All rights to the characters and story of FSoG belong to E. L. James
Thursday, September 24th, 2015
Vancouver, Washington
Ana's POV
Resolutions
There is it is yet again.
It is resting on the table between Christian and me.
Only this time it is not a ruined white silk blouse that was once my favorite.
This time it is the cold and sober truth.
Yes, it is invisible as it lies on the table, although that fact does nothing to diminish its strength.
The strength is within the person who entered this room with all of the power.
Now there is not a reason for bemused looks. There is no longer a need to question whether or not there is an impending doom approaching.
Everyone in the room witnessed it and I am positive they will never forget it.
Christian no longer appears bored and is no longer treating me dismissively. His jaws are clenched and his face is one of thunder. Christian's arms are resting on the table and both of his hands are two tight fists. His body is over flowing with anger and I know that anger comes from a loss of control.
I am sitting directly across the table from Christian and accept the brunt of his fury. This man is bloodthirsty. A man so sanguinary, that Taylor is behind him, while Luke and Tom stand on either side of him. If he were in his right mind, he would never allow Luke or Tom near him. Luke was forced into helping Taylor and Tom as they tried to control Christian as soon as the video footage stopped. Taylor talked him down after the three men were finally able to subdue him.
Jason Taylor to the rescue once again.
So here we sit, watching one another, and waiting to see who breaks our stalemate. Christian is in the same place as I am. It is a dark, one-way tunnel where we are the only two people in the room. One person who is bland and has rid herself of all emotion and another person who is emitting a vicious desire to hurt me. However, I am no timorous little mouse and he can presuppose that I fear him all he wants to. That want is wasted.
I am calm and I have finally cleared my mind of what I was just forced to listen to. Cocking my head slightly, I gaze at Christian and wonder what it must be like to live inside his head. All of these months have passed him by and he believed he was in control of his supposed clandestine hours of fucking and flogging. What Christian now realizes is that he never possessed that control and those precious hours of his that he spent in a red room of pain were never clandestine. In fact, they were spectacularly controlled in high definition. It is not that Christian is embarrassed over that playroom footage and that is what has enraged him. What has enraged him is knowing that I trumped him. He was winning at his own secret game until I found out and started playing along, and I ultimately beat him.
Silence permeates the air as we continue to stare at one another. Christian's eyes are fiendish and I imagine the diabolical thoughts that are behind them. They are doing their damndest to bore into my head and break it apart. Although, that will not occur because my mind is impregnable, well built and secure. Christian's cannot gain entry and affect me anymore. Those days are long gone.
Ready to get this over with and get the hell out of here, I once again take control and break our silence.
"I cannot grasp the need you must be feeling right now, Christian. That obsession and compulsion that you have to punish. That rush of endorphins you need to feel as though you are in control of something or someone. I can smell that need from over here. I can see what is running through your mind right now. You are imagining yourself leaving this building and texting Haley Sams to be waiting on her knees for you at Escala. You have already thought up a scene and I am sure us normal people would find it barbaric. I hate to throw a monkey wrench in your plans. If you are not already aware, you will not be able to reach Miss Sams by phone. Miss Sams is like Elvis and she has already left the building." I say softly.
"What in the hell are you going on about? Left what fucking building?" He hisses.
I look up at the ceiling for a moment, placing an index finger on my lips and make a humming noise as if I am thinking about something.
"It means Miss Sams went bye-bye and you had better have Taylor drive you to your favorite BDSM club in Portland so you can find a new sub. You are in luck that we are so close to Portland. Just don't kill the poor brown-haired girl because she reminds you of me. It will not be some subs fault that you need a psychiatric evaluation. Hell, I would say you need immediate hospitalization."
"She went bye-bye? How fucking old are you, Anastasia? How about speaking like an adult and just spit out what you are dying to say."
I snort with derision because of his attitude. He is not the only CEO in the room and the second one is about to make her appearance known.
"Your well paid whore is gone, Christian. I took care of her and she is way past walking distance. I owed you another fuck you and Haley Sams was it. However, it turns out the girl was delusional and thought that Master loved her as she loved him. In my opinion, she was close to telling you that and we both know what a fuck up that would for her."
Christian narrows his eyes and I do the same. I know that it is childish, but I look at him and remember what an adolescent he is and mocking his childish behavior seems fitting.
"How do you know that?" Christian asks brusquely.
"Christian, how do you suppose that I know that? She fucking told me. Ask Kate and Luke if you do not believe me. They were there and heard your little waitress professing her deluded thoughts," I taunt him. Christian will never be allowed to forget that his sister-in-law knows everything.
Christian clenches his jaws again and it frustratingly makes me wish that they would break already so he would quit doing it.
"Katherine met…"
I look behind Christian and see the amused expressions that Luke and Tom share and giggle. Again, I am lucky that I am not close enough for Allison to kick me.
"Yes, Katherine met Haley Sams. Have Taylor or another one of your goon squad look into what happened at Canlis last night. They would inform you what when on while Kate and I tried to have a nice dinner. We are also the reason that Haley Sams was fired. However, who gives a fuck about that? You only want answers because you hate not knowing shit it isn't because you care. Right now, it would not matter if you did care. It is time for us to finish the chess game we have been playing. We have both been playing games that the other one did not know about. I will give you credit that you have been playing yours a lot longer than mine, but it is more than obvious that I didn't need the same amount of time before I could say checkmate."
I watch Christian's frustration take over and his fury subside. Here we goddamn go with his hands in his hair. The next man I fall in love with will be bald.
"Christian, stop working yourself into a panic attack. I have already told you that Kate knows the truth and she has since the night that I found out about you. Who in the hell do you think I went to and talked about all of that shit with? It sure wasn't The Pillsbury Doughboy! It was Kate. Do not pull out your copper waves worrying that she will tell Elliot. She never has and she has not during these past months. Kate was also kind enough to sign the NDA I had drawn up for her, although I seriously doubt you would sue your sister-in-law. As much as Kate despises you, she loves your entire family, along with her husband and she would never expose the truth concerning our divorce. Does your family think we are getting a divorce because you are a cheating bastard? Yes. However, that only came about when Elliot walked in while your whore was eating your dick. Just cool your heels over all of this. Thanksgiving will be a bit uncomfortable between you and Katherine, but other than that do not worry. For what it is worth, Christian, I hope you will not turn into that same dick who abandoned his family. They actually love you for you. Hell, even if you walked out of this room and admitted your lifestyle to each of them, they would still love you. You are the one who refuses to see that. I do not even think you want to understand why you shut yourself off from people who actually love you. Shit! Why am I offering the likes of you assurances of being loved? That isn't what the fuck we are here for." I say testily, annoyed at myself.
Christian leans back, crossing his arms across his chest, and smirks at me. He is nearing that invisible line between being cocky and not realizing he should watch the fuck out.
"Nancy Drew, I have got to hand it to you. I never thought you and your Polly Anna mind could come up with such intricate and downright devious plans. However, I cannot give you too much credit. I am sure if you had not had Sawyer's know how we would not be stuck in this quagmire. I am impressed with those obviously high tech devices installed at the penthouse and the second location." He replies in a sarcastic tone and words that crossed the border of insolence.
I raise my eyebrows and grace him with a genuine smile. Christian does not seem to like my reaction.
"Oh, so you refer to that condo as the second location? Oh, fuck you. You are not impressed with how anyone did anything. You are probably out of your mind over a few valid reasons. One, I was the one behind it all. Two, someone gained entry under the nose of your top notch security and installed some serious shit in those so-called playrooms of yours. Finally yet importantly, the aforementioned top-notch security had no fucking clue you and your lackeys were monitored by shit straight out of Star Wars. You idiots think you and your CCTV bullshit is bullet proof. Well, Christian, I guess you have learned the hard way that nothing is bulletproof," I say. My tone is tinged with an undercurrent of mirth. "Your fucked up head can believe I think like an innocent Polly Anna type of woman. But you are never going to forget that all women are a little violent under their pleasant ways."
His face gives nothing away, although if it did it would be pointless because I no longer give a shit. Our eyes connect in a manner that is disjointed. Just like the pretend Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey were.
"Are the divorce papers ready to be signed?" I ask no one in particular while never breaking eye contact with the King of Pain.
"Yes, Ana. All of the documents for the dissolution of the marriage are ready for you both to sign," Allison replies. "Along with the other documents you are required to sign."
Before I am able to open my mouth again, the smug bastard named Christian Grey grabs a pen off the table and is looking exceptionally pleased with himself. He needs to add that he is deaf, along with being smug and pleased. He obviously missed something quite important.
"Kirkland, give me what I need to sign. This day is over." Christian snaps.
"Mr. Grey, I strongly advise that we should pay heed to Ms. Kendall. Her client must have more to say…" Faulk interjects.
Well, Christian's attorney seems to have caught it.
"I am done with listening to her errant client. I said this meeting is over." He yells, sounding like a petulant child.
I find myself quietly laughing at Christian. I had already wondered if he was insane and now he has proven that he is. Does Christian think this day is over simply because he declared it so? He thinks he is just signing a paper ending our contract made in hell and then up and leave. Were his brains scattered throughout the room during the past two hours? Is his skull now vacant and he has no way to comprehend that my show and tell was not for shits and giggles. He is certifiable. Someone should have brought a straight jacket and a large injection of Thorazine.
"Are you that arrogant or just fucking stupid?" I ask.
He raises an eyebrow at me and remains silent. I suppose that eyebrow move was meant as a threat. Some threat that was, you stupid fuck.
"You do not intimidate me, Mr. Grey. Have you forgotten that we have unfinished business or are you blocking it from your mind? Trust me, if you think I blew your life out of the water for the hell of it, you are dumber than you look. So hang on to that pen until I am ready for you to use it. That is when you are going to need it."
Mr. CEO or Dominant or who the fuck really cares, steeples his long fingers in front of his mouth and studies me. No, Christian. This woman is not bluffing and you can shove that stupid finger thing you always do right up your ass.
"You must have not been listening while Ms. Kendall was speaking. She has more documents that require your signature, along with our divorce papers. Each piece of paper that makes up those documents are not meant to be paper airplanes. Every one of them is startling important and has a pretty little place at the bottom of it where your name is required. You are the boy genius CEO, so I don't have to tell you how this is going to work."
Christian is scrutinizing my now blank face.
"How what works, Anastasia?" He asks slowly.
"Acquisitions, Christian."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asks, his tone is now menacing.
"I am talking about every nauseating moment of this day. I am talking about every nauseating day I spent breathing the same air as you. I am talking about every single copy there is to every nauseating bit of information that our little group has had to endure today. Does that explain what I am talking about?"
Leaning across the table, Christian glares at me
"Oh, I see it now, Anastasia. Here I was thinking how weak your backbone is and was going to applaud you for the little show you have put on today. So go ahead and blackmail me for your little demands that you referred to earlier. Come on, I am dying to hear how much you want to line your pockets with." He snarls.
"You have no idea whether or not I want to line my pockets with anything. Drop the snarling dog act. You are the only person in this room who does not seem to know he is about to have his ass handed to him and if I were you I would let that sink in and shut the fuck up."
"Mother fuck…" He starts to say.
"What part of shutting the fuck up don't you get, Grey?" I ask loudly as I feel myself losing my temper. "You are going to listen to me and then you are going to do what I say, got it?
Whatever calm exterior I was expertly portraying just cracked wide open. Take it easy, Ana. Do not let your anger fuck with your thinking.
The Christian Grey leans toward me a bit further and I watch as the right hand of Luke Sawyer grabs his shoulder and pulls him back. Christian turns to him with lightning speed and Taylor latches onto Luke's arm in what look like a death grip. Before any testosterone is spilled, Tom quickly overpowers Taylor and in the blink of an eye, Taylor's arm is back at his side.
"I wouldn't try that again if I were you, brother." Tom tells Jason nonchalantly.
Taylor does not answer him, although he looks at me and then bends down, and whispers something to Christian, who does not utter a word to Luke. Jesus Christ, all three of these hulks are like the Bionic Man. I really believe there must be a factory near Seattle that builds them on an assembly line.
"I want each of you men to quit pissing on one another. We are fed up with this entire day and each scenario that we have dealt with. Mr. Grey, you and Ana need to finish this now. Not in fifteen or thirty minutes, but now. Ana, start talking." Bee Darlington snaps, angrily shoving her laptop across the table.
I remove my folded arms from the table, sit up in my chair, and calmly start to speak. My voice, my face, and my eyes are void of any emotion.
"Allison."
Allison strides to me and places four manila folders in front of me. Three of them are quite thicker than the last one. Christian watches impassively while I open the one of top and go to a page that has a red Post-it flag attached to it.
"Christian, your liquid net worth is thirty-six-point-seven billion dollars. This folder contains the necessary contract and a settlement agreement in which you are giving me eighteen-point-thirty-five billion dollars. You are a math whiz. You do not need a calculator to know that is a nice even half of your net worth."
Quickly sitting straight up, he looks at me incredulously, and his eyes dart to Kirkland and Faulk.
"You are out of your goddamn mind, Anastasia," He laughs sarcastically. "Did you walk into this meeting thinking I would hand you half of my money?"
"Mrs, pardon me, I mean Ana. Perhaps we can hash out another avenue that will not be so drastic. Mrs. Darlington, have you advised your client over this request?" Kirkland asks swiftly.
"Mr. Kirkland, what sort of question is that? Who do you suppose drew up the contract for our client? Captain Kangaroo?"
Kirkland's cheeks redden now that Bee has ruffled his feathers.
"Then I will speak freely. That so called demand your client just made is ludicrous and any prudent attorney would have advised her so." He rudely spits at her.
Bee transforms herself into something between The Wicked Witch of the West and Pinhead. I am even afraid of her.
"Yes, let us all speak freely, Kirkland. Let me remind you and your client how ludicrous he was in marrying without having an airtight pre-nup. Let me also remind you that you were his counsel when he married my client in 2012, and obviously, you were not very prudent with the legal advice you gave him then. I will also remind you, along with Mr. Grey, that had he wanted to protect every nickel of his empire, he would have kept his dick in his pants. We can knock heads with Grey for however long you like, he can refuse to sign shit, and you can all walk out of this building right now. But you know as well as I do, that it will be a matter of weeks before we are all facing one another in a courtroom and Ms. Kendall and I will present a hell of a lot of interesting shit to show a judge."
"Bee, you forgot to remind them that Mr. Grey could also have to answer to another judge concerning Hillary Declan's affidavit and her accusation of being physically assaulted by him." Allison throws in.
The room feels as uncomfortable as a whore in church must feel.
Christian was already pale as the driven snow, although he turned as white as a corpse at Allison's ominous words. He has turned in his seat and looking at his lawyer's.
"Is this bullshit? They cannot really present that shit in a courtroom can they? One of you had better start telling me what I want to hear before I kick both of you dumb mother fuckers in the street."
Mr. Faulk looks completely disgusted with his client. Then again, who isn't?
"No, Mr. Grey. None of this is bullshit, and yes, everything that we have had the unfortunate opportunity to learn today, can be presented to a judge. My esteemed colleague can have your wife file for divorce on grounds of adultery and has more than enough evidence to back that claim up. The position that you are currently in is the most favorable since you and your wife have decided to privately settle you divorce, as well as the fact that your wife filed for divorce claiming irreconcilable differences. Your mutual agreement of placing a gag order on the terms of the settlement is also in your favor," Faulk tells him. "If you cannot reach an agreement while handling the divorce amicably and privately, you can take your chances and go to court and a judge might not be so kind to give the proceedings a gag order. I have no need to tell you that would mean the proceedings would become public knowledge, along with any and all evidence provided by you or your wife."
We all watch as Christian stands up, and scrubs his face furiously. He is surrounded by Taylor, Luke, and Tom and has nowhere to go. He is loudly repeating a word that I do not make out and I will not be surprised if he starts to stomp his little feet. He literally scratches his fingers down his face and looks me directly in my face.
"Anastasia, there is another solution here and you do not have to handle this situation as you are. Take two seconds to reconsider this insane notion and we can figure something out." He says.
I would almost say that I see helplessness in the depths of those gray eyes and outright pleading in every one of his words. Nevertheless, I will also say that he is pulling the placate Ana card out of his ass and trying to fool me. The days of fooling me ended months ago.
"No."
"No?" He repeats.
"I could say fuck no, or even hell no. The answer is still no. No, I will not reconsider jack shit. We both know what a shrewd manipulator that you are. You do not need your beacons of legality to spell this out for you. I know how your mind works, Christian. You have been expecting the worst since I explained the orange salad dressing on a fucking white blouse. Quit pretending to be shocked. We were in this room together and we both watched what I kept stacking on your back. I am not backing down and so you can throw the dice and take your chances in a courtroom for all I care. So YOU take two seconds to weigh your options." I evenly and softly tell him while looking directly in his eyes.
Those eyes have widened and Christian places his palms down on the table, however, we are still staring one another. He is either speechless from actual shock or from mentally planning a counter offensive. Christian is a brilliant man. He understands there is not one.
"You are fucking serious aren't you?" He breathes.
Silently, I shrug my shoulders and confidently push a folder toward him in one fluid movement.
Christian's head drops and he begins to read the folder I opened for him. A speed-reader, he is through the first paragraph in seconds, raises his head, and looks around the room. Maybe he is looking for divine intervention. Although, I seriously doubt that the Lord will be swooping down from heaven to help Christian out of anything.
"It must be driving you mad that you know you have zero control over this." I say.
Christian remains mute and I am positive that he did not even hear what I just said. And to think that I am not even finished with him yet.
"Mr. Grey!" Bee says in a loud voice, tapping the end of her pen on the table impatiently. "What is your decision?"
Bee snaps Christian from whatever universe he had entered. They glare at one another.
"Mrs. Darlington, you ask that question as if I have a choice." He replies quietly, although I hear the anger that is burning underneath that deceptive quiet and calm tone.
"Then sign the settlement agreement." She replies.
Christian is once again holding the Mont Blanc pen I bought him during the time I was stupid and thought how sweet it would be to buy my loving husband an unexpected gift on a whim. I am not sure if Christian using that pen to sign over half of his fortune to me means anything or not.
His hand hovers over the line where his signature goes and I see when his eyes catch that I have already signed the document. Yes, fucker. I had no doubts how this would end. Christian looks at me with pure hatred that I know is pumping from where his absent heart should be. I may have had an epiphany standing in this room when I realized that I had intellectually accepted having my soul torn out, but had not in the deepest crevice in my heart, but after feeling and witnessing firsthand how much Christian actually hates me, I would not have needed that epiphany. He is more than driving that point home.
Christian scrawls his signature along the dotted line, using so much force I cannot see how the pen did not rip through the paper. Without the need of being told to do so, he flips the page up and signed the copy meant for his counsel. Christian shoves the folder halfway down the table and throws his pen along with it. He has one hand on his forehead, the other on his hip, and is back to muttering to himself.
I am too interested in watching Christian flail around without a stitch of control to pay attention to what Bee and Allison are talking about with the suits. A man such as Christian should be locked away and analyzed. How does someone become so dependent on controlling every aspect of their life that they mentally lose it whenever that precious control is taken? Is this the out of control fifteen-year-old boy that Elena Lincoln molested for six years? Six goddamn years. Well, it was no longer molestation once Christian turned eighteen, although it was still fucking sick. I suppose sick may breed sick. However, I think it is fitting to describe those two as evil breeding evil.
Jason must be the Christian whisperer since I watch him mutter something to him and Christian takes his seat and a long gulp of the bottled water beside him. I look at Taylor in disgust and shake my head.
"Really, Jason? You truly are pathetic." I say bitterly.
My attention of the Jason and Christian show is interrupted by the voice of Bee Darlington.
"This matter has been settled and is formally included in the divorce. Please, proceed, Ana."
"Mr. Faulk, can you pass Christian his pen back? When he hurled it down the table it landed right beside you."
"Certainly, Ana." Faulk replies kindly, although he cannot bring himself to look at me.
Christian begrudgingly yanks the pen from Faulk's proffered hand and then resumes glaring at me. I would actually say his expression is more of a murderous hatred rather than a glare; but his looks do not intimidate me anymore. To me, Christian Grey is mentally unbalanced and fucking pathetic. If anything, when he looks at me, all that I feel is pity.
"Christian, it is plain to see this next folder is considerably thicker than the previous one. There are several more pages for you to sign and they have all been marked for you as well." I explain to him.
"Mrs. Darlington, may I ask what your client is requesting now?" Kirkland asks, his concern evident, although his words are still heavily laden with disdain.
"Mrs. Darlington isn't the only attorney representing Ana. I can answer that question quite simply, the answer is no. They are hammering out their own settlement, and once they are finished, the four of us will take it from there. Does that answer suffice, Mr. Kirkland?" Allison asks, sounding like an utter bitch.
"Well, I suppose it will have to, Ms. Kendall." Kirkland replies haughtily.
The only pair of eyes that have not settled on my slight frame belong to Allison and Bee. The soul suckers eyes are using the Bat Signal to let me know that he is planning my murder, and his suits are looking at me apprehensively. Luke and Tom, who remain on either side of Christian, are using their eyes to tell me to remain strong, and conveying they will keep me safe once I open my mouth. The pair of eyes, those of Jason Taylor, are looking at me cautiously and he has already moved closer to the back of Christian's chair. He senses that he is going to have to grab him, and grab him quickly.
"Are the two of you done, Allison? If so, I can continue."
"We are, Ana. Go ahead."
I look very closely at the son of a bitch in front of me and take in every repellant feature about him. Every feature he hides behind his beautiful face that he uses to manipulate people with. I no longer give a fuck about the reasons why Christian is Christian. I no longer give a fuck to try to lead Christian away from his detestable behavior and ghastly choices. He is useless. Worthless. As he told me earlier, he knows he is only good for making money and beating whores. I feel my blood bubble with a slight bit of sympathy for him. Maybe he would have died or ended up in prison without Elena's so called help. It would have saved so many from suffering. It would have saved Christian from suffering.
However, the longer I stare at him that bit of sympathy vanishes when my head is once again filled with the voice of Hillary Declan and the sounds of my husband fucking and beating Haley Sams. Suddenly, I can see that Christian's belief that without Elena's bullshit help, that he would be dead is not really such a bad thing to believe. It is a shame Christian that is not dead. His body should be as dead as his heart, mind, and soul. He already lives in the prison that is his own mind and he deserves to. That prison is Christian's very own pool of hell and one that he refuses to attempt to swim out of. Christian enjoys his personal hell so much that he tried his best to drown me in it and did so without an ounce of shame.
I have been baptized in the ways of Christian Grey, and feel no shame or anticipate feeling any remorse, once I open up the folder.
Without preamble, I nuke his entire world.
"You are going to give me fifty-one-percent of GEH, Christian. Which as you already fucking know, means that I will own it." I say dryly.
Before I am even able to take my next breath, Christian is wrapped in three pairs of muscular and powerful arms. My flat affect stays in place and I watch with empty eyes as he unsuccessfully struggles against Taylor, Luke, and Tom, in what seems like a war that goes on for ages.
"You should call your security, ladies." Faulk says, practically vomiting on his own panic.
"Ana?" Allison calls out loudly, trying to be heard since the room is encompassed with the roaring barrage of profanities Christian is hurling at me.
"That won't be necessary, Ms. Kendall." Luke says, at the very moment he wraps Christian into a chokehold.
Now Christian cannot call me a bitch, cunt, or slut. On the other hand, Christian cannot breathe so easily either. Luke does not even attempt to hide how much he is enjoying that he is finally inflicting bodily harm on his former boss.
Oh, fuck.
"You are going to mother fucking kill him, Sawyer, "Taylor yells, as he does his best to extricate his employer from Luke's arms that must be stronger than the Jaws of Life. "Goddamn, Luke! Let him go! Do you think I will let him hurt Ana?"
Luke's eyes dart to Taylor and are full of vehement and violent hatred. He never loosens the death grip he has on Christian.
"You son of a bitch! You have been hurting Ana for fucking years!" His roaring voice tears through the room. "Shut your fucking mouth before I do it for you!"
"Let up, man! You are choking him out, Luke! Luke! Let the fuck up, Luke!" Tom yells even louder as he joins Taylor's valiant attempt to save the life of his employer.
Luke is rapidly rendering Christian unconscious, although Taylor and Tom are trying in vain to physically take him to the floor.
Snapping out of my disassociated state, the serious ramifications of this newfound insanity hits me, and I jump to my feet.
"Luke!" I scream. "Let the bastard go!"
Luke looks in my imploring eyes that are begging him to stop and releases Christian instantly, causing Taylor and Tom to have to catch him before he crumples to the floor, gasping for breath and his face blood red. Kirkland and Faulk make haste as they rush to Christian with bottled water. Their horror at this circus is palpable and they are positively terrified of Lucas Sawyer.
Just as I am about to round the table and get to him, Luke shakes his head and points at my chair, indicating for me to sit back down. He snatches one of the bottles of water meant for Christian and nearly guzzles it all down at once.
"Gentlemen, since my law firm has been turned into a boxing ring, if someone does not bring Christian Grey under some sort of control, I will not bother with security. I will call the police and have his sorry ass arrested," Bee says. "I cannot believe this man was raised by Carrick Grey and behaves like a rabid animal!"
"Ma'am, please give Mr. Grey a moment to collect himself. I give you my word that there is no need for police intervention." Taylor replies.
Yeah, Jason. Protect your boss to the very end.
Floating around my surroundings, I am not processing anything that is going on around me. I can hear as the chaos gradually erodes, I can see the suits flabbergasted expressions, and Taylor talking Christian off the ledge of insanity. Kneeling before his boss who has practically melted into his chair, Taylor is holding onto Christian's shoulders. He is speaking freely and openly to him and I even hear Taylor ask Christian if he should go get Grace. Yes, Christian. Let him go get Grace instead of drowning in your loss of control. Let her help you, love you, and bring you out of your own head. Christian refuses.
I have no idea how much time passes until the suits quit the blustering, or Bee stops threatening Jason that she will not hesitate to call the police on his employer, or Allison removes her arm from where she had it wrapped around my shoulder, and when the raging anger vanished from Tom and Luke's faces. It is only when I am startled back into my body by the surprisingly soft murmurings of both Bee and Allison, who keep repeating my name, that I realize it appears the room has rewound itself and I am once again facing Christian, who has somewhat gathered his composure and is facing me once again. However it happened, whoever threw his mind back into his body, is unclear to me. Yet, here he is again, staring at me, blankly, pale, and knowingly defeated.
Do I have the self-control to keep from faltering at this point? Does Christian Grey have the self-control from faltering with any decision or choice in his world? They are the same question with two different answers. Staring at him with the same type of flat affect that I have numbed myself to possess, I inhale my inner, yet unwanted, CEO, and mold my mind with his. The tragic confusion on Christian's face matches his glazed over and haunted eyes perfectly. It is looking into a mirror and seeing how I have looked and felt since an exceptionally beautiful day in April. Does he deserve to feel this? Does he deserve to feel the way that he will once I push him further? Do I deserve to feel the way that I do right now? Did I deserve to be made to feel the way I have since laying my eyes on that little red Audi? Another set of similar questions with two different answers.
"You're really going to do this?" Christian asks in a strained voice and gazing at some faraway place over my head.
I take so much time before I answer him that I feel the tension of everyone in the room land squarely onto my shoulders.
"Yes, Christian. I really am." I reply my voice has been vanquished of emotion.
Christian looks and feels like Ana. Ana looks and behaves like Christian.
Karma.
"Listen, I know what I am and what I did…" He says, finally looking at me.
I raise my hand to stop him.
"The time for explaining what you believe that you are has long since passed. Your attempts to excuse what you did flew out of the window with the number of fucks that I no longer give. In fact, there should have never been a time for stuttering excuses for your behavior at all. You knew from day one what you wanted and those supposed needs you claim that you cannot live without. You chose to suck me into your life anyway, Christian. So here I am. I am where you placed me. I am ingrained into your life and will not be cast away so easily. You see, Christian, I am not a contract that you can simply choose to terminate at will."
"You cannot do this, Anastasia. Take every fucking cent I have. But do not do this."
"I can do this, Christian. In your wedding vows, you pledged that what was yours was now mine. It isn't my fault that you didn't mean it, although it is your fault that I believed it." I reply.
Christian is maintaining his composure surprisingly well, although he continues tearing at his beautiful copper waves. Christian Grey and all of his power and control have been hit head on by a train and he knows it.
"What can I fucking do, Anastasia? Please, tell me what I can fucking do?" He asks, sounding desperate.
I audibly gasp. Christian Grey just said please. Christian Grey is practically begging.
"You can fucking sign the papers. Not in five minutes or in thirty minutes, Mr. Grey. Now."
His gaping shock over my lack of emotion or a drop of feelings is blatantly evident. I am no longer the Ana he knew. The Ana he fucked over.
I take my time in pushing everything he needs to get this over with. Christian looks at it with abject terror that is mixed with impending anger.
"Pick up the pen and sign it, Christian. If you do not, then either Tom or Luke will send a text message to a brilliant IT man I employ now, and those playroom recordings will be on the Internet within seconds. Your snake in the grass Barney will not even be able to remove them. Do not forget what I gave you earlier when we alone. I told you those were copies and I promise they will fall into the hands of some hungry journalist. I am not fucking around with you, Christian and if you mistakenly ignore that, then you will light the fuse to the bomb that will destroy your life."
"Goddamn you, Anastasia!" Christian yells, pounding his fists on the table.
His sudden outburst does not make me flinch in the slightest. I look past Christian and dispassionately stare at Luke, who has his phone in his hand. I glance over to Taylor who is looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I am too numb to wonder why or to even give a fuck.
Christian whips around to face Kirkland and Faulk as if to offer him a hand to keep him from drowning in his self-made ocean of powerlessness.
"Can she?" He spits, each word dripping acid tinged desperation.
Kirkland remains stoically silent, and Faulk, who stares at Christian with a newfound sense of disgust, merely nods.
Christian is covering his face with his hands and with a disinterested thought, I wonder if he is hiding an emotion instead of his inability to cope with being stripped of all control.
"Christian." I say.
He removes his hands and looks at me with disdain.
"You will pay for this, Anastasia. From the moment you walk out of this building until your dying day, you will pay for this." He quietly threatens me.
I just slightly shake my head and point at the pen.
"No, I won't."
With a tremulous hand, whether it is from his raging anger or pure desperation, Christian takes the pen I bought on a whimsy, and signs his name, giving me ownership of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc. His baby. His dream. His long and uphill battle to success. His kingdom. His multi-billion dollar empire.
Faulk reluctantly removes the documents from Christian's grasp, takes a seat, and begins to peruse through them. While the suits communicate with legal jargon, I cross my arms and rest them on the table. Christian is staring at me as though I am a loathsome piece of filth.
"I am going to destroy you, Anastasia. I am going to destroy you slowly and painfully. I am going to torture you until you are begging me to…" Christian begins to say through gritted teeth.
Now my numb and emotionless mind is allowed to fall into a far away recess and I allow myself to feel the power to twist the knife a bit harder.
I laugh bitterly at him, eyes dancing with mirth, and set the stage to pour down more pain.
"Shut the fuck up, Christian. You aren't going to do shit and your bullshit threats do not frighten me." I say. "But let me tell you a thing or two over what will be happening shortly."
"Don't be too confident, Anastasia. You have just fucked with the wrong man and you goddamn know it. Remember these words, I am going to rip you apart limb by limb, Anastasia. It is now my life's sole mission. I will fucking ruin you and I will let you watch Ray suffer with whatever I decide to do to him. It is a shame that your mother is a worthless bitch that let her boyfriend fuck her ten-year-old kid. If she wasn't already worthless scum she would be once I was finished with her." He says coldly, viciously.
He is now mirroring the way I am resting on the table. His words fly over my head and around my body. They mean shit to me. What he says about Carla does not affect me the way he is affected when his whore mother is mentioned.
I slowly clap my hands at him.
"That was a beautiful soliloquy, Christian. You sure can speak big words for a four-year-old parading in the body of a grown man. Your attempt to hurt me by throwing Carla and my molestation as a child up does not bother me anymore. Since I am a rational human being and knew that it was time to get help in dealing with my problems over my past, I sought help and it fucking works. Whereas you, Christian, still cry in your sleep because you smell your mothers rotting corpse and vividly watch the skin on her whore ass turn from blue to putrid green. I do not even have to bring up when her pimp finally returned and beat the ever-loving fuck out of you. Therefore, you can take those words home with you and think about them in the darkness of your bedroom. The freaks always come out at night, don't they?"
My words hit their mark, and I watch as his determination wipes away the emotions they brought up, and he puts back on his ferocious expression. The long ago sins of Christian's mother still burn him with white-hot fire and I have no hesitation to stoke that fire. He swallows hard, grabs another bottle of water, and takes a large drink.
"Allow me to return to what I was going inform you of. You should be aware of the upcoming changes concerning GEH. And don't interrupt me or I might get angry and tell Luke to send that text message that will light the Internet on fire," I softly say. "I am going to take your private company and make it public. I am going to hire a board of executives, and then investors are going to be able to buy shares of GEH. I will keep you on and call you the President of GEH just to appease your ego, although by then you will have already lost your mind and will be in a padded room. How much of a fucking nightmare is that going to be, Christian? Only it will be the sort of nightmare that you cannot wake up from."
I watch as Christian deflates and falls back into his chair. He is looking at me as if I have grown two heads, along with contemplating a multitude of ways to end my life. I smile at him. It is a huge and genuine smile.
"You wouldn't…" He breathes.
"Yes, I would and I will. Do not start whimpering over it. You still have billions of dollars and you will have another multi-billion dollar company in no time. You see, Christian, I am going to finish doing to you what you did to me. I am going to dismantle you in the same fashion you acquire companies and callously dismantle them. You dismantled me in the same manner, didn't you? So I feel the need the reciprocate. You were methodical in the way you went about trying to acquire me. Because that is what you set out to do, acquire me like I was a company. I know that you did a background check on me the day we met at the Fairmont. I cannot prove it, but I have no doubt that you intentionally invited me to the opening of The Mile High Club. I would bet my right arm that when I literally ran into your goons as I headed downstairs to the club, it
was no coincidence. Your love of CCTV makes me almost certain that you were watching me the entire night and set up running into me. Want to cleanse your sinful soul and admit that, Christian?"
"Fuck you, Anastasia." He sneers, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs.
"I'll take that as your admission. You stalked me until you had me where you wanted me and then began to break me into pieces as you do to those companies you rip away from their owners. Day by day, and year by year, you made your plans and went about breaking me down and tearing me apart. I would guess that even today, you have sat in that chair and imagined how hurt I was when I found out my life was a comic book and have enjoyed imagining my pain. Well, you can look at me now and know that I am imagining how you feel and that I am enjoying the mother fucking shit out of it." I say, doing my best to sound bored.
"The only thing you should be imagining is what I am picturing doing to your body and every blow that I bring down on you." He hisses.
Laughing at him, I lean back in my chair.
"Dream on, Christian Grey. It will never be my body. You will be the one trapped in the pathetic cycle of hunting down Ana look a likes to beat the fuck out of. You are the sad little boy trapped on a treadmill that is your past. Christian, you will do nothing other than be a lonely and closed up shell of a person who is going to die without ever knowing what happiness or love feels like. You say you do not want what you refer to as normal, and perhaps you do not. However, if there is a little spark within you that does, know you will never experience it. I hope that you live until you are back to shitting in diapers and never experience a loving or positive feeling. I hope your dying thought is what a waste of skin and bones you were and how your life passed you by and that no one will give a fuck that you are burning in hell."
Christian blinks rapidly and the mask on his face slips a fraction, although he hides behind it again quickly before anyone other than me can catch it.
He does not reply.
"You have nothing. You have the billions you need to build yourself back up, but other than that you are empty and you can thank me for it. I have spent months silently dismantling you and your life the same way that you did mine. I have methodically planned and plotted everything that has led the two of us where we are at right now. I am the reason that you and your security idiots ran around in circles looking like fucking idiots. My God, how Kate and I laughed at the lot of you when Luke would describe each of you turning in circles like dogs chasing their own tails. I played and manipulated you until I have taken every bit of control you have ever had or ever felt. You have about as much control as that kid with his filthy blanket did," I barely say as I begin to laugh. "Shit, that little boy from Detroit actually had it better than the big billionaire from Seattle does. Do you want to know why? That little boy from Detroit was rescued and saved by an angel by the name of Grace Trevelyan-Grey. However, the big bad billionaire cannot be rescued. There is not an angel that is going to drop from heaven and try to heal you with love. Are you interested in knowing why that is? It is because you are like Dorian Gray and made a pact with the devil. You enjoy living in the dark along with the demon's you hold so dear, and that is why a pure and loving angel will never, ever rescue you again."
When I cannot get him to even open his mouth to threaten me, I realize it is time to wrap this up. I have to press on though. I must press on so that I can finish this and he has been decimated and this can all end.
"You have lost your precious empire and your prized control. I have rendered you impotent. There is nothing that you can do to change any of this, and you know it. Tell me one positive thing about your life, Christian. However, you cannot, can you? You have no concept of love, giving it or feeling it. You will never be happy nor will you ever bring anyone happiness. You will continue to exist in custom-made suits and live in the most expensive penthouse in Seattle and Jason will enable your sickness. The only thing you have is a shit load of damning proof that will be hanging over your head for the rest of your life. I am leaving you a very thin tightrope to walk on, Christian. Do not become complacent or think that I no longer have you exactly where I want you. Take that into account if you ever consider pissing me off in the future." I say.
Those beautiful gray orbs are empty. It is over with and I have no further reason to carry on. I give it a moment to marinate before going forward. Once again, the silence around us is deafening and the only people in the room who have the heart to look in our direction are Bee and Allison. Luke and Tom have even torn their eyes from the emasculated Christian Grey.
"Ladies, are we ready for our clients to sign the divorce papers? It appears your client is finished here." Kirkland asks.
"Are you ready to do this now, Ana?" Allison asks.
"Yeah, I am. I think he's had enough."
I flip open yet another folder that I once again slide to Christian.
"Jason, snap your fingers in front of that assholes face and bring him back to reality," I say. "Christian! Pay fucking attention and read the goddamn document and then fucking sign it."
Christian's eyes are still vacant, although he cautiously begins to read the document before him. He scans the paper quickly and his eyes shoot to mine in shock. It is obvious Christian is still reeling from the trauma I just inflicted upon him, as he still has no voice.
"Did you really think I would do that, Christian?"
I note that Bee and Allison are handing the same document to the suits. After reading it, both of the men gape at me.
"Christian!" I yell and snap my fingers at him.
"Do you expect me to thank you?" He asks his words are hollow.
"No, not at all, Christian. You are too much of a bastard to do that, although I know you are probably feeling something strange, and that feeling is what a normal person refers to as gratitude."
"Gratitude?" He replies, smirking at me.
It appears that the soul sucker has re entered his body and is back to being his asshole self. I roll my eyes at the cocky fucking idiot who is so egotistical that he refuses to thank me.
"I could explain what the word gratitude means but I won't waste my breath. Just sign the damn paper and then we can sign the divorce papers and be done with one another."
"Why did you do this?" Christian asks.
"Because I could. Are you going to sign it or sit here and play twenty questions? Frankly, I have spent more than enough time in the same room with you and I want to leave."
Christian looks at his suits in his normal hostile fashion. The Christian Grey is back amongst the living.
"Did you read through this? Is this binding or some bullshit trick?" He barks.
"It is binding and all legal. I read the entire document and it voided everything in the previous one you signed and you are still the sole owner and CEO of GEH." Faulk replies.
Christian returns his glare back to me and narrows his eyes.
"So you just fucked with me, Anastasia? You fucking force me into giving you my company and get off as you describe how you are going to sell it off. If you think my promise of bringing you down is voided like that previous bogus document you are sadly mistaken." He snarls at me.
His inability to recall that he is still sitting in a pile of his own shit amuses me and I cannot stop myself from smiling at him.
"Christian, Christian, Christian. Do you keep forgetting or do you just refuse to believe that I will not plaster those recordings to every sick BDSM and porn website out there? Do you really believe that Hillary Wilkins Declan will not actually file that affidavit against you? Because I will in a heartbeat and she will as well. Your promises and threats are a joke and you know it. You know that you do not have a peg leg to stand on and the first whisper that I hear of you trying to do shit to me or anyone that I love will be a day you will never recover from. That, Christian is a promise."
"You must really be proud of yourself, Anastasia. I am glad to see that I introduced you to what having unlimited money can buy you."
"Oh, I am proud as fuck at myself, although it isn't because of money. Once again, I could not give a flying fuck that I married a billionaire. I would rather be the wife of a garbage man and have less than a grand in the bank than have wasted my time with you!" I snap loudly. "But I am going to explain to you why I am proud of myself Christian, and once you think about it, and realize it is the truth, you are going to hate yourself more than you already do. Do you want to hear it?"
Christian remains fucked up enough to sit there staring at me smugly with a smirk on his lips.
"Why not? Be my guest and bore me to death." He says sarcastically.
"You know how long and how hard you desperately tried to break me and make me your submissive? Do you remember how much time and effort you took as you tried to turn me into what you wanted? Can you recall how you did everything you could to exploit those few things you introduced me to that I enjoyed, and thought that by doing so I would eventually let you beat me? How many days, weeks, months, and fucking years did you try to exert total control over me, yet you never could," I say, smiling broadly at him. "You tried every trick in the book to do….Oh, how did you describe it? Oh, yes. You described it as bringing me to heel. You admitted that making a fool out of me was bringing me to heel and was punishing me, although we both know that is bullshit. These past few years have been nothing more than a waste of your time as you tried to get me to submit to you and do whatever it is you wanted. You could not find a way to punish me, so you had to look elsewhere and pretend it was me that you were hurting. But it wasn't me, was it Christian?"
He is looking at me intently now and that smirk has disappeared. Maybe he can see where I am going with this.
"What I am pointing out to you is how ironic and downright hysterical it is how this all played out. You spent what, Christian? Over three years trying to bring me to heel, to submit to you, to punish me, and to force me to do whatever you said, and you failed completely. You never got what you wanted, did you? Sure, you hurt me and brought me to my knees when I found out our marriage was never jack shit. However, that isn't what you really wanted was it, Christian? Nope, you wanted me as your whipping post. You craved to force me to submit to you as your whores do. However, you never could do it. The Christian Grey failed miserably."
He runs a hand through his hair and scoffs sarcastically.
"That's your point, Anastasia? Am I supposed to give a fuck about that or even give a fuck about you? Because trust me, I do not."
"No, that is not my point, Christian. My point is that you had all of those years...All of that time to get what you wanted, and you did not have the capability to do so. You underestimated little Anastasia Rose Steele," I outright laugh at him. "The point that I am making is the fool I made out of you. You could not bring me to so- called heel, or make me submit to you in all of that time. Now, look around this room. We have been in here for way too many hours; but then again, it has only been HOURS. Christian, it has taken me HOURS to bring YOU to heel. I had you submit to me in HOURS. I punished you in HOURS. Hours, Christian. You have had to submit to my every demand or be severely punished for not doing so. I brought you to heel by taking away every bit of control you have. You had no control, did you Christian? What I find so funny is that you never will have your control back. How did it feel to know you were at someone else's mercy? I have sat here as your Master and tied you to a St. Andrews Cross and have done everything I wanted to do to you, and you have had to take it. The best part is that you will continue to submit to me because of what I have got on your ass. So sit back, and chew over that for a minute and obsess over your failure, as I know you do when things do not go your way. Because we all know nothing has gone your way this entire day nor will it in the future. You have been my little submissive today, Christian. You did not become my little whipping post by choice, although I still had the pleasure of watching you have to take every blow I handed out. Now THAT is the point I had to make."
"You are a fucking bitch, Anastasia! God, what I would fucking like to do to…"He snarls.
"Watch it, Grey. I told you to watch your filthy mouth when you spoke to Ana." Luke says quietly.
"Don't worry about it, Luke. He is full of hot air and has an empty soul. That is all that I need to know. Bee, I am beyond ready to end this marriage. Is everything in this last file ready to be signed?" I ask.
"Yes, my dear. Just go to the flagged pages, you can both sign it, and we can call this horrible day over."
Grabbing a pen, I quickly find where I am to sign my signature, and then pass it over to Christian.
"Have you read this? Do we have copies of this before I sign it?" He asks, addressing Kirkland and Faulk.
"Of course, Mr. Grey. It is cut and dry. The settlement Ana requested was already included in the document. There is no need to re draw the papers. You only have to sign them." Faulk answers him.
Christian's eyebrows furrow.
"The settlement? Are you referring to those fucking buildings she wants for some fucking reason?"
Both suits clear their throats and look horribly uncomfortable. They are waiting for the volcano to erupt.
"Yes, the properties she wanted; along with the cash settlement." Faulk responds.
Christian whips his head back to face me. Again, if looks could kill….
"That money wasn't re gifted or voided, or whatever the fuck they called it, along with GEH?" He roars so loudly that Kirkland's bastard ass flinches.
"No, Christian. I am keeping that money." I reply dully and shake my head no.
"You money hungry...I told you that you were spoiled to what I brought into your broke ass life! Now you prove it by taking away money that I earned through years of hard work! Doesn't that make you feel the slightest bit like a common whore?"
I raise my hand so Luke will shut his mouth that is half way open.
"Christian, you have no idea what that money is for. It might stuff my bank account or help me buy a villa at Lake Como in Italy. Then again, it might be for a completely different reason. And as I have said many times today, it is none of your concern." I hiss. "Trust me, Grey. That money does not compare in the least when it comes to what I have on you, everything that I am trigger happy to ruin you with. Go on and live your pathetically lonely life, but never stop looking over your shoulder when it comes to me. I own your ass, Christian. You are my bitch. If you believe there are not multiple copies of each sickening piece of shit that I have, then you are a goddamn idiot. Kate and Luke signed NDA's as well as I did, but I will be honest and admit that signing that piece of paper does not mean shit to me. I will gladly release those high def recordings on the Internet and have your fucked up ass sue me, and for the sole reason that the damage will already be done. In addition, even if all of your fucked up shit hits the fan, who says Hillary Declan will not be at the King County courthouse filing some serious and very public charges against you? You are not ever going to do shit to me, regardless if I rent a billboard with a picture of you using a cat on Haley Sams. Oh, and another thing Christian, you are aware of three people who signed those useless NDA's, although you do not know if there is anyone else who knows all about you and this fucked up shit, and that never signed anything. Even if I do not drop the other shoe, do not assume that there is someone else out there who will."
"What is that supposed to mean? Who else knows?" Christian demands. "Tell me!"
Shrugging my shoulders at him, I never answer him. I will let him ruminate on that idea for the rest of your life.
Seconds pass while the jerk off attempts to intimidate me with mean and scary looks, although I can see my words have left Christian unsettled. I am inwardly shaking my head at how asinine his threats have been and meet his gaze straight on. I use an index finger and gesture for him to wind this bullshit up.
Finally.
With the same raging force that he used to sign the previous document, Christian signs each required page and growls the entire time. Once he has signed his John Hancock, he slings the folder to his suits, who give the proper copies to Bee and Allison.
It is signed.
Done.
The long and relieving exhalation that I have needed since April.
In ninety days, it will be officially over.
Our dirty little joke will be dust in the Seattle wind.
I will finally be free.
Luke and Tom practically push Taylor out of the way, as they make their way to where I am still sitting. I take Tom's proffered hand as he politely helps me stand, and we make our way to Bee and Allison, who are filling me in on a few inconsequential details. Of course, Christian is across the room swearing and acting like the spoiled child that he is. I catch Luke shaking his head at him in disgust and then he walks over to Taylor.
"By the way, Jason, I know that you have been frustrated that you have been stuck in this room so long that you haven't had the opportunity to scramble Grey's security to tear apart his playroom. I know that you are salivating to get your hands on the shit that was planted right under your nose. I just want to say that you can spend all week ripping the walls down, although I will tell you to not waste your time. Everything has been removed and the entire place wiped clean. I just thought I would offer you some friendly advice. You and Grey should probably look into a better security measures." Luke tells him, wearing a huge and sarcastic grin on his handsome face, which then disappears, "What you did to Ana is unforgivable and I don't understand why you did it, Jason. Look at all of the people you helped Grey hurt. Shit, look at Gail and think of how you hurt and disappointed her. I will never understand any of it."
Luke shakes his head at a silent Jason Taylor, and then he strolls back to where are gathered, as Allison lets me know what to expect in the upcoming weeks. We all begin to make our way out of the room when I realize that I have left my purse behind. Reaching down to grab it, I stand back up and I find Christian staring at me. He is not looking at me maliciously. There are no daggers thrown from his eyes. His face wiped clean of his usual smug or impassive expression. Christian's gaze is one that puzzles and startles me at the same time. He does not appear to want to say anything to me. Through his anger, Christian almost appears lost. At first, I think he was simply staring into space and I just happened to walk into that space, but then it becomes apparent that he is studying me as I study him.
I have his destiny in my back pocket and I know that he is studying me to figure out how that came to be.
Bee and Allison have already left the room, followed by the suits. The only ones who remain are Christian and I, along with three hulking men who are probably itching for a reason to break out into a brawl. I can feel Luke and Tom are waiting for me to turn and around and exit the room.
I allow another moment to pass as I curiously look at my almost ex husband and his bitterly defeated behavior. Is this what it looks like when a sociopath mourns? Shouldn't Christian consider himself lucky? I could have easily acted upon my threats, yet all I wanted to do was watch him drop to his knees, legs apart, his forearms resting on those legs, and his head bowed down. I wanted Christian's complete submission and I received every drop of it.
As I had find myself studying Christian's face earlier, I do so again, and commit it to memory. I never want to forget how one may look like an angel and really be the spawn of Satan. However, is that what Christian is or simply as I see him? I shake my head and turn to make my way to the door that Tom is holding open for me.
It is then, while taking those few steps toward Tom's smiling face, that my mind suddenly becomes a kaleidoscope of vivid and color images.
I am lying on the sofa in Christian's office in The Mile High Club with a sprained ankle. Shy, yet excited by the attention The Christian Grey was paying to me.
Flirting and my genuine laughter while Skyping with one another before my first night at Escala.
Cloudless skies and warm days spent on The Grace.
Listening to Christian confide in me about his life and telling me how I led him into a place of light.
A beautiful Christian on a bended knee with a ring in hand.
That magical and blissful wedding on a glorious May afternoon.
Each kiss.
Touch.
Every I love you.
The devastating knowledge that it was only real to me.
That Christian never loved me.
I was surrounded by lies and betrayals.
It was all fake.
Every second of it was a delusion.
I was an ignorant fool.
Suddenly coming to a halt just as I am about to step through the door, I turn and look back into the room.
Jason is waiting for Christian, who is fixing his tie, putting his suit jacket back on, and attempting to smooth the wrinkles from it.
"Christian." I say.
Both men immediately look at me. The expression of confusion and loss on Christian's face is no longer there and he impassively returns my gaze.
"Once upon a time ago, I loved you irrevocably…..But now when I look at you I see a very see sad man with a lost and twisted soul, forever adrift at sea."
With that, I turn around, exit the room, and hear the soft click of the door closing, as I leave my past with Christian Grey behind me.
**********The End**********