Haven't updated in a while, I've been really busy with my Star Wars stories. Sorry bout that!

NOTICE: Actually, a question. I wanted to do a LOTR/Narnia crossover. Do you think I should go for it?

Jousting Elf WIth a Sabre: You're totally excused! Hope you like this chapter!

Chapter... I've lost count.

That night, as Frodo was sleeping peacefully, Galdy came up and grabbed him by the throat.

"Oaf, hack, hack, hack," Frodo choked and coughed, suddenly awaking.

"You will come with me," she said firmly, yanking him out of his bed. She brought him to a pool of water, and after dumping more water in, she shoved Frodo next to it.

"There, look in it," she said irritably.

"But I-"

"Just DO IT!"

Frodo slowly peered into the water, and suddenly saw a big eye. It looked around for a moment, and then was gone. Frodo looked up at Galdy for some answers, but she was busy talking to Gimli, who had sneaked out of bed.

Frodo looked back down and saw something very interesting. It was the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean". As he watched Legolas and Johnny Depp for a few minutes, Galdy turned to him.

"What did you see?" she asked him.

"I looked into your future and I saw death," remarked Frodo creepily, looking up.

Galdy was confused. "Ya know, for a hobbit, you sure are freaky. I think you can go home now. There's no need for you to be here anymore." She turned back to Gimli.

Frodo scampered off only to hear Kelly screaming at his wife for being seen with a Dwarf. What an exciting night that had been! Not.

The Fellowship were finally given a couple of measly old boats, and after Aragorn twice checked them for spiders, they were merrily on their way. As they rowed as fast as a motorboat, they could still hear Galdy and Kelly screaming at each other.

"And I thought I had problems," muttered Boromir, rowing a bit faster. Frodo, scared as usual, fell out of the boat that he was sharing with Sam and Argo.

"Private, get BACK in here right NOW!" shrieked Sam.

"If he doesn't have a place to fall down, then he falls out of a boat," Aragorn remarked unpleasantly. He yanked a drowning Frodo out of the water and slapped him on the head.

"Wish he had drowned. Good riddance," mumbled Gimli, who was feeling the hair that Galdy had ripped out of her head in frustration.

"Now that's just sick," Legolas commented, looking away.

Next chapter: The Cool River

The Fellowship traveled the great river for many days and many nights.

"Aragorn, tell us a story," Pippin said, almost ready to go to sleep. The rest urged him on.

"Yeah, let's hear a story," said Boromir.

"One about knights and fair maidens in distress," added Merry, sitting up.

"The fair maidens in distress would pretty much describe Frodo," muttered Boromir.

"Mr. Mutterer," retorted Frodo, now really wishing he were stone drunk.

Aragorn raised his hand. "Fine, if you want a story, you'll get a story." The Fellowship leaned closer as Aragorn lit his pipe and turned very serious. But suddenly, he burst out singing. "Here's a story of a lovely lady, who was-"

"That's not the story I was wanting!" cried Legolas, "I wanted a story about me getting Eowyn, and her falling hopelessly in love with me, and her fainting in my arms at the battle of Helm's Deep, and then I awake her with a kiss, and-"

"He's gone nuts!" cried Boromir, "Help us all from insanity!"

"Serenity now, serenity now!" yelled Sam, throwing his hands up in the air.

Gimli turned to Boromir. "But your father is mad, isn't he?" he asked him.

Boromir thought. "Yeaahh, so what?" he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do ya think you might have gotten some of his insanity from him?" Gimli said, smoking his pipe thoughtfully.

Boromir thought some more. "Nahh," he answered, "I got my mom's qualities. A chance for Boromir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality." He slowly glanced at Frodo, who looked even more scared than usual.

"Didn't you steal your brother's line?" Merry said.

Boromir thought some more. "Oh yeahh," he said sadly.

That chapter was a bit short, but since I don't have that much written further, I want to prolong it as much as possible. Reviews are greatly appreciated!