Thank you for your reviews! Here is the next chapter, after a very long delay! So sorry, people!
Jousting Elf With a Sabre: Thank you, as always, for reviewing my story. I hope you like this next chapter!
Authoressinhiding: If you keep on laughing like that, you're going to need to get some serious humorous fanfiction insurance.
CONTINUING ONWARD!
One of the men, who had a crown on his head, said, "Greetings. I am Arthur, King of the Britans. Will you join us, good and brave knights, in my quest to find the Holy Grail? We have ridden since the snows of winter, my fellow knights and I."
The Fellowship stared at him in utter bewilderment and astonishment. Arthur looked at his knights, who were Launcelot, Galihad, Robin, and Bedivere.
They looked back at him, and Bedivere said, "Maybe they're playing freeze-tag, my liege. I have heard that Elves are quite fond of the game, and maybe if we pretend to play along with them-" Launcelot banged him over the head and turned to Arthur.
"Shall I kill them, milord?" he said, "I know I can, just let me slay them all." He tried to run towards the company, but Arthur yanked him back, saying, "No, no, no, I don't need you to kill them for me. I'm trying to convince them to come with me on our quest."
"If I hear one more thing about a quest, I'm gonna go outta my cotton-pickin' mind," Aragorn said angrily.
"Silence!" shouted Sam.
Gandalf said to Arthur, "Lookie here, kingie-person, I've dealt with a lot o' kings in my day, and I don't need some prancin' little pastry to come and start bossin' me around. We don't need to go on a quest, we are not knights, you're not the brightest fellow, and neither is that dude," he pointed to Bedivere, "And we are NOT going to search for some stupid Grail!"
King Arthur was quite taken aback.
"Well, then," he said, "I guess that's a no. Come along, knights, we've a long ways to go yet."
The knights trotted off into the Mines, singing the Camelot song as they went.
"Nasssty knightssss sstole our line, precioussss. We hatesss them. Curssse them," hissed a very angry Gollum, glaring at the disappearing men.
"Freako whack jobs," muttered Boromir under his breath. "Look what this world is turning into."
"Well at least I have joined the environmentalist league, the World Wildlife Fund, and the Arbor Day club, so at least someone in this company has some pity for nature," sniffed Aragorn.
"Dude, you just, like, killed half a dozen spiders on our trip here, not to mention the three thousand deer," Legolas, checking his bow.
"And don't forget the birds you murdered," Frodo pointed out.
Aragorn looked mighty uncomfortable. "How should I know if the deer weren't spies of Sauron?" he said, "And after seeing 'The Incredibles', I want to make sure that none of the birds were spying on us."
"Yo, King Arrogant," said Boromir, "That movie isn't real. It's computer animated, remember?"
Aragorn was stupefied. "You mean... Dash isn't real?"
"Exactly my point," stated Boromir firmly, crossing his arms.
"Aww, nuts," said Aragorn, kicking a helmet.
"Shaddap, maggot," snarled Sam, "Look who's coming." Everyone turned and looked down the long passageway. A growl was heard, and a red glowing light shone on the walls.
"It's the Balrog himself, coming to save us from our torturer," cried Aragorn, dropping down on one knee, "Oh, Balrog, great and powerful Balrog, come and save us now!"
Gandy knew he had to do something quick and easy so he would not be killed. "Come on, maggots," he said, shoving them into a nearby doorway, "Time to skeedaddle and get outta here. No time to lose, sillies!" he hissed, running through the doorway.
Poor Boromir had almost fallen to his death when he was saved by Legolas.
"Oh, skinflints," muttered Aragorn, "I wished he had fallen into the very fires of Mordor."
"Dude, for one thing, we're not in Mordor, and the second thing is..." Boromir said, "I DIDN'T FALL! AH HA, HA, HA, HA!" he cackled, bounding with great ease down the long stairway.
Legolas and Gimli followed, and the Hobbs wondered how Boromir could be so agile. I mean, after eating all that Bryer's ice cream and those Lay's cheddar and sour cream potato chips for the last three months, you would think that he would be enormously obese by now. But, no, there he was, beating all the odds, not to mention ruining Aragorn's reputation as well, and skipping merrily along down the stairs.
"Serenity now, serenity now!" cried Gandalf hopelessly.
The Fellowship finally came to halt when they came upon a large gap in the stairway. Legolas leapt over with ease, and encouraged Gandalf to take a try.
"Come on Gandalf, take a stab at it," he coaxed, patting the stone.
Gandalf was mighty uncomfortable.
"Gandalf is mighty uncomfortable," Pippin whispered to Merry, who was at that moment thinking of a way how to throw stones at measly old cats.
Hey, shut up, would ya? I don't want no hobbit repeating whatever I say, ya know.
"Zorry," said Pippin. Thank you. Now, as I was saying, Legolas was just telling Gandy Candy to take a stab at it.
"Fine, then, if that's what you really want me to do, then I shall do what I should do, and should do what I shall do," Gandalf said, drawing his sword.
Legolas was quite on the befuddled side. "What the-" he started, wondering what wizard was doing.
"To infinity, and BEYOND!" Gandalf cried, stabbing the air with his sword vigorously.
Gimli muttered to himself, "Now he's really done it. Pure posh. I was at least hoping for a few more days, but he's gone nuts." He sighed. As always, everyone simply paid no attention to him.
"Anyways," said Merry, still in his dream world, "How are we going to throw stones at ol' wizards, uh, I mean old cats, I mean..." he looked around sheepishly at everybody, who now thought that he was the one who had totally lost his gourd.
"What I'm trying to say is.." Merry said, correcting himself.
"Is that you're nuts?" Aragorn said.
"You're a freako?" Frodo added, picking his nose.
"You're a whackjob?" Sam said, slapping Frodo's hand away from his nose.
"NO!" yelled Merry, stamping his foot. Then the ground suddenly started to shake and rumble, and Gandalf was suddenly hurled from his spot and onto the other side of the gap. Everyone glared at Merry.
Hope you liked that chapster! Please review! I love getting them!