OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY PEOPLE! Here's the next chappie! Read, enjoy, do whatever... I don't care... BUT MAKE SURE TO REVIEW! Thank you and goodnight.

Authoresshiding: Eh, that's ok if you're not into Star Wars. As for wondering how far I'm going to go with the line mix-ups, well... let's just say you might like THIS chapter! Mwa ha ha ha!

Chapter 6: The Council of poor Elrond. Not!

The next morning, Elrond held a council, the council was Elrond's, and it was called the council of Elrond. I think you get the point. Anyways, lots of dudes were there, and Aragorn was refreshed and had his only good outfit on.

Before the council started, Boromir passed Aragorn and looked at him. "Well, finally, you're in a suitable outfit for a change," he huffed, sinking back into his chair.

"You're not looking to bad yourself," replied Aragorn, "and when I'm king, I'll make sure that I, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, wear only the finest of outfits." He brushed himself off, and glanced haughtily at Boromir.

"Sheesh, it's not like we already know that you are Arathorn's son," Gimli said, coming into the room.

"Don't you talk to him that way, Dwarf!" Legolas shouted, "He is Arabum, son of Araglum. You owe him your allegiance." He looked very proud of himself and smoothed out his hair.

"Fool of an Elf!" yelled Aragorn, "My name is not Arabum!"

"Wicked Men!" shrieked Gandalf, running into the council, "Servants of Sauron, You stole MY line!"

Boromir giggled, much to the annoyance of Aragorn. "I don't know, that name seems to fit you perfectly, Arabum."

Aragorn was furious, and drew his sword. "I will feast on your flesh," he hissed, drawing nearer to Boromir.

Frodo bounded up to Gandalf and started punching him. "What do you know about destroying a ring? NOTHING, and you stole my baby Sméagol's line! How dare you, old fool!"

"Egads!" yelled Gandalf, "Get this shrimp off of me!"

"Never," Aragorn yelled, "You called me a Servant of Sauron! Who are you to call me a name; you owe me your allegiance!"

"I bow to no one, least of all to a whiny pouty puss!" screamed Gandalf.

"Everyone, follow me into Mordor!" called Frodo above all the commotion.

All the guys stared at him.

"Though, I do not know the way," he finished. Everyone sighed in relief, for they thought that they would actually be going along with the movie for once. But their thoughts were blackened when Frodo continued, "Though, I do not know the way to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts, and I want the new cinnamon stick!" he bawled, dropping to the ground.

"Oh BROTHER!" shrieked Gandalf, "Here, I have one from earlier." He thrust it into Frodo's hand, and Frodo stopped crying.

"But you have to share it!" Cried Boromir, "I'm still hungry."

"But you had lembas bread!" said Legolas, "Which should be enough for you, since you had three of them!"

"How many did you eat?" Boromir asked Aragorn.

"Four," the latter replied proudly, straightening out his outfit and looking very snooty.

"I'm starving!" yelled Boromir. "I ain't had nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!" He then saw the cinnamon stick, and a wild gleam came into his eye. "What 'bout that?" he said, "That's fresh!"

"That is not for eating!" yelled Gandalf.

"Why not?" cried Boromir. Then he tried the nice-nice approach. "What I mean, Frodo, is that I will help you bear that burden as long as it is yours to bear." He stood next to Frodo.

"OH, no you don't," cried Gandalf, "you don't steal a wizard's line and get away with it!" He started to beat Boromir with his staff.

"AhHOUCH!" yelled Boromir, covering his head.

Frodo had already finished most of his snack, and Aragorn said, "Hey, there will be none left for the return journey!"

"I don't think there will be a return journey, Aragorn," Frodo said sadly, slowly munching the last of the stick.

Pippin came in with Merry and said to Gandalf, "Let him go, or I'll have you, Longshanks!" he balled his fists, and jumped on Gandalf, who had poor Boromir in a headlock.

"EVERYONE, STOP STEALING MY LINES FOR THE LAST TIME!" Sam shrieked at the top of his lungs.

All the men stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"Now, I want you all to apologize to each other," Sam continued, "Especially Gandalf."

"Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee, have you been eavesdropping?" Gandalf shouted.

"Certainly NOT," replied Sam, "But you should have said that earlier. NOW, are you going to apologize to poor Boromir?"

"Gandalf," Pippin sobbed, "Forgive me." He tried to hug him, and Gandalf looked a little embarrassed.

"Ah, all's well that end's well," Gandalf said nervously, patting Pippin.

"Hey, what about me?" Boromir asked, "Where is MY apology, Miffrandeer?"

"It's MITHRANDIR, you NUMBSKULL!" Gandalf yelled; "And for that, you'll get NO apology WHATSOEVER!"

"Wahhhhh," cried Boromir, "Aragorn, he's being mean to me again."

"QUIT being rotten to Boromir!" Aragorn shouted, "You're all dead, all rotten."

"Oh, AM I?" yelled Gandalf, "We'll just see about that!"

Elrond entered the room. "EVERYONE, SHADDAP!"

They all skittered back to their places, and Legolas said smugly, "Lord Elrond, I have been very good, and these pathetic humans have most unkind and disagreeable. I will take the Ring to Mordor."

Frodo ran up to Legolas and dumped it in his hands. "Here, take it," he said. Legolas looked very nervous and uncomfortable. "UM, never mind, I was only joking. No, Frodo," he said, giving back to Frodo.

"Take it!" Frodo yelled.

"No!" shouted Legolas.

"You must take it!"

"You cannot offer me this ring!"

"I'm giving it to you!"

"DON'T tempt me further!" screamed Legolas.

Frodo recoiled. "You were right, Gimli," he said sadly, "You tried to tell me, but, I'm sorry. Never trust an Elf, and I shall hold true to that." He put the ring back in his pocket.

"You told Frodo WHAT?" shrieked Legolas.

"N-nothin important," stuttered Gimli.

"GRRRR," growled Legolas.

"Am I hearing wrong, or was that conversation supposed to me with me?" asked Sam, annoyed.

Elrond motioned for everyone to be quiet, and they all settled down. But before he could speak, Boromir stood up.

"I think I should take it to Mordor, because I am strong, and I come from the prettiest city, of which one day I will be steward of! Have you ever seen it, lord Elrond? The white tower of Ecthelion, glistening like a streak of pearl in the sunrise, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of the trumpets?" He seemed to be in another world, obviously spacing out, so Gandalf decided to bring him back. He yelled, "Boromir!"

Boromir recoiled and went back to his chair, and Frodo was very freaked out.

Elrond said, "I have seen the white city; is there anyone else who has? Let's see who has and who hasn't, and the ones who have can all stay here and not go on the quest, except for the ones who live there or-" he cast a sneaky glance at Aragorn, "OR, are going to live there. The ones who haven't, well, to bad for you, but you're going on the quest whether ya like or not. Come on now, so we can get this thing over with, and so I can watch Star Wars again. I want to see Luke Skywalker use the Force. Raise your hands if you have!"

Aragorn raised his hand, and so did Boromir, Gandalf, and a few other guys.

"I have seen the white city!" Aragorn shouted proudly.

"As have I!" yelled Gandalf, "and since I do not live there, or am going to live there, I shall not have to go on the quest." He threw a smug look on Aragorn, who looked like he wanted to kill him.

"Nevertheless," said Elrond, "You are the only good wizard left, and if you don't go, who will be there to call Pippin a fool of a Took, or Boromir a big know-it-all, or Aragorn a pouty-puss, or Frodo a girly-girl, or-"

"OKAY, Elrond, we GET the point!" shouted Aragorn.

Legolas was whining and fussing with his hair. "Why should I have to go on the stupid quest, anyway? I am the son of an elf king, and I am too delicate for such things." He looked at a hangnail and started to sob when he saw it.

"Eh, you'll need some toughening up, girly-boy," said Elrond.

"I am not a girly-boy!" shouted Legolas, drawing out his knives.

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!" yelled Gimli, jumping up from his seat.

"Whoa, that was, like, totally outta the blue," said Aragorn. "Anyway, Frods, since you've decided to take the Ring to Mordor an' stuff, I guess I better wish you luck. Have fun, pal!"

"Oh no you don't," said Elrond, "You need some more experience with Sauron if you wanna marry my daughter, so you're going with Frodo, too."

"Aww, do I have to?" whined Aragorn.

Elrond gave him a stabbing knife glare, and never took his eyes off him as he skittered over to Frodo.

"All rightee, who'll be the next to sign up?" Elrond asked.

Silence filled the council and made it hard for anyone to say anything, because there was silence, and nobody spoke for a while, so everyone was silent, and...oh, forget it. Aragorn was glaring both at Elrond and Boromir, who was looking scared.

"No volunteers?" asked Elrond, "Fine, have it your own way- Major Boromir, you'll be going, Major Legolas, or should I make it Miss America Legolas? Major Gimli, you too, and also Cadet Sam, Cadet Pippin, Cadet Merry, and Sergeant Gandalf the Grey. Ok, did I get everyone?"

Frodo waved his hand, and Elrond called on him. "Um, I don't think you mentioned my name, Lord Elrond."

"That's Admiral Elrond to you," snapped Elrond, "but you're the one who's carrying the stupid Ring, anyway, right? Now then, you leave first thing tomorrow morning, at five o'clock sharp. And I don't want any stragglers; I have a city to run, and no tricks, either, understand? Good, now pack your things and get outta here." He waved them away, and took out his newspaper, not noticing that the three other hobbits were not there, and that the six other people were still standing there.

"Hmm, the Dow Jones is down," Elrond mumbled, fumbling with the paper. Then he looked up and saw them.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" barked Elrond, "Get to work!"

"But we don't know where Sam, Merry, and Pippin are," protested Frodo.

"Oh," said Elrond. "CADETS, GET YOUR BUMS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, OR YOU WILL BE EXPELLED FROM THE JEDI ORDER!"

"What?" said Boromir.

"Nothing," replied Elrond cheekily, blushing profusely.

Just then, they all heard a yell from the bushes. Sam popped out and said, "We're goin' on strike until you apologize for takin' my line and for not giving Bill a rank."

"Fine," sighed Elrond, "I'm sorry for taking your line and I give Bill the rank of- now wait just a minute, WHO IN THE HECK IS BILL, AND WHY AM I DOING WHAT YOU SAY?"

"Search me," replied Sam, "But Bill is my pony, beggin' your pardon, sir."

"I don't," replied Elrond grimly. "You have disobeyed, Cadet, and because of that you'll have to be Frodo's servant."

"Darn," said Sam sullenly, walking up to Frodo. "Hey," he said, glancing at him. Elrond carefully observed Sam for a few minutes.

"Why are you staring at me?" asked Sam.

Elrond motioned him over to his chair. Sam cast Frodo a frightened look and slowly shuffled over to Elrond.

Elrond got right in Sam's face. "Sam, since there are no people in this mission who are serious, I want you to be in charge of this Fellowship. And therefore," he said, raising his voice, "I promote you, Samwise Gamgee, to the honored rank of commander. You are now in charge of this mission. Go now and deal with them in what way seems best for you." He put his spectacles on and continued to flip through the paper.

Sam walked back to the Fellowship with a beaming face. The others, especially Gandalf, all gave him a glare that would freeze the pants off a patrol policeman. Sam ignored their scary stares and went off to go pack.

We-ell, whatdya think? Hm? hm? I won't know unless YOU tell me!