DISCLAIMER: See previous chapters.

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Someone to Watch Over Me

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A few minutes past midnight:

She's so beautiful, Logan reflected, looking at the angelic face at his side, cheek tipped back onto his thigh. He tried to keep his expression neutral, to avoid telegraphing his worry at finding her here, her behavior so unlike the usual, confident, land-on-her-feet Max. What hurt her so deeply that she would come here, like this, wanting comfort? He gazed at Max's perfect features. She's been through so much, fought all her life, either under Manticore's thumb or running from them ... no wonder she hurts ... no wonder it exhausts her. His fingertips traced gentle, quiet comfort along her brow. It's amazing that she made it so long on her own, without losing her sanity ... or her life... he reflected. Still... something happened; something upset her. He swallowed the disappointment that he'd probably never know what it was. Someday, Max... maybe you'll be ready to let me in, maybe even tell me what's so painful that even you need a shoulder...

She sighed; he shifted to trace her hair back, a soft, tangling in her curls that soothed her even more. She seemed to be quieting, and he could feel her muscles relaxing. If I could just find a way to let her forget ... if there were a way to her heart, I'd never let it be broken again... Logan imagined himself coming closer to take her soft cheek in his hands, trace her smooth skin and taste her lips, a fantasy he'd indulged more than once...

...but they weren't like that, and she wasn't here, with him, for that, he chided his guilty imagination. Whatever it had taken to finally get to her, she hurt and sought comfort – and had come to him. That thought was enough for now... it had to be. It meant another step taken in her trust of him – and no matter what, he had to remember what a powerful thing that was...

A few minutes past midnight:

I could stay like this forever, Max imagined as she breathed in Logan's scent, and felt muscles she didn't know were tense start to unknot, letting him hypnotize her with his magic touch. If I never left this spot I wouldn't mind, she thought, irrationally. I could almost believe that this place was untouchable, and the Pulse never happened... that Manticore was just a bad dream...

...that Logan and I were 'like that...'

This was just as she'd imagined, coming to Logan for comfort and his giving exactly that, no questions before she was ready, no demands... whatever he'd planned, whether it was continued sleep or more work, he cast it away to give her his attention and just be there for her. It wasn't always Logan's reaction, she understood, not when she was her normal self and the downtrodden were involved ... but like this, when she was a bit downtrodden herself, he saw through her immediately and just as quickly moved to comfort her...

How could he know, so fast, and so well, that this is what I needed? And how did I know that he would?

Max curled silently against him as his whispered touch soothed the competing ghosts of pain and loss, fear and exhaustion. Never in her embattled, mixed-up life had anyone ever touched her so sweetly and tenderly, with such gentle care, until Logan had – before, when the seizures were bad ... and now, when old hurts and new enemies seemed overwhelming. He's given so much already, she had to concede, and here I am again... As Logan's gentle ministrations eased her pain and softened her inner struggles, they gave way to let herself feel shame for taking his time, for asking him to see her like this. Like he doesn't have another million things on his plate... His ready willingness to accept her weaknesses both touched her and increased her guilt... He knew this was why I came ... and I knew he would. I would be happy staying like this forever... and he said he wasn't going anywhere...

She turned her face back toward him and opened her eyes, wondering with a blush if he could see her thoughts, too, if he knew his power. She felt the need to apologize, but any words died before she could form them: he looked content to have her there, so patient, as if he truly had nothing else pulling him away from this moment...

Logan saw Max turn back to him, and as her eyes opened, the 'responsible Logan' started to take control of his head. Self-conscious now too, he pulled back a little, untangling his long fingers from her hair and shifting his attentions to be less intimate, even while still soothing. It would be bad enough to take advantage of her sorrows, he reminded himself, steeling himself not to let her see his thoughts. Even worse to have her worry again that I might misunderstand, and have to clear things up again as she did in the hospital...

In his face, Max saw, too, that the concern Logan had managed to mask was still there; her sudden neediness had him worried, and his fear of telegraphing that worry had him scrambling to look unaffected. But she had learned his expressions and his disguises, and knew that he wanted to hide his fears from her, for her sake. If only the world could be as good as Logan's heart, she thought irrationally, none of this would have happened ... no Red series ... no Lydecker ...no Manticore...

...no Eva, Max suddenly thought, with a chill. No me...

"Max?"

She'd sat up at the thought, the connection momentarily disturbing. As she did, the worry in the green eyes was exposed. But with his expression, Max could imagine what he'd say, if she blurted out the thought: not your fault, Max, no one picks how they're born... she looked back at the serious look on the handsome face, and managed a wan smile, sad for Eva and herself and for him. "Just a bad night," she said softly, her apology finally managed. "Just got to thinking about everything and I let it get to me."

Logan looked into the deep, sad eyes and saw that, if she wasn't telling him everything, at least she was telling him the truth. No new dangers, just the old familiar ones, he thought ruefully. "Understandable," he smiled gently. "It's a big world out there."

Her smile at his understatement was finally genuine, if small, but definitely Max. "It is that." She looked at him directly, less ashamed now with the reprieve in his words. "And here I am, holding up the battle."

"You're not," he promised immediately, his words barely audible. "Plenty of time to save the world later." He paused, and, seeing how even as she came back, she was still far from 'alright,' urged again, "and plenty of reasons not to run off so fast..."

She wavered, looking into the remarkable green eyes before her, her old life battling the new for control... and finally, with a sigh, not speaking, she leaned her cheek back onto his thigh...

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There's a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we're often told, seek and ye shall find
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet
He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

Someone to Watch Over Me
George & Ira Gershwin, 1926

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