could withstand Christian's beloved canes, and I hope that does not mean that I will not be able to break her easily.

"Of course. I will have that out to you momentarily." She replies. It takes her a second or two to pick up her feet and head to the wine cellar.

We do not wait until she is out of ear shot before we start laughing.

"That was so worth the fact that I missed out on the Declan experience! You could not see it, but when I called you Anastasia, I knew she was aware of who you were. Her little order book nearly fell out of her hands."

"Yeah, well, you know Christian has always refused to call me Ana."

"Don't mention that fucker's name to me." She says. "At least while I have got to sit here and look at her."

"Do you think she knows that the hunky blonde man that caught her blowing Christian is your husband?" I ask jokingly.

Kate giggles. "Oh, I fucking hope so. Although I doubt someone like her would be embarrassed by it."

"Why do I think I hate her?"

Kate looks at me as if I am an idiot.

"Probably because you know four hours ago your husband was fucking her."

"For the last time."

Kate looks deep in thought and leans across the table.

"Do you know when ghost man is taking that shit out of Escala?" She whispers.

My eyes widen and I look around as if someone could possibly know what she is referring to.

"Shhh! Jesus, Kate!" I hiss.

"Fuck you, Steele! Do not be stupid. No one knows what we are talking about. Answer me!"

"I fucking hate you, Kavanagh! The answer is NO! Like Luke would tell anyone in the first place."

"Ohhhh….I bet you could get it out of Luke if you tried hard enough." Kate snickers.

Wanting to stick my tongue out at her and knowing that I cannot because of where we are, I roll my eyes.

"And why in the fuck did you order a bottle of wine that costs well over three grand? You are going to waste a bottle of wine that is that expensive! They had better not charge it to either of us, Kate."

Kate sighs in exasperation and kicks me under the table.

"Ouch, Kate! Cut that shit out. We are not in the cafeteria at WSUV!"

We both start laughing at my words. Then I have the fleeting thought that I wished we were in that cafeteria.

The narrowing of Kate's eyes alert me that Miss Sams is approaching. She continues giving the whore a knowing glare. It is Kate's blaring message telling Miss Sams that we are not here for an entrée.

"Ladies, I have the vintage you ordered. Our sommelier complimented you both for your exquisite taste," Little Miss Sams says, obviously doing her best to sound like I have not put her in a tailspin.

"Yes, Harley," Kate spits, purposely calling her by the wrong name. "My dear sister-in-law, Mrs. Grey, has wonderful taste in wine. Her husband has taken her on several trips around the world and introduced her palette to various excellent vintages."

Harley? It takes all I can muster to keep from howling with laughter. Introduced my palette? Yeah, I know that is what a wine snob might say, but hearing Kate say it in such a pretentious way and just to rile Miss Sams up is fucking hysterical.

"That sounds wonderful, ma'am. Shall I pour you both a glass?" Harley, no, Haley asks.

Kate looks me straight in the eye.

I look rent a whore dead in the eye, a small, but hell sent smile on my face. Her shoulders, that she must have squared to appear confident, twitch as my eyes never leave her face.

"Well, yes…it is your job, is it not?" I snarl at her.

"Certainly, ma'am."

With her little white towel draped neatly over her forearm, Miss Sams reaches to Katherine's glass first. Kate is still watching me and I am watching the dainty hands of my husband's fuck. After expertly pouring Kate's wine, Miss Sams stands up and goes to pour my glass of wine. Kate is watching and waiting. I am watching and waiting. Before the wine leaves the bottle, I look at Miss Sams with one final smirk. Here comes the deep red liquid, hitting the bottom of my crystal goblet. I watch and wait until it is enough. Finally. Satisfaction surrounds Katherine's smile.

Once I deem the glass has enough of the deep burgundy wine in it, I raise my arm and pull it to me quicker than I can blink my eye. Within the span of a breath, I effectively covered my pale pink dress with three thousand dollar wine. With the lightning speed I used to ruin my dress, Miss Sams does not have time to react and to stop pouring the wine. Along with my pink dress, Miss Sams has turned the crisp, white tablecloth into what looks like a bloody crime scene. We hear her loud gasp as her head snaps in my direction. Her expression hints that she is not a stupid rent a whore. She knew it was deliberate and the pure hatred that flashes off my face causes her breath to hitch.

Just as we had planned, Kate and I both loudly react, pushing our chairs from the table and jumping to our feet. The dining room becomes quiet and the restaurants head host turns to look our way. It is time to act like two outraged and wealthy divas. Buh-bye, Haley.

"Oh, my God! What have you done? Look at what you have done to me! You have ruined my dress! My, God! What is wrong with you?" I rant, in a semi lady like tone.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Grey! I…I do not know what happened! I…"

"You need to be quiet!" Kate grits out through clenched teeth and pointing a finger at her. "I want you to bring your boss over here this instant!"

Miss Sams is looking at us as though she could choke the life out of us. Go get ready to pack your shit up, Miss Sams. I do believe you have just become unemployed.

Quicker than I thought possible, the hostess who led us to our table is by my side and speaking out of both sides of her mouth.

"Mrs. Grey, we apologize profusely and will certainly compensate you for this unfortunate incident. Please accept the sincere apologies of the entire establishment."

I really want to tell this woman to shut up, but I want to draw out the drama for a little while longer. I place a napkin in my glass of water and start scrubbing my dress as if I want to wipe it off. Kate decides to join the party and comes to my side, using her own wet napkin on my dress. The dining room remains silent and all eyes are focused on us.

"Apologies? You think your apologies are sufficient for your employee's service or lack thereof. Look at my sister-in-law's dress, it is completely ruined! Anastasia, darling…do not bother trying to get this wine out of your STELLA MCCARTNEY dress! Who are you? What is your name?" Kate yells loudly, now pointing a finger at the no name hostess.

"Mrs. Grey, I'm one of the hostess' here and my name is Julia Howton. As I told your sister-in-law, we will fully compensate her for the loss of her dress." She replies, her words are rushed and low.

"Oh, I guarantee that you will pay for this mess! Just because Mrs. Grey is the wife of Christian Grey does not mean she doesn't deserve to have her clothing paid for when a klutz that you employee knocks her wine glass in her lap and then continues to pour the wine on her!"

Julia Howton is wringing her hands and giving Haley Sams a death glare at the same time. Miss Sams is standing stock still in the same spot with the bottle of wine still in her hand. Her face is expressionless as she watches the rehearsed drama unfolding before her.

"No, no! We would never insinuate that the wife of Mr. Grey should not be monetarily…"

"Ms. Howton, is Brian Canlis here this evening?" I interrupt her.

Julia Howton's head swings to me and her face is one of dread. If she does not stop wringing her hands, I am going to choke her with them. The mention of the owner of Canlis also gets the attention of Miss Sams.

"No, Mrs. Grey. No, he is not here this evening."

"Who is in charge this evening? Who is the Director of Service? I demand to speak with them right now."

"I am, Mrs. Grey," She replies.

"Well, I expect to be contacted by Mr. Brian Canlis sooner rather than later. The entire Grey and Trevelyan families have spent enormous amounts of money in Mr. Canlis' restaurant and we expect better treatment and much better service from the employees here."

"Of course, Mrs. Grey. Please, know that everyone here at Canlis appreciates the long-standing relationship with your family. We would never jeopardize that relationship or do anything that even implies that we have insulted you."

"Excuse me, Anastasia. Ms. Howton, I do not appreciate having to be reassured that the Grey-Trevelyan families will not be disrespected. If this service has become the norm here since my last visit, than I give you my word you will never see a dime of our money again." Kate says loudly.

Looking at Miss Sams from underneath my eyelashes, I can tell that she knows her fate. Kate and I have said the word service too many times; and she is the service.

"I am so sorry if you thought I was implying anything of the sort, Mrs. Grey. I will contact Mr. Canlis myself and inform him of what has happened. I know that he will be mortified and everything will be taken care of."

And because it is my husband that the rent a whore has been fucking since April, I am the one who has the honor to add the cherry on top.

"Brian Canlis cannot be any more mortified than I am right now. An entire restaurant has witnessed this entire scene and completely embarrassed me. Mr. Canlis will call Mr. Grey, but I have no need for my dress to be replaced nor do I want it to be. The only way to ensure that any future clientele is not treated the way I have and the ensuing embarrassment is for this woman to have her position terminated immediately."

I do not bother pointing fingers the way that Kate loves to. I merely moved my chin in Miss Sams direction and watched her physically deflate.

"Mrs. Grey, Haley is an exemplary employee and nothing like this has ever happ…"

Shaking my head, I pick up my phone and act as if I am about to dial a number. Ms. Howton's eyes widen.

"Fine, Ms. Howton. I hope that this woman will not pour red wine all over Mrs. Bill Gates on her next visit to Canlis. I am going to just call Mr. Grey and explain everything to him and he can call Brian Canlis directly."

Just like the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, so do the wheels in the mind of Julia Howton. Fire a low-level employee versus Christian Grey calling Brian Canlis. Evidently, the decision was not hard for her to make. She turns to Miss Sams and quietly asks her to go and wait for her in her office.

Full of satisfaction, Kate and I wait on the valet to bring her car around. There is nothing we can say about what we just pulled off, so we enter the car in silence. Once inside, Katherine gives me a smug smile and I point toward the direction were are to go. There we spot the three Escalades that have been waiting for us. Luke and Tom exit one and approach us, each man's head turning in every direction as if they are protecting the President of the United States.

"Over the top, much?" Kate mutters, rolling down our windows.

Luke stands beside mine and Tom at Kate's. Their hulking bodies practically block any view the windows may present.

"Well, what happened? Looking at Ana makes me think mission accomplished." Tom quips.

"Yes, it just went swimmingly," I reply sardonically. "It was something that I want to do every fucking day."

Maybe I sound bitter or angry because no one addresses what I have said. They could be dreading what is coming next, although there is no way they dread it more than I am. Checking my watch, I sigh over the time. Vancouver is a long drive and one I do not relish making late at night. However, there is no avoiding that at this point. All we can do is wait.

A shitting half hour passes by. I have sat and endured Kate's play-by-play account of what went down until I want to strangle her. If she was not a mother, I would. The more time that passes, I begin to feel apprehensive. Surely, Julia Howton did not dare go against my demand. I think Luke is beginning to have the same thought as I catch him checking his watch several times. The dark parking lot is illuminated by several streetlights. Fortunately, the back exit does have a light over it and there is no way for anyone to enter or exit without being seen. We know there are cameras everywhere, we no longer have a reason to care, and even if there was a reason, I am way past caring about shit.

The door to the restaurants back exit flings open and bangs against the wall. Miss Sams is pissed. I throw Katherine a glare when she watches the woman stomp across the parking lot and giggle. I do not find anything amusing about this. The back of my mind does find white-hot hostility toward Miss Sams and it is a strange feeling that I haven't felt toward any of the other four. Not even when I was breathing down the neck of Hillary Declan. I go to open my door, hitting Luke in the ass. Turning around, he looks at me with narrowed eyes and opens my door. Very quickly, Miss Sams is nearing her lovely red Audi that is courtesy of my husband. Just as quickly, I have taken off my shoes so she doesn't hear me behind her. I must have moved at the speed of a cheetah, because I have practically reached her. Behind me are Luke, Tom, and Kate, who took my cue and removed her shoes. The woman surely felt someone behind her, as she spins around quickly. She has placed each of her keys between a finger. I guess that is Miss Sams planned way to fight off an attack, poking someone with her keys. From the look on her face, it must take her brain a few seconds to process who is in her face. Her expression is a mix of shock and annoyance. Annoyance? The whore my husband pays to beat her is annoyed by his wife?

Game on, Miss Sams.

"You will have to forgive us for having your ass thrown on the street, Haley." I say. "But it seemed appropriate considering the situation."

Haley Sams looks at the ground and shakes her head. The fact she keeps her mouth shut drives me to shake her until she says something, although I manage to remember that I do have manners.

I told everyone that when it came down to this, all bets were off and if they wanted to spit anything at her to go ahead. I never doubted who would be the first one to jump on having free reign and she proved me right.

"Does a cat have your tongue, Sams? Maybe Christian's cock is still stuck in your throat. After all, you just had it down your throat several hours ago. Raise your damn head and look at Mrs. Grey." Kate sounds like a vicious mother bear protecting her cub.

She finally looks up and cocks her head at me warily. It is now that I notice she is dressed in jeans and wearing a North Face sweatshirt. Her long hair is in a ponytail. Her expression quickly appears confused, as if she is wondering how we knew about her earlier dalliance with my husband.

"That is better, Haley. There is no reason for sub mode here. Women like you sicken the two men behind me. They would dump your body in Puget Sound before fucking you with someone else's cock."

Even though I really, really want to bash her head into the pavement, I have kept my voice completely monotone and disinterested. The visceral reaction I have for this woman is much more extreme than the one I had for Hillary Declan.

The mention of being dumped into Puget Sound appears to have scared the fuck out of Miss Sams. We all watch her eyes land on her key fob and before she sets off the car alarm, Tom snatches it out of her hands, causing her to loudly gasp and lean into the car door and raises her hands up in defeat.

"I get it, Mrs. Grey. I am not surprised that you found out considering what happened with Mr. Grey's brother. Just tell me what you want from me." Her tone is matter-of-fact and it pisses me off so badly that I turn around and look at Luke and Kate in amazement.

"Which one are we getting in? I want this over with now." I finally sound like I give a shit.

Luke just nods behind him, I still have no idea which SUV to get this whore into, and all I can figure out is that he must mean the first one behind us.

"Come on, Haley. Let's go…start walking to that black Escalade." Kate growls.

Now Miss Sams looks the same way that Hillary Declan did when I ordered her into that Suburban in New York. She makes zero effort to move and her mouth is wide open. I think we all sigh at the same time.

"Miss Sams, kindly listen to Mrs. Grey and allow me to escort you to the vehicle. We will not be leaving this parking lot." Tom's words are full of authority, but not unkind.

She eyes us all shrewdly. This one is not as compliant as Declan, and it adds fuel to an already burning fire in my gut. I go against my nature and roughly take her by the elbow, surprising her.

"Walk."

"Why are we getting into that vehicle? Seriously, just tell me what the fuck you want?" She bristles at me. I apply pressure to her elbow, her eyes widening.

Kate and Tom walk ahead of us and Luke stays with Miss Sams and me. As we walk to the Escalade, Luke places his arm to my lower back. My brow furrows, not quite understanding why, but then figure he is just leading the way and it is his way of telling me that he is here for me.

"Do yourself a favor and do not swear and disrespect Mrs. Grey. So please follow and then Mrs. Grey will tell you what the fuck she wants." Luke's words are not as kind as Tom's were.

She finally relents without saying a word. Luke opens the back door and Miss Sams does the obvious, getting in and sitting between Kate and I. Luke gets behind the wheel and Craig, the IT expert is in the passenger seat, naturally, there is a MacBook in his lap. Tom and Samuel have moved the other two Escalades and have sandwiched us in. This will not be a drawn out Declan affair. Haley Sams will be informed of her newly changed existence and be sent on her way. If she gives us a hard time or annoys me further, I will be the one dumping her body in Puget Sound.

Luke turns on the interior light and turns to hand Miss Sams a pen and a clipboard that holds the NDA.

"Sign this, please." He says.

Sighing, she takes the pen, scrawls her name on the NDA, and hands the clipboard back to Luke.

"Alright, I am just going to tell you like it is and Christian's wife will probably inform you of some other things. I recommend that you sit there and listen quietly." Kate says.

Miss Sams looks at Kate quizzically. I hear the tap, tap, tap of Craig's fingers on the keyboard.

"Okay, where to start? First, you are now broke. All of your money, which is mainly the money that Christian Grey has paid to beat and fuck you, is now gone…"

"What? What in the hell are you talking about? You cannot get access to my bank account!" Her tone is incredulous.

"I am talking about the fact that you have a zero balance in your bank account; both checking and savings. And yes, we did get access to your bank account. Show her."

Craig gently passes the MacBook to Katherine who places it in Haley Sams lap. The woman takes time to scroll through everything and goes to every folder. There is nothing left to see. Her eyes grow wide and wild and I really believe she is close to becoming violent. She jerks her head to me.

"You did this? You don't have enough money of your own? I swear to fucking…" She snarls, glaring at me.

Kate and Luke simultaneously yell for her to shut her whore mouth. I do not acknowledge her at all. Katherine yanks the laptop from her.

"So you are now penniless…every one of your credit cards have been cancelled and you now have a credit score of 300. In case you do not know, a credit score of 300 is the worst possible one you can have."

Haley Sams starts to say something.

"Eh! Shut it! You can speak when I am finished. That is if I say that you can. You know, the way you behave with Christian," Kate growls. She must think about what she says next, and begins to laugh about it.

"There were not any other credit cards found at your place and my pal Craig up there did an extensive search and no others exist."

"My place? You went into my home? That's illegal…breaking and entering!" Miss Sams shrieks.

"Holy balls, to be a sub, you sure do not listen when you are told not to speak!"

While this is all perfect ways to exercise revenge, sitting here and listening to it is boring me. I am disheartened and cannot understand why. Maybe I am just physically tired and need to rest. There is no possible way that I am not mentally tired and need to rest. Where I am sitting right now, in a pile of horseshit within inches of this gross woman that I despise, the darkness we are all enveloped by is what I am feeling crawling inside of me. This right now, this…what we are doing…has nothing on tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I am essentially on my own, even if Bee and Allison will be with me, tomorrow is all on me. To toss it all out, throw it all down, admit to everything, show it all in vivid Technicolor and Dolby sound, and slam my hand into Christian Grey's soul and reclaim every fucking thing he took from me. All of that is up to me and me alone. My consciousness slips into the present moment. Kate's cruel voice is loudly yapping over the now crying Haley Sams. What did I miss?

"Don't fucking concern yourself with what we did with your belongings…they are gone…long gone. The apartment you used to reside in is now a bare space. We sure hope that you did not have many sentimental things. It is a shame your computer is history. If you had it, maybe you could have replaced some of those photographs you've lost."

Sniff. Sniff.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a total bitch?" Miss Sams chokes out."

Kate snorts. "Has anyone ever told you that you're nothing but a well paid whore?"

Crickets.

"Ana, Luke, what did I forget?" Kate asks.

"The recordings." Luke replies.

Katherine claps her hands excitedly, practically bouncing in the seat. If I were not in such a mood, I would be enjoying her delight immensely. Even feeling the way that I do, I realize Kate is doing all of this because her heart was broken the day that mine was. I owe this woman so much. I owe her my undying loyalty, a lifetime of friendship, and now I owe her not only my sanity; I owe Katherine Grey my life.

"Miss Sams, you might enjoy knowing that for many months now, every time you have been in Christian's so called, playrooms, you have been recorded. As in, there were cameras in every angle all recording you and that pretty face of yours. All meant to capture you and Christian in every fucked up and sick way. Each recording, and hell, there are a lot of them, have your lovely face on full display. There is no doubt that it is you in each of them. We even recorded your voice in case you tried to say that the video had been tampered with."

Haley Sams looks absolutely, totally, horribly, and utterly petrified. I expect she has whiplash from how fast she is whipping her face between Kate and me. This time I meet her gaze and smile at her.

"Why…why would you do that? What can you possibly…"

Her near hysterical panic amuses me so much that I break in and answer before Kate gets the chance to.

"Were you going to ask what I could possibly gain by doing that?" I ask softly. "Haley, I gained so many things by having those playroom sessions recorded. Too many that we am willing to name. However, the two most important things I gained, what I now possess-Your ass and Christian's ass. I. Own. You. Both. Do you know what it means to own something? Well, of course you do. In this particular situation, when I say that I own the two of you, I mean I hold everything in my hands, the means to break the two of you in half. I can wipe you off the face of the planet, Haley. Just think of how I have already dismantled your life and how easily that I did it…Haley, I am the reason a woman is in prison facing a twenty year sentence."

My tone sounds eerie to my own ears and the only sound in the SUV is our breathing. At some point, I have turned to fully face Miss Sams and am stroking the side of her face. I am not quite sure if I just want her to believe that I am crazy or if I am actually crazy. I can see that I have freaked her out. The silence seems to prompt her to speak, and when she does, I see it immediately. A bright line shines down on the fact, pointing out a truth that I never even considered. Discovering this does not bother me in the least and I feel no jealousy. I am honestly speechless and amazed.

"What are you going to do to Mr. Grey," She breathes. "Please, don't do anything to hurt, Sir."

Katherine registers her words as well and her widened eyes reach mine in an instant, asking if I caught it. If I know.

My husband's rent a whore.

My husband's dirty little submissive.

My husband's carefully hidden secret.

Haley Sams.

Is in love with Christian Grey.

Haley Sams is in love with the man I am married to and she is more concerned with what I am going to do to Christian than what I will do to her. I never thought about that-not once. How selfless of her, how considerate. How goddamn pathetic. Now, my coup de grace means so much more. Miss Sams only cares about being separated from Sir. Did God know this and place this idea in my mind? How in the hell could I have thought of this before discovering it was the perfect blow to Miss Sams. I knew what I came up with was extreme, Kate questioned my thinking, Luke just stared at me, and Tom gave me his panty-dropping smile. The universe has given me a gift that I never asked for, but one I will not reject. I am so thrilled I pinch her dick sucking cheek.

"Ahhh…how sweet! You are in love with my husband. Kate, I thought there was surely a submissive school that taught these whores that falling in love with their Dom is a big no-no."

"If Christian knew about this, I'd hate to be your Haley." Kate replies.

"No, Sir cares for me. He has changed it where I am with him during the week now," She declares. "Mrs. Grey, please do not hurt Sir. He is a benevolent Master and I…"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Haley! Do not worry about Sir. Moneybags can take care of himself and you are a disposable whore that he will replace in no time. Get over yourself. A desperate and begging woman is disgusting. Grow some self-respect. So what do we know?" Kate asks. "Guys, correct me if I leave anything out of my summary. Haley, you are penniless and have no credit cards to live off. You have no way to apply for credit since your credit score is 300, and everything in your apartment went bye-bye. Your phone has been disconnected, all of your email accounts have been deleted….Hmmm….Oh yes, those really sick and graphic pictures and months of recordings of you in full on sex slave action. We have the contract you signed and all of those things you eagerly agreed to let Christian Grey do to you."

"The Audi." Luke says.

Kate snaps her fingers and I have to laugh. Haley Sams in sandwiched between us devastated, and we are laughing and making fun of her. Her own choices have brought about well-deserved consequences. Consequences so rabid that she has no way to comprehend what has happened.

"Yep, Haley! No more Audi. You cannot even go take anything out of it. Then again, where you are going, you won't need anything out of it."

Here we go again. Haley Sams starts to panic. Well, rightly so, I suppose.

"What does that mean? Where I am going? I am not going anywhere! Please, Mrs. Grey, what does that mean?"

We all ignore her.

"Oh, hell! I forgot about that Episcopal shit, Ana! Fuck." Kate says, looking directly at Miss Sams, her eyes dancing from her enjoyment.

I make a show of shaking my head as if she has annoyed me.

"Haley, when I paid a visit to another sub that Christian contracted during our marriage; I told her a little fib. Shit, it was more than a little fib. Most would probably refer to it as a big ass, life destructive lie. Anyway, Mrs. Declan, or the sub rather, was from this big Catholic family and taught at this fancy smancy Catholic school. I had a tid bit of information dropped in my lap, things like names and addresses of her family members."

Her eyes are huge as saucers and tears continue to stream down her cheeks. Whether it was Kate saying "Episcopal" or my mention of family members that brought this dread to her face is irrelevant. Miss Sams thinks that I have grabbed her hand and am dragging her down the road of fate I pushed Hillary Declan down. Whenever we all debated if Miss Sams should experience a similar coming out party, there were too many arguments and when we agreed to Kate's immature idea to vote on it, there was still dissent and a fucking two against two tie. Without anyone I found trust worthy to bounce an idea off, I finally made the decision, considering her previous occupation. Considering Miss Sams' surprising revelation of being in love with Sir Canes A Lot, I stand firmly in my belief that what occurred to me one night was true divine intervention.

"Don't start freaking out, Haley. I did tell the other pestilent woman a complete lie when I promised her that I would not distribute the irrefutable evidence about her, but I am not going to do that to you. I will not give you my word that I will not change my mind, because when it comes to you, Miss Sams, my word doesn't mean shit. It would be best for you to never forget that." I say softly. "I took my time when it came to deciding on how you would receive my ultimate fuck you and then one day someone helped me with my final decision. Do you want to know who that someone was, Haley?"

This little twenty-three year-old whore looks confused. Her ponytail has somehow managed to come undone and my hand longs to grab her by the hair and slam her face into the back of one of the front seats. Her brow is furrowed and forehead crinkled, as she appears to be thinking whom I am referring to. I have no doubt Miss Sams has no conscience from the little information I was given about her. A little, smart mouth troublemaker. Disrespectful and rude. Miss Sams was the actual nail in the coffin of another woman's life. A woman that I love and who loves me. The slight flick of a paintbrush can change the vision of an artist in a second. My retribution for Miss Sams was initially because of Christian, although a paintbrush unexpectedly changed the colors of my canvas. She will never know and I know she would never approve; but this is for her, as well as for Christian Grey.

"Well?" Kate asks, causing Haley Sams to turn and look at her. I swear her nonstop head turning is making me nauseous. It is getting later by the moment and I am ready to end this shit and get on the road to Vancouver. This dumbfounded cunt licks her dry lips and nods.

"One woman-First name Gail. Second name Taylor," I say with contempt. "I will not lay the blame of her marriage ending on you, which is all on her fucking liar of a husband. I do know how you treated her while you pranced around Christian's penthouse wearing your see through whore lingerie. Haley, if you look at all of this you can see it is like a game of Dominos. My husband's lifestyle, which would have been fine if he had not been married and lying to me for years, is what starts this game of Dominos. His Domino goes down first, and the next Domino, whose name is Jason Taylor, is knocked down. Again, his decision to aid Christian's lifestyle would have been fine had it not been for me, after all covering for Christian Grey was Jason's modus operandi long before I arrived on the scene. Then there are the next five Dominos that represent each of you five whores, and each of you knocked my Domino down, and then ultimately, you knocked down Gail Taylor's Domino. Their divorce is ultimately due to Jason Taylor's loyalty to my husband. I see you being the reason of Gail's inner turmoil and pain, whether you agree with me or not."

"That is not my doing, Mrs. Grey. I never even knew that Mr. Taylor was married…"

"You never noticed the wedding band on his left hand? No, I suppose not, with Christian's cock in your mouth and all." I reply. "Guys, it is late and I am tired. Can we get this show on the road, please? One of you handle it, my throat hurts from talking."

Katherine's mouth opens, the desire to shock Miss Sams until her ass quivers written on her face. Surprisingly enough, Luke turns and faces Haley Sams and informs her of the next year of her life.

"You are about to get into the SUV that is on the left of you…"

Again, bobble head starts making my stomach roll and head dizzy. I wonder if I thumped her on the head she would quit.

"Why? No, I am not! I am going to call Mr. Grey the minute I get out of this fucking vehicle." Miss Sams says her voice shaky, despite trying to sound confident with her stupid threat.

"And tell him what exactly? That your life is in the shitter and that you are in love with him. You know what would happen if he knew you felt that way. God, you're stupid." Kate replies, waving at her dismissively.

"Sir does care about me! He extended our contract and I know that he wants more with me. Why else would he be with me and not her?" She yells, having the nerve to gesture towards me.

"Call my best friend "her" one more time, bitch, and see what happens. Your Sir-fucking-Lancelot would hear the word love or your schoolgirl notion that he gives a rat's ass about you, and would beat your ass before he tossed you out on it. I will say it once again, shut up. This handsome man here, who finds you icky and probably diseased, has something to tell you."

How Kate manages to growl and talk at the same time is truly an amazing feat. Then again, Kate has never failed at anything she has ever attempted.

"Let's start over. A very nice gentlemen and employee of Mrs. Grey, named Samuel Winston is waiting for you in that SUV. There is another man with him named Kurt Dupree. I assure you that neither of these men will harm you, and Kurt is actually going to be somewhat of a bodyguard for you. They are escorting you to Sea-Tac…"

And the wildcat emerges. Miss Sams does not even bother protesting or begging for answers. She is trying to claw her way across Katherine to get out of the vehicle. Kate does not have to make a single move to stop her, as Luke reaches between the seats and carefully grabs her around the waist.

"Please, calm down, Miss Sams. Your safety is not in jeopardy and it never will be. Calm down before you injure yourself." Luke says in a reassuring tone.

She flops in between Kate and I crying, but says nothing. I shoot Luke a look of pure annoyance and gesture for him to wrap this up no matter how this woman behaves.

"There is a private jet at Sea-Tac that is waiting for you to arrive. Samuel and Kurt will be traveling with you and once you reach your destination, Sam will head back to Seattle. Kurt is to remain with you and I am sure you will become great friends. Don't think he will be interested in fucking you though, he is gay." Luke says, his voice laden with humor. "Mrs. Grey is generously providing you with a very nice home, along with a wardrobe, a sizeable amount of cash and has already found you a place of employment.

Haley Sams interrupts Luke, and stares me in the eyes, hate, and venom heating them. When she figures out that she will never win a staring contest with me, she looks over my shoulder and shakes her head.

"And I thought that I hated you before I ever met you. Mrs. Grey, you have far surpassed the bitch I envisioned you to be. Had you been able to satisfy your husband, he wouldn't have had the need for me." She snarls.

She actually sounds menacing as she speaks, and if she would have uttered those words to me months ago, I would have been devastated. Right now though, right at this minute, right before her eyes, her words mean nothing. Her words are a joke.

"Christian Grey pays whores like you so that he can beat the shit out of them because you all look like his mother. Betcha did not know that sick shit did you? I never allowed him to beat the shit out of me because I have respect for myself, and do not trade my pussy for cash. Remember, you fucking bitch, he married a lady. Christian only has whores like you that sign on a dotted line and then he gives them all a little red Audi. Anastasia Grey is Mrs. Christian Grey, not a whore he met trolling a BDSM club. Anastasia Grey has the rocks on her left hand, while you have red whelps on your back and ass. Anastasia Grey wears million-dollar jewelry that her husband buys her before he takes her out in public. However, you, where does he take you? He takes you to a room, ties you up, and fucks you. I have the name, the status, and the money. You, my dear, don't have a pot to piss in."

That hate and venom that was in her eyes became the spiteful words that fell off my tongue. While everyone else know what I am saying is in the past tense, Miss Sams does not. She only lives a life with him for a few days; t is nothing but a life of pretending. Miss Sams sold her masochism to Christian's sadism and then deluded herself into believing they had a relationship; that he cared about her. It was that delusion of a real relationship and then falling in love with him that drove her to hate me. She hates me because I was Mrs. Christian Grey and I had all of those things that I just threw in her face. The fact that my words have caused another bout of crying only proves that. I can almost pity her for loving someone unable to love her back and the heartbreak that brings. I remember that feeling all too well. It is a searing and paralyzing feeling that you believe you will never recover from. I never thought that I would recover after that April afternoon, wearing that white silk blouse with French salad dressing covering it. I never believed that I would survive the gut wrenching knowledge that I had given Christian every inch of my heart and soul and he had never wanted it. I woke up in a hospital bed after surgery, his was the first face I saw, and I remember wishing that I had died. I woke up and had shortly forgotten about my life. I woke up and looked at my husband, and then it all came crashing down again. I remember thinking that I could die and I would not mind. In fact, I welcomed my own funeral.

That has all changed. The hole Christian bore inside me is practically covered, although I admit there are still cracks in it. I know that a crack can grow wider or seal itself off. I know that mine will do the latter.

"Alright, I have had enough of this bullshit and the snot running down your chin. This is a quick summary of your life for the next year," I say. "Like I have already said, I am exhausted and I am fed up with looking at you. You need to quickly get onboard and accept that I am now your alpha and omega. I am being extremely generous with you and you should be thanking me. We were kind and have already written and emailed your nearest and dearest, telling them that you are taking an extended trip to Europe, even though you are not going anywhere near Europe, but anyway. I am giving you quite a bit of cash and a very nice home to live in for that year, along with a very kind companion to look after you. Unfortunately, you will not have access to the internet or a telephone or the ability to write an S.O.S letter. Everything about your existence will be untraceable for an entire year. I am going to be kind enough to provide Kurt with copies of some of the evidence of your naughty behavior so that you are reminded to keep your ass where I plant it. Do not worry if those copies name or incriminate Sir. I have fixed it where they do not. I am not dumb enough to have you near anything that you could use that would hurt his family."

"This is kidnapping. Out and out kidnapping and I will see that you all go to prison for it."

"Don't make us laugh, Miss Sams. While you sit and ponder a way out of your shit situation, you will remember that I have the entire Christian and Haley Sams BDSM collection. I will not hesitate to use it to fuck you up even further. I would willingly sell it to some hardcore BDSM porn site and let the world see the real boy genius that is the billionaire Christian Grey. If you love him so much, I am sure you would not want that to happen. Not to mention all the religious nuts in your family, with a father who presides over Seattle's landmark Episcopalian church," I scream, my voice is gone and her death is all that I want. "I am also going to ruin you in the "community" as you fuckers call it. You will never be a paid whore to another wealthy Dom again."

Kate keeps sighing in annoyance and tapping her foot on the floorboard. I know that it is because she is sick of this whore's non-stop crying.

"Do you cry like this when my disgusting brother-in-law is caning you? For the love of God, shut the fuck up!" She yells.

With her arms crossed, this bitch looks like a petulant teenager as she sits here glaring. Luke gets in between the two front seats, his entire upper body facing us. He looks as tired as I feel and has obviously had enough of Miss Sams and her bullshit.

"We know that when you met Mr. Grey in Portland that you were a stripper. I guess he likes his whores to not work such slutty professions and got you the job you were just canned from. Mrs. Grey feels that stripping for a living fits you well and graciously ensured that you have a job in your new home town of Kodiak up in Alaska. That is why you need a new wardrobe. We hear it is cold up there and you know you would hate for those fake tits to freeze into ice cubes and break into pieces. There are plenty of anglers up there and some military, as well, so the hole in the wall you will be shaking your ass in should stay busy. Just do not get the idea you can slip away. Kurt will not be the only unlucky bastard that has to watch over your whore ass. This night is over, so do not open your suck hole to say anything other than "Thank you, Mrs. Grey." Say. It. Now."

"Fuck you! You mother fuckers are kidnapping me and dumping me off in a fucking frozen hell and you expect me to thank her? What-fucking-ever!"

Luke manages to punch both of the front seats, causing us all to jump. I have never seen him this angry or behave this way towards a woman. If you want to call her a woman, that is. I wish that he were mad enough to shoot her.

"Never let me hear you call Mrs. Grey "her" again. She is a more or a woman than you could ever dream of being. Now thank Mrs. Grey. Say it, you fucking cunt. If you refuse, I am going to leave your ass in this dark parking lot alone. Remember that your unemployed and Mrs. Grey has seen to it that you are unemployable. You have zero dollars, no car, and no apartment. I will personally sit down with your brother and father, watch a playroom session with them, and then inform them of your chosen profession from the age of twenty until this past spring. In case you assume Grey will take you in, I promise that after tomorrow your name will be on a list that will keep you as far away from his as possible," Luke is snarling at her. "Choose wisely and do it quickly. I will drag you from that backseat and toss your ass on the ground, although I would prefer not to, considering you are probably eaten alive with STD's. The clock is ticking and I am very impatient."

Haley Sams has laid her head back on the seat and still has not replied, although she has finally stopped crying. Luke is growing angrier by the second and I am afraid if Miss Sams does not do as he ordered, he really might put her homeless ass on the streets of Seattle. I have removed myself from the cat and mouse equation and have closed my mind to everything around me. I am so tired. I do not think Miss Sams is drawing a line in the sand over Luke's demand. I would guess that she is having an internal struggle to come to grips with her life prior to Christian Grey and how her life will now be after Christian Grey. My mind goes back to those two simple words it always does when it comes to Christian-collateral damage. No… Haley Sams is not Christian's collateral damage. She was a willing participant who read that very same contract as the prior four had. They had to be monogamous; but had to agree that he was a married man, and as such, would still be fucking his dumb ass wife. The only thing revenge I should take out on Christian is castrating him for being that dumb ass wife. Blind. Stupid. Dumb. In love with him.

Then again, why should Christian be castrated over my decision to remain in his home after that first night at Escala? Dr. Swann has told me it was the ten-year-old broken Anastasia that was trying to repair the broken four-year-old Christian. Was it really? Christian showed the beast within him that night, and when Taylor came to save me, I refused to leave. Refusing to leave, I tentatively approached that beast, thinking a kiss would act as a balm to his ravaged and violent soul. However, I can now look back and admit that I was deeply sexually attracted to Christian Grey from the first moment we shook hands. That tentative kiss was much more, and perhaps the fact that I was able to look away as he destroyed his office like a mad man was because it turned me on. I admitted to Dr. Swann that our first time together was rough and I enjoyed it. Christian never made love to me, it was always pure fucking to him, it was always rough, and I enjoyed a little bit of pain that it brought. That enjoyment was what led me to allow him to take that roughness further, although refusing to give in to what he really wanted, probably what he feels he has to have. I own that. I do not apologize for enjoying that aspect of a sexual experience, to each his own. I own being terribly insecure, that Christian would return to his previous sexual lifestyle if I did not provide him with what he wanted so many things I never wanted; things I had to disassociate myself from in order to do. Ironically, enough, sacrificing my self-respect and allowing my body to be Christian's plaything was still not enough. As I was left feeling bereft and humiliated, Christian was making me and our union a joke. He never respected me, and I will never know or understand why he just did not admit he wanted something more than I would give him. Why wouldn't Christian just say I would never satisfy him and divorce me? Yes, if that would have happened, I would have been heartbroken. Nevertheless, that broken heart would never have equaled the shredded heart he eventually left me holding. The why, the what, and all of the other reasons behind Christian's excuses for dragging my life and sanity through hell these past years do not matter. They do not concern or consume me. They are what they are, and they have nothing to do with who Ana is. They are who Christian Grey is, and I honestly do not give a fuck about him or his reasons. During our time together, Christian disregarded my intelligence. What he will discover tomorrow is how terribly wrong he always was- I have been two steps in front of him since April.

Once again, it is Luke's raised and annoyed voice that shakes me out of my thoughts. Turning to my left, I see that both Kate and Luke have exited the SUV and are impassively looking at Haley Sams, who remains in her seat with her head laid back. The intensity of our emotions has left the three of us weary. This is over and we never want to lay our eyes on this excuse for a human being again. Luke's need for her to thank me remains, although I do not care to even hear her voice. Luke just wants to humiliate her; I just want her gone. Finally, she sits up and starts to exit the vehicle. Katherine puts her hand on her chest and stops her.

"Thank Mrs. Grey for her generosity." Luke exclaims. "I have never struck a woman Miss Sams…" He trails off, gritting his teeth.

Likely feeling a violent hostility rolling off Katherine in waves and resigning herself to her fate, Christian's submissive reluctantly turns to me. Haley Sams looks scared and tears are pouring from her eyes, as she is surely uncertain of what she is facing. Her hatred for me remains on her face, but she stands there stoically. She must be aware that her so-called apology should not sound bitchy or sarcastic, since her words are bland and empty.

"Thank you, Mrs. Grey," She says. "Before I leave, may I ask what you will want from me after this year of exile?"

Kate scoffs at her question and spares me from having to give her the time of day by speaking to her again.

"Sams, let me answer your question," She replies tiredly. "This comes from every single person that loves Ana…We. Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck."

With that, Samuel, who helps her into the backseat of his SUV, meets a defeated and sobbing Haley Sams. She is off to meet her destiny. A destiny brought upon herself due to her personal choices.

Miss Sams exits my presence, my life, and more importantly, my mind. I no longer have to concern myself with her, and if this is cruel of me or not, I honestly wish her nothing but the worst.

Luke does not leave the parking lot until Samuel's SUV is out of sight, and then he heads back to the Fairmont. Squeezing my hand, Kate sighs and lays her head on my shoulder.

We may be making our way to a hotel, but I am making my way toward tomorrow.

Making my way to him.

Anna's note: I know that I said I was going to divide this into 2 chapters. After my good friend, graypearls set me straight that a reader would either be riveted to the story and ignore the length, or could get up and take a break, (I adore her SO much) I just said screw it and left the story as is. This chapter's length has me curious if this next and final chapter will even be this long. However, you read it, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think.