Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, or the episode 'Alternative' that inspired this, as anyone who reads the snippet below will soon discover. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Many thanks to my faithful reviewers; you make me feel loved. How's my writing? Call 1-800- REVIEW.

Vash dodged chunks of falling concrete thrown into the air by the rampaging sandworm currently ripping through the city. Now, at least, he had guessed where they were coming from, and the destruction would stop. He aimed, fired, and shattered the sonic transmitter behind the young blonde boy's left ear. The little boy stood proudly, chest puffed out and tiny hands on his hips, and announced: "I am Zazie the Beast, the – "

"Zazie Xavier Smith! You stop that this minute, mister!"

The Beast fell silent and slowly turned toward the owner of the voice, a very irate man in his late thirties. Vash bristled with annoyance. This kid had just destroyed a whole city with his sandworms – was this guy crazy! As the stranger drew closer, Zazie bowed his head.

"Have you been doing your silly voices again? ", the man demanded. The little assassin continued to stare at his feet.

"N – no, Dad."

"Your mother and I leave town for four days, and THIS is what happens? Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? I ought to give you a spanking right now!" the man continued.

Now things were really confusing. Vash turned to the man who was, apparently, Zazie's father and said, "Wait a minute…hold on. That kid doesn't have any parents – all the kids here are orphans. Their parents got up in the middle of the night one night and abandoned them, never to return." He went on to relate everything that had happened since his arrival with Wolfwood and the Insurance Girls.

"Is that what they told you?" "The Beast's" father chuckled. "The little fibbers – we had to relocate everyone when our Plant started to burn out a year ago. The adults in town wanted to be sure that the new city site was uncontaminated – free of radiation, land mines – and homes mostly finished before we moved the children over. Some of the kids here are orphans, my wife and I run the orphanage, but most have families waiting for them in….Zazie, where is your sister?" he broke off suddenly. "She's supposed to be watching you!"

Zazie shrugged. "Sara's at her boyfriend's house with Kim. She said they were gonna have a party for her 19th birthday, an' she's not back yet."

Mr. Smith sighed. "I should've known better than to leave that girl in charge. I'll take care of her later. As for you, young man, make sure Skippy is in his den, and tell everyone to get ready to go. And don't think you're not getting that spanking!"

"Yes, sir", the Beast pouted.

"Skippy?" Vash asked.

"It's the name of his pet sandworm.", Zazie's father replied. After making his son thank 'the nice man' for keeping everyone safe, including a grudging apology and a promise to always take his Ritalin, the harried father walked Vash back to the orphanage and his friends. "Thanks for taking care of the kids", said Mr. Smith. "I'm really very sorry about all this, mister….?"

"Uh…never mind. I was glad to help, really…." Vash said weakly. In that moment, he vowed that form now on he would spend the bulk of his time with people over the legal drinking age.