Black, White and Gray
02
Your Arrogant Ferret...
Disclaimer: I only own the feelings here, ok? Don't sue me for writing feelings in fanfictions, I just write for release... aw... P Anyways, thanks to JKR for creating HP.
A/N: Sooner or later, I know I can come up with a proper plot line on this one. I just know. P.S. WRITERS LOVES REVIEWS
White: so bright, so innocent, so pure. It was too much for me. I never would have believed you when you said white could be impure. Because every time I look at you, you were untouchable. Against the autumn leaves, the winter snow… You were as pure as any angel can be. I told you it was absolutely absurd to see Gray in all things Black and White.
But should I have considered it, would it really be true?
Black: so dark, so cruel, so tainted. It was what made me. It was I. I never believed you that I can be painted with white. Because, I told you, since birth, my father had seen to it that I would follow his footsteps, in success and in despair. And he has. I thought about this a lot but decided that most of my beliefs are burned to my very skin. My beliefs gave me a way of life. And one of its foundations is what my ancestors had passed to me. So, how can white ever take over the darkness that is black?
"Granger, next time we're in detention you better stay there. It wouldn't do well for my complexion to have any contact whatsoever with your coarse skin. And besides, I'm wearing Armani, I wouldn't touch it if I were you."
"Since when did I ever have the urge to be next to you? Let alone spend detention with you?"
"Now, now. You wouldn't want Professor Slughorn hear his favorite student having a fight with his Slytherin, eh?"
"Why you—argh! That's it. I'm already done with this—stuff! I'm leaving."
"You can not leave—!"
"Watch me!"
You told me I wouldn't fall alone. But, I already did. You remember the time when that Bulgarian took you to dance? I thought my vision was playing games with me but… there you are, the most beautiful angel I have ever set eyes on. What could I do? I tried to remain as menacing as ever, dissipate those damnable feelings, it could be the end of me! But, no, I was the first to fell. Like I was the one how first had a fell before you in a broomstick. Ah. Your smell, those raspberry smell breezing by the by…
"Granger, be still! To think it was you that I have to teach, I should've listened to father—"
"Well, too bad for you then. Since your father is still having a blast at prison. Would you just get your hand away from me?"
"If I do that, you know you'd fall, right?"
"I know what I'm doing, so let go!"
"I wouldn't if I were you. I saw you back in our first flying lessons, you could use some help."
"I do have help! Harry—"
"Ah, the great Scarhead. So, tell me, how was his expedition with those—ah—treasures?"
"Never you mind."
"Come one, I knew about that. To think that the Dark Lord shares some of his—plans."
"Why Professor McGonagall still allows you to stay here still riddles me! Hey! Get your slimy hands away from me!"
"No, no, Granger. I'm not letting go. You'll fall alone, you wouldn't want that do you?"
You never let me fall alone. You were with me. Little by little, I rejoice in just feeling you being so close to me and being free. But then… I knew it wouldn't last. Alas. What has happened after that again?
"I-I'm sorry, but… Harry and Ron, they... knew. Someone told them and they said I had to choose. I told them I wouldn't choose. I can't. I told them you really didn't want to be a Death Eater."
"What gives you the idea that I didn't want to be…"
"You wouldn't not after all of this."
"I still would. So, choose."
"I… can't. Please, you have to understand."
"I won't. Get it? I won't."
I can't let you leave me but I have to. I had to. Every time I look at that strangely beautiful mortal that was you, I took great pain for if I didn't push you away, the Dark Lord would personally attend to this matter. I didn't want that. Those brown curls that felt silk. That raspberry smell. Your soft face. That lips. I would always remember the day I had fallen for you, every single part of you I've adored…
"Granger, don't leave me behind again, you're not finished yet."
"I told you, I'm finished! Look you slimy git; I even cleaned most of your part! So let go of my arm or I'll give you another imprint on your cheek! Make that cheeks!"
"Oh-ho, you wouldn't do that again. You can't and you won't."
"Watch me."
"I am. I always have, Granger."
I knew you didn't want to do that… but for both our sakes, you could just have done it… It would make things much more easier…
"What, staring at me now? Those Slytherin girls not up to the needs of the Slytherin Prince?"
"You're not pretty Granger, face it."
"I have. So stop staring at me and let go of my arm! I'm finished with this detention!"
"No, because believe it or not I find it quite amusing that… you weren't pretty. You're beautiful, in a strange way. But still, beautiful."
"I—what? Something's completely wrong here. Okay, fine. You won, now can you just release my arm now?"
"No, I won't let go."
I won't and seemed that I even can't let go of you but in the end… I really have to. You didn't have to know everything. You just have to be safe and that's that.
"Please, Draco."
"I thought you chose the Light? Why are you here? Any moment Bellatrix and the others would come and if they spot you…"
"I don't care! Please, come on, you have to get out of here!"
"I told you before, we have this all sorted out. So go with your stupid muggle-loving friends and fool yourself."
"But—"
"GO."
You told me that you'd never leave and never let go… It frightened me. I wanted you to go away… Away, far, far away. I was afraid that I couldn't help myself and then what had became of all my efforts after that? I had been suppressing everything just for you… However, you mustn't know.
"All this time. I should've known this would eventually happen."
"No. It was, I told you! You should've gone back to Hogwarts!"
"But, you never told me it was… you were going to…"
"Ambush the Headquarters? I told you, my allegiance is to the Dark Side."
I hate lying to you… But you never knew that. All you knew was I needed warmth and love. I had to reverse that. But how can I? And then I thought; the only way to keep her safe is to prevent him from ever knowing was to bring it all right back from the start. But still… I couldn't just sit back and relax when I know you'd be in danger so I had come there… I knew you thought that I came to participate for him. It seems a good alibi. But it hurts to see such fair eyes… drowning in tears. But I knew you were stronger than that… So, therefore, I continued.
"I should've listened to Harry and Ron from the very start…""Why? What did that Scarhead and Weasel say?"
"It's not worth it."
I remember. I kissed you. I couldn't help it. I was so angry to hear you say that. I knew that wasn't true and it pained me that you said it. I longed for the solace that you offered, gave to me before but I knew also what were at stake. I felt so much pain and comfort. So much hate and love. But what could I do with it? I knew I was yours and you were mine but it wasn't meant to be. How could we not mean to be together? It felt so right… It just is.
"Say those words again, Granger."
"You perfectly heard what I said so can you just…"
"Say it to my face, look at me."
"It's not…It's… It's not worth it. My beliefs were tainted and it was because I followed my heart. It was a rather naive and foolish thing to do. I should've known from Professor Dumbledore's mistake…"
"That oaf is nothing compared to you!"
"I am nothing compared to him? I knew what could happen because it happened already! Don't you get it? But I got this one… I should've known…"
"Should've known what?"
"I… you used me, didn't you?"
"Why…"
After that… I knew it was final. I had seen fear… finally from your eyes. But, why can't I see regret? Why can't I see hatred? Did everything I did from before made work or not? I wasn't giving you anything… except for that kiss… a final kiss, for one last time.
"If that is what you think had happened then this is the last time we would ever set eyes to one another. Goodbye Granger."
I am always here… You knew but I could not face you again… I don't know how and I don't know if I even had the right to… Do I? Is so much feelings and devotion considered such a right… even if it just to show myself to you again…? Even if I could just talk to you again?
I know there can never be Gray. I would always be Black. You would always be White.
But… Isn't it ironic that when we were together? I knew there was always that Gray part, that impossible force that drove us together. That force that everyone says could conquer all.
I longed to come back… I really did miss you. But I could not find the courage to. Have you finally realized what I did? Yes, I have kept you safe. I couldn't let anything happen to you. You were already an A-list target before and until the war ends… I just cannot alter what I had just done. I had to make sure you will be as safe as can possibly be. And when the war did end… I wondered; could you accept me again?
I am aware… You finally know the truth. I pushed you away! Do you realize how hard it was for me to open my eyes, breathe, eat, drink, blink, beat, live? I didn't have any other choice… Anything else apart from that could have resulted differently… I couldn't have that.
But…it's all in the past. I just wanted to come home. I don't care anymore. I just care about you. I will try to come home… I have been longing to see you. It has been far too long.
Your Arrogant Dragon,
D. Malfoy
Whatever happens, when I see you again; I would never let you go out of my sight. Out of my reach, out of my life. I wanted you back, didn't you ever realized that from the moment this War ended?
But you told me. Black and White could mix and at first I wouldn't hear any of it. So much at risk…but you kept on telling me… We could… can love each other. What if I really didn't care what others think? What if I didn't give a damn that I'm the son of the Dark Lord's right hand? What if I didn't give a damn of what others think if I loved you, of all people? I told you I never wanted to taint you innocence. I want to treasure you… But you said white could be impure. I conceded then I really did made the white impure… I realize… What ever happens, you will always be pure to me.
You were the only Light in my Darkness. I realize that for so long… But it wasn't until now that I would embrace it.
Because… Black is attracted to White. No matter what others do. They just… They belong together because they make out Gray.
"Love conquers all; therefore let us yield to it."