Allllll rightie, people, I thank you EVER so much for your FABULOUS reviews! I NOW COMMANDE YE TO - I think you know the drill.

Authoresshiding : I'm sorry about making Legolas a girly type person. But if you have read some other stories, in mine he's not bad at all. Other people go over the top. But I love Orlando Bloom! Thanks for reviewin!

Jousting Elf with a Sabre : Thanks SO much for being my most loyal reviewer! I really appreciate it! Thankee for reviewin, matie! Hope you enjoy this next chapster!

Chapter 7: The Leave Taking

The next morning after Aragorn had blown Arwen off and gone crying to his dead mommy about when Arwen had punched him, and Elrond had told him that he couldn't stay in Rivendell, the Fellowship was all together in the front of Rivendell and ready to go. (Whoa, that was a run-on sentence, but who cares?)

"I do!" Frodo shrieked, clasping his hands together.

(Shaddap!)

Sam, of course, had drilled the entire company about five times, and everyone was thrilled when Elrond finally showed up.

"It's about time," grumbled Gimli.

"Thank heaven," sighed Boromir.

"All that drilling made my hair frumbly," complained Legolas, looking at his golden mirror. He tried to rush back to his room, but Elrond and a dozen Elves succeeded in tackling him and dragging him back to his spot.

"Come on now, we haven't got all day here," pointed out Sam. "Now if you don't obey me and do what I say, you won't be going there and back again, I guarantee that."

Legolas wrinkled up his nose and stuck his tongue out at Sam, who at the moment was talking to Elrond. Frodo saw this ghastly sight, and his hand shot up in the air.

"Commander Sam, Commander Sam!" he shouted, waving his hand around; "Major Legolas has just stuck his tongue out at you."

Sam turned around with a glare that would freeze your brain. He eyed Legolas warily. "You watch your back, mister," he growled. He then sauntered over to the Fellowship and stood straight and proper, awaiting his orders from Elrond.

"I think this army thing has gotten to his head," whispered Pippin to Merry, who nodded in agreement.

"The Fellowship awaits the Ringbearer," said Elrond smartly.

"Who me?" asked Frodo. "I...dum...uh..."

"Quit staring and move your feet!" yelled Aragorn.

"As you wish," shrugged Frodo; "I care not." He walked out of Rivendell and by sheer instinct turned to the right in the direction of the nearest tavern.

"You idiot," whispered Gandalf, who had popped up behind him, "Mordor is left."

"Riiiight, I knew that," answered Frodo, turning left. "But wait," he continued, "I don't want to go to Mordor with fire and ashes and thirst and pits, pits, pits, so I think I'll go right," he said.

"LEFT!" screamed Gandalf, banging his staff on Frodo's head. Frodo fell down unconscious.

"What are you going to do, then?" asked Pippin, who was snacking on a crispy Butterfinger.

"Let the Ringbearer decide," said Legolas smartly.

Everyone turned to Frodo, but he lay quiet on the ground. Gimli sighed a long, long sigh. No one paid any attention. So he sighed a longer sigh, but still no one paid him any attention. "Go figures," he muttered, spitting on his axe and wiping it with his beard.

Legolas saw him and made a face. "Ugghh, Dwarfs."

"Ugghh, Elves," returned Gimli, putting his axe back in his belt and patting it. Legolas shook his head in utter defeat. They would have stood there until Frodo woke up, if Gimli had not pointed out, "Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship has failed." They all bowed their heads sadly.

"No, there is still hope for Frodo," said Boromir. "He needs an ambulance, and safe passage to the hospital. We can give him that."

"How?" asked Sam suspiciously.

"Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands. In other words, make him run like a headless chicken," answered Boromir.

"And how would that help us?" asked Aragorn, determined not to be put down by Boromir. (Men and their egos, ya know?)

"And do headless chickens run?" said Merry.

"Mmmmm, I could go for a roasted chicken right about now," said Sam, licking his lips.

"Roasted chicken?" said Frodo, coming up from being knocked out; "Sam, my dear Sam." He smiled a very cute smile and brushed himself off. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Good people," started Boromir, holding up his hand. He then saw Aragorn glaring at him. "Aaand not so good people," he continued; "Now is the hour. Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken! Now fulfill them all to-"

"Wait-a wait-a hold it RIGHT there, buster!" said Aragorn. "We are not Riders of Rohan, we have not taken any oaths, and YOU do NOT say that!"

"Actually, you have taken oaths!" called Elrond from behind. He was reading the morning paper and marking all the good ads.

"Oh, SHUTTUP!" yelled Aragorn. "In the movie you said that we didn't take any stupid old oaths! Why don't you people do something right for a change?"

Elrond pouted and went back to reading the paper. It was just then he found an excellent sale going on at J. C. Penny's, and he thought that he should check it out. "It's all inside!" he sang. Suddenly there was a flash of lightning, and a table appeared and three people were sitting at it. They were Randy, Paula, and of course, Simon Cowell. To top it all off, Ryan Seacrest appeared wearing a black T-shirt and jeans and was holding a microphone. He ran over to Elrond and patted his back.

"So judges," he said in the microphone, "Elrond of Rivendell. What did you think?"

Randy made his famous that-was-good-sign with his hands. "Yo, man, you were Aaight, Dawg!" he shouted.

"Thank you, Randy," smiled Elrond, bowing. Ryan turned to Paula. "So, Paula, what did you think of Elrond? Will he make it to the semi-finals, or will he be voted off?"

Paula smiled. "I think you have an amazing talent, Elrond," she said, "And you picked a good song. But I feel that you need to have just a little bit more emotion. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

Elrond nodded understandingly.

"But overall I thought you were very good," she finished; "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Paula," responded Elrond.

Everyone turned to Simon, who was looking down at his papers and rubbing the back of his neck. Elrond looked expectantly at him for an answer. The final and critical judge looked up. "To be honest with you, Elrond," he said, "I thought that was horrendous. Absolutely horrendous. You were pitchy and off key, and you sounded like you were in an awful nightclub in Tennessee. I, I, I just don't know what to think at this stage in the competition. There are much better singers, and you just don't cut it. Sorry."

Elrond looked down to his toes. "All right, Simon," he said sadly.

Ryan turned to a nearby camera that had appeared. "All right, people, the number for Elrond is one-eight-six-six-idols-zero-one. That's one-eight-six-six-idols-zero-one if you want to vote for Elrond." Elrond made a one sign with his fingers.

"Just GET ON WITH IT!" cried the impatient and annoyed Hobbits. Ryan looked at them. "Thank you for watching 'American Idol', everybody. Seacrest out." The cameras turned off. Ryan and the judges stayed to chat with Elrond while the Fellowship made their way out of Rivendell and into the wild.

Well, well, WHAT did you think, hmmmm? Is it a befittin chappie, mates? Lemme know!