I'm so sorry I haven't updated in AGES! My dumb internet's been down. But anyways, here's the next chapster!

Jousting Elf With a Sabre: Thank you for reviewing, as ALWAYS!

Authoressinhiding: Same answer as above.

"Guys, we hafta get movin', here, I'm not running a circus, and I don't have forever to destroy the Ring, and I WANT TO GET BACK TO THE SHIRE SO I CAN DRINK MORE BEER AND GET STONED!" shrieked Frodo suddenly. Everyone stared at him.

"This is the wicked hobbitses that stole our precious?" said Gollum; "He'sss not the brightessst one we've met ssso far on our journiesess, preciousss."

"Get away!" screamed Frodo, pushing him to the ground.

"That's enough outta you, filthy maggot!" barked Sam, shoving him back. "I oughta put you back to Cadet for bein' so outta hand. But this time I'll be nice and let ya keep your rank."

Legolas, Aragorn, and Gandalf glowered and curled their hands into fists. S

am put his head up and motioned for the company to follow him. Everyone was mad and wanted to kill him except for ol' Kelly, who was gnashing his fingers and looking very scared and mislaid.

The Fellowship commenced their journey through the Mines, making no more noise than a mouse on parade, which, if you consider the size of the mouse, than it can be a lot of racket. Everyone was grumbling to themselves about how mean everyone else was, and no one talked to each other for a long time.

Suddenly, as they continued through the great halls of Dwarrowrdelf, Gimli suddenly shouted and ran into a nearby smaller room.

"Gimli!" snapped Gandalf bluntly, annoyed at him for slowing up the journey. Everybody waited for Gimli to come back, and the Hobbs tapped their feet in utter exasperation.

Legolas seized this opportunity that he had been waiting for to comb his hair yet again, and from that day forward, he was Gimli's best friend.

Aragorn said, "Gimli's probably looking for a good stone to throw at Gandalf. Personally," he whispered to Boromir, "I don't really care if the old geezer dies."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" said Boromir rolling his eyes.

"Shaddap, maggots," yapped Gandalf. Suddenly Pippin had a brilliant idea. "I have a great idea!" he shouted loudly.

"Do we really want to know?" sighed Aragorn. He had just been thinking about how to fix broken knives, and what would happen if he super glued it back together.

"Yes, of course you do, bonehead," retorted Pippin, "Now listen. Why don't we go into the room that Gimli's in, decorate it with a little pizzazz, and then we can PART-AY!"

Everyone was growing very excited at this wonderful strategy, while Celeborn was giving a freaked out look at Legolas, who at that moment was paying no attention to anyone and was putting on skin moisturizer.

"What do I do?" cried Sam, who had given up on these complete idiots.

"We can PART-AY!" shrieked the exuberant Fellowship, who was really getting into the spirit.

"Let's put up balloons and streamers!" cried Boromir enthusiastically, jumping up and down happily.

"And we can get ourselves a tasty buffet and break out the ale!" yelled Aragorn jubilantly, running towards the room, as did all the others.

"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!" Everyone shouted, charging full force into the room. Merry and Pippin were skipping together merrily, singing, "I'm havin' a part-ay! A party for two! Invitin' nobody! Nobody but you!"

Poor Gimli had been mourning the loss of his dead cousin, Balin, who had a tomb with the dwarfish letters: R. I. P. That freaked him out a little bit, especially the picture of a pirate taped crudely to the top. He then heard a strange and ghostly laughter coming from the side of the room. Then someone said, "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum!" Gimli saw a lighted prison in the cave. He saw no one inside it, but the door was shut and locked. He drew out his axe and growled, approaching it slowly.

"Bring your pretty face to my ax!" he snarled. No one could be seen, so he put his face up to the door and peeked in. There was much treasure, many old maps and chests, and to the side, a pirate sitting in a chair. It did not move. Gimli blinked, befuddled. Suddenly the pirate moved jerkily and said in an automated tone of voice, "Aye, maties, there's much treasure abroad. Take it while ye can." It then burst into laughter, which suddenly ceased, and the pirate stopped moving.

"Arrrggghh," Gimli growled, "It's just a fake pirate and fake treasure. The coins aren't even real."

The Fellowship charged in at that moment, but halted when they saw Gimli looking into a lighted door.

"What is it, Gimli?" Frodo asked.

"Come and see for yourself," replied the latter. The company glanced at each other uncertainly, and slowly walked over to where Gimli was. They all peered in and saw the whole charade.

"Ooohh, it's an animated pirate, and real treasure," said Aragorn, his eyes growing wide. Gimli punched him.

"It's not real, you dumbbell," he growled.

"It's just like the one in the mini golf places," observed Boromir, staring at it keenly.

"Which ones?" Merry questioned, interested at this whole thing.

"Pirate's Cove," answered Pippin.

After seeing all the things that the pirate said, they lost interest and walked away, the life of the party all gone out of them. But then they saw Legolas putting a ball through a windmill, and they went over to him.

"Whatcha doin'?" asked Frodo.

"I'm playing mini-golf," replied the latter, hitting the ball into the hole.

"I'm playing!" cried Aragorn, grabbing another golf club and ball.

The rest did the same, and soon they had started a fun game. When they were all done, Boromir said, "Well, it's gettin' kinda late, fellas. I probably should be gettin' home now, or my dad'll kill me." He threw the club into a wall and walked out of the room. But suddenly a arrow hit the door right in front of him, and he saw a horrific sight.

Mwa ha ha, I'm so baaad. But do I care? Not in the wee bit slightest. If you review, I'll post the next chapter up soon.